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- Maladi5 years agoSeasoned Newcomer
"ThePlumbob;c-17578675" wrote:
@Maladi777Spoiler"Maladi777;c-17578567" wrote:
In my opinion Kian had more chemistry with Athena than with Carly. It was as though he started dating Carly because he couldn't have Athena. IDK.
Ooh, that's an interesting way to look at it. I did also think that Kian and Athena had chemistry, but I put a lid on that straight away because I knew it would be completely out of character for him to pursue her. So what you're saying about him getting together with Carly makes perfect sense.
Kian was always very protective of Athena to the point where it made me wonder if there's more to it. At the party it showed more than anywhere else. It's one thing to look after your best friend's girl and another to ignore your own girlfriend because of it.
I also suspected the author paired Kian with Carly for the sole purpose of him not to be a dating option for Athena when she lost her memory and/or when/if she breaks up with Curtis. :) "Maladi777;c-17578754" wrote:
"ThePlumbob;c-17578675" wrote:
@Maladi777Spoiler"Maladi777;c-17578567" wrote:
In my opinion Kian had more chemistry with Athena than with Carly. It was as though he started dating Carly because he couldn't have Athena. IDK.
Ooh, that's an interesting way to look at it. I did also think that Kian and Athena had chemistry, but I put a lid on that straight away because I knew it would be completely out of character for him to pursue her. So what you're saying about him getting together with Carly makes perfect sense.
Kian was always very protective of Athena to the point where it made me wonder if there's more to it. At the party it showed more than anywhere else. It's one thing to look after your best friend's girl and another to ignore your own girlfriend because of it.
I also suspected the author paired Kian with Carly for the sole purpose of him not to be a dating option for Athena when she lost her memory and/or when/if she breaks up with Curtis. :)
You might be on to something there!
Edit: Though now that I think about it, I wonder if it's projection to some degree. Curtis is clearly the strongest relationship in Kian's life. Could it be that he's involuntarily developed some kind of attraction to Athena not in spite of her being the "best friend's girl", but precisely because of it?"Maladi777;c-17578754" wrote:
Kian was always very protective of Athena to the point where it made me wonder if there's more to it. At the party it showed more than anywhere else. It's one thing to look after your best friend's girl and another to ignore your own girlfriend because of it.
Yes that was done deliberately to hint at something.. But I will not say anything about it. :no_mouth: :innocent: (amg You caught it! Let me know when you created a vaccine for anti probes. I'm signing myself up, but maybe I don't want to because this is kinda fun.) :lol:
@lone_cat Thank you for putting up with my story from day 1. It feels great to know I'm improving and that it is visible! I'll be replying shortly but as to GoT, I've never read the books nor have I watched the show. But I've watched enough online clips to want to watch the ending and I agree with you on the white walker conclusion. I've been given an adept summary at that point enough to know how huge a role they play as the villians so I was eager to see their end and, well, I was less emotional invested so I simply had a raised eyebrow but my so was ranting probably as long as you were and then we checked out the netizen drama online. :lol:- @ThePlumbob :smile:
WritingI think for me the main overarching theme was about losing innocence, which happens to all of us as we grow up, but to a lesser degree than our mains here. You could see that progression in everyone, Athena and Curtis obviously being the obvious choices, but to a degree this was also shown for Kirino and Masato, even the Scorcher. Which, now that I think about it, does not bode well for Kian’s next arc
True! The concept of identity is completely fluid in my story :smile: I think the static characters in B2W S1 are the Ellis family. :lol:Haha I think I may have said that, there were points in your story where I deliberately took a break, yes, but it’s nothing to do with too much action and/or thrill. I obviously had the luxury of getting to binge the story, but I didn’t want to burn through it too quickly, so I had to actively stop myself sometimes to avoid blasting through it too fast and missing things. Oh, and I specifically stopped after the lighthouse chapter because I had a feeling everything was going to go terribly wrong Some of the chapters were just really impactful (in a good way) or had mind-boggling revelations, so I wanted to take some time to digest them, but that’s really not a bad thing at all – just think of it as gorging on rich chocolate cake, you have to wait a while till you can have cake again afterwards, but that doesn’t matter you don’t like cake, on the contrary!
gotcha I completely misunderstood. Lol if I were you I’d stop at the lighthouse too. I’d probably dwell there for a bit because it’s such a nice mirage and checkpoint amidst all that happened while I get ready for more pain. :joy: And chocolate cake.. uhhh what are you doing to meee!Picture Sequences: Did you prefer the speech text organised around the subject in the picture? Or placed at the bottom and color coded?
Colour-coded at the bottom is the easiest to follow for me, hands down. It’s very clear to make sense of that way.
Do you like this randomness of switching mediums?
Yes! I like it when writers experiment! I’m not gonna lie, I would probably be sad if you said that the entirety of season 2 will be a comic, because I would miss seeing what’s going on in their heads, but I do enjoy different styles being sprinkled in. Always fun to see what you come up with (and admirable how many different storytelling platforms you manage to pull off!)
At some point I tried to add more descriptions/elaboration of the setting and ambience than moving the story along. (Chapter 14.2 and 14.21) What do you think of the writing in these chapters compared to the rest of my writing? Do you have a preference? (If there’s no difference you can say that too. ) I can’t say that I noticed they had more descriptions at the time of reading them, but 14.21 did stand out to me, it was a treat to get a peak into Masato’s perspective, it really helped me understand the way he thinks, and this was also where we got to see a glimpse of the true Kirino for the first time. So I don’t know if the reason I enjoyed these chapters was the different writing style or the subjects. Either way, occasional introspective chapters are good since they help with fleshing out your characters, but of course it’s all about balance.
Noted. I won’t be doing comic style. It’s too tiring to do all the panelling and tbh I like huge pictures so I rather put up 100 pictures like I currently do. I also find that they don’t provide enough room for thoughts so I would probably continue in a mixed medium style. Thank you for being honest. Those were my first few attempts at actively trying to include narrative bits and I feel more encouraged to try again. :smile:Not to mention that your screenshotting is one of the highlights of the story, the emotions you capture in your images are phenomenal.
I once took 5 hours (not kidding) just to get the right scene/mood/facial expression/setting right. I’m happy you think so :joy: Luckily I learnt to make poses after.If you mean some of the more explicit scenes, no, I wouldn’t say it was too much or cringey. I do recall that when Curtis and Athena first kissed, you described how her body responded quite in-depth, which surprised me, but didn’t bother me – though I also recall that I was hoping that you weren’t going to go to that level of detail on the descriptions as their relationship progresses lol!
I have wondered about including it too and personally (because I’m a prude), I would’ve preferred not to include it. But I kept it in because many s*xual assault victims feel repulsed by touch/intimacy after. Athena was experiencing a version of that in 9.4 when she said ‘Don’t touch me!’ although that was directed at herself mostly, but its there. Hence, the explicit mention of her physical sensations was an important indicator of either her feelings towards Curtis or her mind reconnecting physical contact with positive emotions. :>
If there’s no purpose I won’t put in something explicit for the sake of it. I’m not interested in.. I think they’re called smut. XDAnd then 16.5 I thought was very tastefully done, it’s not like we saw hanging bits or you launched into a full-blown description there (which for me would be cringey, yes), it was focusing much more on the feeling. So no issues there.
<3 !The only part I thought was on the cringey side was their conversation in the final chapter, but I wouldn’t call that romance, I would call that denial :P
Cringey because hard to believe? Or cringey because they were being corny? :P
CharacterSpoilerAthena is very determined when she wants something, which is both her biggest strength and weakness. She does not back down, often like a child that insists they need a particular toy – but that’s understandable, given her age, and it’s obviously helped her get through tough times.
I don’t think she particularly considers other people’s perspectives and motivations; she is very focused on her own view of the world. I wouldn’t go as far as to say self-centred, per say, but I feel like she has to actively try to empathise with others. But again, that’s to be expected, given that up until the events of B2W she lived a very sheltered life.
She will do anything for the people she cares about though. Too much, even, at her own detriment. I wonder if that will change now, given everything she’s been through, now that she’s realised she’s not invincible. Then again, maybe now that she has the tome, she thinks she is!
I don’t think there’s a single answer to this one. I almost see her at a crossroads right now, with several directions you could nudge her in, with one tiny gentle push. She is in a place where she can change for the better, or for the worse, and either would be believable. I’m pretty sure the untamed magic stuff will have an effect on her though, so I personally foresee the latter, but hey maybe she’ll surprise me!
Ahh I’m glad I conveyed her right, except that I would be a little harsher and say she’s self-centered. I don’t mean she’s selfish. If she knows of a loved one’s needs she will go out of her way to provide for it, but her focus is on self preservation.Honestly, that moment for me was just a reminder of “oh yeah, she’s 16” (or was she 15 at that point? I know she turns 16 at some point in the story but can’t remember if it was before or after this chapter). So it was believable, but it goes back to what I said about her childish stubbornness. It felt like a realistic reminder of her age. I mean, he’s her first love, and she’s just been through some traumatising stuff she can’t bear to face alone in this chapter. Of course she’ll believe that.
Lol yeah she just turned 16. Her death day at the lighthouse was her 16th birthday if it helps makes things clearer.This one is much more difficult for me to answer because I’m aware of my personal bias, so I know it’s much harder for me to objective here – so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I’m asking for personal opinions as much as objectivity so don’t worry about it.I think he’s not as numb to the world as he’d like to be, he puts on this careful front he’s cultivated but his emotions ultimately rule him. He’s obviously grown quite desensitised to his environment as he’s had to, and when he’s confronted with what he contributes to, it doesn’t sit right with him, because he’d like to tell himself he’s the good guy, just on a quest for revenge, so when he actually gets a look in the mirror (whether that be circumstances, like the aftermath of 6.4, or Athena calling him out on what he fears to be in 10.5), he doesn’t like what he sees.
:cookie: <3Fleshed out, yes. Realistic in the sense that I understand his motivations, yes. Realistic in the sense of if somebody went through what he did, they would still keep it together and not become completely deranged… probably not. But that’s why I love him.
He has Rue to thank for his compassion and sanity :lol: And his thirst for revenge to drive him after she’s gone.Did you find it strange that he cared for Athena with his background staring at violence every day?
Not really, I mean he was subconsciously looking for something to ground him, someone to tell him he’s not completely lost to the world in spite of it all, something to give him a reason to go on once the Scorcher hunt was done, should he survive. Escapism is a natural response to high pressure situations. That, and Athena didn’t exactly give him a choice And he’s a teenage boy, a pretty girl that’s clearly into him and not a part of his world would obviously be very appealing.
Ahh! I see what you mean. :smiley: That's true!Is Masato a believable character?Does his character/personality, his motivations, and actions make sense to you? Is his love for Kirino surprising? Does his metaphoric speech make sense to you? Did the final reveal provide ample explanation of all the schemey scenes he was portrayed in throughout the story? Did everything make sense?
I didn’t really understand his motivations until later on in the story when we got to see things from his point of view, but that was obviously deliberate. I like how complex he is, and hope to see more of him in season 2.
His love of Kirino is not surprising, they had so much history and were of course forever bonded by the loss of their son. I did find his arch sufficiently explained, but I find him and Kirino fascinating so I wouldn’t mind a pre-quel/spinoff, and I definitely hope that this is not the last of what we’ve seen of him.
You’ll see him in S2! His story is not over :)4.Is Kirino a believable character? Does her character, desires and actions (including final action) make sense to you?
Yes. I initially didn’t know what to make of her, but I really fell in love with her when we saw what was underneath her mask. She was one of my favourites, and it breaks my heart she’s gone, but her actions were not unexpected.
Was her ‘flashback’ chapter believable?
Yes. My favourite chapter in the whole story.
Do you think she loves Masato (at the end)?
Oh, that’s a loaded question. Hmm… I’m not sure if she had much room for anything other than pain in her heart at the end. In a way, she did probably did still love him to some degree, though I’d imagine she didn’t want to.
Were Masato and Kirino’s complicated relationship believable?
Yes. I wish we got more of them, but just the little snippets we did painted a very rich picture.
I don’t think I can say anything else except I’m happy you like her and her features :)Is Scorcher a believable character? Does his character, desires and actions make sense to you? (I think I gave him a monologue and two lines of dialogue explaining his perspective on life lol)
Hmm I don’t know if we know enough about him to dissect him as a character. We obviously know he’s suffered a personal tragedy that’s made him snap and take pleasure in the pain of others to avoid his own, but I can’t say I can analyse what makes him tick That being said I don’t feel like that a higher level of deeper understanding was needed for him.
:lol: That is true. There isn't much to go on to explain his entire character but I'm glad the bits that were portrayed provided some sort of an explanation.What do you think about Kian? Then Carly?
I love Kian! He brought much needed light to the story, which I guess was his primary function. I adore that he says it how it is and sassy sense of humour. No wonder he was popular with the ladies at school.
I'm honestly so surprised at his genuine likability. I was very worried (for nothing apparently) at the beginning as I fleshed out his character that Kian will be disliked given his loud laissez-faire brash attitude :lol:Carly I wasn’t too keen on, though to my surprise I didn’t mind her with Kian in the finale, they seemed well suited. That being said I won’t be mad if someone better comes along for him. Though I feel like where he’s going it will be a lot less dating and a lot more danger.
8. What do you think/feel about Dew?
I actually really liked Dew ever since she was introduced – by that I don’t mean the chapter where her drink got spiked, but the chapter where she actually got dialogue - 10.5, I think? She obviously holds no illusions of the world in spite of her young age, and doesn’t mince her words, but there’s a lot of truth behind what she says. I hope she’s back for season 2!
9. What do you think about Grim?
Grim was hilarious, in spite of his story being sad, and I loved the genuine bond he developed with Athena, even though that was ultimately his undoing (I see what you did there!). He was a fantastic vehicle to explain the lore of the magic realm, and the revelation about his true identity was a cherry on top, I did not see that coming!
Aw Thank you for all your answers I had fun reading them all and sorry I can’t reply some of them because they are direct spoilers but this isn’t the last time you’ve seen… any of them. (Except the ones we've lost.) :pensive: - next part!Spoiler
- What did you think about the comic strip ch. 6.4? Did it adequately summarise Curtis's role? Were there any plot holes? Any thoughts on its delivery?
I think I have written it already in the comments. It is well done.
- What do you think of Athena and Curtis's Not-date scene at the promenade?
I think it was kinda cute. I'm not a fan of throwing food, tho XD
- What do you think of the progression of Athena and Curtis’s relationship from strangers to lovers?
- Did it flow realistically? Did any parts feel forced or too fast?
- Their romance was never intended to be ‘pure’, even if it started out that way. Did you catch it as a reader? Did you realise at any point a shift beginning to happen? Where? Did you catch yourself responding to it?
- How would you describe their romance/relationship?
I always had the feeling it came more from her side than from his.
At first she may have been just curious, and then thought herself into having a crush (idk if that makes sense, like, you keep thinking about someone more and more, until you feel like you have a crush on them), and then stubborn enough to pursue a relationship bc he was so different than anyone she knew (also, let's be honest, someone that risks their life for you will always be somehow attractive, even if it was just out of plain human decency ;) )
He on the other side, seemed very passive, and it feels he rather dated her bc she was pursuing him. Then she's cute, has courage, and is always supportive about him. What's not to like here?
The whole relationship feels more like one out of convenience and curiosity, but what exactly it is worth, will probably only be shown in S2.
So far they had almost zero time spending as a couple, and when they finally had towards the end, the real problem surfaced.
They don't understand each other.
Athena wants him to leave his world and live a normal life, but he doesn't want to (or he would have done that long time ago), and he is still longing for that always supportive, always sweet girl she once was.
I know in the last chapter they had a talk, but that is not enough. I also don't think Curtis giving up his life for Athena will work. He needs to want it by himself. And I doubt Athena understands fully what it means to have a criminal mindset (bc that's what Curtis has, he was raised like that)
- Grim's explanation of the cycle of life/death: Do you have any pressing questions? What else would you have liked to know?
Tbh I have trouble remembering it. Also, I am probably a minority, but I care very little about world lore xD I'm more interested in current happenings and character development.
- What do you think of Curtis's neighborhood shown from Athena's perspective? Was it believable? Did it make you respond in any way? (thoughts or feelings) Was it effective in its delivery of mood/message/setting? Did it make what comes after (Mercy) believable/possible?
I'm glad it wasn't romanticized, including the people that live in it. I think I have mentioned my oppinion on it a few times already :sweat_smile:
- What is your view on ‘Mercy’ chapters (Assault)? Were they handled appropriately? Can they be handled better? Did they deter you from reading further? Did they change your impression of the story? Were you expecting them?
I was shook. I didn't expect to see this happening for real. Also I think it was well handled.
- What is your view on ‘Memories’ chapter (Curtis)? Were they handled appropriately? Were they portrayed realistically? Were they and the characters portrayed believable? Were the scenes portrayed, haunting enough for Curtis to revolve his entire life around revenge and locking Scorcher away?
These chapters made me really, really sad. I think the only ray of light was Rue, and I think she may be the most unrealistic part of it!
Sadly the things that happen in the real world, are often much, much worse than what we see in fiction.
- There is a darkness that looms over chapters 14.4, 16.4 and 16.5. Was the mood obvious to you or too subtle? Did it affect these chapters and your desire to read them?
14.3 & 4. were def some of my favourite chapters. I love genius and smart villains, and Masato is someone I fear and respect a lot!
16.4/5. It was dirty. I can't find any other words for it. I really enjoyed the pictures and the narrative though. In a way, Curt's possessiveness makes perfect sense if you look where he comes from, and what he thinks he may lose.
The more I think about it, the more I like what you wrote there. Ahhhh, all that potential for character development, or- destruction >:)
What do you think of Avery's revelation/Athena losing her memory in Chapters 15.1 - 15.4. How was the pacing? Did it feel realistic? Did any feel forced? What do you think of Avery's backstory? Was it believable that Athena didn't realise what she was doing?
Finally there was the magic that I was always looking for in this story! :joy: jk. But it was very entertaining. I love the hints that Athena may subdue to the power that was given to her eventually.
- What do you think of the NSFW poem chapter? Was the poem hard to decipher? Did the pictures make the process tougher? Was it a cringe chapter?
I did like the poem. Now it may be a language barrier, but I couldn't really apply it much to the pictures. the summary at the end helped.
No, I didn't think it was cringy.
Did all of these scenarios make sense to you? Were they believable?
- Curtis kept in the dark about his identity
why do you even ask? No sane abuser in his right mind would tell him he's the son of the CIA boss :joy:
- Curtis having his own home
well I guess the other option would be to be some of his gang member's room mate? I guess he made enough money to be able to afford it tho.
- Curtis being able to survive despite his lifestyle at such a young age
He had a tough training, possibly with a lot of brain washing. Some people may have lived through worse.
- Curtis’s complete out of character aggression, manipulation and exploitation of Athena at Trevor’s house
If you think more about it, it actually wasn't out of character. Look at his training, his upbringing, the role models he had. He may have some natural goodness in him, something he learned from Rue, and he's able to form genuine affection. He found Athena, and she became very precious to him, now that he feels threatened to lose her, he can only react according to what he has learned, fight for her with claws and teeth. I think it that moment he is not able to see that he trespasses a boundary he never should.
In CH17 you hinted that he felt something was wrong there, but if he can truly change, only time can tell.
- Athena’s complete out of character aggression, loosened and unhinged behavior at Trevor’s house
It may have been the bigger break between the chapters when I read them, but I was confused at first. It makes more sense once you think what she has lost.
- Trevor’s fixation on Athena
One always wants what's hard to get, huh? :smirk: - @mercuryfoam Are you going to continue working on Yanzi's story, or are you going to start on B2W's second season?
- @Maladi777 Oooh you didn't disappoint at all! <3 I hope this all makes sense!Spoiler
1. What are Athena's strengths and weaknesses? What do you think of Athena’s Character progression/development? How would you describe her?
- Is her character realistic? Is she adequately fleshed out for reader understanding?
- Any bits of her that you find confusing?
- What kind of person do you think she has become at the end of this story? What kind of person do you predict her to be in B2W?
- She insists that Curtis is relatable and her soulmate at the lighthouse scene. Did you find her insistence of them being made for each other believable? Do you have a theory why she thinks so? (I’ve never elaborated on this)
First of all I have to admit I couldn't help but compare Athena to one of my characters constantly as I was reading. She's a red head too after all. And of course whenever I found something about Athena's behavior and its believability I asked myself at the same time if I don't do the same when I write Kellie. If I found similarities I'd slap my hand not to criticize.
Is Athena's character realistic? How can one answer that? She has magical powers so that itself makes her unrealistic from the start. There's one problem with characters who have superpowers - the writer can always use the superpower/magic as a crutch, an easy explanation of any behavior or event. There needs to be balance for this to work. There must be rules, laws of the magic if you will that ensure this balance. I hesitate to make any judgements here as I'm super sensitive when it comes to characters that can do things a normal person shouldn't be capable of. Then again I myself walk a thin line with one of my own, so it's terribly difficult to give an objective opinion.
I could call Athenna reckless and then you could argue that she had confidence that she'd be able to defend herself with her magic. So what she is like when we take away the magic? Clearly someone who has uncontrollable desire to help and fix things and people. In that regard she is believable. Still a naive teenager, who believes she can fix anything by sheer force of her will and persistence. We saw her do some self-reflection at the end of the season and I think she should do more. She should look back and ask herself if all the pain was worth pursuing the man who is torn between two worlds and after all that happened isn't any closer to making a decision in which of those two worlds he wants to belong 100% I'm hoping she will make a serious attempt to extricate herself from that relationship. But given her bad luck she'll most likely end up in another unhealthy relationship. I didn't think about why she thinks she and Curtis were made for each other. Isn't it something people always think when they fall in love for the first time? That this is the perfect love that must surely last forever no matter what everyone else says?
Whaaat? Kellie is heaps more mature and level-headed okay. That’s like comparing a headless chicken to a zenmaster. You need to level the playing field and give Kellie someone of her calibre to do a comparison with. :lol:
For Athena, we can still dissect if her character is realistic or not from a personality point of view. Athena’s magic is simply one aspect to complicate her character, just like her celebrity status, product/victim of bullying and s*xual trauma. The origin or reasons to why she acquired a particular personality trait may be unrealistic, but how it affects the character is still valid. (I.e. your reasoning for her recklessness is solid because you’re right -- magic could’ve given her an over-inflated sense of security, which could’ve drove her to be as reckless as she was in Ch 8.4 and 9.1.) Maybe I could’ve reworded this question better but I’m not sure how. To clear things up, I was simply trying to see if I’ve portrayed a teenager with parent, reputation, self-esteem, and s*xual trauma issues adequately and responsibly while letting her own personality shine. :smile:
Yup, there are rules that govern the magic in B2W universe. And I think you can guess some of the limits, drawbacks, consequences and counterbalances of Magic and how it affects the laws of their world. But this is a question I would probably ask at the end of S2 than now. You are free to let me know what you think of the lore so far. Though there’s so little of it at this point :lol:
Omg and I love love love that you pointed out the reason for my title! Between Two Worlds is exactly that -- a bunch of sims stuck between two worlds. I think the only person not stuck between 2 worlds is Jules. He’s trying to get rid of the other world. :joy:Spoiler2. What are Curtis's strength and weaknesses? What do you think of Curtis’s Character progression/development? How would you describe him?
- Is he realistic and adequately fleshed out for reader understanding?
- Did you find it strange that he cared for Athena with his background staring at violence every day?
With Curtis I have the same problem as with Athena. She has magic and Curtis is portrayed as a prodigy. Whenever you question something he does, you need to take this into account. His weakness is definitely the fact that he's not able to face the truth about himself. He keeps deluding himself he can quit anytime he wants and live anormal life, be a better man. Scratch that. He believes he is better man than the rest he's working with. Even after he killed a man he still believes it. What he doesn't realize is that even the worst criminals often think themselves good people. Someone needs to hold the mirror up to him. I kind of wish Kian does it at some point.
With Curtis I’d present the same stance as Athena, he may be a HPI, but he is also a product of his circumstance. We can still dissect his character and see if the author has portrayed the effects of his upbringing, trauma and social background enough for his character to seem realistic. Maybe I’ve used the wrong words. :>5.Were Masato and Kirino’s complicated relationship believable?
Yes. It was tragic and beautiful. Definitely one of the highlights of this story.
I’m so glad you like Kirino and Masato :smiley:6.Is Scorcher a believable character? Does his character, desires and actions make sense to you? (I think I gave him a monologue and two lines of dialogue explaining his perspective on life lol)
I have mixed feelings about him. I can (and can't at the same time) understand why he took his anger on the son of the man who betrayed them. But why did he hurt others? The woman who Curtis lived with for instance. (Apologies for not remembering the names of all side characters) Did he lose his mind? Why didn't he hurt Masato too then? I may have forgot or missed some key hints about his characters, I admit.
Ahh totally understand. I didn’t give him much screen time at all so I’m pretty sure he’s a confusing character for everyone.
Scorcher is not a completely insane character, but he’s still deranged. Rue and Curtis are replacements for his dead wife and child. From them, he demands love/acceptance but Rue is not his wife and extremely strong in character while Curtis is, well, his enemy’s son. Scorcher flits between providing for and punishing them for not being his ‘true family’. Scorcher and Masato’s brotherhood have always been strong. In that sense, Masato is considered ‘family’ which casts a fragile layer of protection over Kirino. (Hence why he has no qualms of hitting her.) The rest of the world can burn in hell. (p.s. Scorcher's wife is in the photo of 14.2 which might explain why he wanted Rue.)7. What do you think about Kian? Then Carly?
I like Kian and his warm and friendly character. Curtis has a better friend in him than he deserves in my opinion. I'm afraid I don't care much for Carly yet. I wondered why you paired them up. Again, maybe I'm missing something, but I simply didn't feel any chemistry between those two characters. To me it felt like one moment they weren't a couple and next they were. In my opinion Kian had more chemistry with Athena than with Carly. It was as though he started dating Carly because he couldn't have Athena. IDK.
This is content for S2 :)9. What do you think about Grim?
What can I say? I'm glad I wasn't wrong and that he is who he is. I only wish he stopped playing a match maker. That doesn't suit him. I don't want him to be a friendly grandpa, if you know what I mean. Now that you revealed that he was manipulative, I'd like to see his character become something more powerful and sinister. Wishful thinking, yeah.
Maybe :)
Thank you for your replies! I hope mine shed some light too! Let me know if anything doesn’t make sense. - @DeafSimmer Hiya thanks for asking. I'm doing questions and reflection for B2W this week but next week I fully expect myself to return to Yanzi's story. For B2W Season 2, it will take a much longer time to tie my story together so I won't be writing down anything for B2W for the next month or so. It will be worked on in the background as I focus on Yanzi instead :)
- @lone_cat
There are definitely times when I’ve questioned my story and writing. The concept of ‘free’ writing was lost to me when I first started and I had a rigid thinking pattern assuming there’s a formula, guideline, threshold, limit or structure one must follow. (I’m in a technical field haha) Hence why I was worried about the ‘darkness’ in my story but from yours and everyone’s replies, I realised that this question ultimately is a reflection of my worries on whether I’ve crossed a (imaginary) line per se. This sharing has been incredibly helpful and definitely opening my eyes to story writing as a free art and that I’m allowed give rein to creativity and freedom of expression. :smile:
Also:SpoilerHow do you feel about the ending?
To me, it was more like a transition into the next story. There were a lot of loose ends (not to say that is bad, some loose ends can be okay, and I think that real-life situations don't always get neatly resolved). I think I would have liked Athena and Curtis to break up instead of just be left in this relationship limbo (maybe I just like solid conclusions for romance stories). I thought the Grim story arc, came to a good conclusion, and I enjoyed that. I was curious about Athena's mom and brother, and what happened there.
You're right, it is a transition :) I think I’ve expressed to you in the comments how I was choosing between three different endings. I was torn between two in particular. One had a solid conclusion, utilised the story elements better (memory loss) and would equally be able to transition into the next season smoothly. I didn’t choose that obviously. The current ending for B2W is open to interpretation, made certain story elements seem irrelevant and definitely had AC leave a bad taste with everyone. Sorry about that :sweat_smile: S2 will definitely have solid conclusions because that will be the finale. I won’t make a S3.
I’m glad Grim is a favourite <3 He’s such a sweetheart in his own way. I’m surprised (very pleasant) to see Masato and Kirino on your list too. Thank you for your feedback and your sharing. I truly appreciate it :smile: - @candycottonchu
<3SpoilerI always had the feeling it came more from her side than from his.
At first she may have been just curious, and then thought herself into having a crush (idk if that makes sense, like, you keep thinking about someone more and more, until you feel like you have a crush on them), and then stubborn enough to pursue a relationship bc he was so different than anyone she knew (also, let's be honest, someone that risks their life for you will always be somehow attractive, even if it was just out of plain human decency )
He on the other side, seemed very passive, and it feels he rather dated her bc she was pursuing him. Then she's cute, has courage, and is always supportive about him. What's not to like here?
The whole relationship feels more like one out of convenience and curiosity, but what exactly it is worth, will probably only be shown in S2.
So far they had almost zero time spending as a couple, and when they finally had towards the end, the real problem surfaced.
They don't understand each other.
Athena wants him to leave his world and live a normal life, but he doesn't want to (or he would have done that long time ago), and he is still longing for that always supportive, always sweet girl she once was.
I know in the last chapter they had a talk, but that is not enough. I also don't think Curtis giving up his life for Athena will work. He needs to want it by himself. And I doubt Athena understands fully what it means to have a criminal mindset (bc that's what Curtis has, he was raised like that)
I see where you’re coming from. So much perspective has been given from Athena’s point of view. For Curtis, we’re forced to make a decision on the rare times that his pov is featured and the rest from his actions. Is what is shown enough to show his feelings for her? Is he pushing her away for her or his benefit? Are there deeper feelings behind his actions? Do those feelings match hers in strength and meaning?
I think I’ve explained the hidden nuances (well it’s not really hidden or nuance but I’m not sure what to call it) in the final chapter. So I don’t want to bore you again here :sweat_smile:14.3 & 4. were def some of my favourite chapters. I love genius and smart villains, and Masato is someone I fear and respect a lot!
16.4/5. It was dirty. I can't find any other words for it. I really enjoyed the pictures and the narrative though. In a way, Curt's possessiveness makes perfect sense if you look where he comes from, and what he thinks he may lose.
The more I think about it, the more I like what you wrote there. Ahhhh, all that potential for character development, or- destruction
I’ve said this and I’ll say it again. Thank you so much for calling out the chapter as it is -- dirty is the perfect word. In fact, I’m considering renaming the chapter to it. Possession is good but dirty is perfect.I did like the poem. Now it may be a language barrier, but I couldn't really apply it much to the pictures. the summary at the end helped. No, I didn't think it was cringy.
Ah my bad. The poem is the meaning of their actions in the pictures. If Athena and Curtis were to stop all movement and had to express themselves through dialogue, that would be what they say to each other in those moments (maybe not as poetically but you know :lol: ). Instead, they didn’t and went along with their plans. So my reason for pairing the poem and pictures together was to imply that even though no words were spoken, the poem was the true meaning behind their kisses -- a goodbye to who they once were (Yimi’s interpretation), an expression of pain and loss (Plumbob’s), or something much deeper (lone_cat’s) etc. (I’m crediting the idea to the owner because they aren't mine and there’s no right or wrong. In fact everything is pretty much spot on because there’s so many ways to view this chapter.)If you think more about it, it actually wasn't out of character. Look at his training, his upbringing, the role models he had. He may have some natural goodness in him, something he learned from Rue, and he's able to form genuine affection. He found Athena, and she became very precious to him, now that he feels threatened to lose her, he can only react according to what he has learned, fight for her with claws and teeth. I think it that moment he is not able to see that he trespasses a boundary he never should.
In CH17 you hinted that he felt something was wrong there, but if he can truly change, only time can tell.
Here is a cookie <3 :cookie: That was beautiful to read.
Thank you so much. I didn’t reply everything but that’s because they were valuable feedback which were clear and everything was immensely helpful. :>
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