I have to admit that, if I feel sims should be together, I alter their attractions to suit. So if my sim is married to a brunette artist I make sure they are attracted to brunettes who like artsy stuff. Even then, though, they can get a strained relationship.
I have a young couple in my rotation who are both heavily into music and art, met as children and (I feel) were destined to be together. But when they went to the same uni they always seemed to be strained and mean with each other. I kept at it and now they seem fine and their relationship has developed into a close one. But they've only been dating so far and are not married yet. It helped to have them flirting, kissing etc quite regularly.