The Freezer Bunny Club - A Reading Circle
The Freezer Bunny Club: A Reading Circle https://i.imgur.com/qBYoZ55.png Welcome to The Freezer Bunny Club! This reading circle is an open space for the members to share our stories and discuss...
Forum Discussion
@_sims_Yimi
Cats or dogs?
General Thoughts
What do you think of my writing style? Are the sentences clear? Too short? Too long? Am I saying the same words repeatedly?
I sometimes switch between points-of-view as the story is going on. Is this confusing to read? Should a writer stick with one pov, or is it all right to peek into multiple people's heads in the same chapter? What do you think?
My chapters tend to hover around 3,000 words, with some longer and some shorter. What do you think about the length? I sometimes have trouble hitting the right story beats with fewer words per chapter, but I realize that too long a chapter can overstay its welcome.
What do you think about the main characters (Arthur, Gawain, Morgana)?
What do you think about the side characters (Uther, Richard, Gaius)?
What is your favourite moment in the story, and what is your least favourite? Why?
Where do you think the story is headed? Where would you like to see it go?
What do you think about the pictures taken? I have a habit of showing close-ups to showcase their emotions. Are they too close, or do you like them this way?
What do you think about the size? They're now 1200 x 675, and 1100 x 612 in the next chapter. Are they too big?
In TS3, we could tilt the camera to give dynamic angles to our pictures. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do that in TS4. Did they remove the option?
For purposes completely unrelated to the story *cough* I need magic. All the magic. Do you have any good CC for visual effects? Alternatively, is it worth buying the Realm of Magic game pack?
The white pose statue and I are at war after I spawned him at the bottom of a pond by accident and forgot about him for a week. He has sworn watery revenge. I need allies. Are you with me, or against me?
I like having my cast comment on things out-of-story. If you want, you can ask questions of them, and I'll write the answer from their POV (they may not be completely truthful, though :wink:
I have some questions for you...
Cats or dogs?
Spoiler
At first I thought you were talking about The Sims 4 Cats and Dogs expansion... which I love... it's one of my favorites. That and Get Together just for Windenburg and clubs, which are surprisingly useful. I love cats. I'm a total cat lover. I have four fur babies of my own, 2 kittens under a year, and 2 adults that are about 2 1/2 years. Go cats!
Fun... this reminds me of an icebreaker.
Fun... this reminds me of an icebreaker.
General Thoughts
Spoiler
I'm writing a dissertation. No seriously, I am enjoying your story. Your characters are well-defined and I understand their basic motivations. I also love the build-up and the suspense of the mystery of the kidnapping and poisoning and the general politics behind the scenes.
What do you think of my writing style? Are the sentences clear? Too short? Too long? Am I saying the same words repeatedly?
Spoiler
I love your writing style. You are an entertaining writer, and there's so much depth to your worldbuilding and character development. I'm a huge fan of well-written dialogue and I find your writing clear and easy to understand, and your dialogue believable. I can hear Morgana's voice in my head when I read your story and I have an inkling of what Gawain and Arthur sound like also. I don't think you use too much repetition. If you did, I didn't notice.
I sometimes switch between points-of-view as the story is going on. Is this confusing to read? Should a writer stick with one pov, or is it all right to peek into multiple people's heads in the same chapter? What do you think?
Spoiler
I, for one, love it! I personally switch between POVs fairly regularly in my stories. I have a habit (others can whether it's bad or not) of caring too much for my side characters. I believe all Sims, regardless of who they are, deserve to have their story told. I spend a good bit of time developing each character's back story, personality, and voice and I can see you have too.
A writer should do what they feel inspired to write. I know there is some advice out there about writing for your audience, but you do need to be true to your style. The right audience will love it! If you want to write different perspectives, you should go for it!
I often switch POV when I'm stuck and experiencing writer's block. I used to just play the game when this happened and write the little side stories for myself, but then I realized it would be fun to share. In Kass's story (KCLKF), these side stories are called Interludes. They can theoretically be skipped by those readers who want to continue with the main story, but they are there if you want. In my Livin' A Simmin' Life story, they're called Side Tracks. I got the idea for those when I sent my protagonist and her spouse on a honeymoon and they took a train.
I also like to write interludes and side tracks when I feel another character has something important to say or deserves a moment to explain their side of the story. That's why I loved your chapter from Uther's perspective. It helped me understand where he was coming from as a king and a father and even a husband. It gave depth to his personality and meaning to his actions/choices.
A writer should do what they feel inspired to write. I know there is some advice out there about writing for your audience, but you do need to be true to your style. The right audience will love it! If you want to write different perspectives, you should go for it!
I often switch POV when I'm stuck and experiencing writer's block. I used to just play the game when this happened and write the little side stories for myself, but then I realized it would be fun to share. In Kass's story (KCLKF), these side stories are called Interludes. They can theoretically be skipped by those readers who want to continue with the main story, but they are there if you want. In my Livin' A Simmin' Life story, they're called Side Tracks. I got the idea for those when I sent my protagonist and her spouse on a honeymoon and they took a train.
I also like to write interludes and side tracks when I feel another character has something important to say or deserves a moment to explain their side of the story. That's why I loved your chapter from Uther's perspective. It helped me understand where he was coming from as a king and a father and even a husband. It gave depth to his personality and meaning to his actions/choices.
My chapters tend to hover around 3,000 words, with some longer and some shorter. What do you think about the length? I sometimes have trouble hitting the right story beats with fewer words per chapter, but I realize that too long a chapter can overstay its welcome.
Spoiler
I have epic long chapters too. I don't mind the length at all. I think it's perfect the way it is. The way I operate is I write until the chapter feels done. Sometimes I break chapters up into parts, but most of the time I leave my chapters long so the story flows better. I've tried the shorter chapter thing and it never seems to work for me.
What do you think about the main characters (Arthur, Gawain, Morgana)?
Spoiler
Gawain - I love Gawain. How could you not love him? He's got such a good heart and he's kind. He wants to protect his friends. He's courageous as he demonstrated going up against a full grown adult kidnapper. I'm enjoying his budding friendship with Arthur.
Morgana - I think we've spent the most time with Morgana. I love that she's a sorceress/spellcaster. She seems to care deeply about her family, particularly her brother, as demonstrated by her willingness to risk revealing her true nature to save his life. She also seems to care deeply about her friends as she demonstrates by helping Merlin escape and defending Gawain and asking her brother to train him. I like seeing the manipulative side of her. It gives her character so much depth and makes her intriguing.
Morgana in the Arthur legend is devious, but here you have written a complex, likable, realistic persona for her as a child, one capable of making adult decisions (even if she shouldn't have to as a child), one capable of commanding servants (and possibly armies) like she does with the spy, one capable of playing politics (like she does with Richard). She strikes me as someone who will do whatever it takes to protect those she cares for and loves, and her heart is in the right place, even if her methods are not. I like that her father takes her seriously and actually indulges her desire for a spy instead of treating her like someone who will marry the right person one day and look pretty.
Arthur - At first, he strikes me as a spoiled prince, but the more you write him, the more I like him. I think he is childish in a lot of ways, but I feel like that's acceptable since he is a child. At the same time, he's the crown prince so he does need to act responsibly. I was so worried for him with the poison and I'm glad Morgana saved his life. I also like how he chose to help Gawain after the other boy saved Morgana. I think this speaks to his character - that he can be kind and good to others around him. Same with his desire to get/make Morgana a gift.
I imagine the pressure of being the crown prince is difficult. Even if he isn't as shrewd as Morgana, I do think he's capable of playing politics as well, as demonstrated with how he speaks about the classes and the way things are in the kingdom. I look forward to seeing how his character develops.
Gawain - I love Gawain. How could you not love him? He's got such a good heart and he's kind. He wants to protect his friends. He's courageous as he demonstrated going up against a full grown adult kidnapper. I'm enjoying his budding friendship with Arthur.
Morgana - I think we've spent the most time with Morgana. I love that she's a sorceress/spellcaster. She seems to care deeply about her family, particularly her brother, as demonstrated by her willingness to risk revealing her true nature to save his life. She also seems to care deeply about her friends as she demonstrates by helping Merlin escape and defending Gawain and asking her brother to train him. I like seeing the manipulative side of her. It gives her character so much depth and makes her intriguing.
Morgana in the Arthur legend is devious, but here you have written a complex, likable, realistic persona for her as a child, one capable of making adult decisions (even if she shouldn't have to as a child), one capable of commanding servants (and possibly armies) like she does with the spy, one capable of playing politics (like she does with Richard). She strikes me as someone who will do whatever it takes to protect those she cares for and loves, and her heart is in the right place, even if her methods are not. I like that her father takes her seriously and actually indulges her desire for a spy instead of treating her like someone who will marry the right person one day and look pretty.
Arthur - At first, he strikes me as a spoiled prince, but the more you write him, the more I like him. I think he is childish in a lot of ways, but I feel like that's acceptable since he is a child. At the same time, he's the crown prince so he does need to act responsibly. I was so worried for him with the poison and I'm glad Morgana saved his life. I also like how he chose to help Gawain after the other boy saved Morgana. I think this speaks to his character - that he can be kind and good to others around him. Same with his desire to get/make Morgana a gift.
I imagine the pressure of being the crown prince is difficult. Even if he isn't as shrewd as Morgana, I do think he's capable of playing politics as well, as demonstrated with how he speaks about the classes and the way things are in the kingdom. I look forward to seeing how his character develops.
What do you think about the side characters (Uther, Richard, Gaius)?
Spoiler
Uther - Like I mentioned above, I loved his chapter. I felt like it gave depth to his character and explained his motivations. He definitely strikes me as a shrewd king, albeit paranoid. He also seems cruel at times like when he killed the sorceress.
He seemed to enjoy Morgana taking command of the spy, but I'm glad he indulged her instead of treating her as a frilly female. I like that he takes his daughter seriously. He seems like a good father, kind and indulging to his children. It was sweet when he sat on Arthur's bed and told the story of how he met his wife. He obviously loved Igraine very much and that love spills out for his children. He also wishes his children to be wise and to be on their guard when in the presence of other royalty. He doesn't shelter his children from politics, but actively encourages it. I have mixed feelings about that.
Richard - I think I made a comment about this over on the blog. He's either going to be an incredible foil to Morgana, possibly very dangerous, or he will be a strong ally. I have no clue how I feel yet about his "seeing through" Morgana. What else does he know?
Gaius - We haven't seen much of him, but I like his character. I'm grateful he decided to protect Morgana. She is the crown princess, but I think it's more than that. He obviously has a soft spot or a kindness toward sorcery, and views it as useful when his practical medicine fails. I look forward to learning more about him and I hope his choice to protect Morgana doesn't backfire on him.
Uther - Like I mentioned above, I loved his chapter. I felt like it gave depth to his character and explained his motivations. He definitely strikes me as a shrewd king, albeit paranoid. He also seems cruel at times like when he killed the sorceress.
He seemed to enjoy Morgana taking command of the spy, but I'm glad he indulged her instead of treating her as a frilly female. I like that he takes his daughter seriously. He seems like a good father, kind and indulging to his children. It was sweet when he sat on Arthur's bed and told the story of how he met his wife. He obviously loved Igraine very much and that love spills out for his children. He also wishes his children to be wise and to be on their guard when in the presence of other royalty. He doesn't shelter his children from politics, but actively encourages it. I have mixed feelings about that.
Richard - I think I made a comment about this over on the blog. He's either going to be an incredible foil to Morgana, possibly very dangerous, or he will be a strong ally. I have no clue how I feel yet about his "seeing through" Morgana. What else does he know?
Gaius - We haven't seen much of him, but I like his character. I'm grateful he decided to protect Morgana. She is the crown princess, but I think it's more than that. He obviously has a soft spot or a kindness toward sorcery, and views it as useful when his practical medicine fails. I look forward to learning more about him and I hope his choice to protect Morgana doesn't backfire on him.
What is your favourite moment in the story, and what is your least favourite? Why?
Spoiler
Oh I have many favorite moments. I enjoyed Morgana's banter with her father when playing the card game. I thought it was funny she beat him with the royal flush. I enjoyed Arthur attempting to "make" things for Morgana simply because Gawain unwittingly "dared" him to do so. It made for an amusing story, but also it shows Arthur does care and has a good heart and he tries. I enjoyed the tension/excitement of the kidnapping scene. The screenshots were beautiful and vivid, depicting the action. It also cemented my love for Gawain. The poor kid just wants to protect people. It's endearing.
Least favorite? Uther's cruelty in the opening scene when he kills the witch. Let me clarify. The scene catapults us into the action and is the catalyst for the story. It was well written. But it made my heart sad that he ignorantly cast aside magic/sorcery.
Pretty much any scene with Agravain. He is aggravating. Even his scene where he gives "good" advice to Arthur about not lying about oneself bothered me. More so about his character than the way you wrote him. I think he has too much power. I think he might be negatively influencing Uther and propelling the "hatred" against sorcerers. I think he isn't to be trusted. I also wondered if his whole speech about not lying about oneself as that is the worst thing one can do isn't tragic foreshadowing. Again, it's not my least favorite because it wasn't well written. More like I don't trust the man.
Least favorite? Uther's cruelty in the opening scene when he kills the witch. Let me clarify. The scene catapults us into the action and is the catalyst for the story. It was well written. But it made my heart sad that he ignorantly cast aside magic/sorcery.
Pretty much any scene with Agravain. He is aggravating. Even his scene where he gives "good" advice to Arthur about not lying about oneself bothered me. More so about his character than the way you wrote him. I think he has too much power. I think he might be negatively influencing Uther and propelling the "hatred" against sorcerers. I think he isn't to be trusted. I also wondered if his whole speech about not lying about oneself as that is the worst thing one can do isn't tragic foreshadowing. Again, it's not my least favorite because it wasn't well written. More like I don't trust the man.
Where do you think the story is headed? Where would you like to see it go?
Spoiler
So many things to resolve! I would love to see Arthur and Gawain's friendship blossom even more. I'd like to see Morgana learn more about the incredible powers she possesses.
I'm super curious and have all sorts of theories about the kidnapping and the poisoning. I could be completely off base, but I have a feeling they might have been instigated by two different people with two different motives. Kidnapping is very direct and obvious, whereas poison is deadly and effective, but more subtle and shadowy (and in essence, cowardly).
I have two theories about the kidnapping. One I mention in my answers below. The other? Merlin sent the kidnapper to save her! Haha... I could be totally and completely wrong, but she is a sorceress and the king (her father) has been putting them to death. On the other hand, the kidnapper was intent on killing Gawain, which does not soften me toward him, unless it was implied that he protect Morgana at all costs, even if it means eliminating witnesses. I don't know. The more I type, the more I realize that this is crazy conspiracy la-la land. :lol:
Poison, on the other hand, is an assault against the king, a desire to eliminate him. A rival? A political threat? Someone who was angry about his order to kill the witch? Or someone who wants to hurt him in retaliation for something done to them?
I'm super curious and have all sorts of theories about the kidnapping and the poisoning. I could be completely off base, but I have a feeling they might have been instigated by two different people with two different motives. Kidnapping is very direct and obvious, whereas poison is deadly and effective, but more subtle and shadowy (and in essence, cowardly).
I have two theories about the kidnapping. One I mention in my answers below. The other? Merlin sent the kidnapper to save her! Haha... I could be totally and completely wrong, but she is a sorceress and the king (her father) has been putting them to death. On the other hand, the kidnapper was intent on killing Gawain, which does not soften me toward him, unless it was implied that he protect Morgana at all costs, even if it means eliminating witnesses. I don't know. The more I type, the more I realize that this is crazy conspiracy la-la land. :lol:
Poison, on the other hand, is an assault against the king, a desire to eliminate him. A rival? A political threat? Someone who was angry about his order to kill the witch? Or someone who wants to hurt him in retaliation for something done to them?
What do you think about the pictures taken? I have a habit of showing close-ups to showcase their emotions. Are they too close, or do you like them this way?
Spoiler
I love your close-ups. I do think it's nice to see their emotions and it helps enhance the narrative. Honestly, I read the story/words first and then I go back and look at the pictures more closely.
What do you think about the size? They're now 1200 x 675, and 1100 x 612 in the next chapter. Are they too big?
Spoiler
I tend not to pay attention to the size. I do a lot of reading on my smartphone unless a picture is super detailed. Then I want to see it on my computer. I don't think I can give you good feedback on this. I know people say photos should be a certain size, optimized for your reader, but I honestly care little for specs and I don't want to take the time to fix them. That's probably a flaw on my part. :grimace:
In TS3, we could tilt the camera to give dynamic angles to our pictures. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to do that in TS4. Did they remove the option?
Spoiler
No clue! I am curious about this. I'll have to read others' responses next.
For purposes completely unrelated to the story *cough* I need magic. All the magic. Do you have any good CC for visual effects? Alternatively, is it worth buying the Realm of Magic game pack?
Spoiler
I love Realm of Magic. My next generation in my legacy story will take place in the Realm of Magic. There's also a lot of amazing CC out there. I've only recently downloaded a bunch of outfits, accessories, and enhancements for ROM. Depends on what you want. Having ROM would certainly help sell the credibility of Morgana as a sorcerer/spellcaster. It would allow her to learn different things in game. Plus the ROM realm is beautiful. It would be neat to see her travel there as a teenager or adult. I can look at what I have and get back to you.
The white pose statue and I are at war after I spawned him at the bottom of a pond by accident and forgot about him for a week. He has sworn watery revenge. I need allies. Are you with me, or against me?
Spoiler
Why was the statue at the bottom of a pond by accident? Haha. That's pretty sad. Poor statue. I love the watery revenge idea. It could be a whole story all in itself. Or at least a short. How the game rebels against the gamers! :lol: But I'm with you!
I like having my cast comment on things out-of-story. If you want, you can ask questions of them, and I'll write the answer from their POV (they may not be completely truthful, though :wink:
Spoiler
Oh I love this idea! How fun! Okay, I've got some questions...
Morgana, what is your favorite and least favorite thing about being a princess? When did you first learn about your spellcasting abilities and how do you feel about them? Feel free not to answer the last one if it isn't safe. How do you feel about the future of your kingdom? How did you and Merlin become friends? You and Gawain? Do you have personal goals, separate from your role as a princess? Okay now a silly question... I'll ask you, Morgana... Cats or dogs?
Arthur - What is your favorite and least favorite part about being a prince? How do you feel about being a crown prince and the responsibility that comes with it? Where do you see yourself in the future when you become king? If you could change one thing about the kingdom, what would it be and why? Do you remember your mother? If I'm remembering correctly, she died after giving birth to Morgana... but I could be confusing the legend and your story. What's your favorite sweet?
Gawain... you're so precious! How did you and Morgana become friends? What is behind your desire to protect people? Is something motivating you? How do you feel about the future of the kingdom? I now realize that last question is kinda heavy and I've asked that of all the children.
Uther - what is your favorite and least favorite part of being king? How about being a father? How do you see the future of your kingdom? Any politicking you care to share with the class - like some more context that Morgana and Arthur may not know or understand?
Agravain, why are you so aggravating? Jk... jk... okay, sort of serious. How did you come to be in your role? How do you like your role? Is there anything you dislike about your role?
Gaius - how did you know Millicent? Again if it isn't safe, feel free to decline to answer. Did you always know you wanted to be a physician? How did you end up in your role?
Richard - how do you like being a prince? Is he a crown prince like Arthur? What is your favorite pastime... beside spying on Morgana? Lol.
Morgana, what is your favorite and least favorite thing about being a princess? When did you first learn about your spellcasting abilities and how do you feel about them? Feel free not to answer the last one if it isn't safe. How do you feel about the future of your kingdom? How did you and Merlin become friends? You and Gawain? Do you have personal goals, separate from your role as a princess? Okay now a silly question... I'll ask you, Morgana... Cats or dogs?
Arthur - What is your favorite and least favorite part about being a prince? How do you feel about being a crown prince and the responsibility that comes with it? Where do you see yourself in the future when you become king? If you could change one thing about the kingdom, what would it be and why? Do you remember your mother? If I'm remembering correctly, she died after giving birth to Morgana... but I could be confusing the legend and your story. What's your favorite sweet?
Gawain... you're so precious! How did you and Morgana become friends? What is behind your desire to protect people? Is something motivating you? How do you feel about the future of the kingdom? I now realize that last question is kinda heavy and I've asked that of all the children.
Uther - what is your favorite and least favorite part of being king? How about being a father? How do you see the future of your kingdom? Any politicking you care to share with the class - like some more context that Morgana and Arthur may not know or understand?
Agravain, why are you so aggravating? Jk... jk... okay, sort of serious. How did you come to be in your role? How do you like your role? Is there anything you dislike about your role?
Gaius - how did you know Millicent? Again if it isn't safe, feel free to decline to answer. Did you always know you wanted to be a physician? How did you end up in your role?
Richard - how do you like being a prince? Is he a crown prince like Arthur? What is your favorite pastime... beside spying on Morgana? Lol.
I have some questions for you...
Spoiler
1. What made you decide to write about the Arthur legend in TS4? What inspired you? What about this story is different from the original legend? I can tell you what I see, but I'm curious about the author's perspective.
2. How do you develop your characters and your world? Do you keep notes? Do you outline? Do you do character sketches? How do you plan your worldbuilding or does it just happen in story?
3. How much of the game influences your writing? Are there things that happen in game that you decide to include in story? Or is the game just a tool to tell the story for you? Do you use custom traits for your Sims? I think I noticed it and wondered in the character bios.
4. What about Igraine? Will we learn what happened to her?
5. In the original Arthur legend, Igraine is the mother of Arthur by Uther, but the mother of Morgana by Gorlois. Does this mean that Morgana isn't Uther's biological daughter in your story? Or that Gorlois hired the kidnapper to bring Morgana, his daughter, back? Does this explain what happened in the month of May ten years ago when Morgana was a child? I realize you might not want to answer these questions yet or you'll eventually reveal more in story and that's fine. I can wait, I think... haha! :grimace:
6. Will we learn why Uther despises sorcery and magic? Was his wife killed by magic? Or was he betrayed by her magic? If my theory holds that she is a sorceress too...
1. What made you decide to write about the Arthur legend in TS4? What inspired you? What about this story is different from the original legend? I can tell you what I see, but I'm curious about the author's perspective.
2. How do you develop your characters and your world? Do you keep notes? Do you outline? Do you do character sketches? How do you plan your worldbuilding or does it just happen in story?
3. How much of the game influences your writing? Are there things that happen in game that you decide to include in story? Or is the game just a tool to tell the story for you? Do you use custom traits for your Sims? I think I noticed it and wondered in the character bios.
4. What about Igraine? Will we learn what happened to her?
5. In the original Arthur legend, Igraine is the mother of Arthur by Uther, but the mother of Morgana by Gorlois. Does this mean that Morgana isn't Uther's biological daughter in your story? Or that Gorlois hired the kidnapper to bring Morgana, his daughter, back? Does this explain what happened in the month of May ten years ago when Morgana was a child? I realize you might not want to answer these questions yet or you'll eventually reveal more in story and that's fine. I can wait, I think... haha! :grimace:
6. Will we learn why Uther despises sorcery and magic? Was his wife killed by magic? Or was he betrayed by her magic? If my theory holds that she is a sorceress too...
