I once had an elderly sim simply being dead when I visited their lot, no trace of stone and she was not having a career either. I checked community lots in her hood. I still hope that someone will one day find her stone off lot and pick it up to deliver it to the son. Meanwhile I just made up the story that she was old and confused, took off walking and died somewhere unknown. Luckily they had a pain ting and photo of her and the son already lived in the same house. At the graveyard there is simply a rock to symbolize her grave.
In the past I e4xperienced finding urns inside a house's foundation, or "inside" furniture etc. or caught between two stories. It made it hard to find them, but I think I found most.