Diminish the Torment Legacy Challenge- Rules and LP

I've been pregnant three times before, so the fourth one gave me really no surprises. Belly getting bigger, making everyday chores harder. Exhaustion, embarrassment, flashes of overt confidence and crushing doubts. Trying to be a good parent, and still demanding more and more assistance from Grant to care for Greyson and Gil.
And then it was finally go time. The usual trip to the hospital. Waiting at the reception, floaty feelings in the delivery room.
Until finally the doctor announced - you have a baby boy!

...
Another boy!

What a twist of fate. I was hoping to have a daughter. After three boys I should have had finally a girl.
Well, no. No baby-girls for you, Gita! But hey, here you go - have two boys instead!

I named them Kirk and Samir.
Samir was a quiet baby. Kirk cried for the both of them.

Once more I was happy I could rely on Grant to help me. I think I've used him more as a babysitter then I should. He was complaining about it the other day. To my shame, I didn't pay much attention. Babies were crying and I had no patience to deal with the mood swings of a teen.
I tried to apologize later, but now it was my turn to be ignored. I just hope that once the twins get bigger and require less attention I can try to build a better relationship with Grant again.
I know it's not fair to put so much pressure on him just because he's the oldest. Feeding the babies, changing diapers, now potty training. He complains every now and then but still does everything that's expected of him. It's a good thing Kirk is more of an independent nature. And Samir is such a charmer, so no one can say no to him. Not even Grant at his grumpiest.

https://i.imgur.com/MSihyRd.jpg

I've had so many kids in a row that I was starting to forget what it felt to be a woman. Especially since Gabriel died, I have been only a mom. So, I was eager to go out, when Herman invited me to hang out and I could go alone.
The address he gave me was in Sulani, but I didn't think much of it. We had a lovely walk on the beach. He was funny and nice and made sure I got home safe after our walk. I think I fell for his charms.. or just wanted to feel alive, to have an adventure. It shouldn't make me blush, it was just a little woohoo. That was all that happened. Just a woohoo.

Or so I thought.
I've had 5 kids. I should have known better.
A little woohoo is enough when you're not careful.
I'm pregnant again.

Herman was so happy about it. He's going to be a father, something he had always hoped for. Something his wife...
Wife? I asked.
Oh, we're not living together, he replied. But Karissa never understood him like I did, he said. She never approved his love for the creatures and the nature.

He went on and on how I've made him the happiest man and how unhappy he was in his marriage and that he'll provide for his kid. It'll be great, his job pays well.
His job?
Yeah, he's actually a salaryperson at Farseer Data Corporation. No worries, he can afford to pay for anything I desire.

When he left that afternoon I let him kiss me on the cheek. He seemed to want more, a loving embrace, a passionate kiss. All I wanted was to scream and push him away, but I felt powerless, just hollow inside.
The whole evening I tried to figure out, how did I manage to get in to such a mess. I'm not interested in having a relationship with a married man. He never mentioned anything about having a wife and it never occurred to me to ask. A creature keeper living in the woods, not a female in sight. Except he doesn't live in that cozy cabin, he lives in a charming beach house in Sulani. And he has a wife and a corporate job.

And now I'm having his child. What a dumpster fire!

It was just perfect when that same evening a handsome young man named Caleb knocked on the door and got set in flames by the specters. Such a fabulous sign from the universe.
Grant extinguished the flames. Caleb was thankful. But we didn't invite him in. For all I could care that moment, I would let any man showing up at my front door just burn to death.
I know that Caleb guy, or any guy for that matter, didn't deserve my contempt just because I was so careless with Herman. I probably shouldn't be so harsh on myself either.
I was just so ashamed. I still am.
https://i.imgur.com/CPw8U6o.jpg

What am I going to do? I feel too proud to accept any help from Herman, but how am I going to manage all on my own with six kids?