Can we fine tune the eating/seating behavior, please?

I don't have any problems with this. I just get a member of the family to set the table before meals, call for them to come and eat and they all sit round the table. Simple. It does help if you divert the family's attention to other things than the fridge whilst cooking meals. You can also use the command Sit together in dining out. No problem for me.

I do have all the packs with no mods though, so your experience may be different.