Whats so funny about my posted conversation is the fact that this rep confirmed via "specialists" that nobody EVER gets to speak with, that the issues are all on their end and being fixed by the devs. He then proceeds to request me to troubleshoot on my end. What?!?
Makes me think of a past experience. I worked in the U.S. for a company doing troubleshooting for a Canadian phone and internet service provider. I was in the second class after said company in-sourced the positions back to the U.S. after a massive problem with the Indian customer support model. The company was so angry at the terrible level of service, they recorded phone conversations with Indian tech support and gave it to us as an explanation on why they brought it back to the states. Here are two of them, no exaggeration no lie, these are as real as you and me tech support solutions provided:
- Sir, it appears as though you are losing packets during communication with the internet. In order to fix this issue, I need you to remove the blue Ethernet cable from the wall and your desktop. Now turn the cable sideways so one connector is pointing toward the ground, the other toward the ceiling. Now shake the cable until all the lost packets fall out.
- (This is not a convo but a series of actions) Another tech put the customer on hold to review the issue and identify additional troubleshooting steps with their "Specialist" group. We watched him put the customer on hold, switch to a wireless headset, go to the kitchen (yes kitchen, not cafeteria), cook his lunch, then take his lunch to the bathroom. While eating his lunch on the pot, every 2-3 minutes he would un-mute the customer, tell them he was still working with his "specialist" team, put them back on mute, and continue eating. After 15 minutes, he came out from the bathroom, threw his trash away, went out and had a smoke, came back in, sat down, switched back to his handset and told the customer "All troubleshooting techniques have been exhausted, please contact a local network professional for further assistance." (Sounds quite familiar actually)