S7 stories for the children

Short and sweet stories: 

1. My team was doing really well, up until the last squad. We had fought off multiple squads and gotten a lot of kills, and had just barely survived another third party attempt. As we out-run the ring, the final squad pulls up and starts wailing on us. Our spot in the zone was a tiny little area with minimal cover, so I do what anyone with more than 2 braincells does, and start scrambling for a better position. I do this by hopping in a nearby Trident, and spamming the "Get in losers" key while taking fire and PURPOSELY blocking my teammates line of sight to the enemy. They refuse to get in. I speed off on my own because I'm low health, get to a much better position, my teammates get pushed and die after getting their shields cracked due to lack of cover. I chastise them, and quit the match. 

2. I join lobby, I hear someone feebly whimper into the mic, "If you get shot don't leave immediately please. I've gotten to 2nd place like 8 times." Okay, fair. A fight breaks out, I down all 3 targets and secure one kill with 50 damage after said teammate hits them. 2 of the targets was just me and my third fighting, while microphone man is LOOTING. I chastise them for it, and they break out into a rage immediately cursing and screaming about how "WELL, I HIT THAT LIFELINE FOR 90 DAMAGE YOU MOTHER F___ER", and honestly I immediately muted them once I heard their tone get aggressive. Guy was level 500 complaining about leavers, and I know for a fact that's the kind of person who doesn't want solos because they want all the wins without doing ANY of the work, because they immediately as Horizon after raging about how I stole a kill used their tactical to hop over a wall and fall to their death, then immediately left. A whiny little man baby is what that guy was, and genuinely the best laugh of my S7 experience easily. 

2.a. They're level 500, complaining about leavers. But they purposely left their teammates to fight so they could loot a kill that was "stolen" despite both people shot the same target at the same time. Upon being criticized for it (with my exact words being, "'don't leave when shot, is looting while teammates are fighting'"), breaks out into a rage, purposely kills themselves, and quits. The biggest reason people want solos is to escape people like this dude, and this dude has so little self-awareness they just don't understand that they're the crappy teammate that people will genuinely leave early because of. I couldn't shoot straight for a minute cause I was giggling, like that kind of behavior is embarrassing, it's like, not even a surprise they're complaining about leavers.