You've already been given the advise I would give. I just feel for you that you are frustrated at this point.
Just wanted to say aren't alone .... it took awhile for me to realize where to gather the spores most efficiently. It helps too if you go in with a preplayed sim that has charisma or athletic skills or just the money to buy some sims off (for the scanner).
I think they left some things for us to find out on our own and that's good.. but it's also good that we have so many others that can help.
I still haven't fought the mother myself and am glad for all the advise I've seen so I'll go in prepared when I decide to battle her.
Now go in and kick some butt!