How to disable the bag altogether?

You have to go to each neighbourhood and disable the NAP "We Wear Bags". Rightclick a mailbox and choose the NAP and delete it.

so any lot ?

You can also completely disable NAPs on gameplay options under the "packs" tab.

i think this is what i will do tysm @Starfree and @Gagea

Between the bag and sharing is caring, I just turn the NAPS of. It's so annoying when everyone is always stealing my kitchen counters.