Springfield Choppers: Walkthrough
There Goes My Heroes
Auto starts
Bart: The bucket is in position. When Skinner opens that door, he'll be covered in shrimp.
Milhouse: Abort! Abort! The bullies are in his office and they're walking out first!
Jimbo: *bucket drops* What the SHRIMPPP?!
Kearney: I'm allergic!
Nelson: Craw-Craw! Your bald head is swelling up!
Skinner: Crevette in a net…this prank has Bart Simpson's name all over it.
Dolph: Quick! Steal those nerds' bikes!
Database: Our bicycles!
Bart: Oh man, I can't out-skate bullies on bikes!
Jimbo: There he is on his skateboard!
Kearney: You're going to pay for this, Simpson!
Bart: I'll just duck into this sketchy dive bar and hide.
Bart: *enters* AHHH! REAL BIKERS!
Meathook: Well, lookie here. Seems like we got some fresh meat, fellas.
Ramrod: What do you think, Meathook? Should we show this kid our idea of "hospitality"?
Bart: Why did you air-quote hospitality? Are you gonna kill me and send my body to the hospital?!
Spiro: Kill you? No, no! We don't kill people anymore. We're the Spiro's Heroes. I'm Spiro. This here is Meathook, that's Ramrod, and back at the pool table there is Porkchop.
Homer: Mmmmm…porkchops...
Bart: Homer? What are you doing here?
Homer: Moe's got shut down again. Something to do with not having a liquor license for thirty years. Anyway, don't mind me — carry on.
Spiro: Look kid, we need young recruits like you, so do you want to join our gang or what?
Bart: *gasp* You'd let me join your badass biker gang?
Ramrod: You still gotta go through the initiation, but we'll let you skip the written test.
Homer: Unfair! You made me take the written test!
Meathook: And you got a 0 out of 100…and it was multiple choice…
Homer: *annoyed grunt*
Task: Make Bart Get Initiated
Time: 6s
Location: Kwik-E-Mart or Homes
If the user has Meathook: Task: Make Meathook Sew the Patch on Bart's Gang Jacket
Time: 6s
Location: Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
If the user has Ramrod: Task: Make Ramrod Prepare Bart a Virgin Daiquiri
Time: 6s
Location: Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
Bart: Okay, all done.
Apu: Thank you, Bart, for cleaning the graffiti off of the Kwik-E-Mart.
Spiro: Initiation complete. Welcome to the Spiro's Heroes.
Bart: How is cleaning graffiti off a wall an initiation? I thought you guys were hardcore bikers.
Spiro: Oh, we're hardcore alright. Hardcore about making a difference!
Meathook: Yeah, we used to just ride our hogs around and chain-whip people for fun. Now we ride our hogs around and chain-whip our community into shape.
Bart: Oh, that's too bad… I thought if I joined the gang, then you guys would help me terrorize the bullies.
Meathook: Hmm…if we help you, can we chain-whip them?
Bart: I was thinking more like some mild intimidating with a couple of pranks sprinkled in.
Meathook: It's a deal! Let's wreak havoc on those bullies!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 1
Auto starts
Nelson: There he is! Bart's walking into that dive bar!
Kearney: I've been waiting all afternoon for this. Excuse me, is your toilet bowl regulation size?
Jimbo: Yeah, we want to make sure the opening will fit the head of an average boy.
Ramrod: Bart, I assume these are the bullies we're about to give a world of pain.
Kearney: Whoa, Bart, you're friends with these biker dudes?!
Meathook: Oh no, he's not our friend — he's part of our gang.
Kearney: You're in a biker gang now?! This changes everything. Sidebar!
Nelson: Sidebar!
Kearney: Guys, now that Bart is a real gang member, we should recruit him to join our band of bullies.
Nelson: So we can't give him a swirly?
Kearney: Not today. Having a real gang member join us would lend some much-needed legitimacy to our operation, and potentially cut down on attacks by the older scary high school bullies.
Jimbo: I hate those guys!
Dolph: So we all agree…sidebar over!
Nelson: Sidebar over!
Kearney: Bart, we have a proposal: join our bully gang and we'll make you Springfield Elementary royalty.
Jimbo: Instead of you being a swirlee, you'll get to be the swirler.
Kearney: We'll even hunt down Milhouse if you want him to be your first victim.
Bart: Hmm, this is all very intriguing. Do you guys have a cool hangout like Spiro's?
Nelson: Prepare to have your mind blown. Follow me to the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard.
Meathook: Man, new recruits are so unreliable. The moment you initiate 'em, every gang in town tries to poach 'em.
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Bart Go See the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
If the user has Nelson: Task: Make Nelson Show Bart the Empty Swimming Pool
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
If the user has Jimbo: Task: Make Jimbo Carve Bart's Name in the Diving Board
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
If the user has Dolph: Task: Make Dolph Clean the Necklace of Unknown Retainers
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
If the user has Kearney: Task: Make Kearney Pick Up His Kid From School
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
Jimbo: Welcome to the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard.
Nelson: Our old hangout was under the football bleachers, but it got turned into a mass vaccination site.
Bart: I dig the archway built out of beach cruisers. Nice touch.
Nelson: So…? Will you become a bully?
Bart: I think I'm gonna stick with Spiro's Heroes.
Dolph: Come on! What does Spiro's have that the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard doesn't?
Bart: Well, for one: they have a roof, WiFi, and soda direct from the tap...
Kearney: We can't compete with solid WiFi!
Bart: Look, we can still form a partnership. How about we have a truce? You guys promise to leave me alone, and as a member of Spiro's Heroes I can guarantee your protection.
Dolph: Sidebar!
Nelson: I think this is a good deal for us. That biker gang can help us scare off the older bullies when they try to mess with us.
Jimbo: Agreed.
Bart: Agreed.
Dolph: Sidebar over!
Nelson: Alright, Bart. We agree to your terms.
Bart: Spitshake?
Nelson: *spits in his hand* Pleasure doing business.
Bart: Do you have any hand sanitizer by chance? Can't be too careful these days.
Nelson: I want to punch you so bad right now...but I can't.
Bart: See? The partnership's already working.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 2
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Homer: Marge, do we have to go to Kirk and Luann's game night?
Kirk: Homer, you're already here. And we're about to start playing Occupiers of Anatolia!
Homer: Ugh, sounds complicated.
Kirk: Okay everyone, flip your occupier cards to see who goes first!
Marge: Wait, before we start, one quick question: can I build unlimited aqueducts or only one at a time?
Kirk: As many as you want.
Bernice Hibbert: What if I want to trade my occupier card when it's not my turn?
Kirk: You just wait until it is your turn.
Dr. Hibbert: If I roll a double-three, do I get sent to the cistern or do I send someone else to the cistern?
Kirk: Depends if you have two or more barley bundles.
Homer: Ugh, this board game hasn't even started and it already sucks! I wish I could be doing fun biker gang stuff like Bart.
Marge: What biker gang stuff?
Homer: Bart joined a biker gang. You know, the one over at Spiro's Bar.
Marge: WHAAAT?!
Kirk: Oh yeah, those Spiro's Heroes don't mess around. One time I accidentally grabbed Ramrod's latte at a coffee shop and he chain-whipped my laptop in half.
Homer: Man, I wish I had a motorcycle so I could be in a cool gang…
Homer: Wait a second, I do have a motorcycle! And it's a vintage 1955 Harley-Davidson! I won it at a '50s dance competition at a diner!
Marge: Oh, I remember that now…that must have been at least 20 seasons ago.
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Homer Gas Up the Hog
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Homes
Task: Make Marge Demand Homer Wear His Helmet
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Homes
Task: Make Lisa Remind Homer How the Throttle Works
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Homes
Marge: Homer, I really think this is a bad idea. Don't you remember what happened the last time you got on a motorcycle?
Homer: No.
Marge: That's because of what happened the last time you got on a motorcycle!
Homer: But don't you remember my bucket list? Number one: eat a bucket of fried chicken. Number two: eat another bucket of fried chicken!
Marge: And number three…
Homer: Eat a bucket of fried chicken as a member of a biker gang!
Marge: But Homer—
Homer: Hold on Marge. *dials* Can I order three buckets of fried chicken for delivery? Yes, of course I want all the sides!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 3
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Spiro: We're glad you decided to stick with Spiro's Heroes, Bart. With you on board, we can really make a difference in this town.
Bart: Okay, but we're also gonna be doing badass biker gang stuff, right? I mean, there has to be a nearby music festival we can ride through and terrorize.
Meathook: Look Bart, we know you're not old enough to ride a hog, so instead we got you a Spiro's Heroes leather jacket and an electric bike.
Bart: Whoa, the license plate says "El Barto".
Spiro: It sure does.
Wilbur Nurple: So this is the inner circle of Spiro's Heroes, huh? The gang that thinks they can operate on our turf?
Bart: Uh oh. I know this guy. He's one of the most notorious gang members in greater Springfield. One time he chased the bullies and me all over town.
Ramrod: I thought you ran FROM the bullies, not WITH them.
Bart: I've lived many lives, Ramrod. Many lives.
Wilbur Nurple: Your friend Bart is right. I'm the leader of The Purple Nurples gang.
Bart: You do realize that Spiro's Heroes is a gang that does good? So…we don't really have beef with you.
Wilbur Nurple: We Purple Nurples are the same way. We defend those who receive purple nurples.
Wilbur Nurple: Unfortunately, that was a little too long to fit on the back of our jackets, so we had to shorten it.
Meathook: This town only has room for one group of defenders against wet willies, swirlies, and purple nurples!
Ramrod: Gang fight!
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Bart Defend Turf With His Slingshot
Time: 4h
Location: Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
If the user has Wilbur Nurple: Task: Make Wilbur Nurple Call for Purple Nurple Backup
Time: 4h
Location: Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
If the user has Meathook: Task: Make Meathook Give Wilbur Nurple a Purple Nurple
Time: 4h
Location: Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
If the user has Ramrod: Task: Make Ramrod Watch the Flank
Time: 4h
Location: Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
Spiro: That's enough! Can't we all just come together and work out our issues in a more civilized fashion?
Wilbur Nurple: You're right. Let's settle this not like the gang members we are, but like the gang members we aspire to be.
Spiro: Then there's only one way to resolve this conflict: The Ball of Death.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 4
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Spiro: The only thing you have to know about the Ball of Death is this: two men enter, and only one man doesn't die.
Homer: Did someone say "man"?!
Bart: Dad, what are you doing here? We're kinda in the middle of a turf war.
Homer: I'm here to join the Spiro's Heroes. I know I didn't pass the written test, but I found my old motorcycle, so they've got to let me in now.
Meathook: Just because you have a bike doesn't make you one of us.
Spiro: Now, who is representing the Purple Nurples in the Ball of Death?
Wilbur Nurple: I will represent The Purple Nurples. And who is your champion?
Meathook: Well, I would do it, but my arthritic knee's been acting up.
Ramrod: Uh, I don't want to take all the glory, ya know after all the glory I've taken recently with other stuff. So I'll let somebody else take this round of Ball of Death.
Spiro: Porkchop, you in? Really? You won't even do it?
Homer: Bart, what is this Ball of Death I keep hearing about? It's not dangerous, is it?
Bart: Dad, no. You don't want to—
Homer: Everyone! As my initiation into the gang, I offer myself as your champion!
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Homer Defy Death in the Ball of Death
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
If the user has Wilbur Nurple: Task: Make Wilbur Nurple Defy Death in the Ball of Death
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
Task: Make Bart Reluctantly Cheer On Homer
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 5
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Bart: Homer! Don't forget to accelerate when you get to the top of the Ball of Death!
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. How hard can it be? *accelerates*
Wilbur Nurple: First one who doesn't die wins. *accelerates*
Homer: Ow!
Homer: No-no-no-no-no!
Homer: Ahhhh!
Homer: I think I'm really getting the hang of this!
Homer: D'oh!
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Homer Eat it Hard
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
If the user has Wilbur Nurple: Task: Make Wilbur Nurple Prevail
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
Homer: Am I the champion?
Bart: Yeah. You're the champion, Dad.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Bart: No, I was being sarcastic…you lost and you're seriously injured.
Homer: Oh... Yup. I'm starting to feel things...painful things. *moans*
Wilbur Nurple: Now that I've won, I better not see any Spiro's Heroes around these parts cleaning up graffiti or protecting nerds from bullies.
Spiro: With our turf gone, how are we going to make a difference in our community?
Meathook: We could just go back to being badass bikers whose sole purpose is boozing, roughhousing, and more boozing.
Ramrod: Yeah, why'd we ever give that up?
Meathook: Let's ride through Springfield and rough up all who get in our way!
Comic Book Guy: No! Don't chain-whip my comics! You just destroyed an original Cyberella!
Comic Book Guy: This is just like when the necronauts overran the city and Cyberella had to rally the citizens against them!
Moe: No! You're defiling my love-tester machine! How am I supposed to test my love now?!
Apu: Oh, hey Meathook. Are you here to help remove some new graffiti on my wall?
Apu: What are you doing? You've chain-whipped all of aisles one, two, and three! And I only have three aisles!
Homer: Ah man, right when I get seriously injured, they start doing all the fun biker gang stuff…
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Where the Blubber Meets the Road
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Homer: Marge, when they take this full body cast off of me, we're hitting the road on my hog and never looking back.
Marge: Absolutely not. You're never driving a motorcycle ever again!
Homer: Who said I'd be the one driving?!
Marge: *annoyed grumble*
Homer: Well, Bart, one day that beautiful hog will be passed down to you just as my grandfather gave it to my father, and my father gave it to me.
Bart: I thought you won the motorcycle in a dance contest at Greaser's Café?
Homer: I did. I sure did…
Bart: Is something wrong with his brain?
Dr. Hibbert: Not any more than usual. *chuckles*
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Auto starts
Bart: The bucket is in position. When Skinner opens that door, he'll be covered in shrimp.
Milhouse: Abort! Abort! The bullies are in his office and they're walking out first!
Jimbo: *bucket drops* What the SHRIMPPP?!
Kearney: I'm allergic!
Nelson: Craw-Craw! Your bald head is swelling up!
Skinner: Crevette in a net…this prank has Bart Simpson's name all over it.
Dolph: Quick! Steal those nerds' bikes!
Database: Our bicycles!
Bart: Oh man, I can't out-skate bullies on bikes!
Jimbo: There he is on his skateboard!
Kearney: You're going to pay for this, Simpson!
Bart: I'll just duck into this sketchy dive bar and hide.
Bart: *enters* AHHH! REAL BIKERS!
Meathook: Well, lookie here. Seems like we got some fresh meat, fellas.
Ramrod: What do you think, Meathook? Should we show this kid our idea of "hospitality"?
Bart: Why did you air-quote hospitality? Are you gonna kill me and send my body to the hospital?!
Spiro: Kill you? No, no! We don't kill people anymore. We're the Spiro's Heroes. I'm Spiro. This here is Meathook, that's Ramrod, and back at the pool table there is Porkchop.
Homer: Mmmmm…porkchops...
Bart: Homer? What are you doing here?
Homer: Moe's got shut down again. Something to do with not having a liquor license for thirty years. Anyway, don't mind me — carry on.
Spiro: Look kid, we need young recruits like you, so do you want to join our gang or what?
Bart: *gasp* You'd let me join your badass biker gang?
Ramrod: You still gotta go through the initiation, but we'll let you skip the written test.
Homer: Unfair! You made me take the written test!
Meathook: And you got a 0 out of 100…and it was multiple choice…
Homer: *annoyed grunt*
Task: Make Bart Get Initiated
Time: 6s
Location: Kwik-E-Mart or Homes
If the user has Meathook: Task: Make Meathook Sew the Patch on Bart's Gang Jacket
Time: 6s
Location: Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
If the user has Ramrod: Task: Make Ramrod Prepare Bart a Virgin Daiquiri
Time: 6s
Location: Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
Bart: Okay, all done.
Apu: Thank you, Bart, for cleaning the graffiti off of the Kwik-E-Mart.
Spiro: Initiation complete. Welcome to the Spiro's Heroes.
Bart: How is cleaning graffiti off a wall an initiation? I thought you guys were hardcore bikers.
Spiro: Oh, we're hardcore alright. Hardcore about making a difference!
Meathook: Yeah, we used to just ride our hogs around and chain-whip people for fun. Now we ride our hogs around and chain-whip our community into shape.
Bart: Oh, that's too bad… I thought if I joined the gang, then you guys would help me terrorize the bullies.
Meathook: Hmm…if we help you, can we chain-whip them?
Bart: I was thinking more like some mild intimidating with a couple of pranks sprinkled in.
Meathook: It's a deal! Let's wreak havoc on those bullies!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 1
Auto starts
Nelson: There he is! Bart's walking into that dive bar!
Kearney: I've been waiting all afternoon for this. Excuse me, is your toilet bowl regulation size?
Jimbo: Yeah, we want to make sure the opening will fit the head of an average boy.
Ramrod: Bart, I assume these are the bullies we're about to give a world of pain.
Kearney: Whoa, Bart, you're friends with these biker dudes?!
Meathook: Oh no, he's not our friend — he's part of our gang.
Kearney: You're in a biker gang now?! This changes everything. Sidebar!
Nelson: Sidebar!
Kearney: Guys, now that Bart is a real gang member, we should recruit him to join our band of bullies.
Nelson: So we can't give him a swirly?
Kearney: Not today. Having a real gang member join us would lend some much-needed legitimacy to our operation, and potentially cut down on attacks by the older scary high school bullies.
Jimbo: I hate those guys!
Dolph: So we all agree…sidebar over!
Nelson: Sidebar over!
Kearney: Bart, we have a proposal: join our bully gang and we'll make you Springfield Elementary royalty.
Jimbo: Instead of you being a swirlee, you'll get to be the swirler.
Kearney: We'll even hunt down Milhouse if you want him to be your first victim.
Bart: Hmm, this is all very intriguing. Do you guys have a cool hangout like Spiro's?
Nelson: Prepare to have your mind blown. Follow me to the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard.
Meathook: Man, new recruits are so unreliable. The moment you initiate 'em, every gang in town tries to poach 'em.
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Bart Go See the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
If the user has Nelson: Task: Make Nelson Show Bart the Empty Swimming Pool
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
If the user has Jimbo: Task: Make Jimbo Carve Bart's Name in the Diving Board
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
If the user has Dolph: Task: Make Dolph Clean the Necklace of Unknown Retainers
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
If the user has Kearney: Task: Make Kearney Pick Up His Kid From School
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Cemetery, Fogbury Cemetery, Frontier Cemetery, Pet Cemetery, Cemetery Plot, Muntz House or Homes
Jimbo: Welcome to the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard.
Nelson: Our old hangout was under the football bleachers, but it got turned into a mass vaccination site.
Bart: I dig the archway built out of beach cruisers. Nice touch.
Nelson: So…? Will you become a bully?
Bart: I think I'm gonna stick with Spiro's Heroes.
Dolph: Come on! What does Spiro's have that the Stolen Bicycle Graveyard doesn't?
Bart: Well, for one: they have a roof, WiFi, and soda direct from the tap...
Kearney: We can't compete with solid WiFi!
Bart: Look, we can still form a partnership. How about we have a truce? You guys promise to leave me alone, and as a member of Spiro's Heroes I can guarantee your protection.
Dolph: Sidebar!
Nelson: I think this is a good deal for us. That biker gang can help us scare off the older bullies when they try to mess with us.
Jimbo: Agreed.
Bart: Agreed.
Dolph: Sidebar over!
Nelson: Alright, Bart. We agree to your terms.
Bart: Spitshake?
Nelson: *spits in his hand* Pleasure doing business.
Bart: Do you have any hand sanitizer by chance? Can't be too careful these days.
Nelson: I want to punch you so bad right now...but I can't.
Bart: See? The partnership's already working.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 2
Auto starts
Homer: Marge, do we have to go to Kirk and Luann's game night?
Kirk: Homer, you're already here. And we're about to start playing Occupiers of Anatolia!
Homer: Ugh, sounds complicated.
Kirk: Okay everyone, flip your occupier cards to see who goes first!
Marge: Wait, before we start, one quick question: can I build unlimited aqueducts or only one at a time?
Kirk: As many as you want.
Bernice Hibbert: What if I want to trade my occupier card when it's not my turn?
Kirk: You just wait until it is your turn.
Dr. Hibbert: If I roll a double-three, do I get sent to the cistern or do I send someone else to the cistern?
Kirk: Depends if you have two or more barley bundles.
Homer: Ugh, this board game hasn't even started and it already sucks! I wish I could be doing fun biker gang stuff like Bart.
Marge: What biker gang stuff?
Homer: Bart joined a biker gang. You know, the one over at Spiro's Bar.
Marge: WHAAAT?!
Kirk: Oh yeah, those Spiro's Heroes don't mess around. One time I accidentally grabbed Ramrod's latte at a coffee shop and he chain-whipped my laptop in half.
Homer: Man, I wish I had a motorcycle so I could be in a cool gang…
Homer: Wait a second, I do have a motorcycle! And it's a vintage 1955 Harley-Davidson! I won it at a '50s dance competition at a diner!
Marge: Oh, I remember that now…that must have been at least 20 seasons ago.
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Homer Gas Up the Hog
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Homes
Task: Make Marge Demand Homer Wear His Helmet
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Homes
Task: Make Lisa Remind Homer How the Throttle Works
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Homes
Marge: Homer, I really think this is a bad idea. Don't you remember what happened the last time you got on a motorcycle?
Homer: No.
Marge: That's because of what happened the last time you got on a motorcycle!
Homer: But don't you remember my bucket list? Number one: eat a bucket of fried chicken. Number two: eat another bucket of fried chicken!
Marge: And number three…
Homer: Eat a bucket of fried chicken as a member of a biker gang!
Marge: But Homer—
Homer: Hold on Marge. *dials* Can I order three buckets of fried chicken for delivery? Yes, of course I want all the sides!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 3
Auto starts
Spiro: We're glad you decided to stick with Spiro's Heroes, Bart. With you on board, we can really make a difference in this town.
Bart: Okay, but we're also gonna be doing badass biker gang stuff, right? I mean, there has to be a nearby music festival we can ride through and terrorize.
Meathook: Look Bart, we know you're not old enough to ride a hog, so instead we got you a Spiro's Heroes leather jacket and an electric bike.
Bart: Whoa, the license plate says "El Barto".
Spiro: It sure does.
Wilbur Nurple: So this is the inner circle of Spiro's Heroes, huh? The gang that thinks they can operate on our turf?
Bart: Uh oh. I know this guy. He's one of the most notorious gang members in greater Springfield. One time he chased the bullies and me all over town.
Ramrod: I thought you ran FROM the bullies, not WITH them.
Bart: I've lived many lives, Ramrod. Many lives.
Wilbur Nurple: Your friend Bart is right. I'm the leader of The Purple Nurples gang.
Bart: You do realize that Spiro's Heroes is a gang that does good? So…we don't really have beef with you.
Wilbur Nurple: We Purple Nurples are the same way. We defend those who receive purple nurples.
Wilbur Nurple: Unfortunately, that was a little too long to fit on the back of our jackets, so we had to shorten it.
Meathook: This town only has room for one group of defenders against wet willies, swirlies, and purple nurples!
Ramrod: Gang fight!
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Bart Defend Turf With His Slingshot
Time: 4h
Location: Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
If the user has Wilbur Nurple: Task: Make Wilbur Nurple Call for Purple Nurple Backup
Time: 4h
Location: Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
If the user has Meathook: Task: Make Meathook Give Wilbur Nurple a Purple Nurple
Time: 4h
Location: Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
If the user has Ramrod: Task: Make Ramrod Watch the Flank
Time: 4h
Location: Spiro's, Poppa Wheelie's, Barra, Beer -N- Brawl, Darby O'Guzzlin's, Moe's Tavern or Homes
Spiro: That's enough! Can't we all just come together and work out our issues in a more civilized fashion?
Wilbur Nurple: You're right. Let's settle this not like the gang members we are, but like the gang members we aspire to be.
Spiro: Then there's only one way to resolve this conflict: The Ball of Death.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 4
Auto starts
Spiro: The only thing you have to know about the Ball of Death is this: two men enter, and only one man doesn't die.
Homer: Did someone say "man"?!
Bart: Dad, what are you doing here? We're kinda in the middle of a turf war.
Homer: I'm here to join the Spiro's Heroes. I know I didn't pass the written test, but I found my old motorcycle, so they've got to let me in now.
Meathook: Just because you have a bike doesn't make you one of us.
Spiro: Now, who is representing the Purple Nurples in the Ball of Death?
Wilbur Nurple: I will represent The Purple Nurples. And who is your champion?
Meathook: Well, I would do it, but my arthritic knee's been acting up.
Ramrod: Uh, I don't want to take all the glory, ya know after all the glory I've taken recently with other stuff. So I'll let somebody else take this round of Ball of Death.
Spiro: Porkchop, you in? Really? You won't even do it?
Homer: Bart, what is this Ball of Death I keep hearing about? It's not dangerous, is it?
Bart: Dad, no. You don't want to—
Homer: Everyone! As my initiation into the gang, I offer myself as your champion!
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Homer Defy Death in the Ball of Death
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
If the user has Wilbur Nurple: Task: Make Wilbur Nurple Defy Death in the Ball of Death
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
Task: Make Bart Reluctantly Cheer On Homer
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Springfield Turf Wars Pt. 5
Auto starts
Bart: Homer! Don't forget to accelerate when you get to the top of the Ball of Death!
Homer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. How hard can it be? *accelerates*
Wilbur Nurple: First one who doesn't die wins. *accelerates*
Homer: Ow!
Homer: No-no-no-no-no!
Homer: Ahhhh!
Homer: I think I'm really getting the hang of this!
Homer: D'oh!
Task: Collect Gas Cans
Task: Make Homer Eat it Hard
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
If the user has Wilbur Nurple: Task: Make Wilbur Nurple Prevail
Time: 4h
Location: Ball of Death, Spiro's, Circle of Death, Poppa Wheelie's or Homes
Homer: Am I the champion?
Bart: Yeah. You're the champion, Dad.
Homer: Woo-hoo!
Bart: No, I was being sarcastic…you lost and you're seriously injured.
Homer: Oh... Yup. I'm starting to feel things...painful things. *moans*
Wilbur Nurple: Now that I've won, I better not see any Spiro's Heroes around these parts cleaning up graffiti or protecting nerds from bullies.
Spiro: With our turf gone, how are we going to make a difference in our community?
Meathook: We could just go back to being badass bikers whose sole purpose is boozing, roughhousing, and more boozing.
Ramrod: Yeah, why'd we ever give that up?
Meathook: Let's ride through Springfield and rough up all who get in our way!
Comic Book Guy: No! Don't chain-whip my comics! You just destroyed an original Cyberella!
Comic Book Guy: This is just like when the necronauts overran the city and Cyberella had to rally the citizens against them!
Moe: No! You're defiling my love-tester machine! How am I supposed to test my love now?!
Apu: Oh, hey Meathook. Are you here to help remove some new graffiti on my wall?
Apu: What are you doing? You've chain-whipped all of aisles one, two, and three! And I only have three aisles!
Homer: Ah man, right when I get seriously injured, they start doing all the fun biker gang stuff…
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Where the Blubber Meets the Road
Auto starts
Homer: Marge, when they take this full body cast off of me, we're hitting the road on my hog and never looking back.
Marge: Absolutely not. You're never driving a motorcycle ever again!
Homer: Who said I'd be the one driving?!
Marge: *annoyed grumble*
Homer: Well, Bart, one day that beautiful hog will be passed down to you just as my grandfather gave it to my father, and my father gave it to me.
Bart: I thought you won the motorcycle in a dance contest at Greaser's Café?
Homer: I did. I sure did…
Bart: Is something wrong with his brain?
Dr. Hibbert: Not any more than usual. *chuckles*
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
