Splash and Burn: Walkthrough
Summertime Blues, Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: It finally happened. Our team is good enough to fly across the country for.
Lenny: What about last year when we won the championship?
Homer: That was a fluke. Now that we're good again this season, it means we're actually good.
Carl: Yeah, last year came out of nowhere. It was like when Leicester City won the Premier League in 2016.
Lenny: We don't get your soccer references, Carl.
Carl: Sorry.
Intercom: We will begin the boarding process for Flight 196 to Boston shortly, starting with our Group One first-class passengers.
Lenny: Come on Carl, Group One — that's us.
Carl: Yeah, let's hit the fancy airport lounge before boarding starts!
Homer: What?! YOU guys are Group One?! FIRST CLASS?!
Lenny: Carl and I got upgraded.
Homer: But they only do that for newlyweds on their honeymoons and flight attendants on their off days!
Carl: Well, this time they did it 'cause we bought our tickets with points.
Homer: Points? That's it? I've got tons of those on my driver's license.
Lenny: No. Platinum Praetorian points.
Carl: *holding out thick metal credit card* We just got our credit cards in the mail — you get crazy benefits when you book flights.
Homer: But I want crazy benefits...
Lenny: Can't without the points.
Homer: Fine...
Task: Make Travelers Bump Into a Sad, Lonely Homer
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House
If the user has Lenny: Task: Make Lenny Drink Free Platinum Duff
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House
If the user has Carl: Task: Make Carl Get a Neck Massage
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Squeeze Into His Economy Middle Seat
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House
Homer: That was the worst trip ever! Stuck in stupid economy, while you guys got to experience all the travel perks known to man.
Carl: Look, Homer, I'll just send you my referral code, and you can apply for your own platinum card. That way you'll get a nice point bonus in time for your next trip.
Lenny: Carl just wants you to do that so he can get even more points for himself. Use my code instead!
Carl: No way! I brought up the referral code thing first!
Homer: I don't care about which code — send me both! Because I'm going straight home and getting myself a fancy Praetorian card!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Summertime Blues, Pt. 2
Auto starts
Lisa: Hi Dad, how was your trip?
Homer: No time! Must apply for credit card! *typing*
Computer: DENIED.
Computer: STOP APPLYING.
Computer: EVERY DENIAL IS FURTHER LOWERING YOUR CREDIT SCORE.
Homer: I guess I have to just keep applying... *typing*
Computer: APPROVED.
Homer: Woohoo!
Computer: JUST KIDDING — DENIED. ALSO, PLEASE STOP.
Homer: How come Lenny and Carl can get approved for fancy cards, and I can't?! We have the same job, and we even go to the same bar!
Lisa: Well, it does make some sense. Lenny and Carl don't have mortgages, they don't have kids, and they probably don't throw all their "past-due" bills in the garbage.
Homer: Stupid kids! Ruining my financial health!
Lisa: Dad, have you ever sat down and actually taken a look at your credit report?
Homer: No, I pay "Credit Nirvana" $29.99 a month to take a look for me.
Lisa: Well, after we see what's on there, maybe we can fix things. *typing*
Task: Make Homer Give Lisa His Credit Nirvana Password
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Lisa Log Into Homer's Credit Nirvana Account
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
If the user has Bart: Task: Make Bart Laugh at Homer's Password
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
Lisa: Voila! Here's your credit report, Dad.
Homer: AAAAH!
Lisa: Yeah, this is pretty unfixable.
Bart: Why do you have a Banana Republic credit card?
Homer: I don't know. All I wanted to do was walk in and buy a pair of pants! It's all I ever wanted...
Lisa: Wait, it says on the report that your spouse has a Platinum Praetorian Card and you're listed as an "Authorized User"!
Homer: What?! Marge, do we have a Platinum Praetorian Card?!
Marge: Of course, it's how we're able to afford and book all of our "Simpsons Go To" vacations.
Lisa: Our what?
Marge: You know, all the trips we go on: Brazil, Australia, Costa Rica, England, Tokyo, Italy, France, Ireland...
Homer: Woo-hoo! That means we must have millions of travel points by now!
Homer: Kids, where do you want to go to next? Because we're all flying first-class and getting free neck massages at the airport lounge!
Lisa: Ooh! We should go on an ecological tour of the Galápagos!
Bart: Fiji! No — the Bahamas! No — whatever the island Fortnite is based on!
Marge: Homer, I am not going to waste all of our points on first class tickets to some random island. I book our trips using a very specific and cost-effective system of well-timed deals and promos.
Homer: Okay, then where does your *air quotes* "system" think we should go?
Marge: *typing* Hmm, my system is only giving me two choices that we can currently afford...
Homer: *praying* Please be somewhere awesome. Please be somewhere awesome...
Marge: Our choices are...a Crypto Cruise around a floating server farm in the North Sea...
Lisa: Sounds like a scam.
Marge: Or...a three day stay at Mt. Splashmore Water Park & Resort.
Bart and Lisa: Water park! Water park! Water park!
Homer: But Mt. Splashmore is right outside Springfield — which means we wouldn't get to fly first-class or get free airport neck massages...
Bart and Lisa: Water park! Water park! Water park!
Homer: Fine, I'll get my swimsuit...
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lisa: Oh man, I'm so excited for Mt. Splashmore!
Bart: Me too! Especially since they bought the infamous Devil's Deluge water slide and made it twice as dangerous!
Lisa: They did what with who now?!
Bart: Lisa, The Devil's Deluge is only the most awesome and dangerous slide in the world. You even get to sign onto a class action lawsuit while you wait in line.
Lisa: It can't be that dangerous...
Bart: It was voted "America's Most Dangerous Water Slide" eight years in a row and recently earned Water Park America's "Deathtime Achievement Award".
Lisa: *worried gulp*
Marge: We're here!
Swimsuit Homer: Okay, have a good time kids! If you get injured, just make sure someone's filming it for the future lawsuit.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Bart Rush to the Devil's Deluge
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Lisa Question the Water Quality
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Homer Look for the Snack Bar
Time: 4h
Location: Fried Dough Stand, Hot Dog Cart, Hotdog Stand, Popcorn, Stand, Peanut Cart, Devil Donuts Cart, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Bart: Come on, Lis, the line for the Devil's Deluge is only two hours long!
Lisa: *super worried gulp*
Paul Flart: Hold it right there, spikey hair kid.
Bart: Me? Or my sister?
Paul Flart: You. *points at sign*
Lisa: *gasp* The dreaded "You must be THIS tall to go on this ride" sign!
Bart: Have I been standing in front of that this whole time?
Paul Flart: *points at Bart* You're too short to go on the Devil's Deluge.
Bart: No, I'm tall enough! Look! *stretches neck*
Paul Flart: Nope, short by an inch — and that's counting your hair points.
Bart: Come on! Make an exception just this once! Please!
Paul Flart: Nope!
Bart: What's your problem, dude? I mean, like who died and made you the Paul Blart of this water park?
Paul Flart: No one died. And the name isn't Blart, it's Flart. Paul Flart.
Bart: You're a lame security guard, and your name is one letter off from the mall cop in that Kevin James movie?!
Paul Flart: Hey! I didn't come up with the name, I was born with it! It was out of my hands!
Bart: Okay, Flart. But you best believe I'm getting on that super deadly slide.
Paul Flart: Don't even think about trying to sneak onto that slide, pal, because I got my eye on you.
Paul Flart: Plus, you're too short and might die if you go down it, which would be most unfortunate...
Bart: Well, you can EAT MY SWIMTRUNKS, Flart.
Paul Flart: Stop saying my name like that!
Bart: Whatever you say...FLART.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 2
Auto starts
Bart: Hey, Homer, I need your help distracting that water park cop weirdo.
Swimsuit Homer: Why would I help you do anything?
Bart: Please! All I need you to do is distract Flart so I can sneak onto the Devil's Deluge.
Swimsuit Homer: His name is Flart?! Oh my God, what a dumb name! Okay, I'll help.
Bart: That's all it took to convince you?
Swimsuit Homer: *shrugs* Hey, I'm a reasonable guy.
Bart: No, you're not.
Swimsuit Homer: WHY YOU LITTLE!
Bart: *getting choked* Case...in...point.
Swimsuit Homer: *lets go* Touché.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Homer Dance to Distract
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Try to Sneak Onto the Slide
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Block Bart
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Swimsuit Homer: Look at me, everyone! I'm dancin' in a swimsuit. *awkwardly dances*
Bart: I told Homer to distract the cop, not the entire water park!
Agnes: Shake it over here, baby! Momma's got a dollar bill ready to slip into those swim trunks.
Swimsuit Homer: Uh, that's not really necessary…
Agnes: Here's a twenty then. *grabs Skinner's wallet*
Skinner: Mother — that was all of my cash. How am I supposed to pay for lunch now?
Swimsuit Homer: *dancing* I hope my dancing doesn't distract anyone — especially any water park cops.
Bart: Okay, I think the coast is clear for me to sneak onto the Devil's Deluge—
Paul Flart: Not so fast!
Bart: Flart?! But you were supposed to get distracted by the dancing fat guy over in the lazy river!
Paul Flart: I knew you were going to try something like that. Which is precisely why I put the interns on drunk idiot duty.
Paul Flart: Can you believe we're allowed to still have interns? These kids think they'll actually get college credit for this...
Bart: *points* Whoa, is one of the interns doing a backflip off Mt. Splashmore Mountain?
Paul Flart: *turns around* I don't see anyone jumping—
Paul Flart: *turns back* Wait, where'd you go? Aw man, he tricked me!
Bart: *does a backflip off Mt. Splashmore Mountain* Smell you later, Flart!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 3
Auto starts
Milhouse: *blowing air into floaties* Ah man, there's a hole in my floaty...
Bart: Milhouse?! I didn't know you'd be in this update!
Milhouse: I wasn't supposed to be. I just happened to be at the water park today!
Bart: Well, I'm happy to see that you were included. And...since you're here, you've gotta help me sneak onto the Devil's Deluge.
Milhouse: I don't know, Bart. I usually stick to the less dangerous rides like "The Lazy Puddle", or "The Ankle Soaker" or "The SPF 60 Adventure..."
Bart: But those are rides for babies who wear water diapers!
Milhouse: *covering himself up* Yeah, you're right. Only babies wear water diapers — I'd never wear a water diaper...
Bart: Anyway, I was thinking we'd sneak onto the slide with the classic "two kids, one trench coat" trick.
Milhouse: That is a classic! But also a weird choice for a water park... You know, because why would anybody wear a trench coat at a water park...
Bart: ...
Milhouse: Sorry, I know it's not really my role to start poking holes in your plan. It's a great plan...great plan.
Bart: Just get on my shoulders and let's trick this water park Flart-wad!
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Bart Carry Milhouse
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Put On Their Disguise
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Be Suspicious
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Lisa Test the Park Water
Time: 4h
Location: Water Toads, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Milhouse: I say, good sir, may I get on that slide? I believe it's called the Devil's Deluge.
Paul Flart: Are you sure you don't want to take off your coat before going down the slide?
Milhouse: Uh, no, I need my coat because I'm from London and all Londoners wear coats!
Paul Flart: Are you okay? You're shaking all of a sudden, and kind of yelling at me for no reason.
Milhouse: I'm not yelling — you're YELLING. *trips and falls over*
Paul Flart: I knew you weren't a Londoner! You don't even have a British accent!
Bart: Great detective work, Flart.
Paul Flart: You two dummies are coming with me!
Bart: Instead of walking down all these stairs, wouldn't it be faster if we took the slide down?
Paul Flart: Hmm, that would be faster...
Paul Flart: Wait, you're trying to trick me again. I'm not falling for your—
Bart: *grabs inner tube* Milhouse, come on!
Bart: Milhouse?!
Milhouse: I can't! I'm too afraid to go down that slide!
Paul Flart: *grabbing Milhouse and Bart* That's it! I'm sending you two to the only place you can't escape in this water park!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 4
Auto starts
Bart: I can't believe we ended up in the water park's "Drunk Tank Dunk Tank".
Milhouse: Yeah, if you're going to put us in water park prison, it should at least match our crime. We're kids — and this place is filled with weird, smelly drunk people.
Barney: *belches* I'm not drunk. I just accidentally drank one of those floating chlorine thingies thinking it was a piña colada!
Sea Captain: Nor am I imbibed with the sirens' spirits! All I've got is a brief spell of scurvy and some light indigestion on account of my IBS!
Bart: Yeah, yeah, everyone in prison says they're innocent...
Kearney: *walking up* Whoa, "Drunk Tank Dunk Tank" — "dunk a drunk and win a prize". *throws ball*
Sea Captain: *falling into dunk tank* Arrrr, me wooden peg leg is not waterproof!
Jimbo: My turn! *throws ball* Got him!
Barney: *falling into tank* How is this legal?! *belches*
Milhouse: Bart, we need to get out of here before we start getting dunked! My floaty is out of air! I'll drown!
Bart: Relax, the moment Flart gets distracted, we're making a run for it.
Milhouse: Look, Lisa's walking up to Flart!
Lisa: Mr. Flart, you have to close the water park! We have an emergency situation.
Paul Flart: An emergency?! The kind where I need to run away and hide or the kind I can safely ignore?
Lisa: Can you safely ignore what may be the dawn of one of the greatest ecological disasters in human history?
Paul Flart: I'm guessing...no?
Lisa: Look at the results from these water tests I conducted!
Bart: Come on! Now's our chance.
Milhouse: But I wanted to see the water test results.
Bart: We will — after the quest objectives are completed.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Lisa Expose Tainted Water
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Make Excuses for Tainted Water
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Sneak Out of Water Park Jail
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Follow Bart Out of Jail
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Paul Flart: We're aware that bacteria is a thing, little girl. That's why we use whatever that chemical is that makes your eyes burn to keep everyone healthy.
Lisa: Look, I'm not talking about normal water park bacteria. The water quality here is so poor that you've managed to breed chlorine-resistant bacteria!
Paul Flart: Okay. And that's bad?
Lisa: It's an emergency!
Paul Flart: Okay, okay! Let me take the inmates out of the "bacteria" filled dunk tank, and then I'll call the top brass to get this sorted out.
Paul Flart: Wait, where'd they all go?
Sea Captain: Those two criminal cadets exited starboard and are headed north at fifteen knots.
Paul Flart: I know exactly where they're going...
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 5
Auto starts
Bart: Devil's Deluge, here we come!
Milhouse: But Bart, what about the attendant?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: *snoring*
Bart: You were saying?
Milhouse: Uh, look, Bart, you go ahead. That slide looks cool and all, but...but it's not safe.
Bart: Of course it's not safe, you big baby. That's the whole point!
Paul Flart: Hey! *pant* Come…back…here! *gasp*
Bart: Milhouse, it's now or never!
Milhouse: I choose never.
Bart: If I die, tell everyone I died doing what I love most! *goes down slide*
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Bart Dive Onto the Slide
Time: 4h
Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Dive After Bart
Time: 4h
Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Paul Flart: Gotcha!
Bart: Hey man, let me go! *shoves Flart*
Paul Flart: Careful, kid, this deadly slide isn't that stable — WHOA! *slide starts to collapse*
Bart: I'm falling!
Paul Flart: I got ya, kid! *grabs Bart and helps him to hold on* We just gotta hold until the fire department gets here.
Bart: Okay! We can do this together. Wait, what's wrong?
Paul Flart: Curse my sweaty palms! *slips and falls, grabs Bart's ankles on the way down*
Bart: AAARH! Can't…hold us…both up! *slips and falls*
Paul Flart: We're all gonna die!
Lisa: They're going to...land in the Lazy Puddle kiddie pool?
Paul Flart: Oh God, kid, you landed on my collarbone. And my spine. And my bad knee. *groans*
Bart: We…we made it!
Swimsuit Homer: That was great! I didn't know there was going to be a stunt show.
Marge: That wasn't a stunt show, that was our son!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Summer Splashin', Had Me a Blast
Auto starts
Bart: That was amazing the way you almost killed me then accidentally saved my life!
Paul Flart: And it was amazing the way you held us up as long as you could. But also you're under arrest again.
Bart: What? After all we went through together?
Paul Flart: Sorry, kid, but for a water park cop, water park law always comes first.
Paul Flart: Wait, hold on. Look!
Bart: What? Oh, the "You must be this tall…" sign. Gonna rub it in my face again?
Paul Flart: No, you're somehow taller?
Bart: You're right! I am!
Paul Flart: I guess when I was holding onto your ankles, I must have stretched you out.
Bart: *gasp* So I'm tall enough to ride the slide now?!
Paul Flart: I mean, you would be if the Devil's Deluge wasn't just completely destroyed when we just slid down it.
Bart: Oh yeah...forgot.
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Let Bart Go
Time: 4h
Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Steal Paul Flart's Scooter
Time: 4h
Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Lisa: So, Bart? You just had to steal Paul Flart's scooter...
Bart: I didn't "have to" do anything. But yes, I've acquired a certain water park cop's official cop scooter.
Bart: Now I can ride it around our neighborhood for the rest of the summer.
Homer: Bart, take your scooter and get me a six-pack of Duff.
Bart: But I'm not old enough.
Homer: This kid and all of his excuses!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Auto starts
Homer: It finally happened. Our team is good enough to fly across the country for.
Lenny: What about last year when we won the championship?
Homer: That was a fluke. Now that we're good again this season, it means we're actually good.
Carl: Yeah, last year came out of nowhere. It was like when Leicester City won the Premier League in 2016.
Lenny: We don't get your soccer references, Carl.
Carl: Sorry.
Intercom: We will begin the boarding process for Flight 196 to Boston shortly, starting with our Group One first-class passengers.
Lenny: Come on Carl, Group One — that's us.
Carl: Yeah, let's hit the fancy airport lounge before boarding starts!
Homer: What?! YOU guys are Group One?! FIRST CLASS?!
Lenny: Carl and I got upgraded.
Homer: But they only do that for newlyweds on their honeymoons and flight attendants on their off days!
Carl: Well, this time they did it 'cause we bought our tickets with points.
Homer: Points? That's it? I've got tons of those on my driver's license.
Lenny: No. Platinum Praetorian points.
Carl: *holding out thick metal credit card* We just got our credit cards in the mail — you get crazy benefits when you book flights.
Homer: But I want crazy benefits...
Lenny: Can't without the points.
Homer: Fine...
Task: Make Travelers Bump Into a Sad, Lonely Homer
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House
If the user has Lenny: Task: Make Lenny Drink Free Platinum Duff
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House
If the user has Carl: Task: Make Carl Get a Neck Massage
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Squeeze Into His Economy Middle Seat
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Airport, Terminal, The First Class Lounge or Brown House
Homer: That was the worst trip ever! Stuck in stupid economy, while you guys got to experience all the travel perks known to man.
Carl: Look, Homer, I'll just send you my referral code, and you can apply for your own platinum card. That way you'll get a nice point bonus in time for your next trip.
Lenny: Carl just wants you to do that so he can get even more points for himself. Use my code instead!
Carl: No way! I brought up the referral code thing first!
Homer: I don't care about which code — send me both! Because I'm going straight home and getting myself a fancy Praetorian card!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Summertime Blues, Pt. 2
Auto starts
Lisa: Hi Dad, how was your trip?
Homer: No time! Must apply for credit card! *typing*
Computer: DENIED.
Computer: STOP APPLYING.
Computer: EVERY DENIAL IS FURTHER LOWERING YOUR CREDIT SCORE.
Homer: I guess I have to just keep applying... *typing*
Computer: APPROVED.
Homer: Woohoo!
Computer: JUST KIDDING — DENIED. ALSO, PLEASE STOP.
Homer: How come Lenny and Carl can get approved for fancy cards, and I can't?! We have the same job, and we even go to the same bar!
Lisa: Well, it does make some sense. Lenny and Carl don't have mortgages, they don't have kids, and they probably don't throw all their "past-due" bills in the garbage.
Homer: Stupid kids! Ruining my financial health!
Lisa: Dad, have you ever sat down and actually taken a look at your credit report?
Homer: No, I pay "Credit Nirvana" $29.99 a month to take a look for me.
Lisa: Well, after we see what's on there, maybe we can fix things. *typing*
Task: Make Homer Give Lisa His Credit Nirvana Password
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Lisa Log Into Homer's Credit Nirvana Account
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
If the user has Bart: Task: Make Bart Laugh at Homer's Password
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
Lisa: Voila! Here's your credit report, Dad.
Homer: AAAAH!
Lisa: Yeah, this is pretty unfixable.
Bart: Why do you have a Banana Republic credit card?
Homer: I don't know. All I wanted to do was walk in and buy a pair of pants! It's all I ever wanted...
Lisa: Wait, it says on the report that your spouse has a Platinum Praetorian Card and you're listed as an "Authorized User"!
Homer: What?! Marge, do we have a Platinum Praetorian Card?!
Marge: Of course, it's how we're able to afford and book all of our "Simpsons Go To" vacations.
Lisa: Our what?
Marge: You know, all the trips we go on: Brazil, Australia, Costa Rica, England, Tokyo, Italy, France, Ireland...
Homer: Woo-hoo! That means we must have millions of travel points by now!
Homer: Kids, where do you want to go to next? Because we're all flying first-class and getting free neck massages at the airport lounge!
Lisa: Ooh! We should go on an ecological tour of the Galápagos!
Bart: Fiji! No — the Bahamas! No — whatever the island Fortnite is based on!
Marge: Homer, I am not going to waste all of our points on first class tickets to some random island. I book our trips using a very specific and cost-effective system of well-timed deals and promos.
Homer: Okay, then where does your *air quotes* "system" think we should go?
Marge: *typing* Hmm, my system is only giving me two choices that we can currently afford...
Homer: *praying* Please be somewhere awesome. Please be somewhere awesome...
Marge: Our choices are...a Crypto Cruise around a floating server farm in the North Sea...
Lisa: Sounds like a scam.
Marge: Or...a three day stay at Mt. Splashmore Water Park & Resort.
Bart and Lisa: Water park! Water park! Water park!
Homer: But Mt. Splashmore is right outside Springfield — which means we wouldn't get to fly first-class or get free airport neck massages...
Bart and Lisa: Water park! Water park! Water park!
Homer: Fine, I'll get my swimsuit...
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 1
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Lisa: Oh man, I'm so excited for Mt. Splashmore!
Bart: Me too! Especially since they bought the infamous Devil's Deluge water slide and made it twice as dangerous!
Lisa: They did what with who now?!
Bart: Lisa, The Devil's Deluge is only the most awesome and dangerous slide in the world. You even get to sign onto a class action lawsuit while you wait in line.
Lisa: It can't be that dangerous...
Bart: It was voted "America's Most Dangerous Water Slide" eight years in a row and recently earned Water Park America's "Deathtime Achievement Award".
Lisa: *worried gulp*
Marge: We're here!
Swimsuit Homer: Okay, have a good time kids! If you get injured, just make sure someone's filming it for the future lawsuit.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Bart Rush to the Devil's Deluge
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Lisa Question the Water Quality
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Homer Look for the Snack Bar
Time: 4h
Location: Fried Dough Stand, Hot Dog Cart, Hotdog Stand, Popcorn, Stand, Peanut Cart, Devil Donuts Cart, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Bart: Come on, Lis, the line for the Devil's Deluge is only two hours long!
Lisa: *super worried gulp*
Paul Flart: Hold it right there, spikey hair kid.
Bart: Me? Or my sister?
Paul Flart: You. *points at sign*
Lisa: *gasp* The dreaded "You must be THIS tall to go on this ride" sign!
Bart: Have I been standing in front of that this whole time?
Paul Flart: *points at Bart* You're too short to go on the Devil's Deluge.
Bart: No, I'm tall enough! Look! *stretches neck*
Paul Flart: Nope, short by an inch — and that's counting your hair points.
Bart: Come on! Make an exception just this once! Please!
Paul Flart: Nope!
Bart: What's your problem, dude? I mean, like who died and made you the Paul Blart of this water park?
Paul Flart: No one died. And the name isn't Blart, it's Flart. Paul Flart.
Bart: You're a lame security guard, and your name is one letter off from the mall cop in that Kevin James movie?!
Paul Flart: Hey! I didn't come up with the name, I was born with it! It was out of my hands!
Bart: Okay, Flart. But you best believe I'm getting on that super deadly slide.
Paul Flart: Don't even think about trying to sneak onto that slide, pal, because I got my eye on you.
Paul Flart: Plus, you're too short and might die if you go down it, which would be most unfortunate...
Bart: Well, you can EAT MY SWIMTRUNKS, Flart.
Paul Flart: Stop saying my name like that!
Bart: Whatever you say...FLART.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 2
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Bart: Hey, Homer, I need your help distracting that water park cop weirdo.
Swimsuit Homer: Why would I help you do anything?
Bart: Please! All I need you to do is distract Flart so I can sneak onto the Devil's Deluge.
Swimsuit Homer: His name is Flart?! Oh my God, what a dumb name! Okay, I'll help.
Bart: That's all it took to convince you?
Swimsuit Homer: *shrugs* Hey, I'm a reasonable guy.
Bart: No, you're not.
Swimsuit Homer: WHY YOU LITTLE!
Bart: *getting choked* Case...in...point.
Swimsuit Homer: *lets go* Touché.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Homer Dance to Distract
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Try to Sneak Onto the Slide
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Block Bart
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Swimsuit Homer: Look at me, everyone! I'm dancin' in a swimsuit. *awkwardly dances*
Bart: I told Homer to distract the cop, not the entire water park!
Agnes: Shake it over here, baby! Momma's got a dollar bill ready to slip into those swim trunks.
Swimsuit Homer: Uh, that's not really necessary…
Agnes: Here's a twenty then. *grabs Skinner's wallet*
Skinner: Mother — that was all of my cash. How am I supposed to pay for lunch now?
Swimsuit Homer: *dancing* I hope my dancing doesn't distract anyone — especially any water park cops.
Bart: Okay, I think the coast is clear for me to sneak onto the Devil's Deluge—
Paul Flart: Not so fast!
Bart: Flart?! But you were supposed to get distracted by the dancing fat guy over in the lazy river!
Paul Flart: I knew you were going to try something like that. Which is precisely why I put the interns on drunk idiot duty.
Paul Flart: Can you believe we're allowed to still have interns? These kids think they'll actually get college credit for this...
Bart: *points* Whoa, is one of the interns doing a backflip off Mt. Splashmore Mountain?
Paul Flart: *turns around* I don't see anyone jumping—
Paul Flart: *turns back* Wait, where'd you go? Aw man, he tricked me!
Bart: *does a backflip off Mt. Splashmore Mountain* Smell you later, Flart!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 3
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Milhouse: *blowing air into floaties* Ah man, there's a hole in my floaty...
Bart: Milhouse?! I didn't know you'd be in this update!
Milhouse: I wasn't supposed to be. I just happened to be at the water park today!
Bart: Well, I'm happy to see that you were included. And...since you're here, you've gotta help me sneak onto the Devil's Deluge.
Milhouse: I don't know, Bart. I usually stick to the less dangerous rides like "The Lazy Puddle", or "The Ankle Soaker" or "The SPF 60 Adventure..."
Bart: But those are rides for babies who wear water diapers!
Milhouse: *covering himself up* Yeah, you're right. Only babies wear water diapers — I'd never wear a water diaper...
Bart: Anyway, I was thinking we'd sneak onto the slide with the classic "two kids, one trench coat" trick.
Milhouse: That is a classic! But also a weird choice for a water park... You know, because why would anybody wear a trench coat at a water park...
Bart: ...
Milhouse: Sorry, I know it's not really my role to start poking holes in your plan. It's a great plan...great plan.
Bart: Just get on my shoulders and let's trick this water park Flart-wad!
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Bart Carry Milhouse
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Put On Their Disguise
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Be Suspicious
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Lisa Test the Park Water
Time: 4h
Location: Water Toads, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Milhouse: I say, good sir, may I get on that slide? I believe it's called the Devil's Deluge.
Paul Flart: Are you sure you don't want to take off your coat before going down the slide?
Milhouse: Uh, no, I need my coat because I'm from London and all Londoners wear coats!
Paul Flart: Are you okay? You're shaking all of a sudden, and kind of yelling at me for no reason.
Milhouse: I'm not yelling — you're YELLING. *trips and falls over*
Paul Flart: I knew you weren't a Londoner! You don't even have a British accent!
Bart: Great detective work, Flart.
Paul Flart: You two dummies are coming with me!
Bart: Instead of walking down all these stairs, wouldn't it be faster if we took the slide down?
Paul Flart: Hmm, that would be faster...
Paul Flart: Wait, you're trying to trick me again. I'm not falling for your—
Bart: *grabs inner tube* Milhouse, come on!
Bart: Milhouse?!
Milhouse: I can't! I'm too afraid to go down that slide!
Paul Flart: *grabbing Milhouse and Bart* That's it! I'm sending you two to the only place you can't escape in this water park!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 4
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Bart: I can't believe we ended up in the water park's "Drunk Tank Dunk Tank".
Milhouse: Yeah, if you're going to put us in water park prison, it should at least match our crime. We're kids — and this place is filled with weird, smelly drunk people.
Barney: *belches* I'm not drunk. I just accidentally drank one of those floating chlorine thingies thinking it was a piña colada!
Sea Captain: Nor am I imbibed with the sirens' spirits! All I've got is a brief spell of scurvy and some light indigestion on account of my IBS!
Bart: Yeah, yeah, everyone in prison says they're innocent...
Kearney: *walking up* Whoa, "Drunk Tank Dunk Tank" — "dunk a drunk and win a prize". *throws ball*
Sea Captain: *falling into dunk tank* Arrrr, me wooden peg leg is not waterproof!
Jimbo: My turn! *throws ball* Got him!
Barney: *falling into tank* How is this legal?! *belches*
Milhouse: Bart, we need to get out of here before we start getting dunked! My floaty is out of air! I'll drown!
Bart: Relax, the moment Flart gets distracted, we're making a run for it.
Milhouse: Look, Lisa's walking up to Flart!
Lisa: Mr. Flart, you have to close the water park! We have an emergency situation.
Paul Flart: An emergency?! The kind where I need to run away and hide or the kind I can safely ignore?
Lisa: Can you safely ignore what may be the dawn of one of the greatest ecological disasters in human history?
Paul Flart: I'm guessing...no?
Lisa: Look at the results from these water tests I conducted!
Bart: Come on! Now's our chance.
Milhouse: But I wanted to see the water test results.
Bart: We will — after the quest objectives are completed.
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Lisa Expose Tainted Water
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Make Excuses for Tainted Water
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Sneak Out of Water Park Jail
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Milhouse: Task: Make Milhouse Follow Bart Out of Jail
Time: 4h
Location: Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Paul Flart: We're aware that bacteria is a thing, little girl. That's why we use whatever that chemical is that makes your eyes burn to keep everyone healthy.
Lisa: Look, I'm not talking about normal water park bacteria. The water quality here is so poor that you've managed to breed chlorine-resistant bacteria!
Paul Flart: Okay. And that's bad?
Lisa: It's an emergency!
Paul Flart: Okay, okay! Let me take the inmates out of the "bacteria" filled dunk tank, and then I'll call the top brass to get this sorted out.
Paul Flart: Wait, where'd they all go?
Sea Captain: Those two criminal cadets exited starboard and are headed north at fifteen knots.
Paul Flart: I know exactly where they're going...
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The Devil and the Deep Blue Slide Pt. 5
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Bart: Devil's Deluge, here we come!
Milhouse: But Bart, what about the attendant?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: *snoring*
Bart: You were saying?
Milhouse: Uh, look, Bart, you go ahead. That slide looks cool and all, but...but it's not safe.
Bart: Of course it's not safe, you big baby. That's the whole point!
Paul Flart: Hey! *pant* Come…back…here! *gasp*
Bart: Milhouse, it's now or never!
Milhouse: I choose never.
Bart: If I die, tell everyone I died doing what I love most! *goes down slide*
Task: Collect Pool Floaties
Task: Make Bart Dive Onto the Slide
Time: 4h
Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Dive After Bart
Time: 4h
Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Paul Flart: Gotcha!
Bart: Hey man, let me go! *shoves Flart*
Paul Flart: Careful, kid, this deadly slide isn't that stable — WHOA! *slide starts to collapse*
Bart: I'm falling!
Paul Flart: I got ya, kid! *grabs Bart and helps him to hold on* We just gotta hold until the fire department gets here.
Bart: Okay! We can do this together. Wait, what's wrong?
Paul Flart: Curse my sweaty palms! *slips and falls, grabs Bart's ankles on the way down*
Bart: AAARH! Can't…hold us…both up! *slips and falls*
Paul Flart: We're all gonna die!
Lisa: They're going to...land in the Lazy Puddle kiddie pool?
Paul Flart: Oh God, kid, you landed on my collarbone. And my spine. And my bad knee. *groans*
Bart: We…we made it!
Swimsuit Homer: That was great! I didn't know there was going to be a stunt show.
Marge: That wasn't a stunt show, that was our son!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Summer Splashin', Had Me a Blast
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Bart: That was amazing the way you almost killed me then accidentally saved my life!
Paul Flart: And it was amazing the way you held us up as long as you could. But also you're under arrest again.
Bart: What? After all we went through together?
Paul Flart: Sorry, kid, but for a water park cop, water park law always comes first.
Paul Flart: Wait, hold on. Look!
Bart: What? Oh, the "You must be this tall…" sign. Gonna rub it in my face again?
Paul Flart: No, you're somehow taller?
Bart: You're right! I am!
Paul Flart: I guess when I was holding onto your ankles, I must have stretched you out.
Bart: *gasp* So I'm tall enough to ride the slide now?!
Paul Flart: I mean, you would be if the Devil's Deluge wasn't just completely destroyed when we just slid down it.
Bart: Oh yeah...forgot.
If the user has Paul Flart: Task: Make Paul Flart Let Bart Go
Time: 4h
Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Steal Paul Flart's Scooter
Time: 4h
Location: Devil's Deluge, Mt. Splashmore Slide, Wavewalker, Water Toads, Waterslide Tree, Unoriginal Log Ride, Water Show Fountain, Klub Krusty Pool, Danger Pool, Squidport Entrance or Simpson House
Lisa: So, Bart? You just had to steal Paul Flart's scooter...
Bart: I didn't "have to" do anything. But yes, I've acquired a certain water park cop's official cop scooter.
Bart: Now I can ride it around our neighborhood for the rest of the summer.
Homer: Bart, take your scooter and get me a six-pack of Duff.
Bart: But I'm not old enough.
Homer: This kid and all of his excuses!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
