Black History: Prizes Walkthrough
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 1
If the user has Janie: Janey starts
If the user doesn't have Janie: Auto starts
Janey: Hey Lisa, Lewis and I are in a new band. Would you like to join?
Lisa: Really? But aren’t we frenemies?
Janey: Eh, it depends on the episode. I guess the writers need us to pal it up for this one.
Lisa: Okay! I’m in.
Janey: Hold on. You have to audition first.
Lisa: Audition? But this is a kids band.
Clarissa Wellington: Not just any kid’s.
Lisa: Clarissa Wellington! You’re a famous singer! You beat me on Krusty’s “Li’l Starmaker” show and became a star.
Clarissa Wellington: I remember winning. I remember becoming a star, but I don’t remember you. Hm. I hope you play sax better than you leave impressions.
Lisa: *annoyed growl*
Clarissa Wellington: Alright, make with the toots, toots. Chop chop.
Task: Make Lisa Blow Clarissa Away Sax-Wise
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Clarissa Wellington: Not bad, Pineapple. You’re in.
Lisa: Pineapple?!
Janey: She gives everyone a nickname so she doesn’t have to remember their actual names. I’m “Matchy Matchy” because my socks match my dress.
Lewis Clark: I’m “Wendell” because I was standing next to Wendell when she met me.
Clarissa Wellington: And you’re “Pineapple” cuz those jazz licks were sweet and tart.
Lisa: Oh, I guess that’s not so…
Clarissa Wellington: And your dumb hairdo looks like a pineapple.
Lisa: *annoyed growl*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: I don’t want to play in a band with such a rude prima donna.
Clarissa Wellington: Suit yourself. Guess you don’t like making money.
Lisa: You’re playing paid gigs?
Clarissa Wellington: Of course I am.
Janey: C’mon Lisa. You know you need money for your college fund.
Lisa: It’s true. It’s slowly becoming Bart’s Legal Defense Fund. I better think about this.
Task: Make Lisa Ponder, Consider, and Ruminate Over It
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Lisa: Fine, I’ll do it. So what are we doing? Playing birthday parties? Street fairs?
Clarissa Wellington: I’m going on a summer tour. Five hundred cities in ninety days.
Lisa: Whaaaaaaaaaa???!!!!
Moe: Hey, that's my catchphrase! But you can borrow it if you let me in this story.
Clarissa Wellington: Lisa, can you tell your friend the Hunchback King to go away? We’ve got to rehearse!
Moe: Wow. Nobody ever called me no king before. *wipes tear* Thank you.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 3
Clarissa Wellington starts
Clarissa Wellington: Alright. The first stop is going to be the Krusty the Clown Show.
Lisa: How exciting!
Clarissa Wellington: All of our tour bookings are based on how we do there. If it goes great, I’ll be rich! As will you, to a much, much lesser extent.
Lisa: What if the show doesn’t go great?
Clarissa Wellington: I will make it my personal mission in life to break my foot off in your tush. Sorry. My mom-ager says I’m not allowed to say ass.
Offscreen Mom: Clarissa!
Clarissa Wellington: Sorry, mommy!
Task: Make Clarissa Wellington Put Two Thousand Dollars in the Swear Jar
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Lisa: Well, Janey is great on piano, and Lewis is a maestro on bass.
Lewis Clark: Don’t sell yourself short either. You are just as renowned for your talents as we are for ours.
Janey: We’ll do great. So when are we doing the Krusty show? In a month or two?
Clarissa Wellington: At five o’clock today. That’s two hours from now, so let’s start writing the original song we’re gonna perform.
Moe: Whaaaaaaa???!!!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 4
Lisa starts
Lisa: We can’t come up with an original song on the fly!
Clarissa Wellington: We need the rights to perform a song on TV, dummy. And it’s too late to get them now!
Lisa: Hmm. Not if the song is over a hundred years old. Then it’s public domain!
Clarissa Wellington: I don’t want to sing some dusty old song about frankfurter sandwiches. I want a song that means something.
Janey: What about “Lift Every Voice and Sing”?
Lewis Clark: The Black National Anthem?
Lisa: Of course. Mr. Largo already taught it to us for the Black History Month Showcase. And it just turned a hundred years old!
Clarissa Wellington: Hmm. That could work. Let’s try it out. A-one, and a-two, and a-one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve come-on-in-on-thirteen…
Task: Make Clarissa Wellington Jam Out to "Lift Every Voice and Sing"
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Clarissa Wellington: Wow! That was great. No wonder Beyoncé did it at Coachella. We’re gonna blow the Krusty audience away!
Lewis Clark: There is no audience. They do it pre-taped now ever since Robby Fry the Animal Guy was mauled to death by that panther.
Lisa: Oh, right. Poor Robby Fry. They never did find out where that panther came from.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 5
Krusty starts
Krusty: Alright. Before you ask, no you can’t use my private bathroom, the check is in the mail, and my producer will cue you in after my “Baby Garbage Man” sketch is done. Break a whatever.
Lisa: Do we have to perform on this chalk outline of Robby Fry?
Krusty: Of course you don’t. Here’s a mop. Knock yourself out.
Clarissa Wellington: Alright. Are you small time saps ready for the big time? You better be, or you’ll be busking on the sidewalk for Canadian loonies.
Lewis Clark: You know, we don’t like it when you talk to us that way.
Clarissa Wellington: You… you don’t?
Lisa: Of course not! It’s rude.
Clarissa Wellington: I’m… sorry. I thought part of being a star was acting like a total B all the time.
Bumblebee Man: Do not bring me into this. I treat my crew with mucho respeto.
Clarissa Wellington: I am so sorry. If we kill this performance, I promise to spend the rest of the tour making it up to you all.
Task: Make Clarissa Wellington Kill This Performance
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Lisa: Wow, Clarissa, you were amazing! I was moved to tears!
Krusty: Hey hey, kids! The phones are lighting up like crazy ! Everyone’s calling in to say…
Lisa: Uh huh…
Lewis Clark: Uh huh…
Clarissa Wellington: Uh huh…
Janey: Uh huh…
Krusty: That they can’t see a thing. The satellite feed must’ve cut out during my sketch. I’m so sorry that the American TV audience never got a chance to see me play a garbage man in a diaper.
Clarissa Wellington: When can we come back to perform? Tomorrow? Next week?
Krusty: Try ten months from now. My forty week hiatus starts today. I’d love to have you back though. Assuming I don’t die from all the things I plan to do during my time off.
Clarissa Wellington: *sigh* Well, I guess the tour's off. But I learned a valuable lesson along the way.
Lisa: To treat people the way they’d like to be treated?
Clarissa Wellington: No. To stop doing local TV. This type of thing would never happen on The View!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Starlight Pt. 1
If the user has Lindsey Naegle: Lindsey Naegle starts
If the user doesn't have Lindsey Naegle: Auto starts
Lindsey Naegle: There’s my favorite client! Opal, darling! Give me a hug, you magnificent daytime supernova! What brings you to the office?
Opal: I’m tired of doing my talk show. It’s so boring! “Troubled Toddlers”, "Cannibal Cooking Tips for the Apocalypse”, “My husband’s cheating on me with a serial killer”. It’s all so mundane! I want to take my talents to the silver screen!
Lindsey Naegle: As your agent, I totally support your creative ambitions.
Lindsey Naegle: But as someone who makes her leech-like living off of you, I don’t think this is a great idea. There’s way less money in movies. How about you make a luxury perfume instead?
Opal: Get me in a movie, or you’re fired.
Lindsey Naegle: Yes, ma’am! I’ll get some feelers out right away.
Task: Make Lindsey Put Some Feelers Out
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Lindsey Naegle: So, I got my feelers out there…
Opal: Stop saying “feelers”. It’s gross.
Lindsey Naegle: And I found out that Drederick Tatum is producing a biopic about the life of Shirley Chisholm. Such an important story. So inspiring. So timely.
Opal: You don’t know who that is, do you?
Lindsey Naegle: No, but my assistant is summarizing her Wikipedia page then tweeting it to me.
Opal: She was the first black woman to run for president of the United States!
Lindsey Naegle: Right. And what a president she was!
Opal: Just set up the audition.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Starlight Pt. 2
Opal starts
Opal: Hi, I'm here for the audition.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Sign your name here and wait for the—OMG! You’re TV’s Opal! My mom loves your show! She’s always telling me to shut up when it’s on. And again after it’s over.
Opal: Always nice to meet the emotionally abused son of a fan.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Say, you must get this all the time, and I’m sorry to ask, but can I get…
Opal: An autograph?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: No. A new car. No hybrids!
Opal: What? I’m not gonna give you a car!
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Why not? You give em away on your show all the time!
Opal: That’s a television show. This is the real world... sort of.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Hand over some car keys or you’re not auditioning for squat.
Opal: Why you little punk! You’re lucky I brought a spare today!
Task: Make Opal Hand Over the Keys to Her Spare Car
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Ooh. A Canyonero roadster. Nice!
Opal: I hope you crash into a gas station.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Fingers crossed. Then I can sue you for gifting me a death trap!
Opal: D'oh!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Starlight Pt. 3
If the user has Anger Watkins starts: Anger Watkins starts starts
If the user doesn't have Anger Watkins starts: Auto starts
Anger Watkins: Is that my old friend Opal I see?
Opal: Anger Watkins! Helloooooooo! Give it up for Anger, everyone!
Anger Watkins: There’s no one here but us.
Opal: Sorry. Force of habit. What are you doing here?
Anger Watkins: I’m auditioning for the role of the karate teacher with a mysterious past.
Opal: Oh, must be a different movie.
Anger Watkins: It’s the Shirley Chisolm biopic.
Opal: I’ve gotta read that script. So, what’s new, Anger?
Anger Watkins: I just wrote an autobiography. It’s called “Untreated Anger Issues”.
Opal: Sounds wonderful!
Anger Watkins: It is, dammit! Which is why I was hoping you could put it on your Opal’s Book Club list.
Opal: Oh, well. I’d have to read it and see if it fits with…
Anger Watkins: Pish posh, girl! Hook a brother up with some sales. I’m trying to buy me a Tesla Cybertruck!
Opal: Oh Lord.
Task: Make Opal Try to Politely Decline
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Anger Watkins: Don’t you politely decline me!
Opal: Anger, honey, sports books aren’t right for my book club.
Anger Watkins: Well, make it right, or else I’ll tell my good friend Drederick Tatum not to put you in his movie.
Opal: Fine. I’ll play ball, you jerk. But If I don’t get this movie, I’m going to kill you…r career as a sports journalist. *whispers to self* Whew, saved it.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Starlight Pt. 4
If the user has Drederick Tatum: Drederick Tatum starts
If the user doesn't have Drederick Tatum: Auto starts
Drederick Tatum: Opal! My goodness. The fact that a star of your caliber would think to audition for a role is both humbling and awe-inspiring. I am inspired with awe.
Opal: I’m happy to do it, Drederick. I have been working with a method acting coach.
Boxing Drederick Tatum: A meth-head acting coach? Wow, that sounds like a challenge. Good for you. Alright, whenever you’re ready, begin.
Opal: Okay. Give me a moment to BECOME Shirley.
Task: Make Opal Give the Audition of a Lifetime
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Boxing Drederick Tatum: Goodness gracious. That was incredible. I don’t need to see anyone else audition. Tell Viola Davis to respectfully take a hike. Opal you technically knocked out the champ, metaphorically of course.
Opal: Oh, thank you Drederick. I promise I’m not going to let you down!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Starlight Pt. 5
Krusty starts
Tuxedo Krusty: The nominees for best actress in a lead role are… Scarlett Johansson in “The Imelda Marcos Story”, Viola Davis in “The Respectful Hike”, and Opal in “Chisolm’s Choice”.
Drederick Tatum: You’re a shoo-in, Opal.
Lindsey Naegle: I always believed in you, superstar. Even when I didn’t!
Anger Watkins: It’s all you girl!
Squeaky Voice Attendant: And I’m here too!
Opal: Oh, man. I hope I get this.
Tuxedo Krusty: And the winner is….
Task: Make Opal Cross Her Bejeweled Fingers
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Tuxedo Krusty: Opal, in “Chisolm’s Choice"!!!
Opal: Oh my God!
Opal: There are so many people I’d like to thank. But first, let me air out the grievances I have with all the terrible people I had to deal with to get here.
Lindsey Naegle: Uh oh.
Opal: Lindsey Naegle, my agent who didn’t think I should be in movies. You’re fired!
Lindsey Naegle: And rightfully so.
Opal: The Squeaky Voice Teen, whose name escapes me at the moment, who made me give him a car. Screw you, you little twerp.
Opal: And Anger Watkins, America’s least talented loudmouth sportscaster. I promoted his terrible book so that he wouldn’t bad mouth me to Drederick.
Opal: But even the Opal bump couldn’t help sell that garbage heap of a memoir.
Anger Watkins: It’s true. My life isn’t interesting!
Opal: Whew. It feels good to vent. Now to thank everyone who actually believed in me, starting with Drederi— *cut-off by music*
Opal: D'oh!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Nature Walk Pt. 1
Abraham Simpson I starts
Abraham Simpson I: Can I have some wheel cakes, Mommy? I’m hungry.
Mabel Simpson: You just ate half a dozen!
Abraham Simpson I: Now I can eat the other half.
Mabel Simpson: No, you’ll spoil your supper.
Abraham Simpson I: D’oh. Um, can I go swimming instead, Mommy?
Mabel Simpson: That river current is too strong for you. Just play around the house where I can see you.
Abraham Simpson I: Okay, I’m gonna go wash behind my ears, then play outside. Heh heh.
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Play Outside
Time: 1h
Location: Deep Dark Woods or Brown House
Abraham Simpson I: Being outside sucks. Hm. Sucks. I wonder if anyone’s ever used that word as an insult. Maybe I just invented it! Woo hoo!
Abraham Simpson I: *singing* Suck suck suck. Everything sucks. The trees, and the bees, and nature sucks. *Gasp* Ooh, a beautiful butterfly. I wanna smash it!
Abraham Simpson I: C’mere you! Lemme smash you and put you in a book, so I can gaze at your beauty forever!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
ature Walk Pt. 2
Abraham Simpson I starts
Abraham Simpson I: Where did you go, butterfly? Come back! I won't smash you, I’ll just starve you under a glass. Isn’t that better?
Abraham Simpson I: Uh oh, I don't recognize this part of the woods. It’s kinda scary. Maybe a witch lives here. Or a troll. Or an old man who sits around writing poetry all day! *shrieks*
Abraham Simpson I: I can hear the river, maybe I can follow it home.
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Follow the River
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Abraham Simpson I: Ugh. Following rivers takes forever. It goes so much faster than me. Just look how fast those logs in it are going. Hmm. That gives me a brilliant idea.
Abraham Simpson I: Abraham Simpson the First, you are the smartest boy in the whole world!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Nature Walk Pt. 3
Abraham Simpson I starts
Abraham Simpson I: I’ll explain my idea to myself out loud, just to make sure I got it.
Abraham Simpson I: I’ll get on top of one of these driftwood logs on the riverbank, kick it into the river, then ride that log like a horsey all the way home.
Abraham Simpson I: When I get to a place I recognize, I’ll safely stop and get off the speeding river somehow. Here I go!
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Ride That Log Like a Horse
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Abraham Simpson I: Gah! This is nothing like riding a horse! It’s scary, it smells bad, and it’s hurting my crotch!
Abraham Simpson I: I'm going too fast. Help! Help!!!
Virgil Simpson: Abraham Simpson, is that you, son?
Abraham Simpson I: Which Abraham Simpson are you looking for?
Virgil Simpson: The first!
Abraham Simpson I: Yes, it’s me, Poppa! Help! It’s an emergency!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Nature Walk Pt. 4
If the user has Virgil Simpson: Virgil Simpson starts
If the user doesn't have Virgil Simpson: Auto starts
Virgil Simpson: Son! What’re you doing on that log?
Abraham Simpson I: I was trying to ride it home. I thought it was the local, but it must be the express.
Virgil Simpson: I’m gonna throw you this rope. Grab onto it!
Abraham Simpson I: Okay. I’m gonna put all my focus on catching the r-- Ooh, there’s that butterfly!
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Catch the Rope
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Abraham Simpson I: I got it!
Virgil Simpson: I’m gonna pull you in. Do not drop the rope to grab the butterfly.
Abraham Simpson I: Okay, but now that you said it, it’s all I can think about.
Virgil Simpson: Don’t drop that dang rope, boy! If you drown today, I’m gonna give you such a spanking!
Abraham Simpson I: Yes, sir.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Nature Walk Pt. 5
If the user has Mabel Simpson: Mabel Simpson starts
If the user doesn't have Mabel Simpson: Auto starts
Mabel Simpson: Look who’s home. Where have you two been? And why is Abe all wet?
Abraham Simpson I: I was, uh, out chasing butterflies when I fell in the--
Virgil Simpson: --horse’s water trough! Clumsy little man. Just got a little wet is all. Certainly didn’t risk death, or anything.
Mabel Simpson: Alright, get ready for supper you two.
Abraham Simpson I: Wow, thanks for covering for me, Poppa. If Mommy woulda found out I was by the river, she would’ve spanked me somethin’ awful.
Virgil Simpson: I’m not gonna tell her, son. Because you’re gonna give me all your wheel cakes for a month.
Abraham Simpson I: Awwwww. Is it too late to just drown instead?
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Wish He'd Drowned
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
If the user has Janie: Janey starts
If the user doesn't have Janie: Auto starts
Janey: Hey Lisa, Lewis and I are in a new band. Would you like to join?
Lisa: Really? But aren’t we frenemies?
Janey: Eh, it depends on the episode. I guess the writers need us to pal it up for this one.
Lisa: Okay! I’m in.
Janey: Hold on. You have to audition first.
Lisa: Audition? But this is a kids band.
Clarissa Wellington: Not just any kid’s.
Lisa: Clarissa Wellington! You’re a famous singer! You beat me on Krusty’s “Li’l Starmaker” show and became a star.
Clarissa Wellington: I remember winning. I remember becoming a star, but I don’t remember you. Hm. I hope you play sax better than you leave impressions.
Lisa: *annoyed growl*
Clarissa Wellington: Alright, make with the toots, toots. Chop chop.
Task: Make Lisa Blow Clarissa Away Sax-Wise
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Clarissa Wellington: Not bad, Pineapple. You’re in.
Lisa: Pineapple?!
Janey: She gives everyone a nickname so she doesn’t have to remember their actual names. I’m “Matchy Matchy” because my socks match my dress.
Lewis Clark: I’m “Wendell” because I was standing next to Wendell when she met me.
Clarissa Wellington: And you’re “Pineapple” cuz those jazz licks were sweet and tart.
Lisa: Oh, I guess that’s not so…
Clarissa Wellington: And your dumb hairdo looks like a pineapple.
Lisa: *annoyed growl*
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: I don’t want to play in a band with such a rude prima donna.
Clarissa Wellington: Suit yourself. Guess you don’t like making money.
Lisa: You’re playing paid gigs?
Clarissa Wellington: Of course I am.
Janey: C’mon Lisa. You know you need money for your college fund.
Lisa: It’s true. It’s slowly becoming Bart’s Legal Defense Fund. I better think about this.
Task: Make Lisa Ponder, Consider, and Ruminate Over It
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Lisa: Fine, I’ll do it. So what are we doing? Playing birthday parties? Street fairs?
Clarissa Wellington: I’m going on a summer tour. Five hundred cities in ninety days.
Lisa: Whaaaaaaaaaa???!!!!
Moe: Hey, that's my catchphrase! But you can borrow it if you let me in this story.
Clarissa Wellington: Lisa, can you tell your friend the Hunchback King to go away? We’ve got to rehearse!
Moe: Wow. Nobody ever called me no king before. *wipes tear* Thank you.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 3
Clarissa Wellington starts
Clarissa Wellington: Alright. The first stop is going to be the Krusty the Clown Show.
Lisa: How exciting!
Clarissa Wellington: All of our tour bookings are based on how we do there. If it goes great, I’ll be rich! As will you, to a much, much lesser extent.
Lisa: What if the show doesn’t go great?
Clarissa Wellington: I will make it my personal mission in life to break my foot off in your tush. Sorry. My mom-ager says I’m not allowed to say ass.
Offscreen Mom: Clarissa!
Clarissa Wellington: Sorry, mommy!
Task: Make Clarissa Wellington Put Two Thousand Dollars in the Swear Jar
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Lisa: Well, Janey is great on piano, and Lewis is a maestro on bass.
Lewis Clark: Don’t sell yourself short either. You are just as renowned for your talents as we are for ours.
Janey: We’ll do great. So when are we doing the Krusty show? In a month or two?
Clarissa Wellington: At five o’clock today. That’s two hours from now, so let’s start writing the original song we’re gonna perform.
Moe: Whaaaaaaa???!!!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 4
Lisa starts
Lisa: We can’t come up with an original song on the fly!
Clarissa Wellington: We need the rights to perform a song on TV, dummy. And it’s too late to get them now!
Lisa: Hmm. Not if the song is over a hundred years old. Then it’s public domain!
Clarissa Wellington: I don’t want to sing some dusty old song about frankfurter sandwiches. I want a song that means something.
Janey: What about “Lift Every Voice and Sing”?
Lewis Clark: The Black National Anthem?
Lisa: Of course. Mr. Largo already taught it to us for the Black History Month Showcase. And it just turned a hundred years old!
Clarissa Wellington: Hmm. That could work. Let’s try it out. A-one, and a-two, and a-one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve come-on-in-on-thirteen…
Task: Make Clarissa Wellington Jam Out to "Lift Every Voice and Sing"
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Clarissa Wellington: Wow! That was great. No wonder Beyoncé did it at Coachella. We’re gonna blow the Krusty audience away!
Lewis Clark: There is no audience. They do it pre-taped now ever since Robby Fry the Animal Guy was mauled to death by that panther.
Lisa: Oh, right. Poor Robby Fry. They never did find out where that panther came from.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Band In The U.S.A. Pt. 5
Krusty starts
Krusty: Alright. Before you ask, no you can’t use my private bathroom, the check is in the mail, and my producer will cue you in after my “Baby Garbage Man” sketch is done. Break a whatever.
Lisa: Do we have to perform on this chalk outline of Robby Fry?
Krusty: Of course you don’t. Here’s a mop. Knock yourself out.
Clarissa Wellington: Alright. Are you small time saps ready for the big time? You better be, or you’ll be busking on the sidewalk for Canadian loonies.
Lewis Clark: You know, we don’t like it when you talk to us that way.
Clarissa Wellington: You… you don’t?
Lisa: Of course not! It’s rude.
Clarissa Wellington: I’m… sorry. I thought part of being a star was acting like a total B all the time.
Bumblebee Man: Do not bring me into this. I treat my crew with mucho respeto.
Clarissa Wellington: I am so sorry. If we kill this performance, I promise to spend the rest of the tour making it up to you all.
Task: Make Clarissa Wellington Kill This Performance
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Lisa: Wow, Clarissa, you were amazing! I was moved to tears!
Krusty: Hey hey, kids! The phones are lighting up like crazy ! Everyone’s calling in to say…
Lisa: Uh huh…
Lewis Clark: Uh huh…
Clarissa Wellington: Uh huh…
Janey: Uh huh…
Krusty: That they can’t see a thing. The satellite feed must’ve cut out during my sketch. I’m so sorry that the American TV audience never got a chance to see me play a garbage man in a diaper.
Clarissa Wellington: When can we come back to perform? Tomorrow? Next week?
Krusty: Try ten months from now. My forty week hiatus starts today. I’d love to have you back though. Assuming I don’t die from all the things I plan to do during my time off.
Clarissa Wellington: *sigh* Well, I guess the tour's off. But I learned a valuable lesson along the way.
Lisa: To treat people the way they’d like to be treated?
Clarissa Wellington: No. To stop doing local TV. This type of thing would never happen on The View!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Starlight Pt. 1
If the user has Lindsey Naegle: Lindsey Naegle starts
If the user doesn't have Lindsey Naegle: Auto starts
Lindsey Naegle: There’s my favorite client! Opal, darling! Give me a hug, you magnificent daytime supernova! What brings you to the office?
Opal: I’m tired of doing my talk show. It’s so boring! “Troubled Toddlers”, "Cannibal Cooking Tips for the Apocalypse”, “My husband’s cheating on me with a serial killer”. It’s all so mundane! I want to take my talents to the silver screen!
Lindsey Naegle: As your agent, I totally support your creative ambitions.
Lindsey Naegle: But as someone who makes her leech-like living off of you, I don’t think this is a great idea. There’s way less money in movies. How about you make a luxury perfume instead?
Opal: Get me in a movie, or you’re fired.
Lindsey Naegle: Yes, ma’am! I’ll get some feelers out right away.
Task: Make Lindsey Put Some Feelers Out
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Lindsey Naegle: So, I got my feelers out there…
Opal: Stop saying “feelers”. It’s gross.
Lindsey Naegle: And I found out that Drederick Tatum is producing a biopic about the life of Shirley Chisholm. Such an important story. So inspiring. So timely.
Opal: You don’t know who that is, do you?
Lindsey Naegle: No, but my assistant is summarizing her Wikipedia page then tweeting it to me.
Opal: She was the first black woman to run for president of the United States!
Lindsey Naegle: Right. And what a president she was!
Opal: Just set up the audition.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Starlight Pt. 2
Opal starts
Opal: Hi, I'm here for the audition.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Sign your name here and wait for the—OMG! You’re TV’s Opal! My mom loves your show! She’s always telling me to shut up when it’s on. And again after it’s over.
Opal: Always nice to meet the emotionally abused son of a fan.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Say, you must get this all the time, and I’m sorry to ask, but can I get…
Opal: An autograph?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: No. A new car. No hybrids!
Opal: What? I’m not gonna give you a car!
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Why not? You give em away on your show all the time!
Opal: That’s a television show. This is the real world... sort of.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Hand over some car keys or you’re not auditioning for squat.
Opal: Why you little punk! You’re lucky I brought a spare today!
Task: Make Opal Hand Over the Keys to Her Spare Car
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Ooh. A Canyonero roadster. Nice!
Opal: I hope you crash into a gas station.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Fingers crossed. Then I can sue you for gifting me a death trap!
Opal: D'oh!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Starlight Pt. 3
If the user has Anger Watkins starts: Anger Watkins starts starts
If the user doesn't have Anger Watkins starts: Auto starts
Anger Watkins: Is that my old friend Opal I see?
Opal: Anger Watkins! Helloooooooo! Give it up for Anger, everyone!
Anger Watkins: There’s no one here but us.
Opal: Sorry. Force of habit. What are you doing here?
Anger Watkins: I’m auditioning for the role of the karate teacher with a mysterious past.
Opal: Oh, must be a different movie.
Anger Watkins: It’s the Shirley Chisolm biopic.
Opal: I’ve gotta read that script. So, what’s new, Anger?
Anger Watkins: I just wrote an autobiography. It’s called “Untreated Anger Issues”.
Opal: Sounds wonderful!
Anger Watkins: It is, dammit! Which is why I was hoping you could put it on your Opal’s Book Club list.
Opal: Oh, well. I’d have to read it and see if it fits with…
Anger Watkins: Pish posh, girl! Hook a brother up with some sales. I’m trying to buy me a Tesla Cybertruck!
Opal: Oh Lord.
Task: Make Opal Try to Politely Decline
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Anger Watkins: Don’t you politely decline me!
Opal: Anger, honey, sports books aren’t right for my book club.
Anger Watkins: Well, make it right, or else I’ll tell my good friend Drederick Tatum not to put you in his movie.
Opal: Fine. I’ll play ball, you jerk. But If I don’t get this movie, I’m going to kill you…r career as a sports journalist. *whispers to self* Whew, saved it.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Starlight Pt. 4
If the user has Drederick Tatum: Drederick Tatum starts
If the user doesn't have Drederick Tatum: Auto starts
Drederick Tatum: Opal! My goodness. The fact that a star of your caliber would think to audition for a role is both humbling and awe-inspiring. I am inspired with awe.
Opal: I’m happy to do it, Drederick. I have been working with a method acting coach.
Boxing Drederick Tatum: A meth-head acting coach? Wow, that sounds like a challenge. Good for you. Alright, whenever you’re ready, begin.
Opal: Okay. Give me a moment to BECOME Shirley.
Task: Make Opal Give the Audition of a Lifetime
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Boxing Drederick Tatum: Goodness gracious. That was incredible. I don’t need to see anyone else audition. Tell Viola Davis to respectfully take a hike. Opal you technically knocked out the champ, metaphorically of course.
Opal: Oh, thank you Drederick. I promise I’m not going to let you down!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Starlight Pt. 5
Krusty starts
Tuxedo Krusty: The nominees for best actress in a lead role are… Scarlett Johansson in “The Imelda Marcos Story”, Viola Davis in “The Respectful Hike”, and Opal in “Chisolm’s Choice”.
Drederick Tatum: You’re a shoo-in, Opal.
Lindsey Naegle: I always believed in you, superstar. Even when I didn’t!
Anger Watkins: It’s all you girl!
Squeaky Voice Attendant: And I’m here too!
Opal: Oh, man. I hope I get this.
Tuxedo Krusty: And the winner is….
Task: Make Opal Cross Her Bejeweled Fingers
Time: 4h
Location: Krustylu Studios or Brown House
Tuxedo Krusty: Opal, in “Chisolm’s Choice"!!!
Opal: Oh my God!
Opal: There are so many people I’d like to thank. But first, let me air out the grievances I have with all the terrible people I had to deal with to get here.
Lindsey Naegle: Uh oh.
Opal: Lindsey Naegle, my agent who didn’t think I should be in movies. You’re fired!
Lindsey Naegle: And rightfully so.
Opal: The Squeaky Voice Teen, whose name escapes me at the moment, who made me give him a car. Screw you, you little twerp.
Opal: And Anger Watkins, America’s least talented loudmouth sportscaster. I promoted his terrible book so that he wouldn’t bad mouth me to Drederick.
Opal: But even the Opal bump couldn’t help sell that garbage heap of a memoir.
Anger Watkins: It’s true. My life isn’t interesting!
Opal: Whew. It feels good to vent. Now to thank everyone who actually believed in me, starting with Drederi— *cut-off by music*
Opal: D'oh!
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Nature Walk Pt. 1
Abraham Simpson I starts
Abraham Simpson I: Can I have some wheel cakes, Mommy? I’m hungry.
Mabel Simpson: You just ate half a dozen!
Abraham Simpson I: Now I can eat the other half.
Mabel Simpson: No, you’ll spoil your supper.
Abraham Simpson I: D’oh. Um, can I go swimming instead, Mommy?
Mabel Simpson: That river current is too strong for you. Just play around the house where I can see you.
Abraham Simpson I: Okay, I’m gonna go wash behind my ears, then play outside. Heh heh.
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Play Outside
Time: 1h
Location: Deep Dark Woods or Brown House
Abraham Simpson I: Being outside sucks. Hm. Sucks. I wonder if anyone’s ever used that word as an insult. Maybe I just invented it! Woo hoo!
Abraham Simpson I: *singing* Suck suck suck. Everything sucks. The trees, and the bees, and nature sucks. *Gasp* Ooh, a beautiful butterfly. I wanna smash it!
Abraham Simpson I: C’mere you! Lemme smash you and put you in a book, so I can gaze at your beauty forever!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
ature Walk Pt. 2
Abraham Simpson I starts
Abraham Simpson I: Where did you go, butterfly? Come back! I won't smash you, I’ll just starve you under a glass. Isn’t that better?
Abraham Simpson I: Uh oh, I don't recognize this part of the woods. It’s kinda scary. Maybe a witch lives here. Or a troll. Or an old man who sits around writing poetry all day! *shrieks*
Abraham Simpson I: I can hear the river, maybe I can follow it home.
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Follow the River
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Abraham Simpson I: Ugh. Following rivers takes forever. It goes so much faster than me. Just look how fast those logs in it are going. Hmm. That gives me a brilliant idea.
Abraham Simpson I: Abraham Simpson the First, you are the smartest boy in the whole world!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Nature Walk Pt. 3
Abraham Simpson I starts
Abraham Simpson I: I’ll explain my idea to myself out loud, just to make sure I got it.
Abraham Simpson I: I’ll get on top of one of these driftwood logs on the riverbank, kick it into the river, then ride that log like a horsey all the way home.
Abraham Simpson I: When I get to a place I recognize, I’ll safely stop and get off the speeding river somehow. Here I go!
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Ride That Log Like a Horse
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Abraham Simpson I: Gah! This is nothing like riding a horse! It’s scary, it smells bad, and it’s hurting my crotch!
Abraham Simpson I: I'm going too fast. Help! Help!!!
Virgil Simpson: Abraham Simpson, is that you, son?
Abraham Simpson I: Which Abraham Simpson are you looking for?
Virgil Simpson: The first!
Abraham Simpson I: Yes, it’s me, Poppa! Help! It’s an emergency!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Nature Walk Pt. 4
If the user has Virgil Simpson: Virgil Simpson starts
If the user doesn't have Virgil Simpson: Auto starts
Virgil Simpson: Son! What’re you doing on that log?
Abraham Simpson I: I was trying to ride it home. I thought it was the local, but it must be the express.
Virgil Simpson: I’m gonna throw you this rope. Grab onto it!
Abraham Simpson I: Okay. I’m gonna put all my focus on catching the r-- Ooh, there’s that butterfly!
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Catch the Rope
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Abraham Simpson I: I got it!
Virgil Simpson: I’m gonna pull you in. Do not drop the rope to grab the butterfly.
Abraham Simpson I: Okay, but now that you said it, it’s all I can think about.
Virgil Simpson: Don’t drop that dang rope, boy! If you drown today, I’m gonna give you such a spanking!
Abraham Simpson I: Yes, sir.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Nature Walk Pt. 5
If the user has Mabel Simpson: Mabel Simpson starts
If the user doesn't have Mabel Simpson: Auto starts
Mabel Simpson: Look who’s home. Where have you two been? And why is Abe all wet?
Abraham Simpson I: I was, uh, out chasing butterflies when I fell in the--
Virgil Simpson: --horse’s water trough! Clumsy little man. Just got a little wet is all. Certainly didn’t risk death, or anything.
Mabel Simpson: Alright, get ready for supper you two.
Abraham Simpson I: Wow, thanks for covering for me, Poppa. If Mommy woulda found out I was by the river, she would’ve spanked me somethin’ awful.
Virgil Simpson: I’m not gonna tell her, son. Because you’re gonna give me all your wheel cakes for a month.
Abraham Simpson I: Awwwww. Is it too late to just drown instead?
Task: Make Abraham Simpson I Wish He'd Drowned
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
