Magicomedies

One day, Jiya Quintero was visiting the city when she was struck by raging hunger. Her wolf form couldn't be bothered to run all the way downstairs to the food stalls so...
https://i.imgur.com/bFHfR2n.png
The gym equipment proved surprisingly tasty! Out of curiosity, Jiya decided to see what else she could devour. It turned out she could even eat mirrors. This somewhat freaked out the other gym users. https://i.imgur.com/z8zj6k5.png
She fancied some fresh air, and nibbled on a basketball court. https://i.imgur.com/80jylrV.png
Um, Jiya, I'm not sure you're supposed to eat things with fire...
https://i.imgur.com/sWHwKMA.png
You're going to anyway. Okay then...https://i.imgur.com/yrwV3hO.png
It so happened that Kio, Jiya's vampire neighbour, visited the same gym at that very moment. He saw Jiya's feasting and was so shocked that he ran straight into someone else's shower cubicle, and was rather embarrassed. https://i.imgur.com/HPVQ7wa.png
Suddenly, all of that devoured gym equipment started to have an effect. Jiya rushed to the toilets.
Now, it is a well known fact that after devouring a toilet, one must always wash one's hands. https://i.imgur.com/Z8Tesig.png
"You call this a shower?" https://i.imgur.com/BcrRNg3.png
After that, she was hungry again. The bar wasn't open yet, so Jiya decided to snack on some of the chairs instead.https://i.imgur.com/6RY8Lri.png
It was at the point that Jiya realised she should eat something healthy too, so she snacked on a few plants.https://i.imgur.com/r5lqOtY.png
She had the uneasy feeling that the first plant she snacked on might have been fake. At least the lavender should aid her digestion.https://i.imgur.com/SuW9LbQ.png
And finally, a light pudding. Literally. https://i.imgur.com/CUKBFKq.png
After a few more hours, Jiya finally regained control. Oh dear.https://i.imgur.com/tQEmKx1.png
Oh dear. https://i.imgur.com/DU4HAxt.png
"Ohhh... bummer."https://i.imgur.com/ueKoTma.png
Though mortified about her beastly behaviour in the last few hours, Jiya couldn't help but feel a little weirded out by the other gym users too. "Um, why are they all standing in my pee?"https://i.imgur.com/wz2YQZF.png
On the plus side, she met another new werewolf on her city visit. https://i.imgur.com/JrqtgVS.png Jiya couldn't shake the feeling that she recognised her from somewhere... But was too tired from all the eating to remember where.

November the Something of Some Year (Remembering exact dates isn't my thing):
https://i.imgur.com/EfoqBlj.png
Have been living in this city for a month now and realised I haven't done nearly enough spying on people. So today I decided to remedy that. First target: our neighbour. https://i.imgur.com/zEgqAvr.png Apparently he's some famous art critic but personally I think he's just a rich boy with a vendetta against the art world because his own art wouldn't even get picked up if it was going free in a dumpster. He made my brother cry once when judging at a charity art contest (Tadeo still hasn't shown his painting in public since) and as much as Tadeo bores me sometimes, if anyone messes with my family, they mess with me. I greeted him all nicey smiley in the hall of our apartment though and managed to slip a bug on him as we passed. Can't wait to see what juicy dirt I get on him. >:)

Took a stroll to the local art gallery, turned on the charisma and planted a few more bugs. Fortunately for me, I am a natural charmer so the locals didn't suspect a thing.
Hello, fellow fan of red clothing with gold embroidery, and what are your secrets?https://i.imgur.com/fW9hiXA.png
Had to plant a bug on this guy with the bag on his head too, because, well, he's a guy with a paper bag on his head. Wouldn't you want to know more? https://i.imgur.com/sH8rUnX.png I was tempted to conjure a gust of wind and remove the bag but then it occurred to me that one of the reasons for wearing it could be that he's carrying a contagious skin condition, which I don't want to get. I don't EVER judge people on their skin but do like to keep mine spot-free, thank you.

Couldn't leave without having a go on the piano, and also to drown out all the other performers there, because they were awful! Please, people, learn to play an instrument in tune before you perform in public! https://i.imgur.com/vSf00Gl.png
Also saw this absolutely rocking painting. https://i.imgur.com/xulI6NV.png
Which I stole. https://i.imgur.com/xzpUAw8.png I'll put it back later, somewhere else in the city.

I was hungry and fancied some authentic Sulanesian grub. So I decided to teleport to the islands of Sulani. (Because I'm spontaneous like that. Plus I wanted to show off my swimwear).
After eating, I found a boat without an owner and set off to find more spy targets (so many people just seem to leave their boats lying around in this place, they really should be more careful. Anyone could just come along and steal one ;) ).
Met this lady, who seems to live in a hut on her own little island and seems to have a dog, who leaves large claw marks all over her porch and front door. https://i.imgur.com/JVzCJUp.pngI asked her what her dog's name was and, despite the enormous drool stains on her coat, she emphatically denied having one. Okaaay then...

Cruised the ocean some more for a while. Definitely did not get lost. https://i.imgur.com/ebyEL2r.png

After a few more hours of not being lost, I ended up docking near this old shipwreck. I investigated, but then it was late and I was tired so decided to sleep in the bed. No one seemed to be there so I figured it was some sort of novelty bed and breakfast place. https://i.imgur.com/JalXNP2.png

Was woken up by weird noises and was more than a little freaked out to discover the place was haunted. I played it cool though. La la la. Yep, glowing, floating faces all around, that's all cool, totally fine. That puddle by the bed was already there when I got here. I'm just going to run to the bathroom because I suddenly feel like it. No, no I always run screaming to the bathroom in the mornings, that's my usual routine. https://i.imgur.com/iA3kSHZ.png

This one ghost though turned out to be a pretty cool guy. And I've always wondered what ghosts get up to when they think no one's watching. https://i.imgur.com/47fEj1C.png

It also turned out that the place wasn't a bed and breakfast at all, it was home to a very startled merman, whom I apologised to for my mistake. (Didn't mean to scare him. I thought he was one of the ghostly apparitions. So that's why I had to pick five different locks to get in the door). Thought it was best not to tell him about the slices of cake me and the ghost guy had helped ourselves to from his fridge as he was already pretty freaked out. I comforted him. You know, I have always wondered what merfolk get up to when they think they're not being watched. https://i.imgur.com/V5csOuj.png

It was then I realised that I hadn't been home all night. Probably best to go back to the apartment. Can't wait to listen in to all my bugs!

Later that day:
I'm annoyed. I'm more than annoyed, I am steaming with annoyance! Listened in on all my marks and got nothing I could use! All I got from my neighbour was snoring. The two from the gallery just complained about their love lives (Zzzzzzzzzz). From the lady on the solo island, all I could hear were these weird growling noises. Her dog must have sniffed out the bug on her coat or something. Ghost guy's one didn't even work. That 'works on anyone, anywhere' slogan on the spy bugs was total false advertising! The merman's one would have been more intriguing if he hadn't spoken in a language I couldn't understand most of the time (though I could get Taddie to translate it...)
I did hear something odd though. Later on he kept saying things like "I invite you to rest in the Realm beyond," and "Please don't leave ectoplasm all over that nice lady's house." There was also an unnerving amount of screaming (though that might have been him. Thought it was a bit high pitched but merfolk are known for having several-octave vocal ranges). This was like the middle of the night (I'm a night owl). What in this world does he do?!

It was Tuesday morning and Ikkanu woke as usual in the company of ghostly apparitions. One of the younger island spirits bounced up and down on his bed. Ikkanu groaned and pulled the covers over. https://i.imgur.com/9C8OSx0.pngThe spirit yanked the covers off of his bed, then vanished with a giggle.
"Ughhh, all right, I'm up. I'm up," Ikkanu grumbled in Ancient Sulanesian and rubbed his eyes. He looked up and saw the smiling face of his friend Guidry.
"Ah, Ikkanu my friend, I hope I'm not disturbing you?"
Ikkanu got up and yawned. "No, I don't think so." He didn't have any plans for that day. Is it a special occasion today? Have I forgotten something important? Ikkanu didn't normally start his worrying until after breakfast but he had an uneasy feeling something bad would happen today.
"Excellent! Fantastic!," Guidry beamed. "It's just, I was wondering if I might request a song?"
"Guidry, it's five in the morning." That was the problem with ghosts, they forgot how the livings' time schedules worked.
"I know, I know," Guidry replied, "but you have the best voice out of all the singers I know, and I wanted to start my girlfriend's Valentine's day early." He gestured to an impatient looking ghost lady next to him.
Ikkanu froze in embarrassment. "Guidry," he murmured, "I thought we discussed bringing people into my house." He didn't like his friends seeing him in sleepwear without his tribal paint on, let alone complete strangers.
"Ah, my apologies, but I was just so caught up in the moment of love, you know?"
"Claude, am I getting my romantic serenade or not?" said the ghost woman.
Is that Temperance? thought Ikkanu. I thought Guidry was back with Genevieve? He thought it best not to bring this up. Ikkanu sighed. "O-okay." Anything to get the stranger out of here quickly. Guidry had helped him out more than a few times with some of his more tricky paranormal investigations so Ikkanu felt somewhat obligated to fulfil all of Guidry's favours (of which there were sometimes quite a lot. This was the seventeenth couples' serenade Ikkanu had performed for this year and it was only February). He took a quick sip from his glass of water and sang a charming melody, being careful to use the correct girlfriend's name in the song.
https://i.imgur.com/YBKNKfZ.png
The two ghosts left in a considerably more romantic mood.

Ikkanu was more than used to ghosts, having been raised by the island spirits from infancy. But living with ghosts did bring its annoyances. Like the occasional lack of privacy. Why do they always hog the toilet in the mornings? They don't even need to use it!https://i.imgur.com/6An3BT7.png
But Ikkanu was dutiful to his wise, ancient family and never questioned them on their motives.

Once he'd bathed, cleaned the house and checked the surroundings of his shipwreck for intruders, Ikkanu could finally tend to his plants in peace. The forbidden fruit tree is still glowing. That's good.
https://i.imgur.com/uBKGUb0.png
He had just finished all the watering and weeding when... "WAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAH!" A long, loud wail suddenly erupted nearby.
Ikkanu squeaked and ducked behind one of the rocks. "What was that?!"https://i.imgur.com/6B2odMV.png
The noise wailed again, sending shivers up Ikkanu's scales. Trembling, he peeked out. The wailing was coming from a large flower bush in his garden. The whole shrubbery and its surrounding trees shook as whatever was inside wailed again. Ikkanu dashed back into his house and locked the door.

After a few hours, the wailing died down to a whimpering cry, and Ikkanu felt brave enough to creep outside again. It didn't sound like a vicious predator trying to lure him with a fake cry. Perhaps it is just a tourist who's lost? Ikkanu thought. Visitors to Mua Pel'am were rare, due to the rumours of it being haunted, but occasionally a few daredevil kids or nosy human tourists would venture onto the shores. What if whoever's in there is injured? Oh no, please don't let them have injured themselves on my land, I don't want to be sued!
Ikkanu looked around for signs of any strangers. There weren't any, much to his relief (for if there was one thing Ikkanu hated more than being stared at like a zoo exhibit, it was having to explain to ignorant tourists that not all merfolk look like the famous one from that popular animated film franchise). He crept over to the shrubbery on slightly shaky legs. "Please don't let there be blood everywhere," he murmured to himself. "Please don't let it be a really gory injury. I'm not medically trained. I can't deal with that!" With trembling fingers, he peeled back a few branches of the bush. There was the sound of someone farting with surprise, followed by a flash of yellow light. Ikkanu yelped and fell over.

"Are you spying on me?" The voice sounded less like eternal sadness and more like a teenager's.
https://i.imgur.com/b2W2vm5.png
Ikkanu's nerves relaxed. It was only a spectre. He'd never seen one this colour before (and how were those glasses even staying on?). He got to his feet and brushed off the sand. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to startle-"
"Have you come to laugh at me too?" said the spectre in its monotone. "Go ahead, everyone else is. I'm a loser." It floated away.
"Wait!" Ikkanu rushed after it. "I'm not laughing at you, I promise."
The spectre stopped. "You can understand me?" it said.
https://i.imgur.com/NcbPgZI.png
"Yes," said Ikkanu. "I am the shaman of this island. Well, sort of. Training to be. Um... can I... help you in any way?"
"Will you go out with me?" said the spectre.
Ikkanu was lost for words for a moment. "I... I... wh- what?"
"It's the Annual Spectres Ball this Friday and I'm the only one in the whole Spirit Realm who doesn't have a date," the spectre sank in the air a little and looked away. "My partner dumped me this morning in front of our whole life-drawing class, on Valentine's day. So I like Surrealism more than Cubism, that doesn't mean you have to publicly dump me through the medium of paint and mixed media on canvaaaaas!" It let out another wail of despair. Ikkanu wondered if any of the neighbouring islands could hear the noise.
"I ran away and found this place. It seems like a good place to hide," sniffed the spectre. Ikkanu agreed with that last statement.
"So..." the spectre bobbed awkwardly. "Do you want to be my date?" It let out a small noise like air slowly escaping from a balloon. A tiny cloud of spectre sprinkles popped out of its tail.
https://i.imgur.com/X7jYSux.png
"Um..." Ikkanu shuffled with an awkwardness that matched the spectre's. This was not in my training! "You seem, uh, v-very nice... but... I... can't. I'm really sorry."
"I knew it!" the spectre bawled. "You think I'm a loser too. I'll never be lovable to anyoooooone!" It flew away like an inflated balloon suddenly being released. Puffs of spectre sprinkles released as it flew, giving Ikkanu a static shock and making the lights inside his house flicker. The spectre flew past Ikkanu's bonfire and accidently set it alight.
https://i.imgur.com/kHha0mj.png
"Wait! No! That's not what I..." Ikkanu paused to summon his own mana to put out the bonfire. The bonfire's blaze gave off a pungent smell.
"What I meant was," said Ikkanu, once finished, "it-it isn't really appropriate for someone in my position to date spectres. It's nothing personal, I promise, and you are certainly not a loser. Please don't be upset."
The crying behind the palm tree ceased. "I'm not showing my face in the Spirit Realm again until I have a date," said the spectre.

Wait, does that mean you're staying here? Ikkanu thought, looking up at the singed palm leaves. There was still a cabbage-like smell in the air. "Um, okay. How about if I... found you a date?"
There was a pause. Ikkanu half hoped the spectre had gone away. "Yeah, that would work," said the spectre's voice. "I like making faces out of rotting trash and staring into space. Seeking someone who likes to get weird."
Ikkanu swallowed. "Okay then. I'll find someone for you."
"Great." The spectre's voice rose a semitone in happiness. "I'll just stay here and haunt this place until you do."
Ikkanu grimaced a smile. He walked away and left the spectre to its haunting.

"What have I done?" he muttered to himself once he was out of hearing range. He ran his fingers through his hair in agitation. "Three days to find a spectre a date? I don't know the first thing about dating! Aaagh!" He put his head in his hands. "How am I going to get out of this?"

"What am I going to do?" Ikkanu groaned as he wandered along the beach of Mua Pel'am. He looked up and realised in his worrying, he'd wandered quite a distance from home. Just past the waterfall he could see the tip of Samphy and Kio's lighthouse. That's it! Ikkanu thought. Samphy's smart, she'll know what to do. He jumped into the shallows, transformed into his mer-form and sped across the shoreline to the coast of his friends' home.

He found Samphy on the beach, crashlanding on the sand from a broom flight (which she did often). "Agh, need to adjust the thrusters some more," she grumbled as Ikkanu surfaced. She picked up her rocket broom and saw Ikkanu wading towards her. "Ikkanu, hello!"
"Samphy, sorry to bother you but I really need your help with something," Ikkanu rushed towards her. "Um, do you know anything about dating?"
"Dating?" Samphy stared at him as if he'd just asked her about the biology of interstellar lifeforms. "Why would I know about dating? I'm not into romance, you know that."
"I know, but, I mean... I have a spectre who won't leave my island without a date for the Annual Spectres Ball," words tumbled out of Ikkanu's mouth at speed, "and I promised I'd find one, but I don't know the first thing about how to make two spectres attracted to each other, but if I don't sort this out the spectre's going to cause chaos, I just know it." Ikkanu breathed. "Please help me, Samphy."
Samphy thought to herself. "Hmm, well, attraction usually functions on how compatible the two sides are. What's this spectre like?"
"Making faces out of rotting trash and staring into space," said Ikkanu. "And seeking someone who likes to, um, get weird. I don't really know what that means."
"O...kay..." said Samphy. "Well, as it so happens, I have loads of leftover Potion of Transcendent Charmer." She rummaged in her pockets (which were charmed with magic so they could store much more on the inside than they looked) and pulled out a bottle. A strange haze fizzed from the top that smelled a bit like candyfloss. "This stuff's strong enough to make a turkey fall for Christmas dinner."https://i.imgur.com/XFvcsR0.png
Ikkanu peered at the liquid inside. "Um, that's great, but... I don't know if I want to force the attraction." He thought back to how the spectre was dumped and felt a little sad. "I don't want to hurt its feelings again."
"Well, take it anyway, you'd be doing me a favour," said Samphy. She pulled out more bottles from her infinite pockets. "I've got love potions coming out of my ears today. They're really weighing me down."
"Why have you got so many?" said Ikkanu.
"It's Valentine's day," said Samphy, drily. "You wouldn't believe how many requests I get for these." She sighed. "Though most of the requesters usually feel guilty about it and cancel the order at the last minute. It's annoying, but I get paid a non-refundable mixing fee so I can't complain too much." She put away the potions and examined her broom. "You ought to ask Kio. He reads romance novels so he'd be better at this sort of thing."

Ikkanu found Kio in the kitchen. Gorgeous foody aromas filled Ikkanu's nostrils. https://i.imgur.com/wZXLSCm.png
"Hi Ikkanu," Kio beamed at his friend, zipped across the kitchen to adjust a pan, then zipped back over to his mixing. "You came at a good time. I'm experimenting with a new cake recipe. Do you want some?"
Ikkanu's mouth watered. Kio's food was always so delicious. But no, there were more important matters at hand. "Um, Samphy tells me you know a bit about dating?"
Kio stopped moving at super speed and gasped with delight. "You've decided to ask Paka'a out!" he cried. "That's wonderful news."
"WHAT?! No, no, no, no, no, no. I have no idea why you'd even suggest that, Kio," Ikkanu felt his face go bright pink. His fingers involuntarily fidgeted. "I-I mean, they are a very nice person with a very nice singing voice, and nice hair, and amazing guitar skills but, uh, no. It's to help someone else." He told Kio the whole story.
"Oh wow," said Kio, thinking. "Gee, um, I'm not sure I'm really the best person to give advice on this. I've only ever had one relationship and she left me for another vampire so..." He scratched his chin, then excused himself to finish off the recipe, which he did in seconds. "I did watch this one thing in a romantic comedy once," he said when he'd finished, "where they posted a picture about the person on something called... a dating agency, I think? And then other people replied with their own pictures. Oh and they put facts up about themselves too. Then they found people who matched them."
Ikkanu hadn't the heart to tell his friend that he already knew about dating agencies and had almost tried one for merfolk once but had been too shy and embarrassed to place an advert.
"Is there a dating site for ghosts?" asked Kio.
Ikkanu pondered. "No, most of them tend to be into free love. So do the spectres." (He'd found this out one night when he was called out to exorcise a spectre infestation in a hotel and was so mortified by what he walked in on that he had to feign illness to the client and run). An idea sparked. "But when I connect to the Spirit Realm, sometimes it sends me visions. Maybe I could send a vision the other way. Does Samphy know a spell for that?"

As it turned out, she did. It took a lot of tinkering but Samphy managed to make a few upgrades to Ikkanu's séance table so he could have visual communication both ways with the Spirit Realm. Both sides could now even post messages on a spectral noticeboard which projected in the Spirit Realm's capital. "I call it Phantomail," said Samphy, proudly. (She had wanted to call it G-mail but found there was a copyright issue).
"Okay," said Ikkanu, sitting down. "Let's give this a go." https://i.imgur.com/Kxb6pQS.pngHe concentrated and summoned the connection between the living and dead. Then he recited the words Samphy had given him to access the Phantomail portal. Once he arrived there, in astral projection form, Ikkanu posted an advert on the noticeboard:

Interesting spectre seeking a date for the Annual Spectres Ball this Friday. The weirder the better. Fans of the Surrealist art movement preferable. Please send replies ASAP via the astral plain to Ikkanu Happati, The Shipwreck, Mua Pel'am, Sulani, The Living Realm.
Ikkanu hoped this advert wasn't too formal. The effort it took to perform this message drained him so much he fell asleep in the bath that evening. https://i.imgur.com/buBLD3D.png?1

Ikkanu woke the next morning, was rather embarrassed to find he was still in the bath and got dressed. Immediately, he rushed down to his séance chamber to check for messages. There were three results:
"I answered this ad because I got bored and have nothing better to do. I don't care if you reply or not."
https://i.imgur.com/fKp0dNZ.png
Hmm, too apathetic, thought Ikkanu. Next.

"Hi! I like dates. I like all kinds of things. I love sunshine and sugar candy and rainbows and unicorns and pony rides and sugar candy and bouncing up and down and rollercoasters and sugar candy and eating lots of sugar candy whilst riding a rollercoaster! In fact sometimes I just like to imagine I'm on a rollercoaster wherever I am. Weeeeeeeee!"
https://i.imgur.com/WaDCsFL.png
Too perky, thought Ikkanu. Though that one would get on well Kio. Next.

"I shout a lot and pick fights. Don't expect me to apologise for my actions."
https://i.imgur.com/Z4Yg4f9.png?1
"Oh no," said Ikkanu. "Too confrontational."
He put his head in his hands. This was all? He sighed. Maybe the next two days would bring better candidates.

Ikkanu climbed out of the chamber and discovered a creepy doll staring at him.
"I put one in every room of your house," echoed the voice of the yellow spectre. "Hope you like them."
https://i.imgur.com/df23am6.png?1
Ikkanu did not.

Over the next two days, things got worse.
https://i.imgur.com/n9D5DAF.png

And worse.
"Ugh! Ewww! Again? How are you producing this much? I've never seen you drink or eat anything!"
https://i.imgur.com/BI5mUnh.png

Ikkanu kept checking for replies to the advert, but no other spectres got in touch.

Friday came. Exhausted from the constant mopping of ectoplasm and slightly sick from the near-constant smell of farty spectre sprinkles in the air, Ikkanu had taken to sleeping outside in his garden, which was hardly better as he could still hear the spectre's loud crying. It kept leaving his fridge open and complaining that he didn't have any ice cream. When told that it didn't eat, the spectre replied "I still like to look at ice cream and appreciate its form," then dived into the sink and flooded the kitchen. Yesterday it had spent all day and night listening to the radio and singing along every time a song about relationship break-ups came on. Ikkanu wouldn't have minded so much if the spectre's singing voice didn't sound like a drunken cat trying to perform in a Death Metal band.
Ikkanu was so tired that when he did wake up, he was horrified to discover that it was already evening. The Spectres Ball was at midnight and he still hadn't found a date for the yellow spectre. He was supposed to help lost souls move on but he'd let this one down. The little spectre would be so disappointed, and would probably stay forever. Ikkanu looked at his shipwreck, which was now coated in a copious amount of ectoplasm (apparently the spectre had developed an allergy to merfolk). He dropped on his towel again and planted his face in the soft material.
How am I going to tell the spectre? It'll be so upset. It's all my fault. What will it do to me?

He jumped at the sound of his phone going off in his pocket. Ikkanu groaned and sat up. It was an urgent call. Someone in Evergreen Harbour needed a paranormal to get rid of an angry spectre and fast. Ikkanu gulped. Angry spirits could get very destructive if not dealt with quickly. From another pocket, he pulled out the glimmerstone Samphy had given him for quick teleportations (for which he was extremely grateful for. Public transport always made him throw up) and told it where he wanted to go.

He arrived at the apartment block to find an angry spectre patrolling the courtyard, sending a blast of fire to anyone who tried to get near. Fortunately for Ikkanu, possessing the nature magic of island mana gave him the ability to be fireproof. He made his way cautiously towards it.
"What the-?" spluttered the spectre as it tried to set fire to Ikkanu for the third time. "Why won't you burn like the others?"
Ikkanu didn't have the energy to explain his entire backstory, so put his hands up in a sign of peace. "I... m-mean you no harm," he said, trying not to sound too squeaky. He couldn't be harmed by fire but neither was he very good at controlling large amounts of it yet and if the spectre decided to set fire to the whole building... "What has made you so angry? Is there anything I can help you with?"
The spectre told him, in extremely rude words, to go away. https://i.imgur.com/qdw7I8F.png Ikkanu quietly and quickly drew a séance circle drawn on the ground. But as he was about to recite the incantation, the spectre blew a fireball at the circle, destroying it. "Don't even think about it!" it said. "That minimalist chalk circle is even worse than the tastes of these residents! Have you seen the insides of these apartments?" The spectre gestured to the flats behind.
Ikkanu shook his head, not quite believing what he was hearing.
"I mean, the ridiculous tat these people display on their walls and call 'art'. How could they choose those crudely painted still lifes when the decor of their homes is clearly designed to be paired with more abstract and figurative forms?! It makes me so mad!" The spectre grew so angry that it split itself into two bodies. They floated up to the balcony. "I'll teach you not to appreciate fine art!" its voice echoed. Both forms glowed menacingly.
A thought stuck Ikkanu. "Wait!" he cried, running up to the spectres. He rummaged in his belt bag. Yes, he still had an extra copy of the photo he'd placed on the noticeboard in the Spirit Realm. "Before... you burn down this building... c-could I just ask... one thing please?"
The spectre glared at him. "All right, but it had better be worth my time," both its voices said.
"Uh... well," Ikkanu fingered the shaman stone around his neck to calm his nerves. If this backfired, the whole apartment would be toast. Then he'd have angry humans to deal with too, and this scared him more than the spectres did. He took a deep breath. "I was wondering what your opinion was regarding S-S-Surrealism?"
The spectre paused. "Now you're talking," it said with a smile. https://i.imgur.com/DflVa5k.png
"Surrealism happens to be my favourite art movement. In fact I once entered a Surrealist art competition with a collage made out of bits from a bin. It was meant to portray the wasteful thoughts of the inner mind on the outside you see but the judges didn't get it. They just thought it was a few faces made out of rotten trash."
Ikkanu 's heart leapt. He couldn't be that lucky, surely? He never usually was. "Really? That's so interesting," he said. "Um, I don't suppose you also enjoy... staring into space?"
"Why yes," said the spectre, "as a matter of fact I do. I find it quite therapeutic. Why are you asking me all this?"
Ikkanu let out a squeak of excitement. "Then, in that case," he said, fumbling in his belt bag (which had been charmed by Samphy with the same magic as her pockets) "there is someone you might like to meet."
https://i.imgur.com/XnW9vcQ.png He opened the box and showed the spectre the picture inside.

https://i.imgur.com/NIgrsDs.png
Ikkanu had no idea what the spectre was thinking, or who was playing that romantic music in the background.
"Wow," said the spectre, its forms merging into one again. "Wow. Is this a friend of yours?"
"Um, sort of, yes," said Ikkanu, "and looking for a date for the Spectres Ball, in fact."
"Really?" the spectre's red glow changed to green. "Could you hook us up?"
Ikkanu smiled for the first time that day. "I think that could be arranged, yes."

Back at Mua Pel'am, both spectres hit it off well. They left for the ball straight away and Ikkanu was, at last, left in peace.
Kio happened to be out on a midnight stroll and helped Ikkanu clean his home. Then they cooked a celebratory midnight dinner. https://i.imgur.com/DObKbx4.png
"That was a tough week," sighed Ikkanu as he chopped. "I've never had to make spectres fall in love before."
"Yeah," said Kio. "It's so cool how they met though." He mixed in more ingredients. "I mean, I thought if all else failed you could just use your song powers to charm them towards each other, but asking around at an exorcism was a neat idea too."
Ikkanu paused and slowly stared round at Kio. The vampire looked puzzled. "You... didn't think of singing?"
Ikkanu grinned far too widely. "Would you excuse me a moment?" he said. He rushed out of the kitchen, up the stairs, down the beach to the sea and plunged his head into the water.

Back in the kitchen, Kio thought he heard a strange sound, almost like someone screaming underwater, but maybe it was just the wind.

I gather he is unflirty too?

I haven't paid much attention to the game's lore for these stories and am not sure if the yellow spectre has a name in the game or not.

Tuesday the something of March, the year after the last year (Wow, how long has it been since I last made an entry? Meh.)
Well, this day was a weird one. Started the morning saving fellow flatmate, Leoni, from certain death, after she nearly burned the kitchen down trying to cook breakfast. https://i.imgur.com/5mHBi8c.png

Neither of us could be bothered to cook again after that so we magicked up a cauldron of mac n' cheese. No sooner had we done that when suddenly all these random people walked into our house. https://i.imgur.com/iuV3rQA.png
Please, won't you all come in. Never met any of you before, but just wander around the house doing whatever you like (which is what they did. Humans are weird.)

As it happens, Leoni and I are in competition for the title of Lord of Mischief. (Which is currently mine and she thinks she can defeat me for it. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I don't think so. NOTE TO SELF: Never, ever bring up the subject of Lords usually being male and Ladies usually being female to Leoni again. I still have the claw marks from last time. Good job she can only take on the image of a tiger and not its actual strength because if so, you would not be reading this right now).
So, we took this opportunity to have a 'Put Paranoia into the Public' competition. I managed to completely convince our guests that there was an escaped mad mutant lab experiment hiding in the hills above our city and that it was drawing nearer in search of food. Thought my howl was particularly convincing. https://i.imgur.com/nFrNmX0.png

Although, Leoni did a pretty good job too with her yarn about the giant flesh-eating cockroach infestation in the sewers. She almost had my skin crawling with her description. Almost. https://i.imgur.com/EG7fGuS.png

Tadeo came back from work whilst we were chatting, took one look at the guests and sneaked off to his bedroom before anyone saw him (except moi of course. Nothing escapes me). https://i.imgur.com/RorRAAT.png No one has mastered the skill of avoiding social gatherings like my twin brother.

Mind you, the whole social situation was a bit bizarre. Those uninvited strangers just kept on coming. https://i.imgur.com/XadHYII.png
Even weirder was that these new arrivals didn't even introduce themselves, they just stomped around the house, then left. Did someone release a wandering weirdo potion into the air or something? (And if so, how DARE they do it before me!)

Guests left after eating our mac n' cheese (didn't even pay for it. Rude).
Got a call from someone: "Kaloya Topasna and I didn't work out after all."
I don't care. Who the heck are you and how did you get my number?

A little later I popped in to watch Leoni's organ practice. She's good. She thanked me for saving her. "You were amazing", those were her words. https://i.imgur.com/7NGn8Hh.png "I guess we're even after the whole tiger and snake attack the other day then," I replied.
"Yeah, sorry about that," says Leoni. "I'm pretty passionate about my values."
"I like passionate. I'm a passionate person myself," I reply in my usual suave manner.
"So," she says, "which of our stories do you think scared them the most?"
I must say, her dedication to pranks is admirable. "Why don't we call it a tie?"
"Hmm, I'd rather call it a pair of trousers but okay," she says. Yeah, sometimes Leoni can be a little... cryptic. I smiled like I understood.
"As you saved my life today, I'll let it slide," she continues, grinning.
And I decided to let that little end remark slide. We agreed to a truce for today. Tomorrow we'll resume our usual competitive streaks. We might have flirted a bit before I left her room, who knows, I'll leave that to your imaginations. Must be careful not to turn on the charm too much with this one though, we are rivals after all. And there can only be one Lord of Mischief.


Wednesday the something of March (i.e. The Next Day and a Tale of Revenge!):
Leoni and I decided to check out this new music lounge over Oasis Springs (not a joint decision, we just happened to both want to go there and mutually agreed on it). Her sister, Rhydia joined and, much to my shock, she managed to drag Tadeo along too. Even more shocking was that he actually enjoyed it (though I think it was partly because we were the only ones there, at first). The drinks were pretty good. https://i.imgur.com/UzZ135w.png

Sadly, the place was dead, even the entertainment hadn't shown up so Leoni treated us to some comedy. Now, it's hard to make me laugh and actually mean it, but she made me laugh. https://i.imgur.com/tWVl29Y.png

Rhydia and I went to get more drinks and snacks (I got the drinks, she got the snacks). A few of the locals turned up. I assumed they were locals based on how closely that guy was flirting with the bartender. Are you sure you should be doing that in front of your mother and sisters?
Anyway, Rhydia turned to leave the bar, arms filled with snacks, when this local sat behind her, who I can only describe as a prissy little bee-hatch, shouts out. "Hey fatso, save some for the rest of us."
https://i.imgur.com/BM76YZl.png

Now, anyone who has actually met Rhydia Strange will tell you that she is a very nice, friendly person, but cross her and she'll have you on your back in a chokehold quicker than you can say karate. Rhydia drops the snacks and whirls on her (I should mention, probably, that I like to write about conversations as if I was there right now. If Tadeo were reading this, he'd probably have something to say about the grammar but I don't care).
"Excuse me?" says Rhydia.
"There are others who want bar snacks too, you know," says Miss Priss (Can't remember her name. I think it was Dina or Nina or, maybe Karina? It was an 'ina' of some sort). Either she had something wrong with her eyesight or was just plain thick. Rhydia isn't even fat, she has big muscles from all the exercise she does, and what's so wrong with being different sizes anyway?
"These are for my friends," says Rhydia, in an equally loud voice. "You might want to use your eyes before your mouth."
Ooooooh! Sick burn! She got you Princess, she got you! I was very impressed, I can tell you.

Princess Prissy Face was not happy. "How dare you speak to me like that." (Yes she actually used italics, folks). "You fat, ugly freak! What even are you, you're clearly not human."
At this point, I normally would have put this offensive human troll in a trance and made her dance in her underwear on the table whilst pouring milkshakes all over herself. But both Rhydia and I suddenly had to hold off Leoni, who had turned into a three headed serpent and tried to lunge at the girl. She is very protective of her twin. Can't quite remember what happened after that. We carried Leoni out, still in raging beast form (Changlings can be very unpredictable), I remember seeing Rhydia turn to Princess Priss and saying "You know what, I'm bored of this place anyway."

She shrugged the whole thing off later, as if it didn't matter, but her eyes said different. I could tell the girl's comment had really upset her (I have ways of knowing, you see. Sometimes it's intuition, sometimes it's through spy bugs but this time it was definitely intuition). She didn't talk much the rest of the day and spent most of her time practising her sparring.
https://i.imgur.com/xrIJhGZ.png

Now, Rhydia and I don't always see eye to eye, particularly when it comes to pranks. But if there's one thing that makes me mad, if there's ONE THING that MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL more than anything else, it's watching a good person being knocked down by a bully!
So, what did I do? I did what any good flatmate would do. Went and extracted revenge on her behalf.

Fortunately the bartender knew where the family lived and was happy to tell me where I could deliver their order.
Fancy neighbourhood. No wonder she's so stuck up. Not a bad size house. The style reminds me of the palace I lived in back home, though mine is considerably bigger and has a few more dragons. https://i.imgur.com/8xNTAgW.png I miss the dragons.

I charmed my way in. Holy rocking hell, the decor of this place was appalling. Brown carpets?! And what century did they get that wallpaper from? https://i.imgur.com/mUdyYty.png

After managing not to puke at their lack of style, I finally got talking with Princess Nina/Dina/Etc/Whatever. She and her mother were surprisingly friendly. I got invited up to the bedroom straight away.
"Weren't you at the lounge yesterday?" she asks me.
"Me?" I say, innocently. "No, no, you must be confusing me with one of my septuplets." (NOTE TO FELLOW MISCHIEF MAKERS: always have more than one double, just in case). "We all share clothes. It's a small house we live in, but we get by."
https://i.imgur.com/MqdpUNH.png

"So, what do you actually want?"
"Well, as I said, I'm a travelling potion salesman and I couldn't help but notice this fine neighbourhood and think, 'Now these are people who care about their appearance.' " At this point I feigned looking in my infinite pockets (a must have for any Spellcaster) and then feigned embarrassment. "Oh... darn. I'm so silly. I forgot to restock this morning. All I have left is this Never Gain Weight Again potion and, well, you probably won't be interested in that..."
"Did you say Never Gain Weight?" She doesn't take her eyes off me. "Like, never ever again?"
Worked like a charm. "That's right, guaranteed," I say. "All you have to do is drink one of these a day, for four days, and the spell will be permanent."
"And I'll never ever gain weight, like, no matter what?" she says.
"No matter what." I say.
You should have seen the hunger in her eyes. "How much?"
"You know what, I've wasted your time so, as this is my last bit of stock, you can have these for free."
"Really?"
"Really, I insist. Please, they'll only be thrown away and wasted if I don't get rid of them today. You'd actually be doing me a favour."

I left her four bottles.
https://i.imgur.com/N7nI4lj.png

After leaving, I turned myself invisible and snuck back up the window on my broom to see the results. https://i.imgur.com/gNYInkl.png
She got a surprise. https://i.imgur.com/epY661z.png

Disappointed that Insta-Large potions don't make you bigger the more you drink them but I got another amusing result instead. For not only did her mother also drink one of the potions behind her back...
https://i.imgur.com/OSGGPwf.png

...but the guy living with them also pilfered the last potion. https://i.imgur.com/lof4JZ7.png
https://i.imgur.com/vl3VyV2.png And it turns out he isn't the girl's brother at all but is actually the mother's boyfriend! I mean, seriously?! He looks the same age as her daughters. They can't be okay with that.

But I didn't stop there. For you see, Leoni and I (in a mutual decision to co-operate on behalf of restoring Rhydia's dignity) added a few extras to the potion. For the next month, whenever our Princess goes outside, she will turn into this: https://i.imgur.com/b9mQnTo.png
Mission accomplished. Perhaps in future she'll learn not to be so judgemental.

I practically skipped back home, so pleased was I with my efforts. Got another annoying phone call on the way.
https://i.imgur.com/QqRIqfW.png
"So, I was thinking of asking J. Worthington III out. Should I do it?"
"Sure, go for it. Bye." Again, no idea who these two are or how they got my number. What is happening with this world?

Leoni was ecstatic when I told her about the prank and showed the photos (she'd wanted to come and do the prank with me but there was a risk she'd get recognised after the lounge incident. Plus I work alone). Even Rhydia, who normally disapproves of our pranking ways, laughed a little. She's certainly seemed more her usual cheery self since. Have I convinced her to join the Prankster Way? We'll see. Leoni insists on adding a point to both our scores on the Mischief Rank, but this time I don't mind. It was kind of fun working on the potion with her.

Tadeo had a private chat with me later (he's so formal about these things, even with his own brother). He's totally against the prank as usual. "What if they find out it was you, find out where we live and target us?" he says.
"Relax Taddie, if they do, I'll just use Amnesia Dust. Leoni's really good at making it." Admittedly, I could, and probably should, have used my illusion magic to disguise myself when I visited to pull my prank, but I'm not going to let him know that I didn't think of that.
Tadeo gives that sigh and far away frowning look that he does whenever he's brooding on something.
"What's wrong?" I ask. "What do you disapprove of this time?"
"How much of this was you being altruistic and trying to help Rhydia," says Tadeo, "and how much of it was just an excuse for you to pull a prank on someone with an attitude you didn't like?"
What the heck? "Aren't the two entwined?" I ask. "Are you telling me we should have just let Rhydia be humiliated by some snob who thinks she has dibs on the world's judgement?"
"No, I just..." Tadeo pauses. He does that a lot. "I just think you should be careful how much you get involved in other people's lives, that's all. You can't keep appointing yourself as the judge, jury and executioner of every person who behaves in a way you don't like."
"Well, somebody has to stand up to these people and teach them how to respect others," I retort. (I didn't actually use the word 'people', but just in case a kid finds this...)
Tadeo sighs again. "They aren't the ones who bullied you," he says.
"This has nothing to do with those kids in Middle School," I snap before storming off to my room to jam on my guitar.

I'm... lying slightly there. It's all to do with those kids in Middle School. And anyone else who tries to put others down. So if you're a bully, look out. Because I won't let you win.

Wow, I sounded really creepy there all of a sudden, what is wrong with me today? Norrell, chill out. Play some riffs or something! ?