Cross play is enabled! Me and my bf we aren’t able to join a match together

It’s not a problem with are systems bc I’ve played with my bf before on my Nintendo switch and he played with me on his ps5 but recently after the new updates to the game it does not allow us to join matches together. It also is laggy. We’ve both restarted the app and I even deleted it etc. both of our cross plays are enabled bc we’ve played a million times before this. The lobby is weird too because I joined him as caustic and it didn’t load on my side that I joined - but I joined him as a basis lifeline skin when I use a legendary lifeline .. and I was supposed to be caustic. It also doesn’t show on both sides that were readied up. Like if It shows we’re both ready on my side . It says party not ready on my bfs. Then when we think we can load it always takes forever and makes us join a match seperate.. i literally joined a match by myself in duos so idk what’s going on with this apex update …