A Simpsons Christmas Special: A Savage Thaw Walkthrough
Christmas is Canceled Pt. 3
Auto starts
Bart: Like all good Christmas tales, ours opens in a small town, whose citizens are about to be plunged into a nightmare of blood-soaked gore.
Marge: No gore!
Homer: Don't censor the boy, Marge. I'm sure the gore isn't gratuitous. I've never been so sure about anything.
Marge: No gore!
Bart: You really know how to hamstring an artist, Mom.
Task: Make Bart Tell a Cliché Story
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
On job start:
Bart: Terrorists have taken over a building downtown. The only hope? A rogue cop with a bad attitude.
Lisa: You're just ripping off “Die Hard”.
Bart: It's a reboot. That's what creative people do -- take an old movie, remake it, and say it's been “reimagined for a new generation”.
Marge: My little man sounds just like J.J. Abrams!
Bart: As I was saying... how many rules does this cop play by? How does “zero” sound, friend?
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Intro
Auto starts
Milhouse: Hey, Savage!
Bart: That's my name. Coincidentally, it's also a pretty good description of my character.
Milhouse: The Captain wants to see us in his office. Whatever he says, try to play by the rules for once?
Ralph: Hi, policemans! I'm the one in charge, so what I say goes for sure!
Ralph: I've got a big police job for you. You're playing Monopoly with me!
Bart: Sure, I'll play. But not by the rules.
Milhouse: Savage!
Task: Make Bart Give a Tough Guy Sneer
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Make Milhouse Try Not to Panic
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
If the user has Ralph: Task: Make Ralph Try to Remember How to Discipline
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Ralph: My police gun shot me again.
Bart: You think maybe we should take you to the hospital, Captain?
Ralph: I have a police car with police lights and police sounds and one time I ranned over a pedestrian.
Lisa: Not much of a story so far, but credit where credit's due -- Bart can really write for Ralph.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 1
Auto starts
Ralph: Robbers are robbing a bank! Somebody call the police!
Bart: Sounds like a job for a loose cannon and his gutless partner.
Milhouse: I don't know, Savage. Maybe we should sit this one out.
Ralph: The bad guys have snow shooters that sound like *pew pew*.
Marge: “Snow shooters”. I like how harmless that sounds.
Bart: Thought I'd throw you a bone there, Toots. Dad, when I say “snow shooters”, you just picture Uzis and headshots spraying red gore everywhere.
Homer: I'm on it!
Task: Make Bart Practice His Action Puns
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Make Milhouse Do Paperwork
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Collect Snowballs
Bart: All right Meeks, let's roll out.
Ralph: Have fun catching the bad guys! I'll suspend you for taking the law into your own hands when you get back!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 2
Auto starts
Bart: Okay Meeks, what are we looking at, here?
Milhouse: We got terrorists inside the bank, with an unknown number of hostages. The police negotiator is on his way, so sit tight--
Bart: Banzai charge!
Milhouse: Wait! Don't charge in until we have a plan!
Bart: I don't make plans, I make results! Chaaarge!
Task: Make Bart Storm the Snow Bank
Time: 8h
Location: Snow Bank
Task: Make Milhouse Try Not to Get Taken Hostage
Time: 8h
Location: Snow Bank
Task: Collect Snowballs
Deep Freeze: Oh no! It's rogue livewire Officer Savage! Let's make like snow and flake!
Bart: *kicks over a cabinet* Meeks, you let those charmingly snow-themed terrorists escape!
Milhouse: Uh, I was a little busy rescuing the hostages.
Bart: You're a real hero. Did you even get a look at those sweet, innocent hostages you saved?
Milhouse: Oh my God. They're... they're...
Bart: They're Christmas Carolers. The worst, most annoying people on Earth. And you let them live.
Milhouse: Nooooooo!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 3
Auto starts
Ralph: I wear my policeman's uniform over my PJs so I don't have to change into my PJs at night so bedtime is five minutes later!
Bart: Uh, you wanted to see us, Chief?
Ralph: Hand in your badge, Savage! I'm mad at you for I-forget-why!
Bart: Probably, I'm guessing, because we let the bad guys get away?
Ralph: ...
Ralph: My PJs are itchy under my uniform.
Milhouse: Let's question the hostages, see what they can tell us about the terrorists.
Task: Make Bart Play Bad Cop
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Make Milhouse Play Timid Cop
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
If the user has Ralph: Task: Make Ralph Spin in His Chair Till He Gets Sick
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Collect Snowballs
Milhouse: The terrorists are being led by a villain who calls himself “Deep Freeze”.
Bart: Figures. The really dangerous ones always choose the most whimsical names.
Milhouse: Remember when Silly McGilly shot up that mall? Peerless psycho.
Bart: Not as bad as when Love-ums the King of Hugs killed and ate an entire preschool.
Homer: You guys talking about Deep Freeze? Good guy. I met him in the bank holdup, but he let me go.
Homer: Finally! The real hero of the story arrives!
Homer: I was supposed to be his hostage, but he said I was too fat and dumb to take along. Said I smelled, too. And that I was dumb.
Homer: *ANNOYED GRUNT*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 4
Auto starts
Bart: Can I ask you a few questions, Fat Smelly Dummy?
Homer: Don't respond to that, Story Homer.
Homer: Fire away, Copper!
Homer: Dammit! Have some self-respect, me!
Bart: Did Deep Freeze reveal anything to you about his evil plan?
Homer: He wouldn't stop talking about Christmas, or all the presents he was gonna buy with the stolen loot.
Milhouse: Weird that a criminal would care so much about Christmas...
Homer: I wish I could remember more about him. Of course, my brain works best when it's black-out drunk.
Bart: To Moe's!
Task: Make Bart Visit Moe's
Time: 8h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Drink at Moe's
Time: 8h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Task: Make Deep Freeze Make it Hail Bullets
Time: 24h
Location: Snow Bank
Task: Collect Snowballs
Bart: That's ten eggnogs you've had, sir. Are you remembering anything else about the bad guy?
Homer: Nothin' yet. One more eggnog oughta do it. Or per'aps a tasty eggnog will help!
Milhouse: *heavy sigh* I think this is a dead end, this guy has no idea where Deep Freeze is.
Moe: Deep Freeze? He's robbing the Snow Bank again right now.
Bart: Why would he rob it again, when he knows it's been cleaned out?
Moe: It ain't easy coming up with new buildings for this town every couple months. Can't justify all that work unless you use them multiple times.
Bart: We'd better take the Snow Mobile.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 5
Auto starts
Bart: Chief, we're heading back to the Snow Bank. Deep Freeze is up to something.
Bart: We're not sure what, exactly. But it appears to be highly repetitive.
Ralph: Officers Rod and Todd are on site. They're authorized to pray for Deep Freeze with extreme prejudice.
Bart: Rod and Todd?! But they're incompetent!
Ralph: “Incompetent”? What's that?
Bart: Hoo boy.
Task: Make Bart and Milhouse Drive the Snow Mobile
Time: 12h
Requires: Milhouse
If the user has Ralph: Ralph: Make Ralph Play Dress Up in the Evidence Closet
Time: 12h
Task: Collect Snowballs
Rod: Surrender, Deep Freeze! We've got you surrounded by the loving embrace of forgiveness!
Todd: We've already turned one cheek. Don't make us turn the other one!
Deep Freeze: You don't scare me, Coppers.
Bart: Well maybe I do!
Deep Freeze: Savage! Okay, how about a plea deal - I'll tell youse who's really pulling the strings, and youse let me go.
Deep Freeze: Youse'll find the real kingpin at the Truck Stop Diner.
Bart: Another new building, eh? All right. Let's unlock it and see what's what.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 6
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Milhouse: I know what you're gonna say, Savage, but I'd really love to do a quick perimeter check of the diner before we--
Bart: I've got a dumber idea.
Milhouse: Don't say “banzai charge”. Don't say “banzai charge”...
Bart: *sound of explosions* How about I blow the door with TNT, and only afterwards ask you if that's a good idea?
Milhouse: You know, I'm the one who has to fill out the paperwork when you blow stuff up!
Task: Make Bart Storm the Truck Stop Diner
Time: 8h
Location: Truck Stop Diner
Task: Make Milhouse Try to Minimize the Damage
Time: 8h
Location: Truck Stop Diner
Bart: Stop right there, we've got you cornered...Santa Claus?
Santa Claus: You bet your stockings it is!
Milhouse: But why? You gone naughty on us, old man?
Santa Claus: I needed the cash! You think it's CHEAP making toys for every child in the world?
Santa Claus: And if I occasionally want to enjoy a high-end wine, or add to my collection of fine timepieces, do you think that's easy on a saint's income?
Bart: Well, I suppose my partner and I could look the other way... for a cut of the loot.
Homer: Savage is a crooked cop?! What a twist!
Lisa: That's cheating! To be satisfying, a twist has to be both well set up AND motivated by character. Otherwise it's just cheap!
Homer: Then why am I so completely satisfied and fulfilled as an audience member? Huh? Answer that!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Christmas is Canceled Pt. 4
Auto starts
Homer: *slow clap* Wow! What a story! I never could have predicted Officer Savage was a bad guy.
Lisa: That's my point. There was nothing prior to the big reveal to indicate, however subtly, that--
Bart: Face it, Lisa. The public loved my story. And the ignorant masses are never wrong about these things.
Marge: I don't know, that story was a little violent for me. There were so many car chases and explosions!
Homer: The bedrock of any great story is car chases and explosions. Aristotle said that.
Marge: What about a good romance? Everyone loves love.
Homer: The trick is to find the right amount of nudity. Brief enough that it doesn't damage the children, but long enough that I give a damn.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Santa's Little Helper, 30 Years Ago
Auto starts
Quest reward: Santa's Little Helper
System Message: Santa’s Little Helper now has a special animated job to celebrate thirty years since “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” premiered on TV – December 17th 1989.
Auto starts
Bart: Like all good Christmas tales, ours opens in a small town, whose citizens are about to be plunged into a nightmare of blood-soaked gore.
Marge: No gore!
Homer: Don't censor the boy, Marge. I'm sure the gore isn't gratuitous. I've never been so sure about anything.
Marge: No gore!
Bart: You really know how to hamstring an artist, Mom.
Task: Make Bart Tell a Cliché Story
Time: 6s
Location: Simpson House
On job start:
Bart: Terrorists have taken over a building downtown. The only hope? A rogue cop with a bad attitude.
Lisa: You're just ripping off “Die Hard”.
Bart: It's a reboot. That's what creative people do -- take an old movie, remake it, and say it's been “reimagined for a new generation”.
Marge: My little man sounds just like J.J. Abrams!
Bart: As I was saying... how many rules does this cop play by? How does “zero” sound, friend?
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Intro
Auto starts
Milhouse: Hey, Savage!
Bart: That's my name. Coincidentally, it's also a pretty good description of my character.
Milhouse: The Captain wants to see us in his office. Whatever he says, try to play by the rules for once?
Ralph: Hi, policemans! I'm the one in charge, so what I say goes for sure!
Ralph: I've got a big police job for you. You're playing Monopoly with me!
Bart: Sure, I'll play. But not by the rules.
Milhouse: Savage!
Task: Make Bart Give a Tough Guy Sneer
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Make Milhouse Try Not to Panic
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
If the user has Ralph: Task: Make Ralph Try to Remember How to Discipline
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Ralph: My police gun shot me again.
Bart: You think maybe we should take you to the hospital, Captain?
Ralph: I have a police car with police lights and police sounds and one time I ranned over a pedestrian.
Lisa: Not much of a story so far, but credit where credit's due -- Bart can really write for Ralph.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 1
Auto starts
Ralph: Robbers are robbing a bank! Somebody call the police!
Bart: Sounds like a job for a loose cannon and his gutless partner.
Milhouse: I don't know, Savage. Maybe we should sit this one out.
Ralph: The bad guys have snow shooters that sound like *pew pew*.
Marge: “Snow shooters”. I like how harmless that sounds.
Bart: Thought I'd throw you a bone there, Toots. Dad, when I say “snow shooters”, you just picture Uzis and headshots spraying red gore everywhere.
Homer: I'm on it!
Task: Make Bart Practice His Action Puns
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Make Milhouse Do Paperwork
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Collect Snowballs
Bart: All right Meeks, let's roll out.
Ralph: Have fun catching the bad guys! I'll suspend you for taking the law into your own hands when you get back!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 2
Auto starts
Bart: Okay Meeks, what are we looking at, here?
Milhouse: We got terrorists inside the bank, with an unknown number of hostages. The police negotiator is on his way, so sit tight--
Bart: Banzai charge!
Milhouse: Wait! Don't charge in until we have a plan!
Bart: I don't make plans, I make results! Chaaarge!
Task: Make Bart Storm the Snow Bank
Time: 8h
Location: Snow Bank
Task: Make Milhouse Try Not to Get Taken Hostage
Time: 8h
Location: Snow Bank
Task: Collect Snowballs
Deep Freeze: Oh no! It's rogue livewire Officer Savage! Let's make like snow and flake!
Bart: *kicks over a cabinet* Meeks, you let those charmingly snow-themed terrorists escape!
Milhouse: Uh, I was a little busy rescuing the hostages.
Bart: You're a real hero. Did you even get a look at those sweet, innocent hostages you saved?
Milhouse: Oh my God. They're... they're...
Bart: They're Christmas Carolers. The worst, most annoying people on Earth. And you let them live.
Milhouse: Nooooooo!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 3
Auto starts
Ralph: I wear my policeman's uniform over my PJs so I don't have to change into my PJs at night so bedtime is five minutes later!
Bart: Uh, you wanted to see us, Chief?
Ralph: Hand in your badge, Savage! I'm mad at you for I-forget-why!
Bart: Probably, I'm guessing, because we let the bad guys get away?
Ralph: ...
Ralph: My PJs are itchy under my uniform.
Milhouse: Let's question the hostages, see what they can tell us about the terrorists.
Task: Make Bart Play Bad Cop
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Make Milhouse Play Timid Cop
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
If the user has Ralph: Task: Make Ralph Spin in His Chair Till He Gets Sick
Time: 4h
Location: Police Station, Springfield Penitentiary or Brown House
Task: Collect Snowballs
Milhouse: The terrorists are being led by a villain who calls himself “Deep Freeze”.
Bart: Figures. The really dangerous ones always choose the most whimsical names.
Milhouse: Remember when Silly McGilly shot up that mall? Peerless psycho.
Bart: Not as bad as when Love-ums the King of Hugs killed and ate an entire preschool.
Homer: You guys talking about Deep Freeze? Good guy. I met him in the bank holdup, but he let me go.
Homer: Finally! The real hero of the story arrives!
Homer: I was supposed to be his hostage, but he said I was too fat and dumb to take along. Said I smelled, too. And that I was dumb.
Homer: *ANNOYED GRUNT*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 4
Auto starts
Bart: Can I ask you a few questions, Fat Smelly Dummy?
Homer: Don't respond to that, Story Homer.
Homer: Fire away, Copper!
Homer: Dammit! Have some self-respect, me!
Bart: Did Deep Freeze reveal anything to you about his evil plan?
Homer: He wouldn't stop talking about Christmas, or all the presents he was gonna buy with the stolen loot.
Milhouse: Weird that a criminal would care so much about Christmas...
Homer: I wish I could remember more about him. Of course, my brain works best when it's black-out drunk.
Bart: To Moe's!
Task: Make Bart Visit Moe's
Time: 8h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Drink at Moe's
Time: 8h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Task: Make Deep Freeze Make it Hail Bullets
Time: 24h
Location: Snow Bank
Task: Collect Snowballs
Bart: That's ten eggnogs you've had, sir. Are you remembering anything else about the bad guy?
Homer: Nothin' yet. One more eggnog oughta do it. Or per'aps a tasty eggnog will help!
Milhouse: *heavy sigh* I think this is a dead end, this guy has no idea where Deep Freeze is.
Moe: Deep Freeze? He's robbing the Snow Bank again right now.
Bart: Why would he rob it again, when he knows it's been cleaned out?
Moe: It ain't easy coming up with new buildings for this town every couple months. Can't justify all that work unless you use them multiple times.
Bart: We'd better take the Snow Mobile.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 5
Auto starts
Bart: Chief, we're heading back to the Snow Bank. Deep Freeze is up to something.
Bart: We're not sure what, exactly. But it appears to be highly repetitive.
Ralph: Officers Rod and Todd are on site. They're authorized to pray for Deep Freeze with extreme prejudice.
Bart: Rod and Todd?! But they're incompetent!
Ralph: “Incompetent”? What's that?
Bart: Hoo boy.
Task: Make Bart and Milhouse Drive the Snow Mobile
Time: 12h
Requires: Milhouse
If the user has Ralph: Ralph: Make Ralph Play Dress Up in the Evidence Closet
Time: 12h
Task: Collect Snowballs
Rod: Surrender, Deep Freeze! We've got you surrounded by the loving embrace of forgiveness!
Todd: We've already turned one cheek. Don't make us turn the other one!
Deep Freeze: You don't scare me, Coppers.
Bart: Well maybe I do!
Deep Freeze: Savage! Okay, how about a plea deal - I'll tell youse who's really pulling the strings, and youse let me go.
Deep Freeze: Youse'll find the real kingpin at the Truck Stop Diner.
Bart: Another new building, eh? All right. Let's unlock it and see what's what.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
A Savage Thaw Pt. 6
Auto starts
Milhouse: I know what you're gonna say, Savage, but I'd really love to do a quick perimeter check of the diner before we--
Bart: I've got a dumber idea.
Milhouse: Don't say “banzai charge”. Don't say “banzai charge”...
Bart: *sound of explosions* How about I blow the door with TNT, and only afterwards ask you if that's a good idea?
Milhouse: You know, I'm the one who has to fill out the paperwork when you blow stuff up!
Task: Make Bart Storm the Truck Stop Diner
Time: 8h
Location: Truck Stop Diner
Task: Make Milhouse Try to Minimize the Damage
Time: 8h
Location: Truck Stop Diner
Bart: Stop right there, we've got you cornered...Santa Claus?
Santa Claus: You bet your stockings it is!
Milhouse: But why? You gone naughty on us, old man?
Santa Claus: I needed the cash! You think it's CHEAP making toys for every child in the world?
Santa Claus: And if I occasionally want to enjoy a high-end wine, or add to my collection of fine timepieces, do you think that's easy on a saint's income?
Bart: Well, I suppose my partner and I could look the other way... for a cut of the loot.
Homer: Savage is a crooked cop?! What a twist!
Lisa: That's cheating! To be satisfying, a twist has to be both well set up AND motivated by character. Otherwise it's just cheap!
Homer: Then why am I so completely satisfied and fulfilled as an audience member? Huh? Answer that!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Christmas is Canceled Pt. 4
Auto starts
Homer: *slow clap* Wow! What a story! I never could have predicted Officer Savage was a bad guy.
Lisa: That's my point. There was nothing prior to the big reveal to indicate, however subtly, that--
Bart: Face it, Lisa. The public loved my story. And the ignorant masses are never wrong about these things.
Marge: I don't know, that story was a little violent for me. There were so many car chases and explosions!
Homer: The bedrock of any great story is car chases and explosions. Aristotle said that.
Marge: What about a good romance? Everyone loves love.
Homer: The trick is to find the right amount of nudity. Brief enough that it doesn't damage the children, but long enough that I give a damn.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Santa's Little Helper, 30 Years Ago
Auto starts
Quest reward: Santa's Little Helper
System Message: Santa’s Little Helper now has a special animated job to celebrate thirty years since “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” premiered on TV – December 17th 1989.
