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The fact that people even came up with a term for this is laughable to me.
When we played Mechwarrior, you'd have some people take armor off their legs and then call people "cheap" when you shot their legs and crippled their movement speed, making them easy targets. There's a REASON why you CAN put armor on your legs; Calling someone names or saying they're dishonorable for shooting you in the legs is laughably untactical.
Same deal with third parties. It's a valid battlefield tactic. You strike when the enemy is weakest to maximize your strengths. Giving it a negative connotation does not belittle its value. It's not like you can't do it to someone else.
I've never been all that bothered by 3rd parties. Doing or being 3rd partied. It's not always easy to time and the smarter squads know when to push and when to poke.
It sounds like the OP doesn't know when to do these things; as do all people who complain it ruins the game.
Here's my suggestion. Play every fight as though you will get 3rd partied. You will plan better that way and do better as a result. Pretending like every encounter will be respected by third parties is what 3rd party-ers prey on. Its naive to pretend you won't get ambushed when its the least opportune moment for you.
Keep in mind, those gunshots help keep the gun fights going. Be careful what you wish for. If you can't hear gun fights from far away, it's more likely you'll have some boring gameplay because no one will be able to find the party.
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