i've been doing a little digging around
Sims stuck in “Tours in Progress” section of tour book
Looks like the answer to this is to wait until you have no Sim greyed out in the left side menu (no Sim actively on tour), then change to a different active household. With a different household active, open Simport and cancel/delete the Sims you wish to cancel in the “Tours in Progress” section of the tour book. Change back to original active family.
found on wordpress blog
edit to add found crins bug thread maybe something in there to help http://forum.thesims3.com/jforum/posts/list/505859.page