Posting in case you're in the same boat as me. My disabled account that required a password reset was my gmail, I made the mistake of clicking the Sign-In with Google button instead of just directly resetting the password. This mistake essentially created a new account with my disabled accounts email which in turn has prevented me from doing anything for the disabled account that is linked to my xbox account. Just came across this excerpt on an EA article, basically have to unlink the Google account, then change your email to a different email, then try resetting the password of the disabled account again. Havent been able to try though because there's a 30 day window between when you can change the email address on your account, and apparently me clicking sign in with google triggered that window. absolute joke of a user account system.
https://help.ea.com/en/articles/ea-account/delete-ea-account/#:~:text=change%E2%80%89the%E2%80%89email%E2%80%89address