Between2Worlds [Story] 06/04

What did you think about the comic strip ch. 6.4? Did it adequately summarise Curtis's role? Were there any plot holes? Any thoughts on its delivery?
I don’t read a lot of comics, but I thought it was easy to follow. I might have had to read a few thought bubbles over, but overall, I think it was easy to follow. I did have to go back because I didn’t realize there were multiple pages, lol. That was my bad. I thought it was excellently done, I loved the insight into Curtis’s involvement in the criminal underworld. The poses were great and conveyed the scene very well.
- What do you think of Athena and Curtis's Not-date scene at the promenade?
I thought it was a nice lighter chapter. If I remember correctly, it was the first time that Athena and Curtis shared a sort of romantic connection with one another and I thought it was a nice change from all the hardship they were facing.
- What do you think of the progression of Athena and Curtis’s relationship from strangers to lovers?
- Did it flow realistically? Did any parts feel forced or too fast?
- Their romance was never intended to be ‘pure’, even if it started out that way. Did you catch it as a reader? Did you realise at any point a shift beginning to happen? Where? Did you catch yourself responding to it?
I got the feeling from the very beginning that they were going to be lovers, so I expected it. I think Athena is very naïve about the whole relationship though. Like she wants to ‘save’ Curtis or change him. And Curtis is set in his ways and secretive.
I do think the scene after Athena almost dying in the graveyard showed a shift in Curtis’s personality. He became a little pushy, and this caused Athena to have a flashback to the Mercy chapter. I don’t think he intended this at all. He wasn’t doing it in a malicious way, but he was being a little overbearing. I think both characters are young and inexperienced and are testing the waters in this relationship. Also, they’ve had a lot bad stuff happen that is really testing their limits. Also, he was a little pushy at the end and kind of took advantage of Athena when she was intoxicated.

- How would you describe their romance/relationship?
I’d also call it a teenage love story (they are teenagers after all, lol) with two people that come from very different backgrounds. I think Athena puts a little too much stock in the power of love and maybe doesn’t have a clear vision on how to achieve that goal. They are both very young, and I think this is portrayed really well and explains a lot of why they do the things they do.
- Grim's explanation of the cycle of life/death: Do you have any pressing questions? What else would you have liked to know?
I actually don’t remember what he said, and now I am going to have to go back and read that chapter.
- What do you think of Curtis's neighborhood shown from Athena's perspective? Was it believable? Did it make you respond in any way? (thoughts or feelings) Was it effective in its delivery of mood/message/setting? Did it make what comes after (Mercy) believable/possible?
I think it was well done. I think it was a major shock to her to see what was happening, and I think this was conveyed well through the pictures and writing. And also, her innocence is being taken away, in more ways than one.
- What is your view on ‘Mercy’ chapters (Assault)? Were they handled appropriately? Can they be handled better? Did they deter you from reading further? Did they change your impression of the story? Were you expecting them?
I did see the transition, so I expected something bad to happen. I think they were handled appropriately, and you gave a content warning.
- What is your view on ‘Memories’ chapter (Curtis)? Were they handled appropriately? Were they portrayed realistically? Were they and the characters portrayed believable? Were the scenes portrayed, haunting enough for Curtis to revolve his entire life around revenge and locking Scorcher away?
I think this was portrayed realistically. His mother figure was continually abused and then killed by Scorcher, and I think that would be enough motivation for Curtis.
- There is a darkness that looms over chapters 14.4, 16.4 and 16.5. Was the mood obvious to you or too subtle? Did it affect these chapters and your desire to read them?
I think it was obvious, especially in 16.5. That’s where I got a little confused with the poem, because I interpreted the darker themes, and saw a lot about death and betrayal. So yes, I definitely picked up on the darkness.
What do you think of Avery's revelation/Athena losing her memory in Chapters 15.1 - 15.4. How was the pacing? Did it feel realistic? Did any feel forced? What do you think of Avery's backstory? Was it believable that Athena didn't realise what she was doing?
I enjoyed this revelation, but it also opened up some new questions and now I really want to know who the hooded figure was. I thought it felt realistic as it could, being that magic was involved. Yes, I think Avery wanted to hide that from Athena to protect her.
- What do you think of the NSFW poem chapter? Was the poem hard to decipher? Did the pictures make the process tougher? Was it a cringe chapter?
I admit, I am not the best at deciphering poems. I usually can see a whole bunch of possible meanings to something, but what the author wants to convey might not be in my interpretation. I constantly have to look up song lyrics, because I’m like, what does this song actually mean, instead of what I think it means. I think I talked about that in my comments, and your description of what was going on helped me understand it. I didn’t think it was cringey, and I liked the darkness to it.
Did all of these scenarios make sense to you? Were they believable?
- Curtis kept in the dark about his identity
Yes, it was used as a way to manipulate him, so it made sense.
- Curtis having his own home
I’m guessing he makes pretty good money from working with Masato, so he could afford his own place.
- Curtis being able to survive despite his lifestyle at such a young age
I think it makes sense because Masato and Kirino took him under their wing.
- Curtis’s complete out of character aggression, manipulation and exploitation of Athena at Trevor’s house
Yes, I think it makes sense. Curtis just had a confrontation and almost died, with Scorcher, so he’s probably pretty shaken up and emotional. Plus, he walks in and finds Athena with another guy and she doesn’t remember Curtis, so I think it makes a lot of sense. He is taking his claim over Athena.
- Athena’s complete out of character aggression, loosened and unhinged behavior at Trevor’s house
Yes. She was upset about her mother hiding things from her, and I think she’s a teenager and she gave into peer pressure. Plus, Trevor was taking advantage of this.
- Trevor’s fixation on Athena
He seems like the type of guy that likes a challenge, and Athena is just that. So I definitly see this. Plus, some random guy just walked into his house all bruised up and is trying to get with Athena, so I think it explains his fixation on the situation as a whole.

- Were there any themes that stood out for you in this story? How do you think I handled them?
I think teenage self-discovery was a major theme. Young love, loss of innocence, loss of a loved one. I think the themes were handled well.
- What do you think of my balancing action/non-action scenes, thrill/non-thrill? Were you able to wind down before the next one, or is the story's arrangement fine with you? Some have told me they needed to take a break from the story because it was so uh full on(?). How was it for you?
I thought there was a good balance.
I tend to take breaks in stories anyway, but I found if I went too long between reading, I would forget certain plot points, especially with the criminal underground or with the Grim storyline. I almost feel like I should reread it again, now that it is finished, because I think I may have missed things. A few of the chapters were very impactful, so I did have to take a short break after reading to process what I had read, but this isn't a bad thing, it just means that certain chapters were thought-provoking.
- There’s a shift in my writing style/length between chapter 1-5 and the rest of the story. I also experimented with different mediums. What do you think of:
• The comic strip? Was its organisation easy to follow? Were the Speech bubbles clear who’s talking and who’s next?
It was easy to follow. I may have gotten lost a couple of times, but it was easy to go back and figure out who was talking.
• Picture Sequences: Did you prefer the speech text organised around the subject in the picture? Or placed at the bottom and color coded?
I think the color coding was easiest to follow. Though, I did like the lighthouse scene with the speech text.
• Do you like this randomness of switching mediums?
I’m kind of old fashioned and liked the chapters with just pictures and text separate.
• At some point I tried to add more descriptions/elaboration of the setting and ambience than moving the story along. (Chapter 14.2 and 14.21) What do you think of the writing in these chapters compared to the rest of my writing? Do you have a preference? (If there’s no difference you can say that too. )
I do like the descriptions; it made the reading much more immersive. And it was good to get slower chapters. I think that it helped with the pacing of the overall story.
- I overly rely on pictures to describe the setting than write it out. Does this style work for you?
I think it works well, and I don’t feel like there are too many pictures. It’s simlit, so pictures should be the focal point, and I think it works well. Your poses convey a lot of emotion and your editing also helps to convey a lot of unspoken dialogue.
- Romance is hard to write and personal. There are some scenes and pictures that were too much for me in the story, but I’m a conservative person. How were they for you? Were any of them cringey? If yes, which one? so I can work on those. And do you have suggestions?
I didn’t see anything overly cringey. I thought all the romance scenes were tasteful and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. I agree with the romance part being personal. Romance is hard to write, and what is overly cringey for one person might not be for another.


1. What are Athena's strengths and weaknesses? What do you think of Athena’s Character progression/development? How would you describe her?
I would say she is stubborn, and naïve. She wants to do what’s right, but sometimes she goes ahead without thinking things through and this gets her into trouble. She also doesn't take advice from others very well, and kind of has an attitude that she knows best. This could also be because she is a teenager, and thinks she knows better and doesn't want to take advice from her elders.
- Is her character realistic? Is she adequately fleshed out for reader understanding?
Yes, I think so.
- Any bits of her that you find confusing?
None that I can think of.
- What kind of person do you think she has become at the end of this story? What kind of person do you predict her to be in B2W?
I don't know for certain, but I'll just throw out some of my thoughts.
I think she will use the book for her own gain, and this will have a lot of negative consequences, what, I'm not sure. That's the only prediction I will make because I just want to read and be surprised. I could see her having many different outcomes depending on the choices she makes.
- She insists that Curtis is relatable and her soulmate at the lighthouse scene. Did you find her insistence of them being made for each other believable? Do you have a theory why she thinks so? (I’ve never elaborated on this)
I don’t really know if it’s believable to me personally. While I’m a romantic, I also don’t completely jump on board with the whole soulmate thing. But Athena as a character believes in soulmates, and I think that it fits with her character. I did like the lighthouse scene and I think it was the first time that we really got to see how each one feels about the other. I don't really have any theories, other than maybe it has something to do with Athena being a spellcaster? Not sure.
2. What are Curtis's strength and weaknesses? What do you think of Curtis’s Character progression/development? How would you describe him?
I think he is a little bit of a loner. He also takes on too much and doesn't ask for help. He tries to protect people by being secretive and in a way thinks he knows best. He became very protective of Athena in the end, which I understand from his past.
- Is he realistic and adequately fleshed out for reader understanding?
Yes, I think so.
- Did you find it strange that he cared for Athena with his background staring at violence every day?
I don’t find it strange at all. He is human, and is capable of feeling a range of emotions regardless of violence. I don't think he is as desensitized to his lifestyle as he lets on. I think maybe he admires and even envies Athena's innocence and her way of looking at life, and this might be one of the many reasons he wants to protect her.
I know I did a lot of explaining of Masato and Kirino’s character in the comments. But without the comments and purely relying on story:
3.Is Masato a believable character?Does his character/personality, his motivations, and actions make sense to you? Is his love for Kirino surprising? Does his metaphoric speech make sense to you? Did the final reveal provide ample explanation of all the schemey scenes he was portrayed in throughout the story? Did everything make sense?
Yes, I really liked his character. I don't have a very thorough answer because I have forgotten a lot of what he said, but I wasn't confused by any of the scenes. He was a very morally grey character to me, so I enjoyed learning about him and also seeing a softer side to him toward the end.
4.Is Kirino a believable character? Does her character, desires and actions (including final action ) make sense to you?
- Did her scene at the end come as a complete surprise? Were there enough clues given throughout the story for you to find her condition at the end believable/acceptable?
- Was her ‘flashback’ chapter believable?
- Do you think she loves Masato (at the end)?
This is a hard one to answer. I think she cares for him, yes, but I think she’s been in a very depressed state and that has kind of taken over her life and she’s probably just going through the motions at this point. I do think that she felt like she wasn’t in control of anything, and this was really her only means of taking back control. I don’t think it was a surprise, people can hide their true thoughts and feelings and Kirino kept a lot of things bottled up. We also didn’t really get a good look at her personality and motivations until later, so this was believable when we learned more about her.
5.Were Masato and Kirino’s complicated relationship believable?
Yes, I think so. They worked together and at one time, seemed happy together, but due to the nature of their work and the loss of their child, this sort of drove them apart. It was really complex, and I enjoyed learning about both of these characters.
6.Is Scorcher a believable character? Does his character, desires and actions make sense to you? (I think I gave him a monologue and two lines of dialogue explaining his perspective on life lol)
I don’t really remember his motivations, I just remember him being a really nasty person. I’m sure he had reasons for what he did. Like control and feeling superior.
7. What do you think about Kian? Then Carly?
I like Kian. He’s a good guy, and truly cares about Athena and Curtis. I didn’t really like Carly from the beginning. She’s kind of bossy, and I really don’t know what Kian sees in her. I don’t really think the two of them will last. Kian doesn’t seem as invested in the relationship as Carly does.
8. What do you think/feel about Dew?
I think Dew is well portrayed, she’s kind of rough around the edges, but I imagine her lifestyle has made her that way. And she tells it like she sees it, and I think it is good to have characters that can dole out some tough love.
9. What do you think about Grim?
I loved Grim in this. He was such a cool character. And I completely didn’t see the twist. Now I will have to go back and reread this and look for clues that I missed.

- Were there any themes that stood out for you in this story? How do you think I handled them?
this story had quite a few themes. coming of age, finding yourself, but also serious themes like crime, manipulation and trauma. I think they were all handled appropriately.
- What do you think of my balancing action/non-action scenes, thrill/non-thrill? Were you able to wind down before the next one, or is the story's arrangement fine with you? Some have told me they needed to take a break from the story because it was so uh full on(?). How was it for you?
I think it was fine. I didn't read it in one go (didn't had the time), but I like it when a story is dense and has multiple layers and lots of actions.
- There’s a shift in my writing style/length between chapter 1-5 and the rest of the story. I also experimented with different mediums. What do you think of:
The comic strip? Was its organisation easy to follow? Were the Speech bubbles clear who’s talking and who’s next?
I think I have commented that I think the comic is very well done.
Picture Sequences: Did you prefer the speech text organised around the subject in the picture? Or placed at the bottom and color coded?
I am not sure. Aesthetically it's prettier to have the text at the bottom. But I usually struggle a little to connect text and speaker, so a (Name):(text) would be helpful for me when the text is at the bottom, but that also interrupts the reading flow, so I guess everything would be semi-optimal xD still I like this style of storytelling a lot, I guess tumblr got me used to it xD
Do you like this randomness of switching mediums? :lol:
I always love your pictures and the details you put in them, so every time I see a comic or pic+text story, I am happy to get extra candy :grin: I don't really care what medium you use, they're all well executed though.
At some point I tried to add more descriptions/elaboration of the setting and ambience than moving the story along. (Chapter 14.2 and 14.21) What do you think of the writing in these chapters compared to the rest of my writing? Do you have a preference? (If there’s no difference you can say that too. :lol: )
Lol. I didn't notice if the writing is different :joy: But I really liked the intensity of those chapters.
- I overly rely on pictures to describe the setting than write it out. Does this style work for you?
Yes, since you add the pictures, the obvious description is not needed.
- Romance is hard to write and personal. There are some scenes and pictures that were too much for me in the story, but I’m a conservative person. How were they for you? Were any of them cringey? If yes, which one? so I can work on those. And do you have suggestions?
Nope, not cringey. I cringe at overly detailed or sterile descriptions of sexual acts (me, personally), but you relied mostly on pictures which I am perfectly fine with (even if they would be very explicit). However, I giggled when Athena suddenly had an undershirt that would be visible with the dress she wore before. I thought it was cute xD
One advice, if those scenes make you too uncomfortable but you insist they are important for your story development, you can show that they happened in one or two screenshots (censored by the right angle/cut etc.) without showing what explicitly happened. A story doesn't need pictured intimacy to be good :)

New characters? And another spellcaster? Oh, and the screenshots seem spooky and mysterious.

New characters, yes! More magic? You betcha! Thanks I might have overdone it on screenshot darkness haha. Hipefull you could still see things ?

No need to apologize for the darkness. I think you do dark topics really well. :) I am super excited for this new season. I love the new story banner, and I can't wait to learn more about the new characters, as well as what's happening with the main characters. This prologue has me hooked, it's so action-packed and raises a lot of questions. Like, who are the masked people? Who is Lathar and why are people chasing him? And who was the mystery person at the end? As always, my questions are just me thinking/writing out loud and only speculation and don't need to be answered. :)

Oof thank you. I had a moment during reflection that maybe I should redo a couple of parts but I've thought of a way to present it in all its dark glory while being.. respectful. :lol: So it's full speed ahead for now.
I fully expect myself to reach that point in production and go woaah this is darker than what I pictured and have that moment of doubt. I'm sureee I'll get over it. :lol:

Woot woot! Thanks for reading! I'm pretty excited to see what you make of it. Need that Plumbob magic in my story. :)