Thanks for ansering back, @EA_Blueberry gives me a little bit of confidence to try again.
I did get a computer borrowed to me so that I could run some tests, I will download the UO Trace and share results later.
I have some videos of what lag looks like in my screen, but I can't share them here, (.mov) file not supported as attachment. so heres' the links
https://streamable.com/j8igq
https://streamable.com/g303p
Best way to define this lag, is tinny stutters every 10-30 seconds, and every 45-60 seconds a very long, noticeable gap with input delay.
I ran some tests with the computer, did 4 different speed services, and did two tests, one with two consoles off, the other with both consoles playing online.
Both seem pretty much the same.
80 mbps download, and 8mbps upload, ping ranges from 13 ms to 35 ms. I'm wondering if maybe every so often I'll get like a really big lag spike, like maybe for a fraction of a second I have 500 mili second delay, and that causes my lag?
Another thing that might be worth mentioning was when I was running the tests, lag did get worse when playing. So maybe someone technically inclined can interpret that better?
Lag was better this weekend, but still pretty bad. I'm really hoping I can fix this, because game isn't fun anymore, I used to be better at shooting and now I teleport badly. I know how this sounds, hahah but I'm serious. It really, really sucks.
I ordered a new modem from Amazon, maybe this helps. A "Citron GCN3550"
(P.s. it's actually Hitron modem, but I confusing the name to Citron and keep forgetting to correct myself, but I'm just gonna leave it because this is the only place where it would make sense not to correct it.)
Thanks for reaching out hope we can fix this.