The Boy who LARP'd Pt. 1Auto starts
Wizard Martin: With my robe and staff, my raiment is complete.
Wizard Martin: Now, to gather like-minded fellows who would partake in my adventure and enjoy the protection of my mage-powers.
Wizard Martin: To The Place Of Awakening!
Task: Make Wizard Martin Search for Adventuring Companions
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Bart: Oh Martin, you constantly top your own lameness.
Wizard Martin: I'd tread lightly, good man. You can't be sure this is just a costume. You can't say for certain that I cannot curse you!
Bart: Actually, I can.
The Boy who LARP'd Pt. 2Martin starts
Wizard Martin: Step aside, I go now to the Place Of Awakening.
Bart: Where's that?
Wizard Martin: That's what I call the coffee place.
Task: Reach Level 14 and Build The Java Server
Task: Make Wizard Martin Search for Friends Online
Time: 4h
Location: Java Server
Wizard Martin: What's this? Doth my screen deceive me? Someone is seeking a mage of my power level and mana-capacity!
The Boy who LARP'd Pt. 3Martin starts
Comic Book Guy: So you seek to join my fellowship. First you must prove your worth. And know, brave mage, that I am demanding beyond all imagining and reason!
Wizard Martin: I am not afeared. My costume is most authentic and of the utmost correctness. My spells are based on research of esoteric books and wizard-type movies.
Comic Book Guy: I am intrigued. Let the testing begin!
Task: Make Wizard Martin Prove his Worth
Time: 4h
Comic Book Guy: Most impressive. You remind me of myself, when I was still but an XXL.
Wizard Martin: Have I passed your test?
The Boy who LARP'd Pt. 4Martin starts
Comic Book Guy: You have passed the first test. But it takes more than knowledge of spells and the use of flash paper! You must also possess a mind as sharp as Valyrian steel.
Wizard Martin: A test of knowledge? Perhaps you haven't noticed: I. Am. A. Nerd.
Comic Book Guy: Many have said that, but many break under my demanding focus on minutiae. I am known throughout the land as: “The Nit Picker.”
Wizard Martin: Then I say, pick away!
Task: Make Wizard Martin Ace an Online Trivia Test
Time: 4h
Location: Androids Dungeon
Comic Book Guy: Good, good, Han shot first… You spelled Khazad-dum correctly…
Comic Book Guy: You accurately translated “The Wreck of The Edmund Fitzgerald” into Elvish.
Wizard Martin: Did I pass?
Comic Book Guy: You did, young padawan, but one test remains.
The Boy who LARP'd Pt. 5Martin starts
Comic Book Guy: You are a worthy role-player. But ultimately it all comes down to…
Comic Book Guy: Single combat.
Task: Build the Android's Dungeon
Task: Make Wizard Martin and Comic Book Guy Engage in Single Combat
Time: 4h
Location: Android's Dungeon
Requires: Comic Book Guy
Comic Book Guy: Wow, (PANT) you're good. (WHEEZE) We've been goin' at it for what? Five… minutes?
Wizard Martin: I dunno… I can't see my watch… too dizzy.
Comic Book Guy: You're in. Let's… get… ice cream… extra smoosh-ins…
Wizard Martin: Make it so.
The Saxamaphone Pt.1Auto starts
Saxophone Lisa: What a perfect costume for me!
Saxophone Lisa: Now when I play my saxophone, I can actually “be the music!”
Saxophone Lisa: I feel a solo coming on!
Task: Make Saxophone Lisa Practice a Saxophone Solo at home
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson Home
The Saxamaphone Pt.2Lisa starts
Marge: My goodness, someone is feeling extra musical today!
Saxophone Lisa: This costume is inspiring me to try all kinds of new jazz improvisations! It's such a rush.
Marge: But why are you wasting all this good stuff? Nobody can hear you playing in your room.
Saxophone Lisa: Really? Do you think other people would want to hear it?
Marge: Of course! And you in that little costume! Priceless!
Task: Reach Level 12 and Build Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Saxophone Lisa Play a Saxophone Solo at Springfield Elementary
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Sherri And Terri: Saxophones don't play saxophones! Your costume makes no sense.
Dewey Largo: Stick to the score Ms. Simpson, showboating won't earn you a passing mark.
Ralph: Your horn sounds like dead ducks.
The Saxamaphone Pt.3Lisa starts
Saxophone Lisa: The kids hated my music.
Saxophone Lisa: And they said my costume was lame – which is insanity! Look at me! I AM A SAXOPHONE!
Marge: Aww, sweetie, who cares what a bunch of silly kids think?
Marge: They're just too young to appreciate how talented you are.
Saxophone Lisa: You're right! My music is sophisticated and complex.
Marge: I think you should go out and find a more mature audience.
Task: Reach Level 20 and Build the Town Hall
Task: Make Saxophone Lisa Play a Saxophone Solo at the Town Hall
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall
Quimby: I don't know what you're, er ah, protesting, but stop immediately or I'll have you arrested.
Saxophone Lisa: For what?
Quimby: An assassination attempt on my ears!
The Saxamaphone Pt.4Lisa starts
Saxophone Lisa: Nobody wants to hear me play.
Marge: Oh they're just a bunch of soulless politicians. You need to play for the working man.
Marge: People who can understand the beauty and pain of your music.
Saxophone Lisa: I've got it! I'll busk in the street. All the jazz greats started out that way!
Task: Make Saxophone Lisa Play Street Music
Time: 4h
Barney: Quiet little saxophone girl! Some of us are trying to sleep.
Saxophone Lisa: Really? I'm keeping you awake? The Crazy Cat lady's screaming next door isn't bothering you?
Barney: No. I relate to what she's laying down.
The Saxamaphone Pt. 5Lisa starts
Saxophone Lisa: Well, that didn't work either.
Marge: Okay, how ‘bout this? What if you played in a deserted forest? I'll bet woodland creatures would appreciate--
Saxophone Lisa: Wait a minute, I know what you're doing! You've just been sending me out of the house so YOU don't have to listen to me.
Marge: I'm sorry. I just don't get jazz. But who cares what I think? All that matters is what you think.
Marge: You love that Downtown Abby show and everyone else in the world hates it.
Saxophone Lisa: It's Downton Abbey and it's a huge hit.
Marge: Okay, well, I don't like it.
Saxophone Lisa: I'm going to my room to play my saxophone.
Saxophone Lisa: LOUDLY.
Task: Make Saxophone Lisa Play a Saxophone Solo
Time: 4h
Homer: Lisa's been practicing for a long time. I'm gonna tell her she's good enough to play at the Squid Port.
Marge: That won't work. She's on to us.
Homer: D'oh!
Truth, Justice, and the Milhouse Way Pt. 1Milhouse starts
Luann: Milhouse, I've finished your Radioactive Man costume!
Milhouse: Yes! This year I'll be a superhero instead of a dumb sidekick.
Milhouse: Maybe I won't get beat up as much.
Luann: That's a very good theory, Millie, but just in case, maybe you should wear your protective cup.
Milhouse: I always wear my protective cup.
Task: Make Radioactive Milhouse Wear His Costume to School
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Radioactive Milhouse: I feel powerful in this costume. Brave and invulnerable!
Radioactive Milhouse: Oh no, it's Nelson, there's nowhere to hide…
Nelson: Hey, Milhouse. Cool costume.
Radioactive Milhouse: We are through the looking glass, people.
Truth, Justice, and the Milhouse Way Pt. 2Milhouse starts
Sherri And Terri: Did you buy your costume from Halloween Headquarters?
Radioactive Milhouse: My mom made it.
Sherri And Terri: What do you mean? Like, she ordered it online?
Radioactive Milhouse: No, she actually made it.
Sherri And Terri: Like, it didn't exist and then she… made it?
Radioactive Milhouse: Yeah.
Sherri And Terri: Whoa.
Task: Make Youngsters Gawk at Milhouse's Costume
Time: 2h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Radioactive Milhouse Bask in the Attention
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Jimbo: Now that Milhouse is no longer a nerd, we'll be making less in lunch money hijacking.
Nelson: Don't worry – There's no shortage of nerds.
Truth, Justice, and the Milhouse Way Pt. 3Milhouse starts
Jimbo: Lisa, we regret to inform you that you will be taking Milhouse's place in the handing over of lunch money.
Lisa: I don't have lunch money. I brought my lunch.
Nelson: Okay, then we'll take your lunch.
Lisa: Really? It's tempeh and brown rice.
Radioactive Milhouse: Back off, bullies! Leave the lady's lunch alone!
Task: Make Radioactive Milhouse Stand Up to Bullies
Time: 3h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Jimbo: You're dead, Radioactive Nerd!
Truth, Justice, and the Milhouse Way Pt. 4Milhouse starts
Radioactive Milhouse: Whew, what a rush. Standing up to those bullies, saving your lunch.
Radioactive Milhouse: And I finally “get the girl!” This is going to be an adorable story to tell our kids.
Radioactive Milhouse: Don't you think, Lisa?
Lisa: Oh yes, it's an adorable story.
Task: Make Radioactive Milhouse Get the Girl
Time: 2h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Lisa Reject Milhouse
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Lisa: So who's this girl you got? Someone I know?
Radioactive Milhouse: Oh! I meant youuuu…
Radioactive Milhouse: …youuuu don't know her.
Truth, Justice, and the Milhouse Way Pt. 5Milhouse starts
Nelson: Okay, Milhouse. Time to get taken down a peg—
Nelson: Aggghh! Fire Ants!
Jimbo: He's making them bite us! Run!
Task: Make Radioactive Milhouse Be a Hero
Time: 24h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Lisa: Heh, heh, I decided to introduce my ant farm to the wild.
Radioactive Milhouse: Thank you for doing that.
Lisa: Of course, we're friends.
Radioactive Milhouse: So can I call you my girl… friend?
Lisa: You know you can't.
Willie's Labyrinth Pt. 1Auto starts
Martin: Oh, a hedge maze! How droll!
Martin: Hedge-keeper, I accept the challenge. I will solve your maze.
Willie: Don't be so sure o'yerself ye fancy little plumpkin! This is no ordinary maze.
Willie: Ye best take this flare gun.
Martin: What's the flare gun for?
Willie: The maze is nigh-unbeatable. When you're cold and thirsty and clinging to the last shred of your sanity, it's the only way we'll find ye.
Task: Make Youngsters Get Lost in the Maze
Time: 4h
Location: The Shinning Maze
Sherri And Terri: Come and play with us forever!
Martin: No one has ever wanted to play with me! WHAT KIND OF MADNESS IS THIS?!!
Willie's Labyrinth Pt. 2Lisa starts
Lisa: The secret to any maze is to be methodical and to stay calm.
Willie: Ye don't have what it takes, lassie.
Lisa: That's what Coach Krupt said about me and the rope climb and it turned out I did have what it takes:
Lisa: A note excusing me from P.E. But this maze will be a piece of cake.
Lisa: You can keep your flare gun.
Task: Make Lisa Get Lost in the Maze
Time: 6h
Location: The Shinning Maze
Lisa: Help! Help! I've been in here for hours! Please come and get me! I don't want to have to eat my own arm!
Lisa: I am vegetarian!
Willie: Ye see, lassie? I knew ye couldn't conquer this maze. Ye don't have the Shinning.
Willie's Labyrinth Pt. 3Willy starts
Lisa: The Shinning? Are you sure you're pronouncing that right?
Willie: Ach! Don't make fun o' me accent!
Bart: Hey weirdoes, ‘sup?
Willie: Boy! Are ye here to try yer hand at Willie's maze?
Lisa: If I couldn't do it, he certainly couldn't…
Willie: Stuffit! I sense greatness from this wee, spiky-headed lad. He's got The Shinning.
Willie: What say ye, boy?
Bart: Sure, all work and no play, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Task: Make Bart Find a Shortcut Through the Maze
Time: 2h
Location: The Shinning Maze
Willie: What did ye do to me maze, ye little monster?
Bart: You said you saw my shinning. I assumed that what you saw was my shinny new chainsaw. Which I used to cut through the maze.
Lisa: Do you mean “shiny?”
Willie: Quiet! You'll get us all sued!!
Under the Tentacles Pt. 1Kodos starts
Kang: Kodos, why are your tentacles encased in silk stockings and garters?
Fairy Kodos: At Halloween, it is acceptable for females to parade around in itchy, wiry underwear.
Fairy Kodos: This causes males to suck in their stomachs and buy alcoholic drinks.
Kang: Could you use this power to lure a human male into your bedroom?
Fairy Kodos: Why do you think I prepared the containment chamber?
Kang: Hahahahaha!
Fairy Kodos: Hahahahaha!
Task: Make Fairy Kodos Flirt With Human Males
Time: 8h
Location: Brown House
Glitch: If Kodos’ task doesn’t autocomplete, move away from the Simpson House for a few, come back, she’ll have the thumbs up icon on top of her.
Fairy Kodos: Greetings fat human! Give me a dollar and I will waggle my fleshiest body parts in your face!
Homer: Sorry, lady, I'm a married man. Ours is an eternal lap-dance!
Fairy Kodos: Rejected! How humiliating!
Kang: You have to lower your standards! You cannot pursue earth's most gelatinous man and expect to snag him!
Under the Tentacles Pt. 2Kodos starts
Fairy Kodos: Greetings! I find your neck-bow aesthetically pleasing!
Smithers: Thank you! Of course now everybody's wearing bowties. I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!
Fairy Kodos: Yes! Far superior to other flattery forms!
Smithers: You're fun. Nice deep voice – can't quite place the accent…
Fairy Kodos: Never mind that. Let's be fabulous!
Smithers: I thought you'd never ask.
Task: Reach Level 25 and Build Burns Manor
Task: Make Fairy Kodos and Smithers Spread Glitter Around Town
Time: 24h
Requires: Smithers
Smithers: You're handsome in a really unique way. Like that gorilla in Japan.
Smithers: I might be falling for you…
Fairy Kodos: Fall backward so you do not damage your face. I need a clean specimen.
Smithers: Ooh! Handsome and funny!
Under the Tentacles Pt. 3Kodos starts
Smithers: So this is where you live? I like it. Very “Lost In Space.”
Fairy Kodos: This is where you will stay.
Smithers: You mean like, live here? Whoa, this is moving way too fast.
Fairy Kodos: I merely meant this is the jar in which I will store you.
Smithers: Oh! A go-go cage – you wanna have a party!
Fairy Kodos: Yes, yes! Keeping it nice and breezy! Now get in the cage!
Task: Make Smithers Cage Dance
Time: 2h
Location: Brown House
Smithers: Put on some Grace Jones and stand back!
Under the Tentacles Pt. 4Kodos starts
Burns: Smithers! What are you doing?!
Smithers: I'm sorry, Sir! I met this guy and got carried away and--
Fairy Kodos: I am not a “guy!” I am female!
Smithers: Help! I've been kidnapped by a monster!
Burns: See here, Madam, my eyes need blinking! Release my assistant at once!
Task: Make Burns Stage a Daring Rescue
Time: 2h
Location: Brown House
Burns: Stand back or I will salt you like a sidewalk slug!
Fairy Kodos: Aaaaah!
Smithers: Mr. Burns, you're my hero!
Burns: Don't make this weird.
Early Squirrel Gets the Nut Pt. 1Kirk starts
Kirk: Why do I have to take off my pants when you measure me for my costume?
Kirk: No! I put them right there! Just a second ago! I swear! Right there!
Luann: I have to be very precise with the fit.
Kirk: True! Michael Corleone' had a good tailor, you know, being Godfather and all.
Luann: We're not doing that. Who would I be? Some Diane-Keaton-y chick who gets doors shut in her face?! Thanks, but no.
Luann: I'm done, you can put your pants back on.
Kirk: …
Kirk: …
Kirk: …
Luann: Don't tell me you lost your pants again!
Task: Make Acorn Kirk Look for His Pants
Time: 2h
Location: Van Houten House
Luann: This year for our costumes I thought we'd go…
Sexy!
Kirk: I think I could do… sexy.
Luann: I doubt that…
Luann: …but I Zumba-ed my as_s off to look good in this costume so that's what we're doing.
Early Squirrel Gets the Nut Pt. 2Kirk starts
Kirk: Oooh, you look sexy! Like a sexy, little… um… is it a mongoose?
Squirrel Luann: Squirrel. And here's your costume.
Kirk: Cute. A little acorn hat.
Squirrel Luann: No. It's your whole costume. I'll help you put it on.
Squirrel Luann: There are clear plastic straps that fasten around your butt-cheeks. But mostly, it's held on by spirit-gum.
If the user has Luann:
Task: Make Luann painfully glue Kirk's Costume to his groin.
Time: 6h
Location: Van Houten House
Requires: Kirk
If the user doesn't have Luann:
Task: Make Kirk Get His Costume Painfully Glued to His Groin
Time: 6h
Location: Van Houten House
Acorn Kirk: I feel kind of silly.
Squirrel Luann: You won't when you're at a party filled with people in even crazier costumes!
Squirrel Luann: Though you might feel silly when you go outside to get my make-up bag from the car, but I need it, so hurry.
Early Squirrel Gets the Nut Pt. 3Kirk starts
Acorn Kirk: Whoa! That squirrel ran right across my foot! Oh, he's friendly. Hello, Mr. Squirrel!
Acorn Kirk: And who are all your friends?
Acorn Kirk: And why are they chasing me!
Task: Make Acorn Kirk Get Attacked by Squirrels
Time: 24h
Wiggum: Hold it right there, Sick-O! Ugh, people like you make me sick!
Acorn Kirk: It's a costume! I'm not usually sexy!
Wiggum: You can be sexy as you want, but feeding squirrels is strictly prohibited!
Acorn Kirk: I don't want to feed them! I hate them! They're biting my nut without permission!
Wiggum: Well, let them finish and then move along.
Early Squirrel Gets the Nut Pt. 4Kirk starts
Acorn Kirk: Luann! You promised I could pick my own costume this year! I wanted to be The Godfather.
Squirrel Luann: Oh, sure, you get to play a powerful man while I'm just a mute accessory.
Acorn Kirk: I am an acorn! I'm always just a mute accessory!
Acorn Kirk: When you were Lady Godiva, I was a horse. When you were a princess, I was a pea. When you were the girl from The Exorcist, I was projectile vomit.
Acorn Kirk: I deserve to be a person! I deserve my dignity!
Squirrel Luann: Why are you standing here naked?!
Acorn Kirk: Squirrels ate my crotch-acorn! Now, back to what I was saying about my dignity…
Task: Make Kirk Argue
Task: Make Luann Argue
Time: 6h
Location: Van Houten House
Squirrel Luann: Luckily, I made you a spare costume!
Squirrel Luann: Will him pwease be my widdle Squirrel-nut?
Acorn Kirk: Okay. As long as I know her wespects him.
Squirrel Luann: Her does!
Squirrel Luann: Now turn around, I need to shave your butt.
Early Squirrel Gets the Nut Pt. 5Kirk starts
Squirrel Luann: This party is so much fun! This is our best Halloween ever!
Acorn Kirk: I agree----aaaaa-chooo!
Squirrel Luann: Kirk! You sneezed off your acorn! It's rolling down that hill!
Task: Make Acorn Kirk Chase His Acorn
Time: 8h
Location: Van Houten House
Wiggum: That's right, naked dude, you better catch that acorn' or I'll fine you for littering!
Cover Squirrel Pt. 1Luann starts
Lenny: Whoa, Carl, check out that chick dressed like a squirrel.
Carl: Hey, baby, I must be part Labrador because I wanna chase you up a tree!
Lenny: Yeah, cutie! You can break into my bird feeder any time!
Luann: That is so sexist!
Luann: A woman should be able to walk down the street dressed like a giant squirrel without having to hear comments about it!
Task: Make Squirrel Luann Petition for Women's Rights
Time: 4h
Miss Springfield: You're right, Luann, people are always saying I'm easy just cause-a the way I dress.
Miss Springfield: I am not easy! I make guys buy me stuff first!
Cover Squirrel Pt. 2Luann starts
Squirrel Luann: Ladies, it's time we teach the men a lesson!
Squirrel Luann: Boycott sexy Halloween costumes!
Squirrel Luann: This year, we'll all wear sexless, non-form-fitting ghost costumes.
Task: Make Springfield Women Buy Ghost Costumes
Time: 1h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
Marge: This is basically a white burka. Oh, I had such a pretty witch costume this year.
Patty: I feel like I'm wearing a muumuu. A drab, non-festive muumuu.
Luann: Perfect! That's exactly the look we're going for!
Cover Squirrel Pt. 3Luann starts
Ghost Luann: Hello Kirk!
Kirk: Uh, hello. Who is that?
Ghost Luann: It's me, Luann. I'm going as a ghost this Halloween 'you know, because of sexism.
Kirk: Oh, that's great. Good job. I can't even tell you're a woman right now.
Ghost Luann: Well, my voice…
Kirk: No! That doesn't give it away. I would totally believe there was a man under there.
Task: Make Squirrel Luann Cut up her Ghost Outfit
Time: 2h
Location: Van Houten House
Squirrel Luann: Oh look, something destroyed my ghost costume. Looks like I'll have to go back to being a sexy squirrel.
Cover Squirrel Pt. 4Luann starts
Squirrel Luann: Actually, I'm glad I'm back in this outfit.
Squirrel Luann: I didn't eat bread for a month – I deserve to be ogled and objectified.
Squirrel Luann: I choose it – so actually it's empowering.
Squirrel Luann: Being a feminist is fun!
Task: Make Squirrel Luann Show Off Her Squirrel Costume
Time: 8h
Patty: What's going on? How come you get to wear a cute costume?
Squirrel Luann: I'm making a feminist statement – If I'm the one doing the degrading – it doesn't matter if it's me that's being degraded…
Patty: Yeah, yeah, chitter, chatter little squirrel. C'mon ladies, let's get our sexy on!
Cover Squirrel Pt. 5Luann starts
Bernice Hibbert: If you got it, flaunt it!
Selma: Even if you have too much of it, flaunt it!
Marge: Halloween only comes once a year! Live it up!
Task: Make Springfield Women Sexify Their Outfits
Time: 8h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
Marge: I have an idea – Let's objectify the men!
Homer: Yes, please!
What Is Dead May Never DieAuto starts
Task: Tap the Disco Zombie
Spawn of the Elder GodAuto starts
Task: Tap the Star Spawn
Formless TappersAuto starts
Task: Tap the Formless Terror
No Bones About ItAuto starts
Task: Tap the Helter Skeleter
