Why are they Tanks: Fives, Old Ben, Teebo,...?
A Tank is the courageous / suicidal guy that always volunteers to "take one for the team": He'll jump in the midst of the blaster shots in front of a friend in trouble and protect his life with his own body.
His idea of glory goes hand in hand with "posthumous". He's usually a very good and touching second role in movies. And then his death (shot in slow motion over 5 minutes in total silence) offers a great excuse for the (real) hero to become enraged and finish off however many regiments of enemies are still standing.
The greatest example is Royal Guard: unnamed anonymous hero, taunts when the Emperor is in trouble, takes one (... many actually) for the team, and dies allowing his master to survive and prevail. After the victory, praises will be sung over his mutilated carcass, and he'll be remembered as the hero who saved the day.
If a Tank is the last man standing in a battle, it means he failed his mission. It probably also mean you're about to lose that battle in a few seconds. And he'll die miserable and anonymous.
Other characters are totally valid Tanks: the Stormtroopers (even better when there's a Han inside the costume), Poe, Sun Fac, Nebit (well you get the idea, all those who taunt). Chewbacca is a bit of a meek one who's still afraid of danger and will make himself cozy before jumping in the water.
Scarif Pathfinder is a remorseful Tank who didn't want to die after all, and rather gets stuck in an infinite loop.
There are also Tanks who don't taunt: B2 and Anakin (honorary Tank), who just become so annoying if you keep shooting others that they somehow attract early fire on themselves. IG-100 tries the same, but not very successfully.
Now to the point of my post:
Mace Windu, Mob Enforcer, Jedi Knight Guardian are no Tanks.
Boba Fett is not a Tank.
Fives is not a Tank.
Old Ben is equally not a Tank.
And last and least, Teebo!
So I'm starting a petition to strip them of the noble Tank role! Let's call them Cows instead, which is closer to what they really are.
His idea of glory goes hand in hand with "posthumous". He's usually a very good and touching second role in movies. And then his death (shot in slow motion over 5 minutes in total silence) offers a great excuse for the (real) hero to become enraged and finish off however many regiments of enemies are still standing.
The greatest example is Royal Guard: unnamed anonymous hero, taunts when the Emperor is in trouble, takes one (... many actually) for the team, and dies allowing his master to survive and prevail. After the victory, praises will be sung over his mutilated carcass, and he'll be remembered as the hero who saved the day.
If a Tank is the last man standing in a battle, it means he failed his mission. It probably also mean you're about to lose that battle in a few seconds. And he'll die miserable and anonymous.
Other characters are totally valid Tanks: the Stormtroopers (even better when there's a Han inside the costume), Poe, Sun Fac, Nebit (well you get the idea, all those who taunt). Chewbacca is a bit of a meek one who's still afraid of danger and will make himself cozy before jumping in the water.
Scarif Pathfinder is a remorseful Tank who didn't want to die after all, and rather gets stuck in an infinite loop.
There are also Tanks who don't taunt: B2 and Anakin (honorary Tank), who just become so annoying if you keep shooting others that they somehow attract early fire on themselves. IG-100 tries the same, but not very successfully.
Now to the point of my post:
Mace Windu, Mob Enforcer, Jedi Knight Guardian are no Tanks.
Spoiler
They are a bit like cows grazing on the battle field (but we all knew that already). They'll be a minor nuisance and a bit of a pain to take down when all is said and done, but won't lift a finger to protect anyone.
Boba Fett is not a Tank.
Spoiler
He's described as a Durable Attacker, which is not far from an outright lie. Well in a way, he is durable because he's such a bad attacker.
Fives is not a Tank.
Spoiler
He is actually the opposite of a Tank. He's just a big fat selfish "bother-me-not" Hedgehog who not only won't take one for the team, but will back this up with assertive action: if by any chance damage would come his way, he'll pretty much make sure he'll return fire and make it clear you should target someone else!
Old Ben is equally not a Tank.
Spoiler
Because he'll punish you for killing him anything but last. Coward!
And last and least, Teebo!
Spoiler
Not only is he not running towards enemy fire to draw anyone's attention or fire, the little rascal is actually disappearing from the battle field!!! He pretty much makes it so that others will take one for him! Talk about camaraderie! Gilderoy Lockhart-style heroism!
So I'm starting a petition to strip them of the noble Tank role! Let's call them Cows instead, which is closer to what they really are.
