If you want butlers to go to bed, make sure you have a sim that has the piper trait. aquired with the music aspiration. I made him sleepy every night just by playing guitar, piano or violin. Make sure he's near though. I also closed off all doors of the bedrooms so he wouldn't swipe a million times of the computer desk and stare derply at his finger while my sims are asleep. I don't mind the autonomous cooking, I mean it's convenient because cooking takes time. I also put the globe bar in a bedroom so he wouldn't drink every few minutes.
I don't have him anymore because i found it extremely annoying that if my sim came home from work with his GTW job, a NEW butler is there. And ofcourse the new butler is always a klepto... :(