The Buck Stops Here and "Haw-Haw Land" Episode Tie-In: Walkthrough
Wel-Scare State Intro
Auto starts
Homer: 3...2...1...Happy New--
Homer: Wait, we're still here?!
Quimby: Wasn't there, ah, supposed to be a New Year's “afterparty in the sky”?
L.T. Smash: More like an after-LIFE! The apocalypse was supposed to happen, and only godless Liberals were supposed to be left on this planet!
Lisa: No, the world was supposed to end because of greedy Conservatives!
Homer: Sounds like no one's happy. Especially me, who doesn't know what a Liberal or Conservative is.
Task: Make Conservatives Complain
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall
Characters: Blue Haired Lawyer, Sideshow Bob, Mr. Burns, Count Dracula, Chalmers, Dr. Hibbert, Cookie Kwan, Helen Lovejoy, Lurleen, Lindsay Naegle, The Rich Texan, Ned, Homer, Wolfcastle
Task: Make Liberals Complain
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall
Characters: Patty, Selma, Marge, Carl, Lenny, Lisa, Martin, Julio, Bumblebee Man, Comic Book Guy, Smithers, Grady, Apu, Professor Frink, Quimby, Martha Quimby
Number 1: This non-pocalypse is very upsetting. Or should I say apocal-not. No, the first one's better.
Number 1: Anyway, we promised our followers an end of the world. I'm calling an emergency meeting!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: The Stonecutters are holding an event at the convention center called “Conserva-clypse Con”. Why does everything have to have a crazy name?
Bart: That other sign they hung up is pretty straightforward: “No Homers”.
Lisa: Wait, so the Stonecutters are part of the Conservative right?!
Number 1: Duh, Lisa. How many Liberal meetings involve robes and spanking one's subordinates? Besides Hollywood casting sessions, that is.
Number 1: *chuckles* That joke works even REGARDLESS of recent events. But enough zinging — we've got an apocalypse to prep for!
Task: Make Lisa Shame the Stonecutters
Time: 3h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Springfielders Prep for Conserva-clypse
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall
Task: Earn Executive Orders
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 2
Auto starts
Number 1: Wow, Conservative preppers work fast! The Liberals don't stand a chance.
Quimby: Now, ah, hold on a minute there. I'm fine with destroying the world for profit, but not just to wipe out an opposing party!
Number 1: Showing a tiny amount of empathy for someone else?! I've had enough of your disgusting Liberal views! We're repealing your Stonecutter membership.
Quimby: But this club is all I have in my life!
Martha Quimby: ...
Quimby: Er, ah, I stand by what I said.
Lisa: You know, Mayor Quimby, we Liberals will celebrate literally anyone if they act even the slightest bit sane. Why don't you help with a Liberal Self-Help Convention?
Quimby: Okay, I suppose I can act slightly sane.
Task: Build the Capital City Plaza Hotel
Task: Make Lisa Run the Liberal Convention
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Plaza Hotel or Simpson House
Task: Earn Executive Orders
Julio: I can't believe the apocalypse didn't happen! My worthless crystals failed at telling the future! I better buy new ones!
Carl: The Earth is already irreversibly damaged, so I thought the Conservatives would be the final tipping point.
Lisa: Yes, let's keep talking about our feelings until everything is all talked out.
Quimby: Yes, let's talk it out...
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 3
Auto starts
Birch Barlow: Hello again, Springfield! I heard there was an eagle-cry for freedom that cannot be ignored. And here I am, ready to star-spangle every man, woman, and child with my radio show.
Lisa: Birchibald T. Barlow! And I thought all this hot air was just from climate change. You're here to purge us, aren't you?
Birch Barlow: That's exactly what I'm here for. All you Liberals have run our fair city into the ground and failed to be wiped away by the Rapture. We will fix that.
Wolfcastle: Yes. We will finally rid ourselves of the puny little nerds.
Lisa: I never thought I'd say this, but endless talking about the world's problems won't fix things. We might need to start actually preparing ourselves.
Lloyd: You folks need Doomsday preppin' materials? I've got just the solution for you.
Task: Make Springfielders Buy Doomsday Kits
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Convention Center or Capital City Plaza Hotel
Task: Earn Executive Orders
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 4
Auto starts
Lisa: Is it just me, or is everyone at each other's throats lately...
Bart: Stop being such a negative, existential NERD, you Liberal.
Homer: Yeah! You Liberals just want to eradicate all our freedoms! I like freedoms!
Lisa: You guys are Conservative now? And since when do you know words like “existential” and “eradicate”?
Bart: Eh, we just like to yell.
Birch Barlow: That's right. Yell at those yellow-belly Liberals!
Lisa: Mayor Quimby! Barlow is stirring up trouble! Please help me show them reason!
Quimby: Sorry, I don't have time, I'm too busy, uh, prepping.
Task: Make Lisa Avoid Republican Screamers
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Convention Center or Simpson House
Task: Earn Executive Orders
On job start:
Quimby: Ahh, with Lisa handling all those Republicans, I can finally take a break! After campaigning for thirty years, it's nice to be out of the public eye for a bit.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 5
Auto starts
Lisa: Something odd is going on here... everyone is riled up for the apocalypse, yet they seem excited.
Lisa: It's almost like people are rooting for it to prove themselves right. They're cutting off their nose to spite their face.
Carl: That's a great idea! Cutting off my nose would really show those Conservative jerks what jerks they are!
Lisa: I just meant let's not go down without a fight!
Carl: OW! MY NOSE!
Task: Make Lisa Lead Arguments
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Convention Center or Simpson House
Task: Make Springfielders Fight During Final Countdown
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Convention Center or Town Hall
Task: Earn Executive Orders
On job start:
Kent Brockman: BREAKING NEWS! Both Conservatives and Liberals have ended their conventions to go prepare for the apocalypse. The Doomsday Countdown Clock has been set for eight hours.
Kent Brockman: We'll return after this eight-hour New York City Marathon marathon.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 6
Auto starts
Kent Brockman: And that is it, folks. It has been over eight hours and the Doomsday Countdown Clock reached its end. It looks like the apocalypse isn't happening for either side of the aisle.
Julio: I'm disappointed the Conservatives didn't cause an apocalypse. It's almost as if nothing they do is that big a deal. So depressing...
Number 1: I am disappointed that we could not deliver the end times as promised.
Quimby: This is what you get for wanting the apocalypse to happen intentionally, when you should do it out of neglect!
Number 1: But it is the Republican way!
Birch Barlow: It's also the Republican way to make money off human misery. Profits speak louder than raptures!
Lisa: I knew it! You two were working together to stir up controversy and keep people distracted from the real issues!
Quimby: This is the only cross-party thing we can agree on. Cheers for maintaining status quo!
Task: Build Springfield Hall of Records
Task: Make Quimby Document Failed Doomsdays
Time: 3h
Location: Springfield Hall of Records or Town Hall
Birch Barlow: Have you disposed of all the relevant evidence?
Quimby: There is nothing left that this town would be able to find. As long as this town still chooses chaos, we'll continue to have a place – and profits – here.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
STEM Vs. Them Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lisa: We're headed to the STEM conference! Somebody pinch me! NOT LITERALLY, BART.
Bart: What does STEM stand for? Stupid, Terrible, and Extremely Meh?
Lisa: I'm just excited we're going to see the Visible Man!
Homer: It's IN-visible man, Lisa. You don't know much about horror movies, do you?
Task: Make Lisa Explain What STEM Stands For
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Place Life-Sized Visible Man
Lisa: The anatomically correct, life-sized, inside-out man. Your giant heart is almost as big as your giant lungs, kidneys, and pancreas.
Bart: Ugh, we better get out of here — looks like he ate a really big lunch.
Lisa: It doesn't matter — my heart fills with song… uh-oh. You're right. Let's get out of here!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
STEM Vs. Them Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: SCIENCE AND MATH, SCIENCE AND MATH…
Bart: SMELL MY BURPS, AND FEEL MY WRATH! *burps*
Lisa: Bart!!!
Bart: I'm a natural songbird — and so's my butt. *farts*
Lisa: I just want a boy to share my love of song, over a nice vegetarian lunch.
Ralph: I like veternian lunch! Dog food, cat food…
Lisa: I WANT A DREAMBOAT, NOT ONE OF THESE DUMMIES…
Bart: MY MOM IS A SCOLD, AND MY DAD IS A RUMMY…
Homer: Why you little...
Task: Make Lisa Sing Nerdy Songs
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Tease Lisa
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
STEM Vs. Them Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Lisa: Go ahead and tease me — you're really just teasing yourselves.
Nelson: Stop teasing yourself! Stop teasing yourself!
Bart: Dude, we're supposed to be tormenting Lisa, not each other. Eyes on the prize!
Lisa: It's perfectly reasonable for me to want a boy who understands me!
Bart: If by “a boy who understands you”, you mean one who understands your singing is terrible.
Nelson: Yeah, Lisa! Your singing sounds about as good as your face looks.
Bart: That's more like it. I knew you had it in you.
Lisa: Nelson, I don't know why you're hanging out around me. We broke up, so you shouldn't be back in my life! Why tease me now?
Nelson: I secretly dig you. Plus, Mom's passed out on the stoop. Can't get in the house.
Task: Make Lisa Not Be Understood by Others
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
STEM Vs. Them Pt. 4
Lisa starts
Lisa: Uh-oh… I feel a song coming on! Unless I ate some tainted tofu.
Lisa: I'LL NEVER SAY SORRY FOR LOVING MATH AND SCIENCE.
Lisa: AGAINST IGNORANCE, I WILL ALWAYS SHOW MY DEFIANCE!
Ralph: MOMMY WON'T LET ME TOUCH ANY APPLIANCE.
Nelson: Don't worry, Lis. I'll be there to pick you up after every failed relationship, probably 'til you're in high school, and I'm in juvie!
Task: Make Lisa Sing
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Nelson Lie in Wait for Lisa
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Lisa: Where's that piano music coming from? Is that a boy who knows the beauty of jazz? It's America's only true art form — and its least popular!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Auto starts
Homer: 3...2...1...Happy New--
Homer: Wait, we're still here?!
Quimby: Wasn't there, ah, supposed to be a New Year's “afterparty in the sky”?
L.T. Smash: More like an after-LIFE! The apocalypse was supposed to happen, and only godless Liberals were supposed to be left on this planet!
Lisa: No, the world was supposed to end because of greedy Conservatives!
Homer: Sounds like no one's happy. Especially me, who doesn't know what a Liberal or Conservative is.
Task: Make Conservatives Complain
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall
Characters: Blue Haired Lawyer, Sideshow Bob, Mr. Burns, Count Dracula, Chalmers, Dr. Hibbert, Cookie Kwan, Helen Lovejoy, Lurleen, Lindsay Naegle, The Rich Texan, Ned, Homer, Wolfcastle
Task: Make Liberals Complain
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall
Characters: Patty, Selma, Marge, Carl, Lenny, Lisa, Martin, Julio, Bumblebee Man, Comic Book Guy, Smithers, Grady, Apu, Professor Frink, Quimby, Martha Quimby
Number 1: This non-pocalypse is very upsetting. Or should I say apocal-not. No, the first one's better.
Number 1: Anyway, we promised our followers an end of the world. I'm calling an emergency meeting!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: The Stonecutters are holding an event at the convention center called “Conserva-clypse Con”. Why does everything have to have a crazy name?
Bart: That other sign they hung up is pretty straightforward: “No Homers”.
Lisa: Wait, so the Stonecutters are part of the Conservative right?!
Number 1: Duh, Lisa. How many Liberal meetings involve robes and spanking one's subordinates? Besides Hollywood casting sessions, that is.
Number 1: *chuckles* That joke works even REGARDLESS of recent events. But enough zinging — we've got an apocalypse to prep for!
Task: Make Lisa Shame the Stonecutters
Time: 3h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Springfielders Prep for Conserva-clypse
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall
Task: Earn Executive Orders
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 2
Auto starts
Number 1: Wow, Conservative preppers work fast! The Liberals don't stand a chance.
Quimby: Now, ah, hold on a minute there. I'm fine with destroying the world for profit, but not just to wipe out an opposing party!
Number 1: Showing a tiny amount of empathy for someone else?! I've had enough of your disgusting Liberal views! We're repealing your Stonecutter membership.
Quimby: But this club is all I have in my life!
Martha Quimby: ...
Quimby: Er, ah, I stand by what I said.
Lisa: You know, Mayor Quimby, we Liberals will celebrate literally anyone if they act even the slightest bit sane. Why don't you help with a Liberal Self-Help Convention?
Quimby: Okay, I suppose I can act slightly sane.
Task: Build the Capital City Plaza Hotel
Task: Make Lisa Run the Liberal Convention
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Plaza Hotel or Simpson House
Task: Earn Executive Orders
Julio: I can't believe the apocalypse didn't happen! My worthless crystals failed at telling the future! I better buy new ones!
Carl: The Earth is already irreversibly damaged, so I thought the Conservatives would be the final tipping point.
Lisa: Yes, let's keep talking about our feelings until everything is all talked out.
Quimby: Yes, let's talk it out...
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 3
Auto starts
Birch Barlow: Hello again, Springfield! I heard there was an eagle-cry for freedom that cannot be ignored. And here I am, ready to star-spangle every man, woman, and child with my radio show.
Lisa: Birchibald T. Barlow! And I thought all this hot air was just from climate change. You're here to purge us, aren't you?
Birch Barlow: That's exactly what I'm here for. All you Liberals have run our fair city into the ground and failed to be wiped away by the Rapture. We will fix that.
Wolfcastle: Yes. We will finally rid ourselves of the puny little nerds.
Lisa: I never thought I'd say this, but endless talking about the world's problems won't fix things. We might need to start actually preparing ourselves.
Lloyd: You folks need Doomsday preppin' materials? I've got just the solution for you.
Task: Make Springfielders Buy Doomsday Kits
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Convention Center or Capital City Plaza Hotel
Task: Earn Executive Orders
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 4
Auto starts
Lisa: Is it just me, or is everyone at each other's throats lately...
Bart: Stop being such a negative, existential NERD, you Liberal.
Homer: Yeah! You Liberals just want to eradicate all our freedoms! I like freedoms!
Lisa: You guys are Conservative now? And since when do you know words like “existential” and “eradicate”?
Bart: Eh, we just like to yell.
Birch Barlow: That's right. Yell at those yellow-belly Liberals!
Lisa: Mayor Quimby! Barlow is stirring up trouble! Please help me show them reason!
Quimby: Sorry, I don't have time, I'm too busy, uh, prepping.
Task: Make Lisa Avoid Republican Screamers
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Convention Center or Simpson House
Task: Earn Executive Orders
On job start:
Quimby: Ahh, with Lisa handling all those Republicans, I can finally take a break! After campaigning for thirty years, it's nice to be out of the public eye for a bit.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 5
Auto starts
Lisa: Something odd is going on here... everyone is riled up for the apocalypse, yet they seem excited.
Lisa: It's almost like people are rooting for it to prove themselves right. They're cutting off their nose to spite their face.
Carl: That's a great idea! Cutting off my nose would really show those Conservative jerks what jerks they are!
Lisa: I just meant let's not go down without a fight!
Carl: OW! MY NOSE!
Task: Make Lisa Lead Arguments
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Convention Center or Simpson House
Task: Make Springfielders Fight During Final Countdown
Time: 3h
Location: Capital City Convention Center or Town Hall
Task: Earn Executive Orders
On job start:
Kent Brockman: BREAKING NEWS! Both Conservatives and Liberals have ended their conventions to go prepare for the apocalypse. The Doomsday Countdown Clock has been set for eight hours.
Kent Brockman: We'll return after this eight-hour New York City Marathon marathon.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Wel-Scare State Pt. 6
Auto starts
Kent Brockman: And that is it, folks. It has been over eight hours and the Doomsday Countdown Clock reached its end. It looks like the apocalypse isn't happening for either side of the aisle.
Julio: I'm disappointed the Conservatives didn't cause an apocalypse. It's almost as if nothing they do is that big a deal. So depressing...
Number 1: I am disappointed that we could not deliver the end times as promised.
Quimby: This is what you get for wanting the apocalypse to happen intentionally, when you should do it out of neglect!
Number 1: But it is the Republican way!
Birch Barlow: It's also the Republican way to make money off human misery. Profits speak louder than raptures!
Lisa: I knew it! You two were working together to stir up controversy and keep people distracted from the real issues!
Quimby: This is the only cross-party thing we can agree on. Cheers for maintaining status quo!
Task: Build Springfield Hall of Records
Task: Make Quimby Document Failed Doomsdays
Time: 3h
Location: Springfield Hall of Records or Town Hall
Birch Barlow: Have you disposed of all the relevant evidence?
Quimby: There is nothing left that this town would be able to find. As long as this town still chooses chaos, we'll continue to have a place – and profits – here.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
STEM Vs. Them Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lisa: We're headed to the STEM conference! Somebody pinch me! NOT LITERALLY, BART.
Bart: What does STEM stand for? Stupid, Terrible, and Extremely Meh?
Lisa: I'm just excited we're going to see the Visible Man!
Homer: It's IN-visible man, Lisa. You don't know much about horror movies, do you?
Task: Make Lisa Explain What STEM Stands For
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Place Life-Sized Visible Man
Lisa: The anatomically correct, life-sized, inside-out man. Your giant heart is almost as big as your giant lungs, kidneys, and pancreas.
Bart: Ugh, we better get out of here — looks like he ate a really big lunch.
Lisa: It doesn't matter — my heart fills with song… uh-oh. You're right. Let's get out of here!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
STEM Vs. Them Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: SCIENCE AND MATH, SCIENCE AND MATH…
Bart: SMELL MY BURPS, AND FEEL MY WRATH! *burps*
Lisa: Bart!!!
Bart: I'm a natural songbird — and so's my butt. *farts*
Lisa: I just want a boy to share my love of song, over a nice vegetarian lunch.
Ralph: I like veternian lunch! Dog food, cat food…
Lisa: I WANT A DREAMBOAT, NOT ONE OF THESE DUMMIES…
Bart: MY MOM IS A SCOLD, AND MY DAD IS A RUMMY…
Homer: Why you little...
Task: Make Lisa Sing Nerdy Songs
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Bart Tease Lisa
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
STEM Vs. Them Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Lisa: Go ahead and tease me — you're really just teasing yourselves.
Nelson: Stop teasing yourself! Stop teasing yourself!
Bart: Dude, we're supposed to be tormenting Lisa, not each other. Eyes on the prize!
Lisa: It's perfectly reasonable for me to want a boy who understands me!
Bart: If by “a boy who understands you”, you mean one who understands your singing is terrible.
Nelson: Yeah, Lisa! Your singing sounds about as good as your face looks.
Bart: That's more like it. I knew you had it in you.
Lisa: Nelson, I don't know why you're hanging out around me. We broke up, so you shouldn't be back in my life! Why tease me now?
Nelson: I secretly dig you. Plus, Mom's passed out on the stoop. Can't get in the house.
Task: Make Lisa Not Be Understood by Others
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
STEM Vs. Them Pt. 4
Lisa starts
Lisa: Uh-oh… I feel a song coming on! Unless I ate some tainted tofu.
Lisa: I'LL NEVER SAY SORRY FOR LOVING MATH AND SCIENCE.
Lisa: AGAINST IGNORANCE, I WILL ALWAYS SHOW MY DEFIANCE!
Ralph: MOMMY WON'T LET ME TOUCH ANY APPLIANCE.
Nelson: Don't worry, Lis. I'll be there to pick you up after every failed relationship, probably 'til you're in high school, and I'm in juvie!
Task: Make Lisa Sing
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Task: Make Nelson Lie in Wait for Lisa
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Lisa: Where's that piano music coming from? Is that a boy who knows the beauty of jazz? It's America's only true art form — and its least popular!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
