DoodlyDoofus Presents:.........This (Now on Generation 10)

Seasoned Newcomer

4 years ago

Generation 1: Chapter 4: Vote Baxter!

So not too long ago Simerica finally legalized Dining.....................Yes, it took them forever to legalize something so innocent. But hey, the Simericans can finally go out to eat at nice restaurants.....Like this one! Chez Llama!

Who's in there you might ask? Well it's Nancy and Geoffrey Landgraab celebrating their anniversary! How sweet. Nothing can ruin this moment.

"Nancy Landgraab, I'm Ed Baxter." Edward said barging into the dining area "Remember me? We almost had an affair?"

"You almost had a [i]what?![/i]" Geoffrey says after choking on his drink.

"Can you leave us alone? I'm trying to celebrate an important day with my husband." Nancy sneered.

"But I'm running for Mayor and I want your help with the campaign, if you eventually help me get elected President I could easily make you pay two simoleons a year in taxes." Edward responded as a way to scratch Nancy's back.

"Wipe my taxes?! Come sit down, Ed. Let's talk." Nancy said smugly.

"Alright if you want to get elected you're going to have to lie your plum off." Nancy laid it on smoothly.

"You want me to lie? I can't lie, I didn't become a politician to lie to people!" Edward retorted.

"Listen, you're not lying maliciously." Nancy attempted to explain herself. "You're lying for the good of the planet. You tell people things that you'll do no matter how impossible they sound in an attempt to get them to believe in you. Trust me, no one actually expects you to keep the promises you make."

"You make it sound so easy." Edward says in astonishment.

Nancy snaps her fingers at Edward with a wink "Trust me, you don't get where I am without knowing how to manipulate people."

In the next few months, Edward has gone around building a respectable campaign....Mostly based on lies, some half-truths in there, but mostly lies.

"Hey you." Edward says to the woman typically seen busking on the street "If you vote for me I'll finally make it illegal to throw tomatoes at buskers."

"That would actually benefit me very well." The woman responds "I'm deathly allergic to tomatoes."

"Now you look like someone who would love lower taxes." Edward said to the girl on the street.

"I'm not even old enough to vote." The girl said.

"Then tell your parents to vote for me for lower taxes!" Edward replied.

"I'm not even going to sugarcoat it. I have no idea what you would want from a politician." Edward said to the man in front of him.

"You slept with my wife." Bjorn Bjergsen snarkily replied.

"Well good, if you vote for me I'll make it illegal for Politicians to have affairs with random women." Edward said "AND I'll let you punch me in the face!"

"Now THAT'S a politician I can get behind!" Bjorn exclaimed with joy.

A few months later, Edward took Katrina Caliente out to dinner at Chez Llama.

Why's Edward doing that? Well Edward's father raised him right. Here's what Edgar once said.

"Now son, if you EVER get a woman pregnant you must marry her and accept your responsibilities." Edgar said to a young Edward "You're probably wondering if that's how your Mom and I got together, that's wrong. Your mother and I did the RIGHT thing and waited until marriage to do the monster mash."

I think young Edward got it through his head.

Katrina probably wasn't wanting to go out with Edward. But then she found out he's running for Mayor and now suddenly she's all flirty and stuff. Hope she's not just dating him for material reasons. Would Katrina Caliente date someone for the wrong reasons?

"Oh man, I can't wait to see what they serve at this fancy restaurant!" Edward exclaimed as the waitor brought their food to their table.

Edward and Katrina just sneered at the food on their plates before looking at each other.

"Is this even legally food?" Katrina asked.

"If I'm elected Mayor I'll have this place torn down in favor of a McDonald's." Edward responded.

Don't know if it's the free expensive meal, or the potential of dating a mayor talking, but Katrina's having a great time tonight.

Meanwhile on the other side of the restaurant, Bella Goth and Mayor Feng are warming up at the fire place.

"Curse that man!" Victor exclaims. "Everywhere I go, there's Edward Baxter and that stupid smiling face of his. I swear, I'll stop him from interfering in my plans!"

"Dude." Bella calmly responds "I'm just trying to enjoy a fancy dinner with my husband, do you REALLY have to make everything political?"

After dinner Edward and Katrina left the restaurant with full bellies and a better relationship.

"Hey I had a great time." Katrina answered with a genuine smile.

And then they proceeded to make out in front of everyone.

"Wanna go back to my place and do things that'll make the gods themselves lose all respect for us?" Edward asked.

"Do you even have to ask?" Katrina responded.

Oh look, the Bjergsens are enjoying a fancy dinner as well!

"Clara please tell me.....That's my kid right?" Bjorn asked with concern.

I'd like to leave this ambiguous, but that's certainly Bjorn's kid, don't get worried.

A few weeks later, Edgar Baxter came to visit his son once again.

"Oh....what's this?" Edgar asks curiously.

"This is my girlfriend, Dad." Edward answered truthfully "I followed your advice dad, I accepted my responsibility and am planning on marrying the woman I knocked up!"

"I didn't actually expect you to follow through with it, Son." Edgar said with concern.

"Didn't we go to High School together?" Edgar asked.

"Don't make this weird, Dad." Edward replied.

More months pass by and Edward has done literally anything he can think of to get the people on his side.

"Hey Paolo, if you and your friends vote for me, I'll open more nightclubs for your club to hang out at." Edward promised.

"Oh snap bro, that would be amazing!" Paolo responded warmly.

"And Gunther, if you vote for me I'll make it illegal to make fun of someone else's mustache!" Edward exclaimed to Gunther Munch.

"That's fantastic! I was about to shave it after all the ridicule I've gotten over it." Gunther gushes.

"And Bob I...........I......" Edward says to Bob Pancakes, not actually knowing what to promise this broken man.

"Bob, if you vote for me I promise I will do everything in my power to make your life better in every aspect!" Edward promised.

Bob just stood there in stunned silence before finally responding.

"I don't think you're actually going to try and make my life better." Bob responded. "But, the fact that you're the first person to attempt to help me fix my life up.....That means a lot.....It means a whole lot." Bob said on the verge of tears.

Sometime later, Edward and Katrina were sitting on the couch when Katrina just HAD to bring something up.

"Okay, so what's up with the sunglasses?" Katrina asked.

"Nancy told me that voters are REALLY into my image of being the chill laid back guy compared to the serious looking business man, Victor Feng." Edward Answered. "So she suggested that I start wearing sunglasses to make me look even cooler."

That's when Nancy Landgraab barged into the room.

"Ey yo, Billionaire casually kicking your door down." Nancy said as she made her way over to the couch. "Edward you'll never believe this, ever since you put those sunglasses on you've been polling even better than before! We need you to look cooler, can you let that hair flow freely?"

And just like that, Edward started skyrocketing in the polls once more.

Election Night 2034. Edward and Katrina sat on the couch waiting for the results of the election.

"I just have to ask." Katrina said "What's up with the stupid hat?"

"They didn't have any party hats so I'm wearing this in anticipation." Edward replied.

"This just in!" Says the anchorman on the tiny television "The results are in, the next mayor of San Myshuno is Edward Baxter!"

"Well snap, looks like I'm the Mayor now!" Edward cheered.

"Sweet, now pucker up so this will be the second time I kiss a Mayor." Katrina casually reveals.

"Oh I got something better than that." Edward replies....

Edward then got down on one knee and pulled out the best looking ring a man running for Mayor could afford and presented it to Katrina, who happily accepted.