I share you sentiments as well most of the time. I started becoming a rotational player as some households would just freeze and lag so you can even play them at all at times. My main family in the new world has this problem. Sometimes I can play them a bit before the lag, sometimes immediately even when giving them the first interaction.
I combat this I went with the last ep release Love Struck I began putting my focus on building. Then I was confronted with a new bug, after three plus days of perfecting the Ophelia Villa, the lots has items disappearing and then when I try to drop it from the tray reload it all, and the entire house disappears.
So I went to my beloved favorite family and work in progress renovation at oakenstead lot and it was fine for one week, then same happened there. So I have moved to a new save with no cc to rebuild the Oakenstead with no cc, and I currently spending my weekend troubleshooting seeing how I can possibly transfer the lot from my tray to my main save. All kinds of work around but I never get to play with all these problems. Playing feels like all setting up and troubleshooting when they release new dlc.