Finally decided to "archive" this in the Stories and Legacies:https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AUuSg1Peel4/YTtv08zanzI/AAAAAAAAp78/4M6QKY6-U7EeWvD8yD8UMbndJ5RenDpvQCLcBGAsYHQ/s910/JPB_header.jpgChapter One - Stuck Here in Moonlight FallsHaruo: I don't know what the Watcher is thinking but he's placed me in Moonlight Falls with Bebe and River without so much as a "how do you do" and the only instruction being "Go forth and multiply". That really got me in good with both Bebe and River. They both are looking at me as if they'd like to grab the nearest sharp object and make me a eunuch. And the catch all is "You can only sell plasma bugs." - "You can eat stuff off trees and raid gardens for food, but until you've built your basic house, you can only sell plasma bugs. A basic house being one bedroom, one bathroom, one kitchen, and one dining room and outfitted everything in that basic house...all of which are paid for by plasma bugs." This is going to be the death of me.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_6wVmRx4SxU/YIvhMztm-6I/AAAAAAAAoXI/rzD54MJt-XgjatkaDyIOQ2Q2vdNkTLurwCPcBGAYYCw/s0/Screenshot-320.jpgRiver: Who the hell thought up this moronic idea. He and I know bloody well that it's a he...needs to be castrated.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xjRyu5rKpJ0/YIvh5k7iOdI/AAAAAAAAoXQ/LwXTdXKOGakV6vTCsCk9IO8i1uojnhiPACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-328.jpgBebe: Whoever thought up this idea deserves to be boiled in oil after being flogged to within an inch of his life.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cgpdXtIwEH4/YIviTabEKZI/AAAAAAAAoXY/iOXreXHg6WQry4iyahF0Xi-o6cc0GGM7gCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-329.jpgWatcher: "Oh...and don't forget, you're werewolves."Bebe and River: "You're kidding, right?"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/---7Cno6ccKE/YIviqFHR7gI/AAAAAAAAoXg/D4dNdj3Tg7kD3OzIZ-IGoGRJ30tAcNQcgCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-338.jpgWatcher: "Nope"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rfA0JCxV70I/YIvi6Mm90RI/AAAAAAAAoXo/5F75sehk2lsB7ZtjiZdhk0EGetXB-YluwCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-333.jpgBebe and River: "Oh...he's sooooo dead."https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_6wVmRx4SxU/YIvhMztm-6I/AAAAAAAAoXI/rzD54MJt-XgjatkaDyIOQ2Q2vdNkTLurwCPcBGAYYCw/s0/Screenshot-320.jpgHaruo: "I'm soooooo dead!"

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AUuSg1Peel4/YTtv08zanzI/AAAAAAAAp78/4M6QKY6-U7EeWvD8yD8UMbndJ5RenDpvQCLcBGAsYHQ/s910/JPB_header.jpgChapter Three: "Fishing and Fixing"It's a beautiful day out here in Moonlight Falls; y'know the kind of day that makes you wish that the weather could stay like this for the rest of your time there. Not too hot, not too cold, the temperature is just right and the humidity is just perfect so that the breezes are cool and the sun is just the right degree of warmth. Heck it's the perfect day for fishing.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-RN481nsuyCo/YI5ksg48ELI/AAAAAAAAoY0/uAlwVRLNwAM5HEqv2qjYMnAVUlLZzRauQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-346.jpgRiver: It's gorgeous out here. I could drop a worm in the water for hours and enjoy the weather out here.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-cmnHzjiaiCo/YI5lXCBU9JI/AAAAAAAAoY8/fkwt1DUG-AYtvZeSm4SCaSMbjHvx8w_VQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-347.jpgBebe: The pond's nice and the breeze coming off the water is great. I can hear the waterfall just over the way there.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6V2wPB_lit0/YI5lmsZi_OI/AAAAAAAAoZA/qm9X9ePfR3U091YDpVTDZ5WYt91BBNteQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-349.jpgHaruo: Oh, I sure hope the two of them don't castrate me. I think I'll stay here and fish for the rest of my existence if it keeps me intact.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-878UBhZEKzY/YI5l1IOuk0I/AAAAAAAAoZI/XNvmttDDCxkXCVaZhOyh5oE-pjZXbL7tQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-348.jpgRiver: I just realized I need a big knife to clean off these fish. I wonder if the grocery store carries knives.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-KZFzl3Wx2vM/YI5mbPSwU9I/AAAAAAAAoZc/-RkZT09JhPk6LUgGPTrNLwr9hc9_kAc2QCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-352.jpgBebe: You're right, River, there's plenty of uses for a knife.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-faOdZvT_rF0/YI5mrK306QI/AAAAAAAAoZk/nN1ae2mlsMMPSTxCVeYiadUveUARBk7EgCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-353.jpgMitchell: I sure hope she isn't thinking about castrating us too.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-crWBAwLowWA/YI5nC_xHAMI/AAAAAAAAoZs/x7TJiEf3Eis_N2bVaJdErGS2bpcVXkRFACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-323.jpgFranz: ~gulp~https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UIJeuPVlzzA/YI5nI9F7EfI/AAAAAAAAoZw/UQ4sAKubtjspX8IRLrAiJvkmHCBH1dsUQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-324.jpgYep...the three males are rather in a state of mind...considering that thoughts about fishing have suddenly turned to thoughts of orchiectomy. The Watcher would suggest they stay low and hide - but he doesn't want to make himself a target either.

https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AUuSg1Peel4/YTtv08zanzI/AAAAAAAAp78/4M6QKY6-U7EeWvD8yD8UMbndJ5RenDpvQCLcBGAsYHQ/s910/JPB_header.jpgChapter Two: "Guess It Could Be Worse"River: This is downright disgusting. I mean who agrees to a love-triangle with one guy and two women? I mean this has to be the work of a Male Watcher. Who else could it be?https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FPsnFn94mJ8/YIxT6idmbtI/AAAAAAAAoX0/GnoyBh7rKkoZ0zGCMuVVxAQFxlKlP3YogCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-339.jpgBebe: Hellooo...no kidding...either that or the Watcher is a major perv...https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-arVxLXJiv8Y/YIxUfWBm9jI/AAAAAAAAoX8/3xNmdMaj1a8g_WDjrqWhhcZizBaVxbAkgCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-340.jpgRiver: You think he put the Watcher up to it?Bebe: Well, that better not be the case.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LSvTbO2CHeQ/YIxVDQ2pm0I/AAAAAAAAoYE/WWTHqq0ODWY6KVsZIHZSwH9OtyrQ1mWkQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-341.jpghttps://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NdVJddETg24/YIxVDWw9M6I/AAAAAAAAoYI/PcyEkA5tjm4GDSjxKJjLsdIxNIpsbej9gCPcBGAYYCw/s0/Screenshot-342.jpgRiver: If he did...he'd better hope that we don't find out.Bebe: Yeah...hey...you...did you put the Watcher up to this idea?Haruo: (to himself) I'm soooooo dead...https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-esHz0CYuVrA/YIxVc368-gI/AAAAAAAAoYU/Jb6v7oVwsb0gpRUQNZnPuGO0U3odhIn3ACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-343.jpgHaruo: Me and my bright ideas...https://1.bp.blogspot.com/--eInlQdAiBY/YIxWBvrtC_I/AAAAAAAAoYc/52Y-CeF8BYI0MsyrGSSJnorSle-gjI4mgCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-344.jpg

Oh...great realized I have to track down all the posts... Well...here goes.

Just Plasma BugsChapter Four: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes Were-ChangesWatcher: Just when you think that things couldn't get any better, the fishing, the peace and quiet and of course, the incessant itching from grass fleas. River: Oooh...ugh...https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TNkRmOy6h70/YJBmkuBtv2I/AAAAAAAAoa0/uk6ohIIAdPsgNxjGaI7UX3nGzNASebFyQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-370.jpgRiver: Dang grass fleas...https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-vv-mK_06Du4/YJBmku2rybI/AAAAAAAAoa4/zcUVwYZ9uEI9-ubGsbQGNHDnJicUDHH5ACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-371.jpghttps://1.bp.blogspot.com/-DhsVYBRJcq0/YJBmkgjHjAI/AAAAAAAAoaw/8bUK_Vx64hk0Pn2g03HtAll_wdDoHiRFwCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-372.jpgWatcher: Evidently the itching forces you into getting the urge to change into something savage and scare the living daylights out of the rest of the populace, although the other pack of werewolves in town would't be bothered, nor would the walking undead bloodsuckers. However the fairies and the witches are darned near terrified.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9mT9BCIBD5k/YJBmJKISjmI/AAAAAAAAoac/sBg56lMkWkIw1KHo8m0zNjDdQbPGplbYQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-361.jpghttps://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rrCQkRmQkiY/YJBmJDjCqVI/AAAAAAAAoaY/Uf25jPSOUe0T5WEgUnqi5GTshfDck383gCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-363.jpgWatcher: Normally they would have passed out from each other's transformation, but well, evidently the discomfort of being bitten by fleas distracted them from being terrorized. Fleas don't discriminate between human form and were-form.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qFVRNr2q6Qs/YJBpvZ592aI/AAAAAAAAobM/JbSCXwDikAEj8jVija5cAN2QG_oHorxmgCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-393.jpghttps://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yE5_sjKu0ho/YJBpvXJgr-I/AAAAAAAAobQ/gEgNFY9ZG9QjMwGc0sD2cMN_OOtHPCywQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-396.jpgHaruo: I'm just going to go ignore all the werewolf transformations or I might just pee myself.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kxfJSmU-DQ4/YJBqJ37oEyI/AAAAAAAAobc/BFgiM4LZKYkFU_kuQB8hcBV5y6QaH6IeQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-397.jpgWatcher: Evidently he ignored them so long the sun set between the transformations of the girls and his own.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AZxHapgYeJA/YJBqiBg5dSI/AAAAAAAAobo/sq7RLjxWfbcuWU-c3EU0K82VolOaQdviwCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-402.jpghttps://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MGMVWsiayEs/YJBqiCll-_I/AAAAAAAAobk/42KXaaRMEx87rEqRqCRyNQAXk2nIUdO0QCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-407.jpgWatcher: Well, at least they could smell things a lot better now and hunt for gemstones, insects and other creepy crawlies. Whatever stuff that werewolves hunt for. I wouldn't know since I'm not one. And Mitchell, the cat, well, he went after a Malayan Krait that got a little too close to his buddy Franz.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-k3r3ZYWI650/YJBrLPWXqZI/AAAAAAAAob0/S97c3xj03cs7TTuegQzShuKsiF54ywoHwCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-412.jpghttps://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TtxBbkcNPOc/YJBrLCBDGuI/AAAAAAAAobw/yyU_opCV8ogh0iD8TYcWGgDqHJuuDTmdwCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-413.jpgWatcher: Don't ask me how a South East Pacific highly venomous snake got onto the North American mainland and populated the area. That might be a story for the Canadian Food Inspection Agency - which in itself is another story. Who the heck mandated the CFIA to oversee importation of pets? Yeah, it's not like we eat our pets...here......in Canada.

Just Plasma BugsChapter 5: Finding Plasma BugsWatcher: Sunset was a brilliant orange, but the warmth quickly faded and Haruo, well, he managed to get himself all highlighted by the sunset which probably wasn't a good idea if he didn't want to be ID'd by the rest of the hostile supernaturals namely those toothy plasmasuckers who had nothing better to do but drain humans of their life-essence and remark casually about how O- tasted better than A+ and whatever vintage was much tastier. Haruo hated those bloodsuckers with a passion. Nothing was better than to rip out the throat of one of those vampires and send them back to whatever hell they came from.Haruo: "Man...black nails? People are going to think I'm contagious or something!"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jegt8QOMU8U/YJI8WovqsQI/AAAAAAAAodE/p1pjvvvimRUN878qhVhdbhz4HIe2rEKLACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-425.jpgWatcher: "Don't worry, nobody will notice..."Haruo: You'd better hope not.Watcher (threateningly): "Hey, I made you, I can remove you from this game..."Haruo: "Oh, Please, can you, really, That would be so nice...??"Watcher: "No."https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TTsFLMLsvVM/YJI9dTy2z0I/AAAAAAAAodM/3aZzvfFJSbgmCzRynAKly6_TVI63dQCBwCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-424.jpgHaruo: "drats..."Watcher: "Meanwhile Haruo was bemoaning his fate with regards to being stuck in this sadistic Watcher's game of Let's see how much we can torture Haruo and by extension River and Bebe. Hey, the Watcher can call himself sadistic if he wants to. No point in sugar-coating it."https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Wtu20m_kKsk/YJJA2WgboeI/AAAAAAAAodU/Ou2YEq8a_v8a2iuuplkgCdYS0q8cN5-hACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/evilsmile_memeface.jpgBebe: "Guess I didn't do too badly. Found a plasma bug. "https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oFFAzlZWL84/YJJEiaO5gqI/AAAAAAAAodc/Vml5u5d8QicW1OFS1nt12QQjyahWPDXBQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-427.jpgHaruo: "Yeah, I found two."https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hok9S92KHSI/YJJF2G6LGvI/AAAAAAAAodk/6YQ_ARCR5eU7nXblChPYPv0MKIAkMobWQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-429.jpgRiver: "Heh heh heh...I found eight." Winner winner chicken dinner.https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4_j631GilmM/YJJGSt4mbpI/AAAAAAAAods/CeyTA-UOpYcR90s_PNOdhEf8p_IHyNBpQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-428.jpgBebe and Haruo: "Hey...she must've cheated!"River: "No I didn't..."Bebe and Haruo: Yes, you did...River: "No I didn't..."Watcher: "OK...next time you each find as many as you can...and well who ever wins it wins it, no complaints, got it?"All: ~grumble~.Watcher: "Now get in your tents, it's late and you all need some sleep."https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eLwaBtJCG-Y/YJJGvHoZZUI/AAAAAAAAod0/83Fapl1w_w8xaa2rEZrUiPeP_YYFPpCNQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-434.jpgRiver: "But I have to turn in the plasma bugs."Watcher: "Oh, all right...get going..."https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-sj9QMYtMHL8/YJJHHEGEWvI/AAAAAAAAod8/3sNXrNwoI04h7X89F0HYPaZ32x81W58fACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-431.jpgTaxi Driver: "Hey Lady!!! I'm drivin' here!!! Get the heck outta the way!!!"River: "Cranky driver!!!"https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PHAqKNrkwfk/YJJHhtdy8cI/AAAAAAAAoeE/IN4K5TozS9YKUf5PT7ZysLEx43l8NY0VQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-430.jpghttps://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7Ih2uAAiMxg/YJJJRBbH8pI/AAAAAAAAoeM/3OUbzseG7H8tN3buYGkYlUb05Jk-2XDHgCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-436.jpgWatcher: "Well...at least she made it back safely after depositing a grand total of eleven plasma bugs for the night...little less sleep than the rest of the gang; a nice haul of about §48,950 in the account and a bunch of satisfied biology eggheads. What else could be better?"All: "A house would be nice..."Watcher: "Shut up and go to sleep!!!"

Sims 3 Crackfic - "Just Plasma Bugs"

16 Replies

NikkeiSimmer
Legend
4 years ago
Just Plasma Bugs
Chapter Eleven: "Making Potions, Fishing and Deafening Argus Brown"

New Narrator: "Utilizing the potion table, River happily concocted potions that would supposedly do a variety of things that would help them, including increase their lifespan exponentially, as well as bring an annoying little critter to life called an imaginary friend. Which hopefully would be avoided as most of River's extended relations didn't know where she was, nor was Haruo's relations inclined to send anything should something happend that would cause offspring to pop out. Hopefully it would stay that way, since imaginary friends were creepy."

River: "I think they're cute."

Bebe: "I think they're creepy too. And you never had one so how would you know?"

River: "Several of my friends had one. Heck one even married her imaginary friend."

Bebe: "That is so weird."
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Bebe: "...yeah...definitely weird... So you go hang out with your weird self...and I'm gonna go fishing...with Haruo."

River: "Yeah OK... you do whatever..."

Bebe: "Hey, Haruo, let's go fishing...no knives... I promise."
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Haruo: "Oh...ok..."

River: "Hey, Haruo, it's your turn to make dinner."

Haruo (outraged): "What do you mean MY turn, I made dinner last night!"

River: "No you didn't, you made apple pie...that's dessert, not dinner."

Haruo: "Nag nag nag..."

River: "I heard that."

New Narrator: "When Haruo and Bebe were at the park, they got to know one another.
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New Narrator: "Both Haruo and Bebe were interested in fishing...which made things nice and cozy between the two of them. Bebe was also interested in gardening which was yet another thing that they shared in common. Of course they also talked about the things that formulated the challenge that they were set out to do. They'd completed the plasma bugs section of the challenge relatively quickly and considering that they were werewolves, it was relatively easy as well as with the assistance of the dogs and the cats of which there were one more of each. Mitchell was joined by a female cat named Sasha and Franz was joined by a male friend named Heinz, like the ketchup, only saltier. They were all aggressive hunters with a penchant for finding things and digging holes in the ground. Sasha and Mitchell were both good with their claws taking on anything with no, two, four, six or eight legs (which included the spiders)...so far there were no centipedes, as far as they knew so anything more than six legs was considered unnatural which put the spiders right into that category."

Bebe had to go transmute some more plasma bugs, so she headed home...directly after catching a few fish. Haruo on the other hand headed to the grocery store, which ended up with him running into Argus Brown the town thug. Haruo gave him one heckuva greeting with the Pyle Megaphone dialed up at ten. It probably turned Argus's ears inside out as well as bulged his Eustacian tubes. "HEY, ARGUS, I HEAR YOU BEAT UP A FAIRY!!!"
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New Narrator: "Actually, Argus didn't mind getting his eardrums blasted out and they struck up a conversation. Well, let's just say Argus knowing that Haruo knew martial arts, knew that he was out-matched if he tried to take Haruo on. So being wise, he chose to strike up a conversation instead of getting in a fight. Wise choice."
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New Narrator: "Comparing fang-sizes was the order of the day.

Haruo: "See how big my incisors are?"

Argus: "Pretty decent size, but hunched over like that you look like Igor."

Both: "Ha ha ha ha..."
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New Narrator: It was getting late in the afternoon which made for golden light (to photographers) which bathed everything in a nice warm glow. And of course the older bridge was a nice thing to photograph, which was something that River did, because she was planning to paint a picture of it. She also headed down to the waterfall and took yet another picture.
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New Narrator: "Taking some time to herself, River decided that she was going to go fish at the pond on the far side of town."

River: "It's nice here, except for the mosquitos the size of B-52s."
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-K1dXeVNBV44/YK2cKtstqmI/AAAAAAAAots/71IPMxiMrBQxZPEMcsT9BH3_nZCyENWFACLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-19.jpg
New Narrator: "Could be worse, the mosquitos could be infected with Yellow Fever."

River: "Oh, shut up!"
NikkeiSimmer
Legend
4 years ago
Just Plasma Bugs

Chapter Twelve: "The Watcher Gets Bored"

New Narrator: Well, never let it be said that life in the house that plasma bugs built is dull. (no, the plasma bugs didn't pull out hammer and nails or any other assorted construction tools to build it - it was that their little lives being thrown into a radiation bath and subsequent dissection by those psychos at the science lab brought in enough money to build the house). However Franz (the Rottweiler) wanted someone to play ball with him and the other mutt wanted Kibbles n' Bits...n' bits and bits...now if you have that advertisement running in your head...you're welcome).
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New Narrator: Haruo getting tired of playing Skate or Die on his laptop decided to fall asleep on his bunk. Luckily he's a very tidy sim and decided that he was going to put his desk under the bunkbed so that he could conserve on space in that room (like what is he gonna put there anyways? A pool table?
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New Narrator: Bebe on the other hand went back to irradiating bugs to turn them into plasma bugs. I'm sure the bugs are getting really tired of getting zapped with ionizing radiation. One of these days she's going to end up with Mothra.
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New Narrator: And...well, River went off to sell some of her paintings.
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New Narrator: Haruo had some pie. And then promptly gave himself a concussion while conjuring.
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New Narrator: The next morning was an early morning after all, they wanted to get busy and keep producing things that would keep the roof over their head. Bebe went to nuke more bugs; River headed to the alchemy station to figure out more potions.
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New Narrator: ...and well Haruo, he stayed up in his room to keep out of River and Bebe's way. And then he headed off to buy books at the bookstore.
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New Narrator: To delay his way home, he decided that he was going to go ahead and bike home but on his way home, he decided that he was going to kill some hours at the elixir consignment store - the emporium of the weird occult.
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Watcher: I am so bored...I swear if nothing happens any time soon...
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One of the Wolff kids: "OWWWWWWWWW!!!!" (sound effects TZZAAAAAAP!!!)
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Watcher: Oops...sorry. Must have lost my grip on that lightning bolt there.
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One of the Wolff kids: ~groan~ ow...No worries...no harm no foul...
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New Narrator: Oh dear...c'mon...quick...do something interesting before he targets me...

Haruo: Like this?
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New Narrator: Oh...c'mon!!! Really...Fishing?
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Haruo: It's interesting to me...

New Narrator: "You're going to be the death of me...
NikkeiSimmer
Legend
4 years ago
Just Plasma Bugs

Chapter Thirteen: "Full Moon Flirting"

New Narrator: Fat lot of help you were, Haruo. Anyways...River, on the night of the full moon, was out selling a painting...when her transformation took place. Luckily it was a deserted strip of shops since most everyone had gone home to eat...and the shopkeepers were just counting their floats and tills; so no-one ended up dropping a smelly biological load in their trousers or pants... whatever the case may be.
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New Narrator: Haruo, being at home, scared the living bejesus out of the cows. Nice going there, Haruo...

Haruo: At least it wasn't Angus beef...might have soured the meat. Hey maybe we might get sour cream from these Holsteins.
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Mutt One: What would happen if I stuck my head in the garbage can?

Cat: I want fish.
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River: You just had to get a small table, didn't you...?

Haruo: Hey don't look at me, you're the one who told me to save money!

Bebe: Haruo, you probably don't want to piss her off any more than you're doing right now...

Haruo: Why?

Bebe: Because it's a full moon and she's a werewolf

Haruo: Yeah, we're all werewolves.

Bebe: ...and two words...Aunt Flo.

Haruo: OH Poopsicles!
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Haruo: Yeah, I'm going collecting tonight, See ya.

River: Chicken...
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New Narrator: After returning from the gemstone and metal collecting, Haruo decided head for the basement and stay there for the rest of the night. It might not be wise for him to pop his head up stairs for fear of River eviscerating him. Then again, that might be amusing to watch.

Haruo: "Shut up, Narrator. Hey Watcher, when we going to get a fridge downstairs here anyways?

Watcher: Zzzz...huh..what? No...
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New Narrator: Next morning Haruo headed over to the elixir shop to consign some gems and smelted metals.
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New Narrator:...and River took a long moment to reconsider her stance on Haruo.

River: Hey, after all, he's the only game in town at the moment and the Watcher did say that to go forth and multiply.

Watcher: Wait a second, I did? Hey now we're getting somewhere...

River: oh...shut up!!!
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River: Hey, Haruo...y'know. I haven't really been giving you a chance, have I?

Haruo: Uh...well...

River: Um...y'know...you really aren't half-bad...

Haruo: Um, thanks, I think...
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River: You remember what the Watcher told us?

Haruo: ~gulp~

River: ...uh...go forth...and uh...multiply...

Haruo: Um. one times one is one... one times two is two, one times three...

River: Not that kinda multiply, ya dope!
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River (hugs Haruo and purrs): This...kind of multiply...
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Watcher: Woah...now this is getting interesting...

Haruo and River (both): Shut up, Watcher!
NikkeiSimmer
Legend
4 years ago
Just Plasma Bugs
Chapter Fourteen: "Attraction"

River: "You know, Haruo...like I said, you're not half-bad. And I think I could get to like you a lot. Y'know what they say about this challenge, right? Since we've built the house...thanks to all these plasma bugs that Bebe mutated with radiation, we can now start creating the next generation.

Haruo: "Next generation of what?"
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River: "Oh my god...you're dense."

Haruo: "I dunno...what...the next generation of plasma bugs?"
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River (looks at narrator): "Do I really have to do this?"

Narrator: "Anybody else up for it?"
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Haruo: "Here, have some flowers... I promise, no bees."
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River: "oh...how nice...why thank you. So...big stud-muffin...what do you look like with your shirt off?"

Narrator: "Yeah, I'm going to go play on the computer...enjoy yourselves." (resumes narrating)"...and that's how Haruo and River...managed to start off the next...round of little ones...Hey...you two mind keeping it down in there? I'm trying to do my job here."
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Bebe: "Well, at least breakfast is good...and it didn't come out burned. I think Haruo's cooking skills are getting better."
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Cat: "Meow...mrrrow..." (translation) "Do I really have to go out to hunt for plasma bugs today? I'm really not feeling well."

Narrator: "I don't know...but you might end up as stew...if you don't..."

Haruo: "Hey, I heard that. I don't eat cats..."
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"...or dogs either" (Author's note: I'm Asian, I can make that joke)

Narrator: "After some glorious moments...Haruo headed over to the elixir shop where he met up with the proprietor who had some nice flow happening; business in the front; party in the back - but hey, consigning one's rocks was the order of the day. Now that they didn't have the limitation of selling just plasma bugs to the science center; they'd be doing OK."
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Proprietor: "You got HOW many rocks? Geez, what? You collect them all until now? (aside) I think I'm going to have to start putting a limit on how many rocks he can consign at once. Oh well, just so long as there's buyers for them."
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River (at home): "Well...that was fun..."

Narrator: "Look, lady, I'm just here to narrate this story. I don't want to know all the gory details!"
NikkeiSimmer
Legend
4 years ago
Just Plasma Bugs
Chapter Fifteen: "Cars and Hot-Tubs"

Narrator: "The next morning, Haruo pulled his lazy rear-end out of bed."

Haruo (enraged): "Hey watch your mouth. I'm not lazy...you arrogant mouthpiece."
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Narrator: "Get a job. In any case, he was headed outside to head for the elixir shop again. This guy is really going to brass the tacks off the proprietor."

Haruo: "He said one consignment set every day...so I'm doing one consignment set every single day..."
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Narrator: "At three in the morning?!!"

Haruo: "Yeah...so?"
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Proprietor: "Oh...it's YOU again."
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Haruo: "Might as well go to the bookstore and get a few things."
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Narrator: "...and Bebe had some more plasma bugs to send to the science center."
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Bebe: "Hey, Haruo, you are doing such a great job with the gardening...and with cooking too..."

Haruo: "Yeah...uh...thanks, I think...(suspicious) hey...you trying to butter me up?"

Bebe (innocently): "No...is it working?"
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Bebe (sighs): "Back to irradiating more bugs."
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River: "I hate this potion table, that's the sixty-ninth time it's tried to blow me up."

Bebe: "...and I presume it doesn't even have the courtesy to say thank you either..."

River (eyeing Bebe with one raised eyebrow): "Oh...shut up..."
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Bebe: "Oh look, we can now finally afford cars...and Haruo finally built us a three-car garage."
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River: "...and a hot tub too...oh, this is great..."

Bebe: "And you were the one complaining the most about having to do this challenge."

River: "Oh...shut up..."
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Bebe: "Don't forget to thank Haruo for doing all this..."

River: "Oh...I'll thank him in a way he won't forget..."

Bebe (raises eyebrows): "Oh...really?"

River: "Oh...shut up!!!"
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Haruo: "Of course, I need a truck...a big one - Gotta love my Dodge Ram 3500."

River: "Compensating?"

Haruo: "I didn't hear any complaints last night..."

Bebe (giggling her head off): "He got you there..."

River: "Oh...do shut up..."
NikkeiSimmer
Legend
4 years ago
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Chapter Sixteen - "Eunuchs and Trucks"

Chapter Sixteen: Narrator: There's something virile and manly about owning a big Crewcab Dodge Ram 3500 long-box with a hemi diesel. Maybe it's those snorting horses of the revving engines, maybe it's the fact that if you lift the suspension, women need to use a stepladder to get into the cab...and the resulting benefits...

Haruo: Or maybe it's just the practical aspect.

Narrator: Sheesh...you take all the fun out of pondering.

Haruo: There's nothing to ponder, I just use it to take my produce to the grocery to sell it. And haul plants back from the nursery? What else is there.

Narrator: But don't the drivers get out of your way when you come barreling down the street with that big truck?

Haruo: It's the Sims, you vacuous twit, you think these idiots get out of the way?
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River: Hey, stud...you in the mood? So show me that you're not compensating with the size of your truck.

Narrator: See...

Haruo: Oh, shut up, Narrator.
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Bebe: I think I'll stick to painting.
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Next afternoon
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Bebe: We've been here for four hours. Haven't caught a thing yet.
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Haruo: Only thing we've been catching is flies.

Narrator: Hey, at least that's something.

Bebe and Haruo: Shut up, Narrator.
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River: All I'm catching is a nasty case of staphylococcus; maybe even e coli. What the hell has he been eating?
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Narrator: And Bebe lost her mind...and went out at night to go talk to the plants.

Bebe: You know, Narrator, there's been numerous studies done about the benefits to plants of actually talking to them. It supposedly makes them grow quicker and give bigger harvests. It's absolutely beneficial.

Narrator: And it's also friggin' nuts too. You ever seen what you look like talking to a plant.

Bebe: No more crazy than you talking to yourself...or to an invisible audience.
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Narrator: Meanwhile, River was well on her way to painting her first masterpiece. Though I'm sure there were other masterpieces that she was considering. ~nudges Haruo~ Say no more...
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River: Shut up! Narrator...and not a word out of you...Haruo, unless you want to be Farinelli.

Narrator and Haruo look at each other

Narrator: Fari-who?

Haruo: Farinelli was a castrati...

Narrator: ...a what?

Haruo: A castrati is... ~makes a cutting gesture and points at that general area~ when a young boy gets his you-know-whats removed...surgically in the hopes of keeping his boyish high-pitched voice...it was quite prevalent in baroque opera famous during the 18th Century. Farinelli was otherwise known as Carlo Maria Michelangelo Nicola Broschi. What confuses me is that River isn't known for listening to baroque music. She prefers rock.

Narrator: Yeah, I'd watch it if I were you...or she might Bobbit-chop you one.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B2MUiXUP1Sk/XXCh_Or37XI/AAAAAAAAfVg/7h3qiubMzHooxP6bUtJNETEPjqhPnx9tQCLcBGAs/s1600/NSFW-warning.jpg
Bebe: Oh, yeah...while River is painting, you want to go forth and multiply with me?

Haruo: MMmmhmmm...sounds like a plan.

Bebe: C'mon, Haruo, show me you're not all just talk.
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SyMZE5waWRQ/YTuBQDAd5zI/AAAAAAAAp9U/UBmEPcMxOWwu02SNrvdkhJvnLdAEwdiaQCLcBGAsYHQ/s0/Screenshot-222.jpg
Narrator: I think I'll just go check out your truck.

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