That's it! In the middle of a family wedding and all the phones ring about the death of some stall holder who lives in the jungle. Everyone is sad +3 for 2 days. So my solution is
this mod. It backs off the duration and intensity of the mourning for lesser relationships. No more sad for 2 days just because an acquaintance has shuffled off this mortal simcoil.
The mod seems to work but I would be greatful for testers and feedback. If anybody would like to test it for errors and function please have a go with it.