Why no HUMAN CUSTOMER SUPPORT?

I KNOW this will probably  get shut down real fast cause I don't have a  "real" issue lol but it IS A REAL ISSUE TO US!!. We would like to be able to talk to a real live breathing human being about our issues. Not just through  forums, but on phone. Some things are hard to explain. How is it that a company as big as yours does not offer that? A suggestion would be offer remote support  to those that need it. Like me!!!

We are not all geeks, some of us just like to play a game but don't know much bout computers. It's very frustrating  when you can't play and can't get the help you need and you've paid all this $$ for these games. But yet the company don't offer much at all at customer support or tech support. It's sad . 

Ok go ahead shut me down, lol.....I'm  done venting.