The Long Haul Reading Circle

I've been reading your stuff for quite a while now, but here we're focusing on your Castillo legacy. The dialogue and relationship development is great, everything flows and makes a lot of sense as a reader. As a writer, I feel that Ava hasn't been developed very much. Rather, she was kind of just thrown in there. Maybe taking a little time to explore her character, and the relationship she has with Elias a little more, would be beneficial in the near future. I was really interested by the pomegranate farming, but there isn't too much focus on those plants. It was mentioned in the very first post, so I expected it to be a bigger part of the story. Just food for thought! Keep up the good work!

I've also been reading your project for a bit, and for the life of me can't remember how I found you. ny275? Did you comment on something I did? Were you recommended to me? I can't remember... "1.5 So We Meet Again" was actually my favorite chapter thus far, which is kind of ironic as there aren't any words...haha. I just really liked the break in style; it felt like a breath of fresh air and set the tone for what was to come. Perhaps major life events could be done in this way, as a break from the normal style, to emphasize their importance?

I'd never seen a picturacy before, but I really like the concept. I, for whatever reason, felt three pictures wasn't enough for a single day, but I'm not sure how many photos would be "enough." Maybe I just wanted more? And that's the point, isn't it? The photos speak for themselves, but also allow the reader to add their own meaning to the story. It's a great concept that gets the reader more involved, allows them to feel as though they have a sense of ownership in their story, (which might be why I liked Asaoyoru's 1.5 chapter so much). It's a super neat concept and I can't wait to see how the project changes and grows in the future; it's almost like an art piece!

Nivea's voice and your character development are great. As a reader, I really feel like I know Nivea and I want to root for her success and happiness in the worst way. Like, I'm strapped in for the ride. Lol. My only question as a new reader is: was Nivea's past another project you'd done? It certainly came across that way to me, and I wanted a link to that project in order to check it out. If not, you certainly did a good job convincing me that it was--excellent backstory!

Brittany is quite the character, lol. To me, her voice is so snarky and sarcastic; it's great and has me giggling! The use of Spanish is great, I really like that touch. The switch to Joaquin's perspective was a tad jarring, but I did like the perspective he gave! If you're intending to switch back and forth with perspectives, that would be a great touch to the story. Have you read Day & Knight? If not, check it out. You'd probably like that style piece!

Love the dialogue you'e got in your story. It's really good and engrossing! The things Ev feels, the choices she makes, I really get to understand her well through your dialogue and descriptions! Maybe taking a little time to develop the character of love interests, without diving into their POV, would be beneficial. So, broadening side character's through Ev's perspective, so the reader knows a little more about why Ev feels the way she does about people. Focus a little more on the why, as who/what/when/where are great! I'm still in Gen 1, so I'll comment on that. If things have changed in the future, just ignore my ramble! :D

I read the first section of the legacy, and quite enjoyed it. Haven't dove into the latter generations yet. At first, the idea of following all the children made me nervous, but it's a really interesting concept...one that I may very well do in the future. You've clearly put a lot of effort into the project, and your writing shows it. You have a very unique voice that's really enjoyable. Like I'm one to talk, but some of the paragraphs may be a little long for web reading. Sometimes I felt a little overwhelmed by the text blocks, which other readers may feel as well. BUT the work reads like a printed piece, not a web piece, so...in the end I don't really think it's anything to worry about. Otherwise, I really like reading the story, and will probably get caught up in the next two weeks!