What is 'Realism' play for you?

I don't want to see grandma at the club. I don't want to see my loner sim at the parc. Why is my tatted up rebel sim studying at the library?! No stop doing that you weren't made with that kind of behavior in mind! I swear half my playtime is me raging about the sims I'm not playing. I wish you could set some rules for them and traits actually mattered. What type of lots they like or avoid, what kind of personality they have, etc (I don't have the pack with lifestyles so I don't know if that's what it does). Clubs help a little, but then again I can't even put a sim in a cooking club because all they'll do is cook and cook and cook for hours and hours and there's no more surface to put the food but oh no she's still cooking. I'm probably asking for too much but I hate how lifeless the sims are. I'm not immersed when I see 3 club members show up and do the actions like they go through a checklist. I wanna see cops at the bar playing games after work and get a few drinks, not get black out juiced at 9am on a tuesday. Why is this vampire at the beach? When I visit another lot and the same 5 sims follow me it's just weird (I use mods for that). This is what I mean by realism.