Forum Discussion

PenguinFoop's avatar
3 years ago

Let's have an open discussion of Masculinity in and out of the game

DISCLAIMER: First, let me say that this is NOT a thread for bashing anyone. This thread is meant to engage in a civil way a topic that is seemingly more and more demonized and how the game can actually solve this. So let's start.

First, let's start with culture. Culture is a fluid thing. Ethnicity is not culture but culture is tied in many cases to ethnicity.

This is what makes it difficult. The culture, for example, in a metropolis is far different than the culture in the country. Even in those large ethnically diverse cities, like Pittsburgh and San Diego, culture is extremely different.

The United States is supposed to be the cultural melting pot of the world, so we're supposed to welcome diversity in culture. I think we do a great job of it but my concern is that we are purposely excluding some more traditional cultures with the excuse "well they did it to us so there!"

That doesn't solve the issue, nor will it. TS4 has a unique opportunity to start changing this attitude. Masculinity is cultural and natural however, society right now is pushing hard, it seems, to remove all traces of masculinity and the game appears to be echoing that sentiment. After all, who hasn't heard the phrase "toxic masculinity?" Now who has heard of the phrase "toxic femininity?" I'll bet nearly everyone has heard of the former and nearly no one has heard of the latter. As a result, there is only one type of "male" and one type of "female" represented in the game. All else are semantics. Adjust the walk, adjust the clothing options from masculine (with a little "m") to ultra-feminine. Suddenly masculinity becomes one step closer to extinct.

I get that mostly gay men and women play this game so the game has to cater to that society. However, if we only cater to one category, we lose others. That's not good business sense to me. And even in the gay community, there are different tastes. Some of us (though I don't let society define me personally), still are attracted to masculine people (mainly men) and would like to see that represented in the game.

Another issue with that though is that the definition of masculine had become so negative that people are often times socially abused and brow-beaten into the shadows if they even try to have an open discussion about it. Masculine does NOT mean wife-beating, homophobic, racist bigot. Masculine, to me at least, simply means those of a more sturdy build, with a more down to earth (less flamboyant, less Liberachi and more rugged lumberjack) style, and yes actually having body hair (Heaven forbid).

So again, I think the game could do a much better job including these types in its "all-inclusive" definition.

How can the game do this? Well, for one, the game can give more plain T-shirt with button down plaid options.

Masculine types tend to be less about the clothing and more about living so clothing-wise, just more jeans that actually fit and more plaid and plain shirt options.

Job-wise, more physical labor jobs. "Construction worker" is a part-time job? Really? Maybe that's how the inner-city sees it but yeah, that's not the case. Masculine people like to get their hands dirty. So how about a construction career? Some of the job titles would be "general laborer," "back-hoe operator," "crane operator," "on-site foreman," "foreman," and so on. That's just one example of a masculine job. How about factory workers? Actual farming career? You think food comes from the fridge? Lol I mean, there are a lot of jobs available!

Lifestyle-wise, the game does a good job at this with the work table and the recycling objects. This is good. But how about some more outdoor activities, like well, my neighbor loves to work on small engines such as lawnmowers and weed whackers. How about something like that? The country living pack is really good for the country bumpkin like me and is a more traditional idea of masculinity so kudos on that!

So these are just a few ideas about what masculinity means and can be represented at least from a country man's point of view. I know that there are masculine men in the city as well but have little experience with city life so input is limited on my end.,

Anyway, so let's talk about this.

1: How do you define masculine?
2: What does your masculine sim like to do?
3: What career would your masculine sim like?
4: What would your masculine sim like to wear?
5: Does your masculine sim have/want body hair?
  • "PenguinFoop;c-18065748" wrote:
    "StrawberryYogurt;c-18065745" wrote:
    "PenguinFoop;c-18065742" wrote:

    Your number 4 point hits at what I am getting at. The options for clothing. Your masculine sims wear clothes to their own personal style. So if it were available to them, would many of them, would some dress more like the lumberjack? Obviously not all but some?.


    Yes some would dress like a lumberjack if the option were there. I think there are some black/red checkered shirts in game tho. But whatever I want I dont have I download CC.

    I do wish there were more blue collar. Silly for it to be parttime. I work in a male dominated job too, and its full time!

    Its ok if you disagree. The way I see it, men are men and women are women. The lines do not cross over to me. In my perpective, there are men who dress feminine, act feminine but they are still a man. So in my game my men are always masculine because they are all men and they do not act or behave in a feminine way.

    But really I play Sims 2 and 3 the most anyway, I havent touched Sims 4 in a while. I do see a lack of options for hair and clothes for those games too, I just download cc.


    Sadly CC isn't always an option, neither are mods. But they shouldn't have to be. They should be in the game. Shouldn't they?


    Yes they should be in the game!
  • "logion;c-18065914" wrote:
    "PenguinFoop;c-18065909" wrote:
    "logion;c-18065885" wrote:
    Interesting topic, as a straight, masculine man myself I do have to admit that I feel that I am considered as the minority in how Maxis are adding content and market this game...


    1: How do you define masculine?

    I define masculine as someone who has stronger masculine traits and follow masculine norms and are less interested in feminine traits and norms. These traits and norms are formed from influences throughout my life and my own personal feelings regarding the matter. Someone who is very masculine for me has certain interests that you often associate with boys. (girls, guns, cars, movies). They strive to look attractive by masculine ideals, and often have body hair and beards. They still care about their looks, but not in a fashionable way.

    2: What does your masculine sim like to do?
    They like to work out, they like to pursue goals, they are strong and dependent, they like action and woohoo. They like to look cool.

    3: What career would your masculine sim like?
    Careers where the majority of workers are men, careers like truck driver, work in construction, fireman, policeman, technicians, electricians, IT, or jobs related to cars.

    4: What would your masculine sim like to wear?
    They like to wear normal clothing with neutral colors. Older masculine sims like to wear formal clothing. If the sim is very muscular then they often wear some clothes to show off their muscles. This applies to both men and women.

    5: Does your masculine sim have/want body hair?
    Yes, they have body hair and I would like for Maxis to add it because body hair can add a lot to how you want your sim to look. But I mostly want beards and more masculine clothing. Guys can look really good in beards and masculine clothing like jeans and jackets and it's a shame that Maxis are not adding much of that.


    This part is what I'm talking about. In this game, if we are shooting for all-inclusive, no one should feel like a minority.

    As for your take, I love the ideas. Especially the trucker role! Imagine if the game actually had roles that took your sim away from home for extended periods of time. I wonder how that would work. Interesting thought.

    Truckers get to see different places as they deliver goods. I once hit the road with a gay, drag-queen, trucker friend of mine and have to admit, it was fun going to New York and also we went to Indiana. So yeah, great experiences! So yeah, a career that took you from one world to another for your job would be fun.

    He wasn't exactly the masculine type but still, truck driving is considered more masculine.


    I don't mind feeling as a minority as in other games boys are often dominating the player base (although it feels like more girls are getting interested in video games that people often think only boys play). That said, I do feel that men who play the sims are often assumed to be gay... and it's kinda...weird how ones sexuality preference is being defined by a game that they like to play. I'm thankful that there are content creators out there that are not openly gay that can remove that assumption.

    As for truck driving, yeah, I recently wanted to create a lumberjack and have him do truck driving, cutting down trees etc. and there are barely any assets from Maxis that I can use for that.


    Yeah, I think that assumption comes from the perception that we're playing with virtual Barbie dolls. We live in Barbie houses, have tea parties and play dress up. Lol
  • "PenguinFoop;c-18065931" wrote:
    Guns would be cool to add but I don't think those will make it because they've become too socially umm, controversial. I personally own a couple but yeah, that one would be more difficult to get. It's really good to have that discussion though and who knows, maybe?


    Yah, I actually agree with you there. It's why I didn't even remember them in my original reply. Back in the TS2 era I was asking for a "Guns & Ammo" expansion pack in the forums ALL the time. I almost never even bring it up anymore.
  • "Omri147;c-18065982" wrote:
    That is an interesting topic that is actually not talked about in relation to The Sims these days.

    At first I was answering the questions in the first post, but I keep going out of topic so I'll just post in general.

    I guess I define masculinity (and femininity) as some kind of a spectrum. One person can dress more masculine (buttonup shirts, T-shirt and jeans, heavy boots, 'muscle shirts, masculine underwear/swimwear) or have more stereotypically masculine traits, hobbies and professions (sports/exercise, woodworking, more manual stuff) and that applies to any gender. Another person would be less interested in 'masculine stuff', or maybe a mix of both masculine and feminine.

    My Sims do anything they want really. Some of my 'manly men' Sims are really stereotypical but I just have a soft spot for making male Sims who appear really manly but have hobbies that are considered more 'feminine' like baking or knitting, the 'gentle giant' type of Sim is one of my favorites to make. I especially love pairing them up with Sims who are more stereotypically masculine but are actually noticeably smaller in size. It's the Sims so I can make a very muscular and burly Sim who never actually lifted a weight in their life and loves flower arranging and pair them up with a Sim who works in a physical career like military or athlete that is actually much thinner than them. Love those pairs.

    I would like some more manual careers like some Simmers suggested here.

    My masculine Sims usually wear the things I mentioned above, but I do make exceptions depends on the Sim's personality. However, I give almost ALL of my male Sims facial hair, I've been doing that since Sims 2. I've always liked facial hair, always had facial hair myself ever since I grew out of the awkward phase in my teenage years, I think it's kind of a face fixer (or improver) so I always enjoy using it. Would always appreciate more options too.

    And for body hair, I don't really use CC but CC body hair is something I do use cause it just fits a lot of my Sims. Not all my masculine Sims have body hair though.

    I feel like I've kinda been rambling here but I hope that made sense. :sweat_smile:


    I think I get what you're saying. Masculine/feminine is more of a state of mind for you, right? Muscles don't make the man, it's personality.

    I waited until I had bought every other pack before I broke down and got the knitting one thinking I'd never use it. Now, every teen and older sim have the knitting basket in their inventory. I have everyone learning to knit. (So much for not using it.) I even caught a husband and wife knitting at the same time while watching TV. I didn't tell them to and hadn't had a chance to tell them. They did it naturally and yet somehow, it did not demasculate him in my opinion.

    So I guess I'm more interested in traditionally masculine clothes, jobs and hobbies. Of course again, not limited to men.
  • "BlueR0se;c-18066116" wrote:
    The fun thing about gender is that because it's a social construct, its definition is "fluid" in that it depends on when & where you're referring to how it's defined. Western expectations on gender roles/gender performance is going to be very different from eastern ones and that's not going into the individual countries & their cultures within each group. That being said this is an interesting conversation so let me fill out the questionnaire.

    1: How do you define masculine?
    Objectively as something that pertains to the determined "masculine" gender roles of whatever group. Personally, I grew up in the U.S. so western ideas of masculinity are heavily influences to my understanding; both the healthy and toxic aspects of masculinity in western society. Note: Feminity has its toxicity too, but this discussion is for masculinity so a topic for another occasion.

    I don't really have a specific definition but I can identify aspects when I see them (at least for western notions on masculinity). I think certain positive qualities like confidence/pride, strength, self-control, fortitude, leadership and whatnot are definitely key aspects but they aren't the only ones. I think sometimes these qualities can be taken to extremes and it ends up turning into more toxic masculine traits.

    2: What does your masculine sim like to do?
    I really don't categorize my sims has masculine/feminine too much as they tend to be more fluid. But my more masculine sims tend to be more athletic and more muscular.

    3: What career would your masculine sim like?
    Whatever is fitting for them? I feel like the game is too shallow for my sims to really "want" something.
    /
    4: What would your masculine sim like to wear?
    Whatever I want them to wear, lol. Most tend to wear general 'dude' clothes but arguably one of my most masculine sims (super ripped, has a beard, etc.) wears dresses/skirts and dresses very feminine.

    5: Does your masculine sim have/want body hair?
    My sims have body hair because I want them to have body hair. I use CC and I hope one day we can get it for basegame. Pretty much all my men (and some women) have body hair at various thickness. Some have more, some have less.

    ~~

    Ultimately, I found this kind of hard to answer because my sims are an extension of my ideas of gender and playing around with it via them. Because I don't really prescribe to my society's ideals of gender roles (or at least it's tendency to be so strict on adhering to said gender role ideals); they tend to be more fluid. Ex: Jeb Harris in my game is a handy and athletic farmer type but has a penchant for writing, playing the guitar, knitting, and floral arrangement.

    Certain hobbies/activities aren't inherently 'girly' or 'boyish' as much as it is we are associating them with those labels. And these definitions are constantly evolving/changing within their own culture.

    That being said, the game could definitely use more western 'traditionally masculine' hobbies/careers/clothes. One of the things I miss the most when it came to cars was the Sims 2's car mechanic skill. That was so much fun. Woodworking/carpentry could really use an overhaul and add more things to it.


    These are some really good points but keep in mind that the topic is masculine and inversely feminine aspects, not necessarily gender.
  • "BlueR0se;c-18066178" wrote:
    "PenguinFoop;c-18066152" wrote:
    "BlueR0se;c-18066116" wrote:
    The fun thing about gender is that because it's a social construct, its definition is "fluid" in that it depends on when & where you're referring to how it's defined. Western expectations on gender roles/gender performance is going to be very different from eastern ones and that's not going into the individual countries & their cultures within each group. That being said this is an interesting conversation so let me fill out the questionnaire.

    1: How do you define masculine?
    Objectively as something that pertains to the determined "masculine" gender roles of whatever group. Personally, I grew up in the U.S. so western ideas of masculinity are heavily influences to my understanding; both the healthy and toxic aspects of masculinity in western society. Note: Feminity has its toxicity too, but this discussion is for masculinity so a topic for another occasion.

    I don't really have a specific definition but I can identify aspects when I see them (at least for western notions on masculinity). I think certain positive qualities like confidence/pride, strength, self-control, fortitude, leadership and whatnot are definitely key aspects but they aren't the only ones. I think sometimes these qualities can be taken to extremes and it ends up turning into more toxic masculine traits.

    2: What does your masculine sim like to do?
    I really don't categorize my sims has masculine/feminine too much as they tend to be more fluid. But my more masculine sims tend to be more athletic and more muscular.

    3: What career would your masculine sim like?
    Whatever is fitting for them? I feel like the game is too shallow for my sims to really "want" something.
    /
    4: What would your masculine sim like to wear?
    Whatever I want them to wear, lol. Most tend to wear general 'dude' clothes but arguably one of my most masculine sims (super ripped, has a beard, etc.) wears dresses/skirts and dresses very feminine.

    5: Does your masculine sim have/want body hair?
    My sims have body hair because I want them to have body hair. I use CC and I hope one day we can get it for basegame. Pretty much all my men (and some women) have body hair at various thickness. Some have more, some have less.

    ~~

    Ultimately, I found this kind of hard to answer because my sims are an extension of my ideas of gender and playing around with it via them. Because I don't really prescribe to my society's ideals of gender roles (or at least it's tendency to be so strict on adhering to said gender role ideals); they tend to be more fluid. Ex: Jeb Harris in my game is a handy and athletic farmer type but has a penchant for writing, playing the guitar, knitting, and floral arrangement.

    Certain hobbies/activities aren't inherently 'girly' or 'boyish' as much as it is we are associating them with those labels. And these definitions are constantly evolving/changing within their own culture.

    That being said, the game could definitely use more western 'traditionally masculine' hobbies/careers/clothes. One of the things I miss the most when it came to cars was the Sims 2's car mechanic skill. That was so much fun. Woodworking/carpentry could really use an overhaul and add more things to it.


    These are some really good points but keep in mind that the topic is masculine and inversely feminine aspects, not necessarily gender.


    But masculinity is tied to gender (loosely)?

    Wikipedia's definition of masculinity: "Masculinity (also called manhood or manliness) is a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles associated with men and boys. Masculinity can be understood as socially constructed, and there is also evidence that some behaviors considered masculine are influenced by both cultural factors and biological factors."

    Now, are there masculine women (or women with masculine interests/behaviors)? Yes. But that's cause it's a label for something that is generally a social/cultural construct. But while it can be present in other genders, I feel like it's still tied to men by its very nature. I am all for expanding definitions and not restricting people to certain roles. But I feel like it's going to be very difficult to have a conversation about masculinity and not talk about gender (roles). If that makes sense.


    That's a good point so maybe we could say manly then? Because again there are women that fit the role and men that don't. That's why though traditionally it was assigned to men exclusively, in reality it's never truly been men only. Even in the wild west, women worked the fields, tended the animals and even did construction, mostly it was out of necessity but just like today, there were those I'm sure that did it out of desire and enjoyment too. They were just forced to do it wearing a dress.
  • "Jyotai;c-18066205" wrote:
    One of my biggest issues when 'masculine' in video games is it's often done by making some body type that is so over the top silly big that it would make Arnold Schwarzenegger look 'tiny' by comparison.

    Usually when I see a male body type that looks realistic, that looks like an actual masculine male, there's someone out there calling it too effeminate. Like... go over the Final Fantasy and they have a whole new 'race' of male bunny men with the body type of Bruce Lee and people call it 'too feminine'... If Bruce was still alive, I'd challenge anybody to say to his face and then make it out of the room alive. Even Arnold (who himself would be tiny compared to Final Fantasy's 'lion men')... ;)

    Video games seriously warp the visual perspective...



    Good point!
  • 1: How do you define masculine? I don't know how to answer this without writing a wall text. It is many things to me.

    2: What does your masculine sim like to do? He enjoys fishing, rock climbing, sports, wellness, is a great cook, and works hard so he can take his girlfriend on elaborate vacations.

    3: What career would your masculine sim like? He is in business.

    4: What would your masculine sim like to wear? Jeans and t-shirts or shirtless when he is off work.

    5: Does your masculine sim have/want body hair? Oh yes, he has lots of body hair.
  • 1. Not all gay men is a feminine or effeminated, some are just like any other traditional masculine men doing a traditional male role cant quite put how a masculine is defined but I just knew, it's not the usual toxic masculinity as that only says about men insecurity of their masculinity.

    2. I always play as male character so I usually just play the way i want to, i dont think there is an activity in sims 4 that screams very "masculine" aside from doing woodworking bench.

    3. Career is random, but never the feminine career like hair stylist etc.

    4. My sims wear a masculine male clothing, strictly.

    5: Depends on the sims, but beard is almost always.