Hey loonerbob72,
Sorry to hear that you've been receiving pushback from what sounds like the NextStep bot. If you're unable to unlink the Xbox account using these steps, or can't access your old EA account, please try using this web form to connect with our live support team instead. Once you're redirected to the self-service page, there should be an option to chat with an advisor. After verifying your account ownership, the advisor should be able to work with you to unlink those accounts.
Please note that progress is stored at the EA account level, and not on individual platforms like Xbox, so when you unlink those accounts, you'll lose access to the progress stored on that old account. With that said, it'd be best to try to recover that old EA account and maintain the current link, but if that isn't something you're open to, feel free to proceed with unlinking those accounts with the above information in mind. Thanks!