Netcode/Desync/Hit Reg, When do we get those?

No, there is generally no "paywall" for fundamental game mechanics like hit detection in major titles; these issues are almost always technical problems related to the game's netcode, server performance, or client-side latency. The experiences you describe—like headshots not registering damage, massive damage disparity, and suspicious kill cams/spectating—point strongly to severe netcode issues, server desynchronization (desync), or potential latency differences between players. Spectator modes can often be inaccurate due to how they process game data, which could explain why the player you spectated appeared to be shooting inaccurately. While some games do have cross-platform differences (like the aim assist and recoil you mentioned for controller players), the core problems of non-registering hits and damage variance are symptoms of the underlying technical infrastructure needing improvement.