Between2Worlds [Story] 06/04
https://i.ibb.co/xYcr7Zv/B2-WPart2-Banner.jpg Prologue here. Prologue here.
Forum Discussion
I don't know if I'll be able to answer all the questions to the full extent they deserve, but I'll try because I think it's great that you are asking for feedback from your readers. I enjoyed reading this story, and one thing that I really liked was that I saw how you progressed and developed as a writer. To me, your descriptions got much more vivid and fleshed out, and the story and characters got more complex as the story went on.
I do 100% agree with the above responses that you should write the story you want to write. I will still read because I have enjoyed the story and have gotten to know the characters, and I know that you'll deliver something creative and interesting. You, as the creator and writer, know your characters much better than anyone else and the story you want to tell. I'm impressed with the creativity of simlit authors and am often like... wow, I could have never come up with that, and that's what makes reading so enjoyable.
And I'll go on a mini-rant about the GOT ending since I saw it brought up in the comments. I think the main problem with that ending was they rushed the whole thing, and it just didn't make sense in character development. I've always thought that one of the main protagonists is actually a villain (I won't say who), but they rushed it in the TV show and it just didn't work. I'm hoping Martin will do a better job in the books. My own opinion is that when the writers didn't have the books to work with, it just went downhill from there. I think Martin, as an author, knows his characters and I think the TV show writers didn't connect with the characters on the same level. Also, I think my least favorite part of GOT was the white walker conclusion; it was so lackluster (I was literally like, that's it? and then proceeded to yell at the TV for like a half-hour, lol). Anyway, totally went off in a rant, because I am a huge fan of the books and that ending really didn't do the characters or the story justice.
Those are my general responses, and I wrote this up late at night, so I apologize if anything doesn't make sense. I'll answer the other questions throughout the week. :)
I do 100% agree with the above responses that you should write the story you want to write. I will still read because I have enjoyed the story and have gotten to know the characters, and I know that you'll deliver something creative and interesting. You, as the creator and writer, know your characters much better than anyone else and the story you want to tell. I'm impressed with the creativity of simlit authors and am often like... wow, I could have never come up with that, and that's what makes reading so enjoyable.
And I'll go on a mini-rant about the GOT ending since I saw it brought up in the comments. I think the main problem with that ending was they rushed the whole thing, and it just didn't make sense in character development. I've always thought that one of the main protagonists is actually a villain (I won't say who), but they rushed it in the TV show and it just didn't work. I'm hoping Martin will do a better job in the books. My own opinion is that when the writers didn't have the books to work with, it just went downhill from there. I think Martin, as an author, knows his characters and I think the TV show writers didn't connect with the characters on the same level. Also, I think my least favorite part of GOT was the white walker conclusion; it was so lackluster (I was literally like, that's it? and then proceeded to yell at the TV for like a half-hour, lol). Anyway, totally went off in a rant, because I am a huge fan of the books and that ending really didn't do the characters or the story justice.
Spoiler
1. Did you enjoy the story?
Yes, I enjoyed this story a lot. The concept is very original to simlit. I love the criminal underground background; I love the darker themes you explore. Your poses are outstanding, and your pictures capture the story so well.
2. What was your favourite part, and which was your least favourite part?
I like the crime organization scenes, and the Masato and Kirino chapters. I think the criminal organization could be its own standalone story. I also really enjoyed Grim as a character, so anytime he showed up, I was happy.
3. How do you feel about the ending?
To me, it was more like a transition into the next story. There were a lot of loose ends (not to say that is bad, some loose ends can be okay, and I think that real-life situations don't always get neatly resolved). I think I would have liked Athena and Curtis to break up instead of just be left in this relationship limbo (maybe I just like solid conclusions for romance stories). I thought the Grim story arc, came to a good conclusion, and I enjoyed that. I was curious about Athena's mom and brother, and what happened there.
4. Do you feel like the story was different from what you expected when you started?
I didn't expect it to get so dark (not that was a bad thing, and I like reading dark or difficult topics). I knew that romance would be a major part of the story, but I also enjoyed the darker themes of the story. I liked the way you transitioned into darker themes, and I felt like I knew where the story was going, or if it would touch on a darker topic. I thought you did a good job of providing content warnings to readers, so if someone wanted to skip, they could.
5. What do you think of the darkness from chapter 6 until the end? Was the darkness too much, not much, present but not bad, present but bad? etc
I don't mind darker topics and have a pretty high tolerance for dark subject matter, so it wasn't too much for me as a reader. I thought you did a great job of touching on difficult themes and I think that it was tastefully done.
6. What are your predictions for S2? Feel free to answer everything else before attempting this
I'm not completely sure, but I'll just throw something out there. I think Athena and Curtis will go through a rocky time in their relationship. Maybe they'll break up? I'm not sure. At first, I was rooting for them as a couple, but as time goes on, I think I would like to see them not in a relationship and see how they grow individually, and maybe a reunion in the end, if they are still compatible.
I kind of hope that Kian goes on his own little self-discovery journey, maybe in looking for his father? Kian is growing on me as a favorite character. Grim currently holds the position as my favorite and Kian is coming in at second. Masato and Kirino are probably tied at third for me. I don't see Kian and Carly lasting. I've never been a big fan of Carly, but maybe it's because I just haven't connected with her character or don't know her character well enough.
Yes, I enjoyed this story a lot. The concept is very original to simlit. I love the criminal underground background; I love the darker themes you explore. Your poses are outstanding, and your pictures capture the story so well.
2. What was your favourite part, and which was your least favourite part?
I like the crime organization scenes, and the Masato and Kirino chapters. I think the criminal organization could be its own standalone story. I also really enjoyed Grim as a character, so anytime he showed up, I was happy.
3. How do you feel about the ending?
To me, it was more like a transition into the next story. There were a lot of loose ends (not to say that is bad, some loose ends can be okay, and I think that real-life situations don't always get neatly resolved). I think I would have liked Athena and Curtis to break up instead of just be left in this relationship limbo (maybe I just like solid conclusions for romance stories). I thought the Grim story arc, came to a good conclusion, and I enjoyed that. I was curious about Athena's mom and brother, and what happened there.
4. Do you feel like the story was different from what you expected when you started?
I didn't expect it to get so dark (not that was a bad thing, and I like reading dark or difficult topics). I knew that romance would be a major part of the story, but I also enjoyed the darker themes of the story. I liked the way you transitioned into darker themes, and I felt like I knew where the story was going, or if it would touch on a darker topic. I thought you did a good job of providing content warnings to readers, so if someone wanted to skip, they could.
5. What do you think of the darkness from chapter 6 until the end? Was the darkness too much, not much, present but not bad, present but bad? etc
I don't mind darker topics and have a pretty high tolerance for dark subject matter, so it wasn't too much for me as a reader. I thought you did a great job of touching on difficult themes and I think that it was tastefully done.
6. What are your predictions for S2? Feel free to answer everything else before attempting this
I'm not completely sure, but I'll just throw something out there. I think Athena and Curtis will go through a rocky time in their relationship. Maybe they'll break up? I'm not sure. At first, I was rooting for them as a couple, but as time goes on, I think I would like to see them not in a relationship and see how they grow individually, and maybe a reunion in the end, if they are still compatible.
I kind of hope that Kian goes on his own little self-discovery journey, maybe in looking for his father? Kian is growing on me as a favorite character. Grim currently holds the position as my favorite and Kian is coming in at second. Masato and Kirino are probably tied at third for me. I don't see Kian and Carly lasting. I've never been a big fan of Carly, but maybe it's because I just haven't connected with her character or don't know her character well enough.
Those are my general responses, and I wrote this up late at night, so I apologize if anything doesn't make sense. I'll answer the other questions throughout the week. :)
