How do you get a neglected child back?

I'm hoping the don't save trick works. I've been in the game this morning and left it open. It's such a sad tragedy for this family. Mother drowned after doing a cannonball in the pool. I made her fulfill a whim but didn't notice how tired she was. She was "happy" so I sent her out to have fun in the pool. I killed her. She had triplets, a toddler, and a child and she must have just been deeply exhausted. So today they took all three babies. The nanny and the father were there and I even had a mod to make the nanny ignore tv and actually do her duties. Father has been passing out all over the place. The oldest is still so sad it makes me cry. I want to get the mommy back but I don't think she would have the memory of her husband and kids. How does that work? Where is the mommy now? I wasn't looking when she died (helping with triplets) and couldn't see the pool. She was already in the urn so I put it in the child's inventory. Ghost mother called daughter and wanted to see her at a night club. What's with that? Does that mean she will haunt the kids?
I'm new to Sims, if you hadn't figured that out yet. :D I briefly played the first game when my kids were little and I've played the Freeplay game.
I really liked that family and I just want them back! :'(