Wild West: Prizes Walkthrough
ACT 2
Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' Pt. 1
Auto starts
Task: Tap Tumbleweed
Wild Wild Willie Pt. 1
Willie starts
Willie: Finally! There's a gun store in town!
Herman: I've been selling guns here for ages!
Homer: And Bloodbath & Beyond came to town last year.
Willie: Willie either can't, or won't, read. Willie forgets which. The end result is the same, Willie supposes.
Willie: Anyway, this store has a giant gun on the sign. So that's where I'm goin'!
Task: Make Willie Shop For Guns and Ammo
Time: 6h
Time: Ordnance Express
Wild Wild Willie Pt. 2
Willie starts
Willie: Is this the right gun for shooting squirrels on a busy kids' playground?
Squeaky Voice Teen: It's NRA-approved for just that use! With stopping power like this, you can make an awful lot of kids safe from terrorists. Add this optional hair trigger, and the safety really shoots through the roof!
Willie: Willie's not out to protect kids! Willie can't stand the wee devils!
Willie: I need this gun to stop the squirrels from stealing mah twigs, string and lint. I'm trying to make a nest here, too, after all!
Squeaky Voice Teen: Ok sir, but there's a waiting period.
Willie: Argh!
Task: Make Willie Impatiently Wait For a Gun
Time: 24h
Time: Willie's Shack
Wild Wild Willie Pt. 3
Willie starts
Willie: Finally! I got me boomstick and it's time for a proper reckonin'!
Willie: Do these rodents really think they can outsmart Willie...
Willie: ...just because their scores on standard intelligence tests are significantly higher than Willie's?
Task: Make Willie Lie in Wait
Time: 8h
Time: Willie's Shack
Willie: Ack, I must've dozed off.
Willie: Me gun! The rodent has run off with it!
Willie: You win this one ya' buck-toothed bedbug.
Willie: Looks like Willie's movin' back to the culvert. Well, I WAS starting to miss the odor of pig farm runoff.
All in a Day's Work Pt. 1
Auto starts
Outlaw Snake: I've been working so hard at outlawry, I clean forgot this is my weekend with my son Jeremy!
Outlaw Snake: I don't want my son to think I'm some two-bit criminal.
Outlaw Snake: I want him to think I'm a two-bit, loving father.
Task: Make Outlaw Snake Go Grocery Shopping
Time: 2h
Time: Kwik-E-Mart
Outlaw Snake: Hands up, grocery store workers! I need you to get me everything on this shopping list.
Outlaw Snake: I've organized the list by aisle, to make your robbery experience easier.
All in a Day's Work Pt. 2
Snake starts
Outlaw Snake: Shopping's done. What's next?
Outlaw Snake: ...ugh, laundry. Such a hassle. Sorting colors, waiting for the cycle to finish, folding...
Outlaw Snake: ...it's not easy on me, and it's not easy on the person I make do it at gunpoint.
Task: Make Outlaw Snake Force Flanders To Do His Laundry
Time: 4h
Time: Flanders House
Requires: Ned
Outlaw Snake: I don't know where you learned to fold towels, Flanders, but those bad boys are FLUFFY.
Outlaw Snake: You are now the ONLY guy I'll ever force to wash my undies.
Ned: Aw, you flatterer...
Outlaw Snake: No, you earned it, dude.
All in a Day's Work Pt. 3
Snake starts
Outlaw Snake: Groceries, check. Clean sheets, check.
Outlaw Snake: I still need to find the perfect gift.
Outlaw Snake: Siri, where's the nearest easy-to-rob toy or hobby store?
Task: Make Outlaw Snake Get a Gift From Android's Dungeon
Time: 4h
Time: Android's Dungeon
Requires: Comic Book Guy
On job start:
Outlaw Snake: Hands up, geekazoid! Gimme all your Cosmic Wars action figures, 1988 or earlier.
Comic Book Guy: Well, which one should I do? Put my hands up, or give you the figures?
Outlaw Snake: Everybody makes that joke, you know. You're not funny.
All in a Day's Work Pt. 4
Snake starts
Outlaw Snake: Yo, son! Look at all these sweet toys Daddy stole for you. Have fun playing!
Jeremy: That's great, Dad. But I was hoping I could come to work with you.
Outlaw Snake: Aw, shucks, little man. I don't have any robberies planned today.
Jeremy: Just thought I'd ask.
Outlaw Snake: But we could play cops vs. robbers?
Jeremy: Only if I get to be the robbers.
Outlaw Snake: That's my boy.
Task: Make Outlaw Snake Play With Jeremy
Time: 4h
The Lone Danger Pt. 1
Auto starts
The Kid With No Name: Call me... The Kid With No Name. Righter of wrongs. Protector of the meek. Shooter of buttwads.
Martin: Kid With No Name! I need your help!
Martin: The bullies have been mocking me at my dance recitals. Can you teach them a lesson?
The Kid With No Name: What's in it for the Kid?
Martin: I thought vigilantes didn't ASK to be paid. I am the meek, sir. You should protect me pro bono.
The Kid With No Name: Hey the Kid is just starting out. Once the Kid gets on his feet, maybe he'll be in a position to work for free.
Martin: Fine. How about a week's worth of homework?
The Kid With No Name: The Kid With No Name accepts.
Task: Make Kid With No Name Send Bullies a Message
Time: 1h
Time: Springfield Elementary
Nelson: Haw haw! Martin cares about something!
The Kid With No Name: Time for you to leave the recital, punk. No refunds.
Nelson: Whoa. Did you just pull a GUN on me? Ever heard of a proportional response, psycho?
The Kid With No Name: The Kid's anger gets away from him sometimes. It's something the Kid is working on in therapy. Now scram.
The Lone Danger Pt. 2
Bart starts
Lisa: Help, Bart!
The Kid With No Name: There's no Bart here, ma'am.
Lisa: *sigh* Okay, “Kid With No Name.” Have it your way.
Lisa: Your friend -- sorry -- my BROTHER'S friend Milhouse is still sending me Valentines. It's March. That's creepy.
The Kid With No Name: I deal with this kind of thing all the time, ma'am.
Lisa: Pffft! Sure you do, Bart--
The Kid With No Name: IT'S “KID,” LISA! NO ONE KNOWS WHO I AM. YOU'RE THE WORST SISTER IN THE WORLD!
Lisa: Geez, sorry. Listen, KID, take care of this and I'll eat your vegetables for a month.
Task: Make Kid With No Name Send Milhouse a Message
Time: 4h
Time: Van Houten House
Milhouse: Puppy Goo-Goo? Puppy Goo-Goo, where are you?
The Kid With No Name: I got your age-inappropriate security animal right here.
The Kid With No Name: Stop sending Lisa Simpson Valentines, or the puppy hangs from the tallest tree.
Milhouse: I'm not STUPID, Bart. She's just a stuffed doll.
The Kid With No Name: *COCKS GUN AT PUPPY GOO-GOO'S HEAD*
Milhouse: Okay, okay -- whatever you say! Just don't hurt her!
The Lone Danger Pt. 3
Bart starts
The Kid With No Name: The Kid With No Name. Wherever justice is in short supply, he rides a lonesome trail to--
Marge: Bart? Can I talk to you.
The Kid With No Name: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M PLAYING PRETEND? Oh, forget it. The moment's gone. What's up?
Marge: I hear you've been doing some questionable favors for your friends.
The Kid With No Name: Nope, not me. Probably Maggie.
Maggie: *indignant suck*
Marge: If you deny it, I know it's true. But this one time, I'm going to forgive you lying to me.
Marge: Mainly because I need your help. Skinner always awards Helen Lovejoy the School Fair Bake-Off trophy.
Marge: I don't know what she's got on him, but this year I want that trophy. Send a message to Skinner.
The Kid With No Name: What's in it for me?
Marge: Not being grounded for the remainder of the year.
The Kid With No Name: Good deal, good deal.
Task: Make Kid With No Name Send Skinner a Message
Time: 4h
Time: Springfield Elementary
Skinner: Someone crossed all the names off the Bake-Off list, except Marge Simpson!
Skinner: And they used my vintage crayon collection to do it! It's ruined!
Marge: Thank you, Kid! Mmmm-wah!
The Kid With No Name: Mom!
The Lone Danger Pt. 4
Mr. Burns starts
Mr. Burns: Are you the one they call “The Kid with the Self-Contradictory Name?”
The Kid With No Name: It's “...With No Name.” But now that you mention it, yeah, I guess I do have a name after all.
Mr. Burns: Thanks for spelling it out for us all.
Mr. Burns: Anyhoo, I have need of your services.
Mr. Burns: If you're half the marksman they say you are, I'll pay you anything you like.
Task: Make Kid With No Name Demonstrate His Skills
Time: 8h
Time: Control Building
The Lone Danger Pt. 5
Mr. Burns starts
Mr. Burns: Very impressive!
Mr. Burns: Now, to the task at hand.
Mr. Burns: Meet me here tomorrow at exactly this time.
Mr. Burns: I need you to “take care” of an associate of mine.
The Kid With No Name: “Take care?” Not sure I like the sound of that...
Task: Make Kid With No Name Have a Moral Crisis
Time: 12h
Time: Simpson House
The Kid With No Name: Mr. Burns? I'm sorry, sir, but I don't think I'm quite ready to “take care of” anyone.
The Kid With No Name: Maybe I'll be ready in a few years. Like, when I'm twelve.
Mr. Burns: Oh, you didn't think I meant “take care of” as in “take care of?” No, not at all!
Mr. Burns: I meant I want you to kill him. Kill my associate.
The Kid With No Name: Actually that IS what I thought.
Mr. Burns: No, no! You misunderstand! Kill my associate with KINDNESS!
Mr. Burns: By taking extra special, sweet care of him...
Mr. Burns: ...so that he is so overwhelmed with joy, he dies in screaming agony. Never to trouble me again.
The Kid With No Name: I'm confused.
Mr. Burns: Yeah, me too. Let's just part ways and call it a quest, all right?
Break and Corralling Pt. 1
Auto starts
Bart: Look, Milhouse! A stable! Let's break in and see if they have one of those talking “Babe” pigs.
Milhouse: What would we do with a Babe pig?
Bart: Win sheep herding contests, idiot. Just like we always dreamed.
Task: Make Bart Break In to Corral
Time: 4h
Time: Corral
Break and Corralling Pt. 2
Bart starts
Bart: No pig in here, but that awful smell is giving me an idea.
Bart: Think about it, Milhouse: why have horses been prized throughout human history?
Milhouse: As a means to travel rapidly over long distances? As a draft animal on farms?
Bart: Wrong. For their ability to create horse poop. And who hates horse poop more than anybody?
Milhouse: Principal Skinner! We had that assembly where he warned us against horse-poop-based pranks.
Bart: “You may smear anything all over my office,” he said. “But please, please, not horse poop."
Bart: Well, that's exactly what we're going to do.
Task: Make Bart Steal Horse Manure
Time: 4h
Time: Corral
Break and Corralling Pt. 3
Bart starts
Bart: That was perhaps our finest prank ever, Milhouse. Just incredibly hurtful. Well done.
Bart: And the best part is, horse poop is a renewable resource. We can do this again whenever we want.
Milhouse: I don't know, Bart. That manure was HEAVY. I wish the horses weren't so far away from school.
Bart: Good thinking, old chum! We'll move the horses into Willie's shack.
Milhouse: But... won't Willie just move them out?
Bart: I know you're one of those sad kids who considers the school janitor your buddy...
Bart: ...but Willie is weird. Really, utterly bizarre. He'll probably just start talking to them.
Task: Make Bart Sneak Horses into Willie's Shack
Time: 1h
Time: Willie's Shack
Task: Make Willie Talk With Horse Shack-mates
Time: 8h
Time: Willie's Shack
Willie: Bah, these horses are colder than mum's moss stew.
Willie: At least you still get me, Rakes-anne.
Rakesanne: …
Willie: Be nice now or ya won't get a fancy new horse-hair wig.
Grazing Saddles Pt. 1
Auto starts
Lisa: With all these horses around, you start to see their lives in a whole new way.
Lisa: Is it fair that we force these noble beasts to haul people everywhere?
Homer: Not just “people,” Lisa. COWBOYS. Cowboys are cool. And horses care deeply about associating with cool people.
Homer: If we forced them to carry around nerds – an accountant, say, or some total loser like a college professor – THAT would be cruel.
Lisa: I'm not buying it. I think it is inherently wrong and demeaning. IT IS NEVER OKAY TO RIDE A HORSE!
Homer: If you say so. Hey look at that horse. Isn't that--
Princess: *neighs*
Lisa: Princess! It's you!
Task: Make Lisa Drop Everything and Hug Princess
Time: 1h
Time: Princess
Grazing Saddles Pt. 2
Lisa starts
Lisa: Oh, Princess, I never realized how much I missed riding on your beautiful back. I could just ride you forever.
Homer: Lisa Simpson: World Class Hypocrite!
Lisa: Why?! Just because I said no one should ever ride a horse, and then immediately turned around and did it myself?
Lisa: Okay, I admit it. I'm a backsliding phony. But she is SOOOOO CUTE!!!! I REGRET NOTHING!
Homer: Hey, I'm GLAD you're a hypocrite. Hypocrites are much happier people. They can do whatever they want!
Homer: I'd hate to see my beloved little girl grow up practicing what she preaches.
Homer: That's no kind of life at all. I'm proud of my shameless little hypocrite! Go, Lisa, go!
Task: Make Homer Brag at Moe's
Time: 2h
Time: Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Lisa Brag on Facelook
Time: 2h
Time: Simpson House
Grazing Saddles Pt. 3
Lisa starts
Millicent: Now Lisa, I hope you will help Princess to develop the “Three Ps”: poise, panache, and pooping only in designated areas.
Millicent: I'd hate to see her turn out like all the other horses in this town. They're little better than animals!
Lisa: One thing she'll definitely learn is how to get the heck brushed out of your beautiful mane. I AM ALL OVER THAT THING.
Task: Make Lisa Ride Princess
Time: 6h
On job start:
Lisa: What do you think of Princess' new canter? Rhythmically, it's a perfect rendition of the drum part to Dave Brubeck's “Take Five.”
Millicent: Well, I'm not really comfortable with jazz. Too wild. Too new.
Millicent: Yes, dear. I really AM that old. But I suppose I will allow it.
