Forum Discussion
5 years ago
@_sims_Yimi OK, I'm all caught up so let's get into all this goodness~
Sorry if this is a huge barrage of thoughts! I have a lot of feelings about your wonderful story :love:
Spoiler
GENERAL
- Cats or dogs?
This is such a hard question! I'm more naturally into cats because I'm just a cat person through and through, but I actually currently only have a doggie and no cats. When I'm at my parents' home I love being with their cat, but at my own home in France I only have a doggo that I'm 100% in love with. It was so hard for me to consider getting a dog because I'm not a dog person per se, but I can't imagine not having my lil' Pickle Princess nearby (my dog's name is Pickle, haha). So maybe I'm not really a dog person... but more a Pickle person? :tongue:
What are your general thoughts on the story so far?
I tend to gush about your story in comments on your blog and in your thread, but really, it's that good. All the different elements of the story come together so well. The writing, the story plot itself, the character development, THE FLAWLESS IMAGES, everything. You weave all these elements together with mastery to create an immersive story that I'm really, truly enjoying so far.
WRITING
- What do you think of my writing style? Are the sentences clear? Too short? Too long? Am I saying the same words repeatedly?
I enjoy your writing style very much. To me, the way you write is very effective for the story you're telling. Even though I'm only reading and not hearing it, it's like I'm hearing someone tell me an epic story. The sentences are clear, your paragraphs are well-written, and I don't think I've noticed any of them being too long or too short. I usually go back and read a chapter twice before commenting, but it's never because any part of the story was unclear in your writing. I also haven't noticed any sort of repetitive language because you have and utilize a very large vocabulary. You're very good at writing and that makes the story a very satisfying read.
- I sometimes switch between points-of-view as the story is going on. Is this confusing to read? Should a writer stick with one pov, or is it all right to peek into multiple people's heads in the same chapter? What do you think?
I don't think that a story should necessarily only focus on one POV in a chapter. More often than not, only having information from a single character makes the story feel slightly shallow (not always, but in many cases). I haven't felt that in ToC. There are some chapters where you focus on a single character but also add thoughts and POVs from other characters and this fleshes out the story and makes it more interesting for me. I don't think it's confusing at all, you present it in such a way that it makes the story intricate, but your writing is so clear and expressive that it's never confusing for me when you switch to another character's POV. I particularly love when you give minor characters moments to shine (like, the iconic section in 1.6 where poor Sarah is excited for her night only to have to cancel it because of Arthur's shenanigans... that was amazing and a very welcome humorous section in the story). Without this, I think the story would be less immersive for me. I want to feel like I'm a part of the universe, and having thoughts from an array of characters makes this easy!
- My chapters tend to hover around 3,000 words, with some longer and some shorter. What do you think about the length? I sometimes have trouble hitting the right story beats with fewer words per chapter, but I realize that too long a chapter can overstay its welcome.
I am NOT the one to discuss chapter length, because my "episodes" tend to be behemoths and I'm obviously not very good at having the restraint to make them shorter or divide them into shorter parts. However, I will say that I've never felt that your chapters are too long. More often than not, I think to myself "no! it's over already??", and this is because you have just the right amount of story in your chapters. The length for me is irrelevant because the story contained in each chapter is well structured, detailed, and developed.
STORY
- What do you think about the main characters (Arthur, Gawain, Morgana)?
I could spend hours discussing why I think each of the main characters is excellent. They each have their moments, and you've taken great care to make sure they're detailed and deep characters. As I said before, I was familiar with their names because of the legends but I've never taken the time to read almost anything about them, and yet now I feel like their stories ARE the ones you tell.
Here's what I think about the characters individually: Morgana is a very sympathetic main character. I love her spirit, and I think she's an excellent heroine for the story. I particularly love seeing that you've not held back on detailing her emotions about the things that happen. I particularly love that her naturally inquisitive nature and desire to help and know about things that affect her can and most likely will lead her into very difficult situations (spying on Richard, helping Merlin escape, investigating the May Day incident), but she's been developed so fully in these chapters so far that I can't help but cheer her on even when it's obvious that she's going to get in trouble. I'm also very excited to see what's going to happen in the future with her powers. Gawain, well, he's the best boy and I love him. He's naturally a very positive character because he provides a good insight into the things that the "powerful" characters are lacking, mainly empathy, humility, certain everyday skills, etc. It's so easy to root for him because the things he does are motivated by a desire to better himself and not by greed, envy, pride, or anything of the sort. I love him! Finally, Arthur... well, it's no secret that I was not a fan for a while, but you've done a wonderful job of humanizing him and making me feel.... sympathy?!... for Arthur?! Yes, he's snooty, vain, and insufferable, but you've shown us that he's also not infallible; his greed has gotten him into very difficult situations (the poisoning), plus he's insecure and more than a little concerned that he's not perfect. I think his relationship with Gawain is going to help a lot, though I can imagine that it's going to be difficult for him to truly tone down his unsavory tendencies. But it can happen, and I believe it because he's well-written!
Side-note, but I adored his little interview with the Watcher. I loved that. He's a little snot-nosed cretin but in such a human and vulnerable way, we love to see it.
- What do you think about the side characters (Uther, Richard, Gaius)?
They're not as fleshed out as the main characters, obviously, but I still feel like we've gotten nice windows into their minds and motivations. Well, mostly. Some of them remain mysteries because the story dictates it, but that's what I love about a good epic story. We know a lot about everyone but there are always more mysteries to uncover. You give us just enough about the side characters to keep us guessing about where the story could go. It's excellent.
Here are some brief thoughts about the side characters so far:
-Uther: I can see where Arthur got most of his unsavory traits. He's insufferable, but also human and I can't help but feel a little sympathy for him, especially when he talks about Ygraine and when he interacts with his children.
-Agravaine: I'm excited to see what his role will be in the story. So far he hasn't had much of a role, but I just know you're setting something up and it's going to be exciting.
-Gaius: I like his role in the story so far, and I was happy to learn about his stance on magic. I wonder if his knowing about Morgana's powers is going to come up later.
-Ygraine: I want to know more about her! Uther's flashbacks were a highlight of the story for me, and I want to know more about Ygraine!
-Richard: Snot-nosed little s***. But interesting.
-Merlin: (Is he a side character? I feel like eventually he's going to be a main character but for now his role isn't too developed) Again, I want to know more! I can't wait for he and Morgana to grow up and find each other again. I want to know what's happened to him so far.
-Helios: Dark, mysterious, and handsome... I'm excited to see what his spying will lead to.
-Sarah: Iconic. I stan.
- What is your favourite moment in the story, and what is your least favourite? Why?
If I had to choose a moment that made me laugh, and you can guess, it's Sarah's little section in 1.6. I just really, really love side characters getting humorous little moments like this, and that was wonderful. Stan Sarah! But if I had to choose a moment that is relevant to the main plot, I think I have two that are related to each other: first, when Arthur's greed leads him to get poisoned by eating the honey cake. I think having such a horrible consequence by indulging this flaw was instrumental in me turning my opinion about Arthur around. Second moment: when the hints about Morgana being magical are confirmed when she breaks the curse in Arthur. That was exciting and suspenseful, a really great moment in the story.
Least favorite? I guess I'd have to choose this one, not because it's a bad moment in the writing because it's not, it's fantastically written, but because it was difficult to read. When Gawain is willing to fight to the death against the shady man kidnapping Morgana, that was so hard to read! It was exciting and powerful, but I was horrified that it seemed that Gawain was going to die at the hands of this evil man. Calling it my least favorite makes it sound like I don't like that section of the story, but I absolutely do, so this might be a useless answer :tongue:
- Where do you think the story is headed? Where would you like to see it go?
I think there's so much still to learn. In only seven (eight? Including the prologue) chapters you've set up so many mysteries that have yet to unfold. I'm up to 1.7, and the amount of plot yet to happen has me all abuzz with excitement. The things I'm most excited about: Morgana's storylines involving spying on Richard of Nemeth, the development of her powers, and her investigation of the May Day incident; Arthur and Gawain's unfolding friendship; and Merlin's eventual return. As to what I think will happen, and this is just guessing, but I'm pretty sure Morgana is going to be horrified about what she's going to find out in her investigation of Ada's death, and this revelation is going to get her in big trouble and she's going to have awful thoughts about her father. I can imagine Arthur and Gawain are going to have very difficult moments in the future, as well. It can't all be flowers and cakes and bunny carvings, and even though they're slowly getting to like each other (as much as Arthur denies it), they're massively different and this is going to lead to lots of tension.
Where would I like to see it go? Honestly @_sims_Yimi I couldn't answer this truthfully, because I'm truly on the ride that your story has me on, and while I anticipate and expect some things to happen, I don't particularly have any desires about where I want the plot to go. This is to say, I'm under your spell and I'm just dying to learn more about the story you are telling.
VISUALS
- What do you think about the pictures taken? I have a habit of showing close-ups to showcase their emotions. Are they too close, or do you like them this way?
No, no, no. They are not too close! I love them. I think the variety of shots you have really showcases the visual beauty of the story you're telling. I can't compliment you enough on the quality of your visual storytelling; even though your story would still be excellent without any sort of visual aid, the images are lush, detailed, dark when they need to be, and beautiful. I haven't thought for a second that any images are unnecessary.
- What do you think about the size? They're now 1200 x 675, and 1100 x 612 in the next chapter. Are they too big?
When I'm on your blog they're quite large but this doesn't bother me at all. When I'm in the Wordpress reader they're scaled down anyway, so the size of your images is fine. In fact, having them be so large really helps if at any point I want to zoom in to see the details in the background, and since your sets are so detailed this happens quite frequently, so the large size is actually helpful.
- In TS3, we could tilt the camera to give dynamic angles to our pictures. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do that in TS4. Did they remove the option?
I can't really answer this, but when I take screenshots I use the Tab mode, + or- to zoom in and out, Q and E to go up and down, and then the mouse to change the angle, and this works pretty well for me to find some dynamic angles for my screenshots. Not that I think your pictures aren't dynamic, because they totally are.
- For purposes completely unrelated to the story *cough* I need magic. All the magic. Do you have any good CC for visual effects? Alternatively, is it worth buying the Realm of Magic game pack?
This I definitely cannot answer! I don't use magic in my game, sadly. My Sims game has been fully consumed with my story and since that's based on "reality" I haven't played around with magic yet. Your story makes me really itch to play something more fantastical, though...
MISC
- The white pose statue and I are at war after I spawned him at the bottom of a pond by accident and forgot about him for a week. He has sworn watery revenge. I need allies. Are you with me, or against me?
I am completely with you. That statue needs to be knocked down a few pegs! Down with the statue!
- I like having my cast comment on things out-of-story. If you want, you can ask questions of them, and I'll write the answer from their POV (they may not be completely truthful, though :wink: )
Oooooh, I love this. Especially seeing since Arthur's answer special was so beautifully done! Let's see:
Morgana: what do you think you'll learn from your various investigations (into Richard, the May Day incident, etc.)? Do you really think you should be opening those cans of worms? Where do you think Merlin is? Do you think magic is truly bad or are you only afraid of your powers because of your father's stance on them? And finally, are you going to give our girl Sarah some more time off? Girl needs it! (kii at these basic questions, but I just had to ask~~)
- Cats or dogs?
This is such a hard question! I'm more naturally into cats because I'm just a cat person through and through, but I actually currently only have a doggie and no cats. When I'm at my parents' home I love being with their cat, but at my own home in France I only have a doggo that I'm 100% in love with. It was so hard for me to consider getting a dog because I'm not a dog person per se, but I can't imagine not having my lil' Pickle Princess nearby (my dog's name is Pickle, haha). So maybe I'm not really a dog person... but more a Pickle person? :tongue:
What are your general thoughts on the story so far?
I tend to gush about your story in comments on your blog and in your thread, but really, it's that good. All the different elements of the story come together so well. The writing, the story plot itself, the character development, THE FLAWLESS IMAGES, everything. You weave all these elements together with mastery to create an immersive story that I'm really, truly enjoying so far.
WRITING
- What do you think of my writing style? Are the sentences clear? Too short? Too long? Am I saying the same words repeatedly?
I enjoy your writing style very much. To me, the way you write is very effective for the story you're telling. Even though I'm only reading and not hearing it, it's like I'm hearing someone tell me an epic story. The sentences are clear, your paragraphs are well-written, and I don't think I've noticed any of them being too long or too short. I usually go back and read a chapter twice before commenting, but it's never because any part of the story was unclear in your writing. I also haven't noticed any sort of repetitive language because you have and utilize a very large vocabulary. You're very good at writing and that makes the story a very satisfying read.
- I sometimes switch between points-of-view as the story is going on. Is this confusing to read? Should a writer stick with one pov, or is it all right to peek into multiple people's heads in the same chapter? What do you think?
I don't think that a story should necessarily only focus on one POV in a chapter. More often than not, only having information from a single character makes the story feel slightly shallow (not always, but in many cases). I haven't felt that in ToC. There are some chapters where you focus on a single character but also add thoughts and POVs from other characters and this fleshes out the story and makes it more interesting for me. I don't think it's confusing at all, you present it in such a way that it makes the story intricate, but your writing is so clear and expressive that it's never confusing for me when you switch to another character's POV. I particularly love when you give minor characters moments to shine (like, the iconic section in 1.6 where poor Sarah is excited for her night only to have to cancel it because of Arthur's shenanigans... that was amazing and a very welcome humorous section in the story). Without this, I think the story would be less immersive for me. I want to feel like I'm a part of the universe, and having thoughts from an array of characters makes this easy!
- My chapters tend to hover around 3,000 words, with some longer and some shorter. What do you think about the length? I sometimes have trouble hitting the right story beats with fewer words per chapter, but I realize that too long a chapter can overstay its welcome.
I am NOT the one to discuss chapter length, because my "episodes" tend to be behemoths and I'm obviously not very good at having the restraint to make them shorter or divide them into shorter parts. However, I will say that I've never felt that your chapters are too long. More often than not, I think to myself "no! it's over already??", and this is because you have just the right amount of story in your chapters. The length for me is irrelevant because the story contained in each chapter is well structured, detailed, and developed.
STORY
- What do you think about the main characters (Arthur, Gawain, Morgana)?
I could spend hours discussing why I think each of the main characters is excellent. They each have their moments, and you've taken great care to make sure they're detailed and deep characters. As I said before, I was familiar with their names because of the legends but I've never taken the time to read almost anything about them, and yet now I feel like their stories ARE the ones you tell.
Here's what I think about the characters individually: Morgana is a very sympathetic main character. I love her spirit, and I think she's an excellent heroine for the story. I particularly love seeing that you've not held back on detailing her emotions about the things that happen. I particularly love that her naturally inquisitive nature and desire to help and know about things that affect her can and most likely will lead her into very difficult situations (spying on Richard, helping Merlin escape, investigating the May Day incident), but she's been developed so fully in these chapters so far that I can't help but cheer her on even when it's obvious that she's going to get in trouble. I'm also very excited to see what's going to happen in the future with her powers. Gawain, well, he's the best boy and I love him. He's naturally a very positive character because he provides a good insight into the things that the "powerful" characters are lacking, mainly empathy, humility, certain everyday skills, etc. It's so easy to root for him because the things he does are motivated by a desire to better himself and not by greed, envy, pride, or anything of the sort. I love him! Finally, Arthur... well, it's no secret that I was not a fan for a while, but you've done a wonderful job of humanizing him and making me feel.... sympathy?!... for Arthur?! Yes, he's snooty, vain, and insufferable, but you've shown us that he's also not infallible; his greed has gotten him into very difficult situations (the poisoning), plus he's insecure and more than a little concerned that he's not perfect. I think his relationship with Gawain is going to help a lot, though I can imagine that it's going to be difficult for him to truly tone down his unsavory tendencies. But it can happen, and I believe it because he's well-written!
Side-note, but I adored his little interview with the Watcher. I loved that. He's a little snot-nosed cretin but in such a human and vulnerable way, we love to see it.
- What do you think about the side characters (Uther, Richard, Gaius)?
They're not as fleshed out as the main characters, obviously, but I still feel like we've gotten nice windows into their minds and motivations. Well, mostly. Some of them remain mysteries because the story dictates it, but that's what I love about a good epic story. We know a lot about everyone but there are always more mysteries to uncover. You give us just enough about the side characters to keep us guessing about where the story could go. It's excellent.
Here are some brief thoughts about the side characters so far:
-Uther: I can see where Arthur got most of his unsavory traits. He's insufferable, but also human and I can't help but feel a little sympathy for him, especially when he talks about Ygraine and when he interacts with his children.
-Agravaine: I'm excited to see what his role will be in the story. So far he hasn't had much of a role, but I just know you're setting something up and it's going to be exciting.
-Gaius: I like his role in the story so far, and I was happy to learn about his stance on magic. I wonder if his knowing about Morgana's powers is going to come up later.
-Ygraine: I want to know more about her! Uther's flashbacks were a highlight of the story for me, and I want to know more about Ygraine!
-Richard: Snot-nosed little s***. But interesting.
-Merlin: (Is he a side character? I feel like eventually he's going to be a main character but for now his role isn't too developed) Again, I want to know more! I can't wait for he and Morgana to grow up and find each other again. I want to know what's happened to him so far.
-Helios: Dark, mysterious, and handsome... I'm excited to see what his spying will lead to.
-Sarah: Iconic. I stan.
- What is your favourite moment in the story, and what is your least favourite? Why?
If I had to choose a moment that made me laugh, and you can guess, it's Sarah's little section in 1.6. I just really, really love side characters getting humorous little moments like this, and that was wonderful. Stan Sarah! But if I had to choose a moment that is relevant to the main plot, I think I have two that are related to each other: first, when Arthur's greed leads him to get poisoned by eating the honey cake. I think having such a horrible consequence by indulging this flaw was instrumental in me turning my opinion about Arthur around. Second moment: when the hints about Morgana being magical are confirmed when she breaks the curse in Arthur. That was exciting and suspenseful, a really great moment in the story.
Least favorite? I guess I'd have to choose this one, not because it's a bad moment in the writing because it's not, it's fantastically written, but because it was difficult to read. When Gawain is willing to fight to the death against the shady man kidnapping Morgana, that was so hard to read! It was exciting and powerful, but I was horrified that it seemed that Gawain was going to die at the hands of this evil man. Calling it my least favorite makes it sound like I don't like that section of the story, but I absolutely do, so this might be a useless answer :tongue:
- Where do you think the story is headed? Where would you like to see it go?
I think there's so much still to learn. In only seven (eight? Including the prologue) chapters you've set up so many mysteries that have yet to unfold. I'm up to 1.7, and the amount of plot yet to happen has me all abuzz with excitement. The things I'm most excited about: Morgana's storylines involving spying on Richard of Nemeth, the development of her powers, and her investigation of the May Day incident; Arthur and Gawain's unfolding friendship; and Merlin's eventual return. As to what I think will happen, and this is just guessing, but I'm pretty sure Morgana is going to be horrified about what she's going to find out in her investigation of Ada's death, and this revelation is going to get her in big trouble and she's going to have awful thoughts about her father. I can imagine Arthur and Gawain are going to have very difficult moments in the future, as well. It can't all be flowers and cakes and bunny carvings, and even though they're slowly getting to like each other (as much as Arthur denies it), they're massively different and this is going to lead to lots of tension.
Where would I like to see it go? Honestly @_sims_Yimi I couldn't answer this truthfully, because I'm truly on the ride that your story has me on, and while I anticipate and expect some things to happen, I don't particularly have any desires about where I want the plot to go. This is to say, I'm under your spell and I'm just dying to learn more about the story you are telling.
VISUALS
- What do you think about the pictures taken? I have a habit of showing close-ups to showcase their emotions. Are they too close, or do you like them this way?
No, no, no. They are not too close! I love them. I think the variety of shots you have really showcases the visual beauty of the story you're telling. I can't compliment you enough on the quality of your visual storytelling; even though your story would still be excellent without any sort of visual aid, the images are lush, detailed, dark when they need to be, and beautiful. I haven't thought for a second that any images are unnecessary.
- What do you think about the size? They're now 1200 x 675, and 1100 x 612 in the next chapter. Are they too big?
When I'm on your blog they're quite large but this doesn't bother me at all. When I'm in the Wordpress reader they're scaled down anyway, so the size of your images is fine. In fact, having them be so large really helps if at any point I want to zoom in to see the details in the background, and since your sets are so detailed this happens quite frequently, so the large size is actually helpful.
- In TS3, we could tilt the camera to give dynamic angles to our pictures. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do that in TS4. Did they remove the option?
I can't really answer this, but when I take screenshots I use the Tab mode, + or- to zoom in and out, Q and E to go up and down, and then the mouse to change the angle, and this works pretty well for me to find some dynamic angles for my screenshots. Not that I think your pictures aren't dynamic, because they totally are.
- For purposes completely unrelated to the story *cough* I need magic. All the magic. Do you have any good CC for visual effects? Alternatively, is it worth buying the Realm of Magic game pack?
This I definitely cannot answer! I don't use magic in my game, sadly. My Sims game has been fully consumed with my story and since that's based on "reality" I haven't played around with magic yet. Your story makes me really itch to play something more fantastical, though...
MISC
- The white pose statue and I are at war after I spawned him at the bottom of a pond by accident and forgot about him for a week. He has sworn watery revenge. I need allies. Are you with me, or against me?
I am completely with you. That statue needs to be knocked down a few pegs! Down with the statue!
- I like having my cast comment on things out-of-story. If you want, you can ask questions of them, and I'll write the answer from their POV (they may not be completely truthful, though :wink: )
Oooooh, I love this. Especially seeing since Arthur's answer special was so beautifully done! Let's see:
Morgana: what do you think you'll learn from your various investigations (into Richard, the May Day incident, etc.)? Do you really think you should be opening those cans of worms? Where do you think Merlin is? Do you think magic is truly bad or are you only afraid of your powers because of your father's stance on them? And finally, are you going to give our girl Sarah some more time off? Girl needs it! (kii at these basic questions, but I just had to ask~~)
Sorry if this is a huge barrage of thoughts! I have a lot of feelings about your wonderful story :love:
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