Cantrell: The Early Years, Part Four
IDIC, a Cantrell: The Early Years, Part Four Update Brianna gazed out of the viewport, feeling the thrum of the engine beneath her booted feet. “It’s so dark,” she said as the space skiff landed ...
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Parted From Me and Never Parted, part Two, a Cantrell: The Early Years, Part Four Update
continued from part one:
Brianna’s heart was suddenly leaping wildly about in her chest, accompanying the butterflies in their unique symphony swirling inside of her. From the moment their paths cross this morning, it was this way, especially when he focused his attention on her. She felt immediately awkward and unable to think, hoping she wouldn’t say or do anything else to further embarrass herself — so much so, she was forced to keep her eyes from him.
The last thing she wanted to do was destroy his apparent image of her. She already felt the shame of her earlier lapse in discipline, to which he eluded, blatantly allowing her emotions to get the better of her, reacting as she had to Crewman Rhoades’ taunting. Right in front of Spock, again, of all people … Spock seemed to read her like a book. He was also busy trying to make eye contact with her, too. What else did he see when he looked at her, she pondered?
“Forgive me, I was —” Brianna wrapped her hands around the mug of tea resting on the table, sitting on the edge of her chair as if she would jump up from it any second and escape.
“Lieutenant. There is nothing to forgive. I realize you have Vulcan citizenship. But you are also human. You are not expected —”
“But I was taught better than this,” she said, gazing at him earnestly. “Really. I am d’Vel’nahr. Or at least I used to be, although by my behavior you would hardly know it now. Certainly, T’Pran would cringe, if she could see me. All her teachings shot straight out the nearest torpedo tube … I don’t seem to be in control much at all, lately.
A klaxon went off in Spock’s mind at the mention of T’Pran. The name wasn’t all that common. He found himself wanting to inquire if she was T’Pran of the House of Seltu Dei Pick? His heart began to flutter, he grew warm and wondered if he was having a medical incident, such as his father had aboard the Enterprise so many years ago. McCoy had to replace one of Sarek’s heart valves, a tricky surgery at the best of times, let alone on a Vulcan.
“Perhaps, being around so many humans,” she said, shaking her head and sitting back into her chair more fully. Taking a sip of tea, she placed the cup and her arm back on the table again. Busily, she traced the lip of the gray Styrofoam-shaped ceramic mug around and around again, in her own way withdrawing from the uncomfortable subject. She sighed again. “I don’t know. It’s just. Well — I guess on top of it all I’m a bit nervous, sir,” she said, again dropping her gaze.
“Indeed? Then I submit by your own criteria, you have been rather nervous since you got here. While your grasp of Vulcan custom and protocol is rather commanding, your application seems capricious, at best. Vulcan-by-Choice, did you say? By whose choice, yours or someone else’s?”
There was a moment of silence that followed. Someone’s loud guffaws could be heard in the background. Spock sat back in his chair, momentarily nonplused. “That was not a criticism, Lieutenant. Merely an observation,” he said, at last. She seemed unduly hard on herself, leaving him to wonder, Vulcan-by-Choice or not, who in their right mind had taught her to restrain herself so completely? — not that the lessons had taken entirely, leaving him slightly amused and curiously relieved at the same time. This T’Pran of hers sounded harder-nosed than his own father. Seltu Dei Pick. Has to be her.
“I guess it was a bit insane to think I could ever be Vulcan.”
“Perhaps, more for the fact that you are human,” Spock said, gently. He reached over again, almost without presence of mind, to touch her arm. Brianna was wearing a white duty smock, an attractive almost caftan-style tunic, vee-neckline, her sleeves ended just below her elbows, edged with lace. Absentmindedly, Spock stroked the lace with his thumb. “Trust me, Lieutenant, I know. For me, it is a constant struggle.”
“What’re you actually two people in one?” she grinned at last.
Spock felt the warmth of her smile, grinning ever so slightly in return. “If I may confide in you for a moment, there are times when I would actually prefer to throw my hands into the air and run ranting from the room, just as our good Doctor McCoy is so often inclined.”
“But your Vulcan-side holds you back?”
“Mercifully, yes. And then I just get on with it.”
“Straining your Vulcan reserve to the maximum. I see how it is.” She took another sip of her tea.
“Indeed. And if I may prevail upon you even further, it would be to ask that you not be unduly hard on my new friend Lieutenant Cantrell. Judging her by standards that are impossibly high. If I have learned anything, it is to just be yourself.”
“Oh, all the time, sir. But tell me, which self is you?”
Spock drew in a breath, sitting upright, shaking his head at her. “Madam, that sharp tongue of yours is going to lead to your undoing. Now, out with it.”
“My tongue?” she said, innocently enough, her eyes wide.
“Negative. Although at this moment if feels as if I am pulling teeth. You were about to tell me what it is that has you so overstrung.”
“Oh, I don’t think so, sir. Was I?” Again, she hid her mirth behind her cup, taking another sip of tea. Already it was cooling off, to her dismay. She preferred her tea hot, especially with the ginger in it. Otherwise, it took on a nasty taste, for which no amount of sweetener would help. I have to ask Daddy to send me some real Vulcan tea.
“You were, indeed, Lieutenant. You are acting very much like a caged Le’mayta. Something is troubling you. And it is my concern that if you do not let it out soon, your restraint will, at long last, give way and I shall next have to visit you in the brig for actually having assaulted someone. Be it Archer, Rhoades, or some other unsuspecting irritant. Either that, or you will simply implode. Now, are you going to divulge your secret, or do I have to pull rank on you?”
“Wow, you can be extraordinarily tough when you want to be, can’t you.”
“Shall I order you, then?” Spock was enjoying this easy banter between them, keeping his ready smile under wraps for now.
“No, actually, I’ll tell you what it is,” she said, putting her mug back on the table, rising to her feet, “but do you mind if we continue to talk as we walk? It’s like I’ve got this electric current going through me. I could probably light up an entire Christmas tree without effort.”
“As you wish, madam,” he said, also rising, “but isn’t it rather early for Christmas?” Spock resumed his role of tour guide, leading the way off of the recreation deck.
More to Come. . .
Author’s Note: I have reversed my decision. The interplay between Spock and Brianna in this chapter, is just too difficult for me to recreate. Forgive me for using more of my published work. This is taken from Chapter 19 from Night Whispers: The Deception, which is volume two of my Star Trek fanfiction trilogy. Heavily edited to fit my Sim Story. Thank you.
They do understand each other very well though they may not understand it completely at the moment.. I hope their talk goes well.
Thank you.
prefer to throw my hands into the air and run ranting from the room, just as our good Doctor McCoy is so often inclined
Might do you good, try sometimes 😃 I know Bones would agree with me.
This and previous chapter, very interesting how their relationship will grow. Yet so very fragile😊
ps. sorry I reply these both chapters at once, but this is holiday season, after all, and I dont have the time to focus on stories, or sims in general, daily as much like I normally would. My apologies🤗
No worries. I'm just happy to know your thoughts on my story after you read the updates. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Such an interesting dance, weaving closer and then apart. Only to be drawn together again. I hope both can trust themselves and the other to open up. I have also read both parts in one seating and I’m looking forward to what happens next.
- Never and Always Touching and Touched, a Cantrell: The Early Years, Part Four UpdatePicking up from where the last update left off . . .Streaking through the universe at Warp Factor Three, the Enterprise was well on its way toward the scheduled rendezvous site. That thought alone had Brianna’s stomach in a knot, which began with the captain’s initial announcement to the crew early this morning, until the knot grew into butterflies beating her relentlessly.Soon, she would meet her moderator, officially, and be pressed into service for the upcoming mission. Am I up to it? she wondered, glad that Spock was here keeping her company, helping to stave off the dreaded loneliness of her more than a mindmeld, less than a bondlink status with him. Just being with him eased her fears, as it always did. Either way, she still had a decision to make.To serve him tea or not, indicating her willingness to honor the marriage contract. If he accepted the cup from her, things would go forward as planned. She did hope to have an earnest talk with him, first, however. She needed to know just why he left her, and why he had reached out for her again so very suddenly?Leaving her completely confused. Her father offered one reason, while her almost bondmate’s behavior offered her something else. Why? Why did you leave like you did? She needed to understand. Certainly, she felt affection from him during their visits. Did sense it, even now? With his shields firmly intact, it was hard to read him, hard to tell what he was really feeling. It would be so easy for her to give into her own sentiments toward him, but was it wise?She stole a sidelong glance at the Vulcan. Spock was everything he presented himself to be all those times they connected in their dreams. At least when they connected metaphysically, she no longer suffered the pain of being abandoned, as it were. Bad break-up. Fearing he would simply up and leave her again, she found herself wanting to welcome him back with open arms. Wondering, too, why she found herself challenging him tonight. This is my chance to set things straight.He was correct, her struggle was far too apparent to ignore. She had to tell him. This particular stretch of the corridor was mostly deserted, ship’s night, the lights were low, lending itself to a sense of privacy. Glad that he reached over and took her hand in his as they walked along. A shock of adrenalin shot through her, that obnoxious cavern gone, that quickly, warmed by his physical touch. “I’m just a little afraid of what lies ahead, sir, is all. Decisions that have to be made. I mean, I used to believe in faerie tales …” she said, “but not anymore.”"And what happened that made you change your mind?” Spock asked, unconsciously, giving her hand a slight squeeze. Brianna glanced at their hands, intertwined, suppressing a grin, grateful for the physical contact. She returned the squeeze. “Real life … it’s sometimes harsher than expected.”“It is, indeed, Lieutenant.”They stopped before a set of doors, the portals were hexagonal in shape. All was darkened inside. They had reached the Forward Observation deck. Opening the door, he gestured her inward, realizing their conversation was highly personal and needed to be held in private. The lights rose to ships' night. Spock closed the door softly behind them. Brianna gravitated to the ancient ships’ wheel, stood before it, admiring it, he supposed. I imagine it appeals to the archaeologist in you.Getting her brimming emotions back in check she turned toward him, and continued her thoughts, “Unexpected events … occur and then all at once your whole world implodes.”Spock nodded in agreement, “Taking with it your happily ever after.”“Yes, and all that you anticipated, all that you were working toward just … evaporates. And you find yourself … alone. Hideously —”“— Painfully alone.” He said, taking a seat on the faux leather sofa on the portside of the deck. Patting the empty spot next to him, he gazed at her steadily. She moved forward and sat down next to him.“Yes. Forgive me,” she said, backing away from the subject, aware she was missing her opportunity to divest herself of her greatest concern, afraid that when it came down to it, he would confirm her doubts, that he might ask to be released. What if this whole thing was merely a charade? That he didn’t want her, after all. and his attempt at restoring the honor he cost his family was just that? Both of their actions were pretty reprehensible, she admitted.“Negative,” he said, suddenly, "The fault is mine."He closed the gap between them on the sofa, gazed into her eyes, “Please forgive me for leaving you so egregiously like that. I was censured for touching you so deeply as I did. My request to meet you summarily denied. I wasn’t to pursue it by order of the High Council. I didn’t want to leave you. I never meant to leave you. And tomorrow we shall both come before T’Pau and our Fate sealed. I would know, if I may, will you seek Ku’nut or Kali’fee?” Spock waited for her answer, saw the conflict in her features. The dark cloud hovering over her, regretting his question. How is it I just keep stepping all over you?
“Marriage or Challenge,” she began, calmly. Too calmly. “I would ask you one question before I answer yours. “Tell me, why did you linger in my consciousness for so long if you never intended — you never asked for my hand— were you toying with me? That’s what some say. Are you still toying with me?"
“Madam, I —” Spock said, quietly. “My leaving wasn’t intentional, I just told you.”
"A lie?” she gazed at him hard. “What do you mean by that? I may be young and naive, but I’m not stupid. I have to go,” she said, abruptly. She jumped up from the sofa, ready to retreat. “I have to get off of this seesaw. I just can’t do it anymore; it’s ripping me to shreds!” With that she headed toward the door.“Brianna-Kam, I would speak with you,” Spock said, using his command voice. She stopped and turned back to glance at him. Spock softened his voice, “before we take tea, tomorrow.”“Don’t you mean, if we take tea?” She threw her arms out from her sides, “Oh, for crying out loud, sir! What more is there to say? I know you don’t want me —”“Not want you?” Spock was stunned, he never meant to leave her with that impression, his worst nightmare realized. “Is that what you think?”“You’ve made it all too clear, sir. But, thanks to that happy little signed parchment, by our fathers, I just don’t have the right to refuse you at this time.” She put up her hand, seeing he was about to argue the point.“Oh, I know, I could refuse the contract by not serving you tea and all. But then you might get the mistaken impression I was going to call for Challenge. I can’t do that, either. I have no desire for someone to die on my behalf. That would be unconscionable. And certainly, I don’t wish for you to perish. I’m just so confused by it all. And I need time to think. Far be it from me to be your ‘ball and chain’. That’s not what I want, either. I just know I can’t force you against your will. What kind of a marriage would that be? If I could turn back time ...I’m so sorry. So very sorry for all of this.”“Obviously I have killed whatever we had between us. Perhaps, that was the intent behind the censure, to guarantee an end to it. Have you sought your Champion then?”Taking a few steps closer to him she said, “I hope you didn’t twist an ankle jumping to the Isle of Conclusions like that.”In gazing at her he was nearly relieved. She was grinning impishly. To abate the renewed pain, he reached over and held her by her shoulders, gazing at her steadily. "An odd reference, madam.”“Phantom Tollbooth,” she said. “A chapter title in the very charming children’s classic. You made it in the blink of an eye. To answer your second question, I have not sought a Champion. My father, however, did intimate to me, the evening he gave me the news and handed over my scroll, he had another ace up his sleeve. Should I need it, I was simply to let him know and he would put it into action. I do wish now he had revealed just what it was.”“You may find solace in the fact that your father recently came before the High Tribunal and rescinded his objection to our meeting in an effort to remove the Stay on our meeting.”“Tribunal? Oh, we really did cross a line, didn’t we?”“Others had it in mind to bond with you. Our untimely encounter essentially put an end to the hopes of several First Sons of the Noble Houses. My needs were also set aside.”“Actually, Daddy burned all of their petitions. I was so vexed at him when he told me. All I could think of is that by some chance your bid was also incinerated. Apparently, you never even asked. And now I know why. Oh, Daddy really is leaving all of this up to me. He did tell me to trust my instincts . . .”Drawing her in closer, Spock murmured into her ear, “What are your instincts telling you?”“Immaterial, I need to know what you want,” she said. Gazing up at him, he leaned into her and lightly pressed his lips against hers. “I want you to come to me. Willingly.”She nodded. “You certain?”“Affirmative. I love you, Brianna-kam and I am surprisingly pleased to tell you so.”“I love you, too” she breathed. “How do you like your tea?”All for now. Thanks for reading!Author’s Note: This is a mixture of old and new. I seriously edited the remainder of chapter 19, of volume two taken from my published works, Night Whispers: The Deception. Thank you.It is good that now after a long time they have declared their love for each other. 🙂
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