Ok so I have another solution that I somehow got to work. Not sure if this is easier or more difficult, i tried all the other things here except the virtual disk thing.
I had already used the net command and px something app too remove and re-add mapped storage. I also have a batch file that runs on system startup that adds network drive (not sure which of these is necessary)
I created a symlink between a folder on d drive and the network share shortcut in my C drive. (the reason i did not point directly to the c drive network shortcut is that it gives an out of space error since I only have like 40 gigs available on my c drive.
when i tried downloading a game at this point i got a permissions error.
I then removed ownership ( i used chatgpt for a lot of this so im not sure 100% all the things I did) from system and gave it to my user account.
finally i gave the ea background service user permissions and it ended up downloading.
good luck everyone and thanks ea for making this so difficult.
sorry if this is hard to understand its late and I want to go to bed but i want to document this before going to bed.