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8 years ago

First Time Packs: Premium Walkthrough

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When Life Gives You Lemons

Ned starts

Ned: Hey Homer, what do you say we scamper to my newly-repaired camper?
Ned: Sip some tea in my fixed RV!
Ned: Get behind the wheelicle of my recreational vehicle!
Homer: Dammit, Flanders! Rhymes aren't jokes!
Ned: Neither is going "Mmm" and drooling whenever you hear the name of a food.
Homer: Well played.
Homer: Oh, by the way, I might've accidentally strapped another lemon tree to your camper and crushed the roof…
Ned: What?! You made fini of Mini-Wini!
Homer: Mmm, mini-weenies. *drools*

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That's a Lot Pt. 1

Auto starts

Marge: Get dressed, Homie, we're having a date night!
Homer: I don't know, our last “date night” was just a trick to get me to that AA meeting…
Marge: The Car Impound Lot is re-opening as a nightclub. It's called The 'Pound! With an apostrophe even! Now THAT'S hip!
Squeaky Voice Teen: Welcome to The 'Pound, may I valet your car?

Task: Make Springfielders Attend the Grand Opening
Time: 8h
Location: Car Impound Lot

That's a Lot Pt. 2

Auto starts

Marge: What a cool nightclub. You could tell it was fancy because the bathroom attendants acted REALLY entitled to a tip.
Homer: Can you pull around the pink sedan, my good man?
Squeaky Voice Teen: Sure. That'll be $250.
Homer: $250?! How is that possible?
Squeaky Voice Teen: It's still a Car Impound Lot too.

Task: Make Homer Look Under the Car Seats for Loose
Time: 4h
Location: Car Impound Lot

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The Manhattan Project Pt. 1

Shelbyville Manhattan starts

Shelbyville Manhattan: Good lord, where am I? And what is this ugly city?
Homer: You're in Springfield, Mister... uh...
Shelbyville Manhattan: Manhattan. Shelbyville Manhattan.
Homer: *gasp* I know you! You're the guy who invented Manhattan Clam Chowder!
Lisa: No, Dad, he's the man who founded Shelbyville.
Homer: Oh. Is Shelbyville Clam Chowder the creamy kind or the red kind?
Shelbyville Manhattan: Speaking of red and creamy, I could go for a little female companionship.
Shelbyville Manhattan: Are any of my attractive cousins around?
Lisa: Eew.
Homer: Now now, Lisa. Who are we to judge the racist and sexist ways of the past.
Lisa: Fine. I'll take you to see your cousins. But first you have to let me interview you for the school newspaper.
Shelbyville Manhattan: Fine. What's the subject of your article -- American heroes?
Lisa: No -- a recently discovered caveman.

Task: Make Lisa Interview Shelbyville for the Paper
Time: 8h
Location: Simpson House
Requires: Shelbyville Manhattan
Task: Make Lisa Take Shelbyville to See His Cousins
Time: 12h
Location: Springfield Cemetery or Brown House
Requires: Shelbyville Manhattan

Shelbyville Manhattan: You tricked me! You took me to a cemetery to see my cousins' GRAVES!
Lisa: And yet you still tried to kiss them.

The Manhattan Project Pt. 2

Shelbyville Manhattan starts

Shelbyville Manhattan: I've got to find a suitable bride...
Shelbyville Manhattan: You there! Where did you find that girl you're always kissing who's also always kissing everyone else?
Squeaky Voice Teen: What?! Shauna's cheating on me?
Shauna: We met in high school.
Shelbyville Manhattan: “High school?” Very well, to "high school" I go!
Wiggum: Hold it right there! You're not setting foot in that school, creep! Can't you read the sign? “No Trespassing”.
Shelbyville Manhattan: No I cannot!
Wiggum: There is nothing sadder than adult illiteracy. We've got to do the responsible thing: get this deviant adult into that school!

Task: Reach Level 12 and Build the Springfield Library
Task: Make Shelbyville Manhattan Go to High School to Become Literate
Time: 24h
Location: Springfield High School or Springfield Library

Shelbyville Manhattan: The best part of learning about indoor plumbing is giving swirlies to freshmen.

The Manhattan Project Pt. 3

Shelbyville Manhattan starts

Lisa: If you're going to live here, you'll need to get with the times. No modern woman would go for such a brute.
Shelbyville Manhattan: What difference does her opinion make? I'll just club her over the head and force her to marry me.
Lisa: Okay, even back in your time, I'm pretty sure that wasn't acceptable.
Lisa: We're going to the library so you can read up on contemporary culture.
Shelbyville Manhattan: How am I supposed to do that? I don't know how to read.
Comic Book Guy: Um, hello? Don't you know there's a whole genre of movies of guys being frozen and then thawed out in the future?
Lisa: What's your point?
Comic Book Guy: My point is that these movies always contain a montage of the character catching up on all the stuff they missed.

Task: Reach Level 13 and Build Android's Dungeon
Task: Make Shelbyville Watch Guy-Frozen-And-Thawed-Out-In-The-Future Movies
Time: 24h
Location: Android's Dungeon

Shelbyville Manhattan: I'm completely caught up on modern life. The only thing I didn't understand was the appeal of Pauly Shore…

The Manhattan Project Pt. 4

Shelbyville Manhattan starts

Shelbyville Manhattan: Now that I'm a modern man, I can start dating, but the idea of dating an unrelated person disgusts me. I hope I've made that abundantly clear.
Shelbyville Manhattan: If only there was a surefire way to find out if someone was related to me.
Professor Frink: Actually, there is. It's called DNA testing.
Professor Frink: All you have to do is get people to let you swab the inside of their cheek, and I can test their DNA in my laborator -- BLURGHGH!
Professor Frink: Get your finger out of my mouth! You're supposed to use a COTTON SWAB to take the sample!
Shelbyville Manhattan: Hey, you're the scientist. I'm just a guy who likes putting my finger in other people's mouths.

Task: Make Shelbyville Manhattan Swab Mouths for DNA Samples
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall or Brown House
Task: Make Springfielders Get Swabbed
Time: 1h
Location: Town Hall or Brown House

Professor Frink: The results are in: I'm sorry, but you have NO LIVING RELATIVES.
Shelbyville Manhattan: Nooo!
Professor Frink: Also, you tested positive for Male Pattern Baldness.
Shelbyville Manhattan: NOOOOO!

The Manhattan Project Pt. 5

Shelbyville Manhattan starts

Shelbyville Manhattan: Well, the dream is over. I'll just have to settle for a non-cousin “normy”.
Miss Hoover: I'm sorry, I don't mean to eavesdrop, but did you just say you were thinking of settling?
Miss Hoover: You know, I sort of have a thing for guys who are out of other options. The name's Miss Hoover.
Shelbyville Manhattan: *sigh* If only your last name was Manhattan, I'd be all up in that.
Shelbyville Manhattan: Wait a minute! Your name isn't Manhattan, but what if MINE was Hoover! Do you have any uncles?
Miss Hoover: Yes, why?

Task: Make Shelbyville Get Adopted by Miss Hoover's Uncle So They Are Cousins
Time: 8h
Location: Town Hall or Brown House

Shelbyville Manhattan: Well, it surely was a long road to get here, but I've never felt more in love!
Miss Hoover: I love you too, Shelby, but do you have to bring your gun to bed?
Shelbyville Manhattan: Stop trying to control me and my gun! I think we should see other people.

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Small World Problems Pt. 1

Auto starts

Jebediah Springfield: Hm. I don't know where I am but it sure smells familiar.
Martin: Wow! What an honor to meet our fair city's namesake!
Jebediah Springfield: Ah, so this is my beloved Springfield! So much has changed, yet so much is the same. I see the Wagon Wheel Fire is still going.
Homer: Oh, it's actually a Tire Fire now. That's what gives the sunset such a beautiful glow and why we're all lightheaded all the time.
Jebediah Springfield: Wow, rubber tires?! Such advances you've made! Well, thanks for keeping the place in order. I suppose I'll take my rightful place as mayor now.
Quimby: Er, uh, hold on a second there, hoss. We already have a mayor, and I was elected by the citizens of this town… some of them still living.
Jebediah Springfield: Then… what am I to do? Surely you won't turn me out onto the street! That'd be like abandoning a soldier after he returns from war!
Quimby: ...

Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Sleep Behind the Kwik-E-Mart
Time: 12h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart

Small World Problems Pt. 2

Auto starts

Jebediah Springfield: Is this my life now? That of a destitute beggar?
Jebediah Springfield: I wish I'd never been born and founded this town and named it after myself!
Martin: It pains my ears to hear an idol of mine speak with such glower. Especially one who is known for his silver tongue!
Jebediah Springfield: You're right, chubby little boy! That tongue will be my salvation.
Martin: How heroic! You'll win your fortune using only your skills of oration!
Jebediah Springfield: No, I meant it literally.

Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Sell His Silver Tongue
Time: 1h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart

Jebediah Springfield: This new rubber tongue made out of recycled Tire Fire tires is actually a lot better than that old silver one.
Jebediah Springfield: I don't lisp anymore when I say phrases like “The silver in my old tongue was slowly poisoning me.”

Small World Problems Pt. 3

Auto starts

Jebediah Springfield: Now that I've got some walking around money, I think I'll do some walking around.
Jebediah Springfield: Springfield Tire Fire… Springfield Retirement Castle… Springfield Box Factory… Springfield Spring & Field… my name's all over this town.
Martin: Now you know the pride our citizenry feels each and every day!
Jebediah Springfield: I don't feel pride -- I feel ripped off! They're using my name and likeness on every sign!
Jebediah Springfield: I'm going to use my precious tongue money to hire a lawyer and sue this craphole town. It's my name and I want a taste of the action!

Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Sue Springfield for Copyright Infringement
Time: 12h
Location: Court House, Town Hall or Brown House

Blue Haired Lawyer: I've never seen a client purposely be held in contempt of court so he had a place to sleep at night, but you won the case!
Blue Haired Lawyer: You now get royalties whenever your name or image is used.

Small World Problems Pt. 4

Auto starts

Jebediah Springfield: Now to collect what's coming to me.
Martin: Will you be reinvesting your money in the community?
Jebediah Springfield: Ha! Don't make me laugh!
Jebediah Springfield: Seriously, don't make me laugh. I'm 250 years old and my lungs are very brittle. I shouldn't even be walking right now.

Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Collect His Likeness Royalties
Time: 8h
Location: Town Hall or Brown House

Jebediah Springfield: What the?! I OWE people money!
Jebediah Springfield: The Springfield Police Department is in the red, Springfield Elementary has debts all over town...
Jebediah Springfield: And the Springfield Shopper Building is just made of stacked up old newspapers!
Jebediah Springfield: Curse the name Springfield! I should've stuck with the name Hans Sprungfeld!

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We Meet At Last

George Washington starts

George Washington: Well, if it isn't my lifelong nemesis, old What's-His-Face.
Jebediah Springfield: You know my name, George! It's Jebediah Springfield. Perhaps you noticed this city is named after me.
George Washington: Pff, a “city.” I've got a whole STATE named after me. And some universities, the capital, Denzel…
Jebediah Springfield: I doubt they'd be so eager to name things after you if they knew your deep dark secret…
Jebediah Springfield: That it wasn't YOU who chopped down your fabled cherry tree -- it was ME!
George Washington: But I was covering for you, you jerk!
Jebediah Springfield: And then you lied about not being able to tell a lie -- that's twice as bad!
George Washington: Curse you, Jebediah! The next thing I chop down will be you!

Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Hide From George Washington
Time: 10h
Location: Brown House

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Statue of Liberties

Auto starts

Shelbyville Manhattan: Look at this magnificent statue of me. Such attention to detail.
Marge: They really captured your pioneering spirit!
Shelbyville Manhattan: Yes, not to mention my pervy smile and leering eyes.
Shelbyville Manhattan: And every last curve of my beautiful, voluptuous cousins.
Marge: I'm sorry, did you say “cousins”?
Shelbyville Manhattan: Yes. My relatives, kin, almost-sisters. You know, the people you marry.
Marge: I'm sorry, Mr. Manhattan, but these days that sort of behavior is looked down upon. And is illegal.
Cletus: Don't worry, feller, not everyone in this town is against your ideas. My family welcomes ya with open arms!
Shelbyville Manhattan: That's exactly how I used to welcome my cousins!

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Act of Aggression

After completing The Manhattan Project Pt. 5 and Small World Problems Pt. 4
Shelbyville Manhattan starts

Shelbyville Manhattan: Jeb…
Jebediah Springfield: Shelby…
Shelbyville Manhattan: So… are we… ghosts?
Jebediah Springfield: I don't rightly know. Perhaps this is heaven?
Shelbyville Manhattan: Pfff! Heaven?! That is a hearty laugh, sir! This place is a dung heap!
Jebediah Springfield: It's not that bad!
Shelbyville Manhattan: Says the guy it's named after.
Shelbyville Manhattan: I'll give you purgatory MAYBE, but heaven? I don't think so. This is hell.
Jebediah Springfield: I'll send you to hell!

Task: Make Jebediah Springfield Quarrel
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Requires: Shelbyville Manhattan

Shelbyville Manhattan: I'm too old to quarrel.
Jebediah Springfield: You're right, this is hell…

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It's What You Do With It

After completing Act of Aggression
Auto starts

Jebediah Springfield: Must we always quarrel?
Shelbyville Manhattan: No we mustn't! Now put up your fists!
Jebediah Springfield: I thought we buried the hatchet those many years ago.
Shelbyville Manhattan: Yes, where did we bury that hatchet. I would love to kill you with it.

Task: Make the Founders Search for Their Buried Hatchet
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House

Shelbyville Manhattan: We should have marked where we buried it.
Jebediah Springfield: I guess we'll just have to find a different hatchet, bury that, and agree to be friends.
Shelbyville Manhattan: Deal.