I can cope with eight, although I don't always go that far. I guess I just like playing with big families. Yeah toddlers can be hard to handle, but I actually find them easiest in Sims 4, where they can grab their own plate of food, or put themselves to bed.
I don't also go out that often with my Sims; when I do it tends to just be one Sim. My Sims don't go on dates that often. I think you can click on the greyed-out icon and have them take care of needs or work on skills. If they don't get stuff done, it's not a big deal to me personally, but I can see why it would be.
