So quick update for anyone still having this issue! Literally my account for EA and origin had two different emails linked to them( how? I have no clue). One was from my early Xbox 360 account and one was my Xbox one. Somehow my account was sending verifications to my old email for origin I haven’t used in 10+ years. Why it’s now doing this and causing a miscommunication? I have no clue. The fix? Go into origin and unlink the email associated with it. Once I did this I could link my recent email and then my Xbox to my most recent account. Pain in the * but it worked.
P.S.- EA did nothing at all to help me with this fix. My wife is a good IT person and figured it out. If it weren’t for her, I would have sued them for al the money spent.