You are not going to get clothing change automated, unless you use mods. If you are on PC, there is a "no outdoor clothing inside" mod that I used to use. I don't know if it is up to date, but you can google for it. I no longer use it and change clothing manually because one button click isn't that difficult. The only mods I use now are to basically fix bugs that EA have not addressed fast enough for me. As for the unrealistic way for shoes and clothing to be changed, it is just how Sims 4 does it.
Manually clicking the door and locking it for everyone but the parents just means your child sims can't access that room to witness woohoo. That is all you asked was for a solution. I know you may hate manually doing things as per your previous responses, but the option is available that fixes your problem. I even lock doors to rooms so for example only the parents can use the master bathroom.
As for the bug you mentioned, it is in the bug forum. Bug or glitches can effect players differently, depending on indiviual computer specs or console type. Adding to the post in the bug forum may help fix your issue get addressed faster.