married sims won’t share a bed

i just made two new married sims, and they won’t sleep in the same bed.

i’ve tried changing the bed, removing everything in the room, moving the bed to a different room, and even changing lots to see if they’ll use a double bed somewhere else.

as soon as one of them sleeps in the bed, the option for the other sim to sleep disappears. the only options that show up are ‘nap’ ‘relax’ ‘sit’ pillow fight with…’ ‘cuddle in bed with…’ ‘assign side of the bed to…’ and ‘upgrade’

i am playing a modded game, but i haven’t had this issue until today and im not having the issue in other saves, so i don’t think it’s a mod issue.