The game is not noobie friendly

Your title highlights one of the biggest problems with the game.  It is true.

I don't have much for you, but I do want to point out one thing.  After the split is well underway, your experience in ranked should improve from what you described.  Because of the aggressive de-ranking that occurs each split, you will be facing many opponents from higher ranks.  But a few weeks in, that should chill out quite a bit.  Sure there are still going to be smurfs and previously high ranked players who have taken a long enough break to fall to bronze/silver.  But hopefully at a much smaller rate.

Good luck whatever you decide to do!