It's not abuse unless you make it so. Here's an example: I'm playing an overweight female sim with low self esteem. Her boyfriend is mean and hot-headed. One day, I made her kiss and hug him passionately and he immediately responded by attacking her. (Autonomously; I was shocked by his response.) Once the shock wore off, I clicked on him again and saw "Apologize." My jaw dropped. I thought, "Oh my god. This is a textbook abusive relationship." (To be clear, she was apologizing to him.) It doesn't mean that's what EA intended, but I am grateful because now I have a story lined up where she becomes rich and famous, loses weight, dumps his ass and never looks back.
As others have said, it's an option. You don't like it, so don't use it.
