And what's up with the crickets dying, no matter what you do?

I hate cuddling the bugs to help fix their health. It makes no sense if you know anything about bugs. Hands-off is the best approach otherwise you risk damaging the bug's legs, body, or antennae to the point of risking their health. Cuddling risks death by crushing - no wonder this doesn't help them!

Leave the recycled my first pet stuff animation out of the care of insects entirely and just make something like 'clean cage' or whatever - keep their environment healthy and your bugs will be fine as well.