Concerns about the upcoming ballon d' or event.

Dear (and I use the term loosely) EA,

I know you’re very busy about how to st... umhm—I mean, improving this game that’s already approaching perfection—but I have a few suggestions for you regarding the upcoming event.

Since the players' top speed already exceeds even that of a Maserati and their acceleration kicks in like a purebred CRM 500, I suggest that, along with the Level 3 acceleration you’re going to add, you also try out a new playstyle: airbag.

Since I have the resources to buy the fastest player you’ll ever release, it goes without saying that I’m worried.

What if I make a wrong turn and he crashes head-on into a sign? It would be a shame if he were smashed to a pulp and I didn’t get to enjoy him until next week, when you’ll release another 15 even better versions of the same player.

Also, since I have about fifteen Dembelés, could you release a goalkeeper version of him so I can have my entire starting lineup made up of Dembelés and another starting lineup on the bench?

Thanks in advance for not answering. I know: I'll erase my cache memory to fix it and I 'll check my wi fi stability.